Not only did I have a family, I had quite a large one at that. I had five cousins, two boys, three girls, four of which were married, and three of which had children. I was an aunty of my own now, and the feeling that bubbled up in my chest every time one of my little nieces or nephews called me that was simply amazing. Sophie and Ari, the three year old twins, spent the most time at the mansion. I got to know them well, getting over their shyness through bribery and treats.
I did a lot of cooking over the course of the week. In some ways it helped my feeling of guilt at intruding on my aunt. When she realized that I felt some obligation towards cooking for her, she banned me from the kitchen. My banishment barely lasted a day before everyone was begging me for more baked treats. It was nice to know that something I did was appreciated. I liked feeling wanted.
For all that I cooked, I didn't eat much. I couldn't sleep either. My nightmares had returned with a vengeance and even the sleeping pills I took did not seem to hinder them. My weight dropped again and my aunt grew worried. She tried to get me to do go out and do things, but I prefered the safety of staying within the mansion. What was the point of going out anyways. I had everything I needed right there. A large kitchen, little nieces and nephews to keep me company, and my daily phone call to Zoey. My aunt even helped me clear out a room and convert it into a studio for my art.
I was content, sometimes even happy, though the happiness never lingered long. Even with my new family surrounding me I could not help but miss Sam. I began to think of my life in two parts, the before Sam, and the after Sam. I tried to convince myself that the before Sam was much worse than the after Sam, but that did not seem to stop the ache that rested in my chest. The pain never left, the constant pressure in my chest that made my eyes burn with tears. The pain of my broken ribs was nothing compared to the pain of losing Sam.
The only time I did leave the house was to visit my new therapist Dr. Hopkins. He was a humorous old man in his late forties. I liked him instantly. Although we did occasionally talk over serious things, like getting over my negative self image, or my PTSD, we mostly just talked. It was nice to have someone to just talk with.
Pulling into the drive from one of my sessions with Dr. Hopkins, I was surprised to see an unfamiliar vehicle parked out in the front. The black sedan was posh and it instantly reminded me of Sam, making my heart clench painfully. Grabbing my bag from the car, I walked inside and headed towards the kitchen. I'd looked up this new cookie recipe online and was dying to try it out. The twins could be my guinea pig taste testers. They were sleeping over tonight seeing as their parents were on a brief business trip.
Seeing an older man standing at the kitchen counter, I let out a startled squeak. He chuckled at my wide eyes and gave me a warm smile. I took a wary step backwards, my fear ramping up as I realized that this was a complete stranger to me. What if he was a burglar, or a murderer, or . . . My thoughts trailed off as I studied him more closely. I was being ridiculous. What kind of murderer wore a business suit? Taking deep slow breaths, I tried to recall what Dr. Hopkins had said about this kind of irrational fear.
The older man gave me a concerned look. "Are you alright my dear?"
"Yes, quite alright. Who are you?" My voice came out higher than normal.
"Ah, how rude of me. I'm Marcus." He held his hand out and I placed mine into his, expecting a brief handshake. Instead his other hand reached on top of mine and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "And you must be Rose. It's so nice to finally meet you."
Before I could dwell too much on the fact that this man knew my name, Sophie and Ari came running into the room. They let out excited squeals and leapt into the man's waiting arms.
"Grandpa, grandpa!"
My breath instantly eased as I realized that this must be my aunt's husband. I felt ridiculous now that my fear had fled, and I could feel my cheeks turn pink with embarrassment. Gosh, and I'd thought he was some kind of murderer.
Sophie and Ari detached from their grandpa and ran over to give me my very own hug. I laughed and knelt down to wrap my arms around the two warm bundles.
"Do you guys want to help me make some cookies?" Sophie cheered followed me over towards the cupboards, leaving Ari to talk with his grandpa.
A few hours later when I was holding Sophie up to wash her little hands under the kitchen sink, my aunt finally arrived. Seeing her husband at the kitchen table with Ari in his lap, she let out a contented sigh. I could help but smile at seeing her happy. She was such a loving person, and I could tell that she had missed her husband while he was away. Marcus plopped Ari down on the floor and walked over towards his wife, wrapping her up into a warm embrace. Their gazes spoke of love and my heart melted a little more at the sight.
Pain shot through my chest as my thoughts flitted to Sam. Tearing my eyes away from the scene, I tried to halt the oncoming tears. None of my family new about Sam and I's relationship. Taking a deep rasping breath I gave Sophie a kiss on the forehead and plopped her on the floor so that I could help her dry her hands. Plastering a smile on my face I turned my attention back to my niece.
"Should we go check if our cookies are ready?" We both knelt in front of the oven and stared at the chocolatey goodness that was melting within. "I think they're done. What do you think?"
"Yep. They're done." Her head bobbed up and down in a definitive nod.
"Okay. Why don't you go tell everyone else that the cookies are ready?" Grinning, I watched as she raced around the room telling her grandma and grandpa how she had baked the cookies all by herself.
Taking the cookies out of the oven, I stuck them on a plate to cool. Moving towards the sink, I turned on the water to wash my hands. Looking out the window I stared out at the back yard. People always thought that Texas was too dry for plants to flourish, but the backyard here was bursting with trees and life.
Turning off the water I went to dry my hands. Feeling a prickling sensation run across my spine, I jerked back towards the window. For a second I could swear I saw a figure watching me from the tree line, but when I blinked he was gone.
My heart pounded in my chest and my hands began to tremble. Stop it, Rose. You're imagining things. But I couldn't help the bad feeling that had begun to settle in my stomach. Turning away from the window, I brought the cookies to the table, trying to bring my attention back to the present.
The eery feeling of being watched followed me around for the next few days. Every time I left the house I felt like a pair of eyes was following me. Even within the house I could feel them always watching me. I took to closing the drapes of the windows whenever I was sitting alone in my bedroom. It helped to have other people around me. Somehow the feeling of being watched drifted into the background when I was spending time with my new family. Even now as I curled on the couch in the living room, my phone to my ear, I felt as if eyes were watching me through the window.
"Rose? Rose." Zoey's insistent voice brought me back from my daydream.
"Yeah sorry. I was just lost in my head for a second there."
"Please tell me you weren't thinking about the chicken poop again. He's not worth any of your awesome brain power." I smiled. Zoey had come up with a few less than flattering words to call her brother in the last two weeks. Although we mostly avoided talking about him entirely, sometimes we ended up stuck in circles around why Sam was a douche for breaking my heart. It was nice to know that Zoey was on my side, but at the same time I felt guilty that I was the reason that they weren't talking anymore.
"No. I wasn't thinking about him. But you guys should really talk. He's still your brother you know."
"Sisters beat brothers in a heartbeat."
"Don't say that Zoey, you're gonna make me cry." My voice came out choked through my tight throat. When I finally got my tears under control I said, "You know I consider you to be a sister to me too, right?"
"Of course. If you didn't I'd have to come down to Texas and make sure you hadn't gotten into some drugs or something." I laughed at Zoey's ridiculous statement.
"God I miss you."
"I miss you too girl." Zoey blew me an air kiss through the phone and I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face.
"How is your dad doing?"
Zoey let out a huff. "Cranky as hell and dying to go home, but he's recovering. I was so glad when he woke up from his coma, but now I kind of just want him to go back to sleep." Zoey's voice was joking and I could still hear a hint of worry hidden within her tone.
"I'm glad he's doing better. How much longer do you think you're going stay there for?"
"Probably another week or so. Just until he's back on his feet."
"Have you talked to Adrian at all?"
"Yeah, we keep in touch. He's been really busy with work lately. His partner up and disappeared a few days ago and no one's been able to reach him." The phone slipped from my limp fingers, landing with a crash upon the floor. Fear leapt into my bones with frightening speed as I thought back over the last few days. Could it have been him? Could my step-dad be here in Texas? All this time I'd thought I was overreacting, but what if I wasn't? What if he was here, watching me?
Looking out the window, my eyes darted back and forth, looking for my step-dad's figure. The feeling of being watched crept over me and I felt like my skin was crawling with ants.
A buzzing noise, migrated up from the floor, turning me away from my fear. Picking up my phone, I brought it back up to my ear, trying to steady my hand.
"Rose. Rose, are you okay?"
I took a deep breath and focused on making my voice come out clear. "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, I dropped my phone." I could hear Zoey's sigh of relief on the other end of the line. "Look Zoey, I gotta go. I'll call you back later."
I hung up the phone. If Zoey wasn't already suspicious my abrupt goodbye had certainly done the trick. I couldn't worry about that right now though. I had other things to worry about. Like the fact that my step-dad may be down here in Texas. What the hell would he be doing down here anyways? He had said he would leave me alone. So why was he following me? Realizing that I was jumping to conclusions I tried to think over this rationally. He may not be down here at all. It could just be my PTSD talking. And if it was then I had to fight it. I refused to go about living my life in constant fear. It was impractical, and frankly tiring.
I was tired of being afraid.
I felt my back straighten slightly, and my hands stopped trembling. I would not live in fear, not anymore.
The next morning while I sat in my studio, I decided to paint. I had done a lot of drawing over the past two weeks, but had yet to truly sit down and paint. Ruffling through the drawers and cabinets I let out a frustrated sigh. No paint. I'd have to make a quick stop into town to pick some up. Stopping in my room to grab my purse and shrug on a jacket, I headed down the stairs. In the kitchen I found my aunt.
"I'm headed into town for a while, mind if I take the truck?" She smiled and tossed me the keys.
"Sure, could you pick me up some groceries while you're there. We're running low on a few things."
"No problem."
"Thank you, dear. Just let me write you up a list." Spinning around the kitchen, she searched for a pen and paper. I waited patiently while she wrote up a list. I gave my aunt a hug before I headed out the door.
Parking in town was a hassle and I ended up having to walk three blocks until I finally reached the craft store. Picking out my paints, I couldn't help but smile. I hadn't been able to paint since high school. I could practically feel my fingers itching to get my hands on a paintbrush.
After paying for my things at the register, I walked out of the store with my bags. The hair on my neck stood on end as I felt eyes watching me. Shaking off the feeling, I tried to calm my racing heartbeat. Walking swiftly down the street I headed back to my car. If I could just get to the car I would feel safe. My footsteps quickened as I walked down a side street. The shops were eerily silent and the absence of people sent fear flitting through my chest.
A hand clapped over my mouth from the side, dragging me into a side alley. I tried to scream but only muffled sounds escaped past the hand that was held over my lips. God, this couldn't be happening. The devil had come for me again. And this time I knew that there was no possibility of rescue.
So, a cliffhanger (does evil laugh)! It feels so good to be writing again. Tell me what you guys think is gonna happen next!
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