The fleeting memories of his dreams had been the second thing Steve noticed upon waking up. He couldn't even begin to guess when he'd dreamed last, and he knew for a fact that he had never felt so rested before. Which brought him to the first thing he noticed: he wasn't alone in bed. He was wrapped in another person's embrace, with said person's arm securing him in a tight hold that he realized...he didn't really want to leave. He felt safe, like he didn't need to worry about anything ever again and all was going right in the world.
He knew the person was Bucky. They'd talked about it while getting ready for bed the previous night after their date...which had turned into an all-day event. Steve couldn't complain. He was getting a kick out of how seriously Bucky was taking his new role, even having gone to the extent of buying Steve a bouquet of roses which had been dramatically presented to him while Bucky got down on one knee and began to "confess" his undying love for him. They had laughed until their chests hurt, and as a 'thank you' to his amazing boyfriend, Steve had boldly kissed him on the lips, brief but meaningful.
He could feel each of Bucky's breaths against the back of his neck, warm and gentle. He felt himself sink into the feeling as he drifted back to sleep, wanting to put the world on pause so he could enjoy the moment for as long as possible. Just because he liked being held did not make him gay. He was still straight as he's ever been, and so far all he knew was that Tony would be sending a large sum of money into his bank account by the end of the week.
"Baby, hey. It's time to get up, doll."
Steve groaned, not realizing he'd fallen back asleep. He was no longer wrapped in Bucky's arms, instead opening his eyes to see the brunette looming over him, a sweet smile on his face.
Sweet? Come on, Rogers, get your head back on track. Straight guys do not call other men 'sweet'.
"You with me baby?"
"Bucky..." Steve could only groan, blinking up at the other man tiredly. He had never been a morning person. Never was, never would be. He attempted to roll over onto his other side in hopes of falling back asleep but Bucky was quick to put a stop to that, insisting that once he got up and moving he'd be wide awake.
"Once I get a cup of coffee I'll be wide awake," he retorted, reluctantly dragging himself out of bed as he followed Bucky to the kitchen.
"I was thinking we go out for lunch in about an hour or so. There's a cute cafe right outside the hotel that the concierge was telling me about," Bucky explained while pouring coffee into Steve's mug before doing the same for his own. "Thought we could go check it out. What do you think?"
Steve gratefully took the mug from Bucky, pulling it close to his face as he breathed in the rich scent. "Yeah, sure, but uh..." He rubbed his eyes, the heavy fog of sleep finally beginning to wear off. "Doesn't breakfast come first?"
"It's 11:00 am, Steve." Bucky walked around the counter, letting out a sigh as he sat down beside him. "Did you give Tony your update last night?"
How had he managed to sleep so long? Steve frowned, thinking back to the night before. "I think so," He murmured, already pulling out his phone to check. Tony had asked that at the end of each day Steve send him a short update on where he was with his sexuality. "So far nothing's changed," he read aloud, glancing up at Bucky whose face was expressionless. "Still as straight as ever and looking forward to you paying for my wedding."
Bucky cleared his throat, nodding as he quickly stood up. "Good."
The brunette set his coffee down, seeming to have changed with a flick of a switch. "I'm going to go get ready," he explained quickly. "I'll try not to use all the hot water when I shower." He flashed one of his signature smirks towards Steve before turning around and making his way into the bathroom. Steve knew better, though. It was just a mask. Something to give the illusion that everything was okay when everything was not. He was preparing to follow him when the soft sound of the door shutting warned him away, followed by the 'click' of the lock telling him something was very wrong.
What had he missed?
***
"So far nothing's changed, still as straight as ever and looking forward to you paying for my wedding."
Steve glanced up at Bucky, looking for approval and Bucky just...He didn't have it in him. His heart had shattered at those words, falling into a deep abyss of sadness. He was heartbroken.
"Good," he forced out, his hands shaking so he quickly set down the mug, knowing he was on the verge of tears. There was no way Steve could ever see him like this. "I'm going to go get ready," the words came out in a rush as he felt the tears start to slip, and knowing he had to do damage control before this got out of hand. Time to put on the mask. "I'll try not to use all the hot water when I shower," he added, a well-practiced smirk appearing on his face. It had become second nature at this point.
It's important to always look your best when you feel your worst. He'd heard that on a show at some point. Probably Political Animals. That sounded like something a Hammond would say.
He didn't give Steve the option to follow, closing the door and locking it after only a moment's hesitation. Little did Steve know, he'd taken a shower earlier that morning while the blonde was still asleep. Either way, he turned the shower on before sliding down against the wall and began to sob. He was so, so in love with this man it was killing him. He was digging himself into such a deep hole that there was no way he'd be able to make it out unharmed. He had already confessed his love for him, having gotten down on one knee and told him everything he was feeling.
It had only been seen as an act to Steve.
"I've been in love with you since we were kids," Bucky had said while holding out the dozen red roses to Steve.
It felt like a punch to the gut when Steve had cracked up laughing, but he had to play his part. He laughed, too.
Steve had kissed him.
That had been the moment Bucky started getting his hopes up.
"You make every single day worth living. You gave me a reason to fight." Bucky had taken Steve's hand, dramatically kissing each knuckle in turn. Bucky had had nothing left. He was simply a wounded soldier with PTSD, without a road leading to anywhere, and Steve had changed that. He'd brought the sun back into Bucky's lightless life.
He knew he needed to cut the bet off, to give him even a chance at recovering. Steve needed that money for the wedding, though, and Bucky wouldn't take that away from him.
So he sat there in the corner of the bathroom and let the tears stream down his face, praying that the sound of the shower would drown out his sobs.
***
Steve took the time that Bucky was in the shower to find an outfit. He hadn't brought anything to wear from his house, so he'd been borrowing the other man's clothes.
For once they actually fit.
He let out a sigh, crouching down beside Bucky's suitcase as he rifled through the bag, looking for something suitable to wear for lunch down at the cafe. He chose a simple blue button-down shirt along with a nice pair of jeans, just in time for the sound of the shower to shut off. Bucky usually took long showers. Even after all these years his minimum still seemed to be at least twenty minutes. "You trying to break some records or something?" Steve called over to the bathroom where he could hear Bucky shuffling around. There was no reply.
A moment later the bathroom door swung open to reveal a shirtless Bucky, hair wet and towel wrapped tightly around his hips. A soft gasp escaped from his lips as he stared at the man in front of him, skin shiny with droplets of water cascading down his chest, and for a moment Steve forgot how to breathe. "All yours," the brunette announced casually, nodding his head towards the shower.
Right. It was his turn to take a shower. Steve snapped into action, nodding as he stood up and quickly exited the room hoping Bucky hadn't noticed.
But what had there been to notice? He argued with himself as he walked into the bathroom, turning to look at himself in the mirror.
Suddenly it hit him. The mirror wasn't even the least bit fogged up, and Steve knew that Bucky hated cold water. Had he even showered in the first place?
Deciding to worry about it later, Steve turned the shower faucet on and got into the shower.
***
They made their way down to the cafe, walking hand in hand. Bucky had seemed to be back to normal though Steve could tell something was still a bit off. "Hey," he murmured softly into the other man's ear, hesitating a moment before placing a gentle kiss against his temple. He still needed to get over the awkward barrier of 'a straight man kissing another guy for the sake of a bet,' though he figured he's just address that later. "Everything okay?"
Bucky blinked, seeming to have been lost in his own thoughts before he quickly nodded, allowing Steve to pull him in closer while they continued walking towards the restaurant.
After a moment, a thought struck Steve and he couldn't help but watch Bucky while they ordered their food and then walked over to sit down in a booth. "Bucky, is this..." Steve swallowed uneasily, feeling a wave of guilt sweep over him. "Is this too weird for you? I'm so sorry, I should have been checking in with you along the way, if you want to back out you can, i won't mind, I-"
"Steve. Stop." Bucky let out an amused laugh, leaning back against his seat. "It isn't too weird. If it was i'd tell you. Plus i love spending time with you."
Steve released a breath of relief, feeling as if a giant weight had been lifted off his shoulders. "Well i'd rather be doing this with my best friend then anyone else."
He didn't see the look of sadness that passed briefly over Bucky's face.
"Oh? So i'm your best friend again, huh?" Bucky laughed, eyes crinkling up in that way of his, and Steve found out he loved that about the brunette. "I was afraid Sam had replaced me."
"You kidding? Sam may be my partner in crime, but..." Steve shook his head, knowing he was about to start spewing a bunch of emotional shit. "You and me pal, we've gone to hell and back. You've saved my ass more times then i can count, been there for me when the going got rough..." He met Bucky's gaze, feeling his heart beat quicken. "Dragged me along on all those double dates," He added, laughing in amusement as Bucky rolled his eyes. "not to mention when you made me ride the cyclone-"
"And you threw up," Bucky interjected with a laugh. "This bet isn't payback, is it?"
Steve smirked. "Now why would I do that?"
The real questions is did the sound of his voice always send shivers up my spine?
"The point is," He continued. "After all of that how could you not be my best friend? Honestly i don't even think best friend covers it anymore. Whatever we have...That's something more.
"Well look who it is," A voice called from behind them, and suddenly Steve froze, eyes growing wide as he felt Bucky stiffen beside them, as none other then Sharon Carter walked up.
***
Bucky felt panic taking over his body, a million thoughts going through his head as to why Sharon fucking Carter was here. Sure, they'd grown up together in the same neighborhood, but Bucky and Steve had always been so much closer with her sister, Peggy. "Sharon," He greeted, hoping his tone was light enough so it didn't reflect the amount of jealousy and fear he was feeling towards her. Steve's fiance of all people, who just happened to be the last person Bucky ever wanted to see again. This was the woman who was taking Steve out of his life. The person who was the ultimate source of his heartbroken state. "It's been awhile."
"It has, hasn't it? I didn't even know you were back!" Sharon smiled sweetly at him before turning to Steve, a look of confusion written across her face. "So this is that business trip you were referring to? A week hiding out with Bucky?" She let out an exasperated sigh, moving forward to let Steve wrap her in a hug, squeezing him back.
Bucky watched them intently, unable to understand why they'd hugged. Not even a kiss on the cheek. Was this relationship even love?
"Well if i told you the truth, you'd probably demand a divorce before we even got married." Bucky could tell it was all said in good humor, though at the same time he could tell Steve hadn't been kidding as much as it may have seemed.
Sharon held his gaze before glancing over that Bucky who only offered her a small shrug. He felt nothing but anger towards her, though he didn't want to hate her. She was a good person who had ever right to marry Steve. He just wished Steve loved him instead.
Steve sighed, rubbing his temples while seeming to be having a mental debate with himself about whether or not to tell Sharon. Finally after several long moments he gave a small nod, motioning for her to sit down. To Bucky's surprise however, Steve chose to sit down beside him instead, facing Sharon from across the booth.
"Steve...?" Sharon stared at him, studying and analyzing each and every move he made. Please tell me what's going on..."
Bucky quickly caught Steve's glance and saw his eyes were full of uncertainty. As if on instinct Bucky grabbed Steve's hand under the table, interlacing their fingers and pulling it to rest over his thigh.
The gesture seemed to visibly calm Steve, as he immediately let out a breath, nodding before facing Sharon.
She was the wolf; Steve was the sheep. The question was: would the sheep get eaten, or would it have another chance at survival?
"A few weeks before my bachelor party," Steve began, tightening his grip on Bucky's hand. "I made... I made a bet with Tony. I know now it was Stupid. I realize that, now."
Bucky wasn't sure how much more pain he could take.
"I was worried about money and Tony kept pushing it..."
Steve was stalling.
"Steve, please just tell me."
Bucky could tell that Sharon's confusion was slowly turning into anger. He could tell by the fire that was burning in the depths of her brown orbs. Maybe the fire was there, may it was an allusion only he could see.
And maybe she wasn't the wolf after all. Maybe she was the mountain lion.
Steve, the cornered sheep, turned to glance at Bucky, a pleading look asking him to continue. He nodded. Of course he would. He would do anything for this man.
"Tony think's Steve's gay," Bucky stated simply, holding Sharon's gaze. At his words he felt Steve quickly tug his hand free from his grasp, though as much as it felt like a scalding knife being seared into his heart, he continued on. "The bet was: Steve had to go for a week, pretending to date someone from his bachelor party and... he chose me. When it's all over and Steve is still convinced he's straight-"
"-Stark agreed to pay for the wedding." Steve finished, a hopeful look on his face.
What was the mountain lion going to do?"
"Please understand," Steve begged.
"You son of a bitch."
The mountain lion had chosen to strike.
Steve was left staring after her as Sharon got up, storming out of the cafe. The look that blazed in her eyes was a look that could kill, and Steve was left looking like he'd physically been slapped. His gaze was unfocused, lips parted slightly as he slowly tried to process what had just happened. And then the tears had started to flow. "Oh, baby..." Bucky hadn't meant for the name to slip, though it did and there was nothing he could do about it now.
He expected Steve to be upset about it, knowing this wasn't the time to be worrying about the bet, but instead Steve turned to him, pulling him close as he began to cry into his shoulder.
"Shh... Baby it's going to be okay." He gently kissed Steve on his forehead, running a hand through his blond hair before taking his thumb and wiping the tears off his face.
"Bucky," Steve suddenly gasped, pulling back to meet his gaze.
And then Steve did the last thing Bucky would have ever expected.
He surged forward, locking their lips together in a bruising kiss. Deep and passionate, kissing him like the world was ending and this was how he'd chosen to spend his last few moments.
All at once time seemed to slow down, passing by in slow motion, and Bucky could do nothing but kiss back with everything he had, letting his love for Steve spiraled out of reach.