It was now the middle of July, things were settling down slowly. We still haven't met the Alpha, but Jonathan and Shirley decided, that we might do it this weekend, when all their other kids finally arrive for their spring break. Shirley is organizing a family dinner, a couple of other people invited as well, mostly the ones I know, like Hannah, Lena and Doc Evans, and I am very excited. If the son's are as awesome as their parents, than the dinner would be a pleasant experience. After that if everything is fine with the most important part of the pack, I would get invited to a pack gathering and get accepted officially. For now everybody thinks, that I'm here just for a visit of sorts, even though Doc Evans gave me the job, which means that I'm staying for way longer, but anyway, as long as I'm not accepted, I'm visiting. Although it's not a common practice to accept a human into a werewolf pack, Jonathan reassured me that it would be ok.
Me and Lena are getting pretty close, I feel that we are becoming friends, and it's nice to have someone closer to my age to hang out with. Don't get me wrong, Hannah, Doc Evans, Jonathan and Shirley are awesome, but they are more like family to me, and I could really use a friend. Sometimes she comes by our place to hang out with all of us, sometimes we meet up in town for lunch or dinner. This time was similar - it was a Sunday afternoon, the weather was excruciatingly hot, I was sitting on the swing in our backyard (fortunately the swing was in the shadow), thinking about everything and nothing, trying to create some wind with a newspaper.
Lena appeared out of the woods wearing a loose t-shirt and tiny shorts, I figured she ran to here in her wolf form.
"Giiiiirl, why so gloomy! You look like cheese in a microwave", she danced my way, laughing at my appearances. I indeed looked like melted cheese, but can you blame me? It was hot outside, I was pregnant and decomposing of boredom.
"Yeah, I know. A bowl of melted ice cream looks more appealing then me right now, right?", I smirked her way. She laughed brightly and sat on the swing next to me.
"I would use some ice cream now, wanna go to the diner and devour some banana split?", Lena loved ice cream, and right now the thought of a air conditioned space was very appealing to me.
"Oh, yes, a wise thought, my furry friend!", I smirked again and Lena giggled at that.
"You're playing with fire here, we, wolfs, are proud creatures, you should treat us with respect!", she said in an extremely exaggerated tone. "I should decapitate you!" She jumped off the swing and pretended to take out a sword and wave it in the air. I burst out laughing like crazy.
"Ahhaaaa, you are hilarious!", I laughed so hard, that I had to put my hands on my belly, and Lena seemed satisfied with her performance.
"Ok, jokes aside, ice cream awaits! Go change and let's go!", she commanded, I looked at her confused.
"Change? Why? I'm comfortable like that.", I said, but then decided to use my puppy eyes, "Am I not good enough for you? Are you ashamed of me?", my lower lip started to tremble, thank you mother for making me take a drama class in school. The look on Lena's face was precious - she got that guilty expression and lost her words for a moment. Soon enough she realized, that I was playing her and laughed out loud again.
"You don't fool me, human!", she squeaked through laughter. "But seriously", she said after calming down, "You will melt even more in those jeans, don't you have a dress or shorts? Something more suitable for the weather?"
I looked down on my dark green yoga pants and my mood became a bit gloomier.
"Nope. I have an ugly gash on my thigh, don't want anyone staring.", I said quietly but calmly. Lena's eyebrows furrowed and she sat next to me once again.
"Ems, you're in a pack of wolfs, almost everyone here has scars, no one will notice yours.", she spoke in a serious tone, "And even if they do notice, they will not stare, not judge or think it's disgusting, it's just a scar, no need to feel self conscious. Trust me."
"Well, that doesn't change a thing, since I don't have any shorts at all, so not changing, I win!", I winked at her, trying to lighten the mood, than hopped of the swing landing on my good leg, grabbed my cane and confidently limped towards the car. When I realized, she wasn't following me, I turned around and with a devilish grin said: "Well? You coming or am I having the split all to myself?" The possibility of me not sharing an ice cream seemed so scary, that she instantly stood up and sprinted to the car at the speed of light screaming: "Dibs on the cherries!"
I just laughed at her and swaying my head at her silliness followed.
When we entered the diner it was similar to diving in a cool lake after being burned on the stake - like heaven! We stood a couple of seconds under the conditioner just enjoying a cool breeze with goofy smiles on our faces and moaning in pleasure, until we heard Hannah laugh:
"Oh I now my cooking is heaven, but I've never heard any one moaning before they actually tasted it!", she was teasing, that's what she was doing.
"We'll be moaning more, if you share some banana split with us!", Lena demanded.
"Well look at you, all demanding!", Hannah snorted and pointed us towards a free booth. Giggling like teenagers me and Lena sat and relaxed in our seats. Soon enough Hannah brought us our split and we wasted no time digging in.
"Sooooo...", I decided to start a somewhat girly conversation and gave Lena a teasing smile. "Is there someone special on the horizon?" I thought Lena would laugh and joke, as she usually does in every situation, but much to my surprise a slight blush appeared on her cheeks.
"No, I'm waiting for my mate...", she said quietly. My teasing smile turned into a gentle one, it was a familiar intention to me, to wait for your one and only.
"Oh, Jonathan and Shirley mentioned something about mates, I gathered it's like a prince charming or something", I encouraged her to explain. Lena didn't disappoint me and started talking.
"Well, it's a bit more complicated than that. A mate is not just the prince charming, it's so much more. We, wolfs, are pretty serious about mates, hell, half of the town are virgins for that reason!", she whisper yelled the last part, because obviously talking about things as intimate as your "V" was a bit embarrassing.
"Really?!" I replied amazed. And I truly was. Even though I was raised as a perfect example of a good girl with saving my self for my future husband, not everyone in our town followed the rules of god, if you must call it that. No one spoke about having sex, but everyone did that. Except for me. See where it got me?
The blush on Lena's face increased, but she continued talking:
"Yeah. I mean why not? Our wolfs would get crazy just from the thought of another male or female's touch on our mate, even if it was in the past. The idea of a mate is treated with respect and it's only logical to be pure, all in all being with your moon goddess chosen mate is the best feeling a wolf can experience! As they say, the connection of your souls is pure bliss and the sex, I can only imagine the intensity and the passion..." I laughed at that last statement, because her facial expression became dreamy as she rose her eyes to the ceiling and she has bit her lower lip as if having a kinky fantasy.
"I understand the idea of saving yourself, that's how I was raised.", I agreed with her with a small smile. "Didn't work out for me, as you can see", I said pointing at my stomach with a sarcastic grin. Her eyes traveled back to me and she became serious.
"So, if we're talking, what happened to the daddy?"
I didn't really know what to say to her. I know that I was the one who initiated this conversation, although my last statement slipped out by accident. I guess somewhere deep inside I knew, that it would be good to share my ocean of despair with someone, who might believe me and comfort me, but I was also scared. I was scared to see pity in her eyes, or for her to become disappointed in me. I was weak and stupid. If I were more clever and cautious, nothing would happen that night. If I were stronger and knew how to defend myself, nothing would happen. I guess I bought it upon myself. I should have been better.
"Let's just say, things didn't went as planned and he is not in the picture now and hopefully never, ok?" I said quietly. "Don't get me wrong, I love my baby, but I wish I could get married and be as I were supposed to be and live happily ever after." My eyes watered a bit and I averted my gaze to the window, staring through the people that lazily wondered in the streets of the melting town. I felt Lena putting her hand on top of mine, and I turned my head towards her. Her eyes held sympathy but also love?
"Well, you can't do anything now, so what's the point in dwelling on the past? You'll have a wonderful baby, and I'm sure, you'll find someone, who'll love you and your child." she said to me, and I saw, that she believed in her own words.
"Lena thank you, but I'm not even sure, if I want a man in my life. And even if I did, I live in a town full of were's, that all live for their mate and I don't really fit in to this picture. I realize, that it I stay, it will be me and the little one, and believe it or not, I'm ok with that."
She looked at me confused, but didn't say a word to persuade me in something opposite of what I have chosen for myself. I get that accepting a life of loneliness sounds crazy, but in reality the thought of a man touching me in THAT was was repulsive to me. My rational side understood that it was instinctual reaction, that not every man was bad and so on, but my body... my body remembered everything. That is not something that goes away easily.
"Let's change the topic?", I said with a small smile and than clapped my hands to my knees in fake excitement. "Anyway..." I changed the topic to something less meaningful, but my mind stayed on this mate thing - boy, were they lucky... I doubt that humans had this kind of love, and considering what I have witnessed in Jonathan and Shirley's relationships, I doubt I would ever stumble on something like that. A ping of jealousy struck my heart and as much as I tried to shrug it off, I couldn't.