It's been not even forty minutes but it feels like hours. My shoulders ache in pain no matter what position I put them in. I had been left alone in my room, tied up with Calum's silver strands of hair that I had cut off a while back in his Kingdom. It's creepy to think that he may have planned to tie me up with his hair long before I had even cut it. He also kept the hair when coming back to Theruma!
I can't concentrate on this new pain forming in my neck when thoughts of my Mother form in my head. How is he going to murder someone this time? He can't get away with it when they are having dinner unless he poisons her too. No! Mom please be smarter than you have been and get away!
My Mother has been on Calum's side ever since the ball she threw for me to find a husband. This is all my fault. I should have never agreed to marry him and should have accepted the consequences of leaving my kingdom. He had no real proof of me being in his Kingdom other than the sorcerer and maybe a few people but I could have persuaded my people into not believing him. This is all wrong. Once my Mother is gone, it will only be me and Calum.
Oh God. Only me and Calum. What would he ask of me when I can't refuse him anymore? I can not longer run to my Mother or Yumi for help or conversation anymore. I have nobody left except for the maids and servants that I had barely spoken to. The thought of us alone together for the rest of our lives scares me.
The door to my room is unlocked and I quickly turn my head to see Calum walk in the room. He locks back the door and smirks at me from where he stands. There is a plate of food in his hands. He goes over to the wardrobe that had been put into my room for Calum's things when he starts moving in and takes out some pants to use as sleepwear and starts to take off his clothes in front of me after setting down the plate. Even though we had both already seen each other naked, it doesn't mean that I am comfortable looking at him naked all the time. I look at the wall to distract myself and he notices my embarrassment. As much as I would like to look at him to see is I can spot any blood, I don't want him taking off his pants and smirking at me.
"My Love, why won't you look at me?" He asks with a soft voice.
"Because you killed my Mother." I say with disgust. My voice must have returned after some time had passed but I didn't notice.
He is done changing and only wears clothes on the lower half of his body. He grabs the plate of food and walks to my side of the bed and sets it down on the bedside table. His hands outstretch under my torso to get me into a sitting position on my bed. I wince in pain as my arms move up with my body. "I did not kill your Mother, Y/N." He sounds serious as he speaks. When he says my name instead of 'my love' or 'my queen,' he means business. "I simply wanted to scare you into thinking that I would. I need you to know that if you disobey me than there will be consequences."
My hearts beats fast when I hear that my Mother is safe. But would he really kill her if I slip up once? "What did you do in that hour then?" I ask him suspiciously. If he wasn't plotting against my Mother, what was he doing?
Calum grabs the fork and knife on the plate and glances up at me. I don't like the sight of him holding the knife in his right hand at all. "I simply went down to eat dinner with your Mother. She is worried about you." He cuts a small piece of chicken and stabs it with the fork. I watch as he brings it up to me. Is he going to feed me? Surely he could just untie me and let me do it myself.
"You were eating with her for an hour?" I ask. My Mother is a busy woman, she wouldn't chat with him that long if she was so worried about me.
"I took a walk around the place and went back into the kitchen to fetch you a plate of food. Now open." He says. The fork is at my lips and I can smell all the delicious aroma of spices filling my nose. I comply and open my mouth to welcome the nutrients I haven't got today besides breakfast. I let my eyes close as I enjoy the flavors and open them back to see Calum frowning. "Now you are obedient? That's a shame." He cuts off another piece and brings it to me. "I wanted to feed you myself."
"Aren't you already feeding me?" I say as I eat the next bite. He smirks and glances over to the water that was on the table. He lets the silverware clink on the plate and reaches out for the water. I am not thirsty and slightly disappointed that I can't have another bite of food. He brings the cup to my lips but before I could drink anything, he pulls it back from me and takes a drink himself. My brows furrow in confusion as to why he would do this. The cup is brought back to the table and his face immediately thrown my way. His hands hold my head in place and his lips lock on mine. The liquid transfers from his mouth to mine easily. The water fills my mouth and I want to spit it out. He keeps our lips locked until I swallow it and he pulls away. A satisfied smirk plays on his lips as he looks at me.
"Now do you know what I meant?" He asks. I nod my head. He was hoping that I would go against him feeding me so that he could feed me mouth to mouth. That's beyond gross. He continues to feed me until I am done with the whole plate, with the fork thank God.
Once I was done, he set the plate aside and let me drink the water myself. He then shut off the lights and went to the other side of the bed. I can already feel that it is going to be another sleepless night. He turns to me and smiles at my bound form and I frown. "Do you wish to be free, my Love?"
I eagerly nod my head. He laughs and climbs on top of me. His eyes glow in the dark so he can find where he had tied his hair and takes the knife from the plate. He carefully cuts away at the hair so that he doesn't puncture my skin by accident. "Such a shame that I can't keep you tied up like this." He says as I am almost free. "Seeing you even more helpless than you already are." He laughs with a smirk and looks down at me. "If I didn't love you as much as I did, I would lock you up. Or maybe, if I loved you more I would lock you up?" He ponders on this and stops cutting the hair away. I move a little to catch his attention and he comes back to his senses and frees me. My hands fall and I bring them to my chest. My neck and shoulders are burning when I move it and Calum watches me carefully. He gets off of me and lays down while still staring at me. I lay down and face him. His eyes fade in color and his droop a little. "Why do I love you so much?" He is questioning why he loves me now? I don't know how to answer him on that because I am still trying to figure that out.
"You tell me." I respond. He buries his face into the pillow and sighs. "This wasn't supposed to happen." If I remember correctly, he didn't originally intend to love me or marry me. He just wanted to get Yumi and save his mother. He said his plans changed when he got to know me. He looks at me again and pushes me closer to him. I am still sore but the warmth of him makes it feel a little better. "But it happened and I'm never letting you go." He seems confused as to why he is obsessive over me and I'm glad. Maybe he will keep questioning his actions and start to act like a normal human being. "Never leave me, Y/N."
I am squeezed tighter into his chest and my back starts to ache again at the pressure. I wince at the pain and he lets me go and sits up from the bed. He flips me over so I am laying on my stomach and my head is turned to the right side to stay comfortable and not get smothered by the pillow. My back and neck aches more at this and my arms are at my sides with my hands on either side of my head. I feel Calum climb on me and he puts his hand on my lower back. I flinch again, afraid that he is going to hurt me.
Calum moves his hands in small circles on my back and presses down on my muscles. He travels upwards until he hits the sore spots on my upper back. I flinch again at his touch but relax as his thumbs glide over my muscles. He massages me for a while before I can mentally relax also with physically.
There is something very odd about him. He seems extremely dedicated to me and will do anything to keep me with him. Could I use this as a way to get him to do what I want? I could use his love for me as a form of manipulation for myself. Would he fall for it though? If there is truly no way of escaping him, I could make him into my own little puppet and make him do my bidding while also thinking that he is making these decisions for himself. I need to test this out.
"Calum?" I hesitantly ask him.
"Yes, my love?" He responds from behind me.
"Could you massage my neck too?" I ask.
He laughs and moves to my neck, "Of course, but with a price."
I should have seen that. He won't be that easy to crack because he is still thinking about himself in the grand scheme of things. Speaking of the bigger picture, how far has he thought out? "What is your price? Do you want me to return the favor?"
"Not exactly. I want a kiss." He says slowly. Is that seriously what he wants? "And I want you to tell me that you will stay with me forever." Of course..
"What if I refuse?" I decide to ask this but I'm afraid that he will get mad again.
"You can't." He leans his head down to mine. "Kiss."
I sit up slightly with my elbows on the bed and give him a kiss. "Now speak." He orders me.
I feel that if I say what he wants me to say, I'll be sealing my fate with him. If I can't manipulate his love for me easily, then what else could I do to salvage this situation? The Sorcerer once told me that the way out is to manipulate my way out after gaining control of my body again. It's too late for that. Then next is to give in and be with him and make the best of the relationship: I want this as last resort. The last is for me to kill him.
Could I kill him? That will be extremely hard to pull off and I can't do it on my own. He doesn't let me leave his side without supervision so I won't be able to do anything. What if I just give up and kill myself? That would probably be a death wish for my Kingdom. He might completely lose it and destroy everything. There is no way he could rule both kingdoms alone and my Mother would probably suffer anxiety. Would he even survive without me? Surely he could but his mental state without me is poor. Would he kill himself after he found out I died? Would he forget about me and choose another bride in my place?
I don't want to think about that. I feel a pang of jealousy imagining Calum with another woman. As much as I'd hate to admit it, I would rather him be with me than anyone else. Calum is mine. Whoah, what is this feeling? Is this how Calum feels about me? "I'll stay with you forever." I finally say. I'll stay with him because I have no other choice.
I need peace which doesn't involve Calum in my life. He has manipulated, tricked, hurt, defamed, and done so much to me and my people and I can't take any more. His mood swings go from tearing my world apart and back to being a loving husband who cares about me. What type of person do you have to be to have this type of personality? As much as my heart wants to stay with him because I am blinded by love, my logical brain is screaming for me to escape. This isn't going to be easy and it may hurt a lot of people in the process, but I have never once been allowed to be selfish. My only way out is with blood. If I can't kill Calum, I'll kill myself.