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CHAPTER FOUR :
I was walking with Becca and Austie down the hall to first hour and I could barely walk straight, that was how tired I was.
"Fudge, Kailynn, how long did you freakin' stay up last night? Jeez," Austie said, laughing at me.
"Uh, I don't really know. I got barely any sleep, though. I was pretty much thinking all of last night," I replied. Which wasn't a lie, I WAS thinking. But thinking about how Ethan is alive, not dead.
"Oh," was all that she said. I could tell she didn't want to say anymore because she knew what happened to Ethan, and how his body went missing.
"Well, let's hope that Mr. Gaybird won't be too hard on you today. He should know what happened, so don't worry, you don't need to look so nervous!" Becca told me as we walked into the classroom. I looked nervous? Crap, and I thought I was hiding my emotions well . . . Okay, our teacher had a real name, but we barely ever used it. It's really long and ends in "bird" so we just call him "Gaybird" or "Hey You." It works pretty well.
And, yeah, he's gay, but he won't admit it. He says he was a wife, but he changes her name everyday, so I really doubt he has one. And he also says he rides a bike to school. It's like he thinks that makes him cool? Uh, no. We all see his car, anyways.
Before we walked in the room, I was sure people were talking normally, but as soon as the kids saw me they all shut up and looked uncomfortable. Well, I guess they heard, obviously. Oh, this is gonna be fun, I thought miserably.
I sat down in my seat and tried not to think about the empty seat next to me that used to be Ethan's. I guess he really can't come back to school since he's dead. Or un-dead. Or . . . whatever.
The bell rang and Mr. Gaybird walked in and told the class to open up their books to some page. I did as he said.
"This will be the last section that we read before school ends next week." Holy crap, I totally forgot we only had one more week of school! Awesome. One thing to look forward to. Then he started reading about this old guy that died a hundred year ago, so I tuned out. Class went by as usual, except for a few things. One, Mr. Gaybird didn't call on me once, even though he usually loves to pick on me because I don't like to read or answer questions (he even calls me K-Dog). And two, the room was unusually quiet, but I could hear two words whispered throughout the whole classroom. Ethan and Kailynn. Great, so now they were talking about us.
After the bell rang I went to my locker and got my math book. None of my friends were in my math class, which sucks. But my math teacher is really cool, so I didn't think I had to worry.
That class was normal, too (well, besides the no calling on me and the whispering).
Before I knew it, it was lunch time. I made it through half of the day and nothing horrible has happened.
I was on my way to the cafeteria when I heard the secretaries voice come on the
intercom. "Kailynn Cross please report to the principles office. Kailynn Cross to the principles office." Oh, perfect, I thought. I wonder what this is about. A few people looked at me while I walked to the office but most averted their eyes.
When I got into the office I went up to the desk and asked why I was needed. The secretary pointed to the counselers office. Um, okay? I walked down the hall the to office and saw that the door was cracked so instead of knocking I just went in. The office was the same as the last time I was here.
Yes, as you may be wondering, I have been here before. More than one time. It was because a few monthes ago Mom and Dad kept getting into arguments and fighting and I guess it was 'interfering' with my grades and crap, so I ended up here, talking about my 'feelings' and stuff. Miss Shilling (the counseler) was really perky and annoying. I didn't like her much, so I made sure to act okay around her, because I didn't want her to worry and call me down here more often.
"Hi, Miss Shilling," I said as I sat down in a chair in front of her desk.
Miss Shilling was writing on a piece of paper when I came in and I guess she didn't notice me come in and she jumped. Uh, hello woman, you just called me here, why are you acting all surprised?
"Oh, hey Kailynn, how has your day been going?" she asked.
"Oh, you know . . . fine. I guess."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah? . . ."
"Are you sure?" I had no idea what she was getting at, but I should have known.
"I'm pretty sure." I said nodding my head.
"I've been seeing you around and you seem pretty . . . normal. I mean, considering that your boyfriend just died, I would have thought you would have seemed . . . I don't know, a little sad, maybe?"
Uh . . . way to be blunt there, Miss. "Okay. I really should be getting to lunch, you know," I said, starting to get up, but her voice made me sit down again. Ugh.
"I think you're in denial."
"What?!"
"Denial, it means--"
"I know what it means! Why would you think I'm in denial? I know what happened. I know perfectly. More than you. I was there when the doctors told us. I was the last person who saw him before he got hit. I SHOULD know, and I do." I was getting really worked up, I guess I'm kind of touchy today.
"Okay, Kailynn, I'm just saying. I think you should talk to someone about how you're feeling and try to get your emotions out. It must be pretty hard."
"I KNOW that. That's the only advice you ever give. 'Talk to someone.' 'Get your emotions out.' I'm sorry, but I don't need to get my emotions out right now because I'm fine. I really need to go because I'm starving and I have a headache and I'm not in the best of moods, as you can tell. So, please, can I just go now?"
"Yes, you may. But I'll check on you on Monday."
"Fine. Bye," I said over my shoulder while practically running out the door. Jeesh, she gets on my nerves. It's like she thinks that's her job. . . . Oh, wait . . . it is her job.
***
I got to lunch and got my food and sat at my usual table. It was me and a bunch of kids including my best friends Becca, Austie, Elizabeth, Haley, and Jaimie. The other people were my friends I just didn't talk to or hang out with them as much. They asked me what that was all about and I just told them that they found my book that I lost a few days ago. I lied because I didn't want to get into the counseler thing. They didn't know I went to the counseler the other times, either. I didn't want them to become involved in the drama, even though I knew they probably could have helped me . . .
I barely talked the rest of the day. Nothing else happened. My friends looked at me every chance they could with worried expressions on their face. I found myself wondering why at one point, and then realized, uh duh, they think my boyfriend just died. Well, he did, but then he came back, and this is all too confusing and I'm gonna stop thinking about this right now.
All I wanted was to get home and think about how I'm going to see Ethan.
***
I walked home from school by myself like I usually do. Austie and Haley wanted to walk me home so I could have some company, but I declined and told them that they should get home. I was in a rather good mood. Eating really made me feel better and my headache was gone.
When I got home I was humming part of Westcoast Friendship by Owl City and getting a granola bar out of the cubbard when I heard my mom come in.
"Hey, honey," she said, sitting at the dining room table. She sounded tired.
"Hello, mother," I said in a British accent, sitting across the table from her.
"What's the accent for?"
"I don't know. I guess I'm in a good mood." I smiled. I just couldn't WAIT to see Ethan again!
"Why?" she asked, and tilted her head.
I didn't know what to say to that because I couldn't tell her the truth. Which was: "I'm in a good mood because my dead boyfriend, who's not really dead, I guess, jumped through my window last night and he told me he loves me and I think I'm going to see him again tonight." Yeah . . . no. Not going to say that. I settled for, "Oh, because I got an A+ on the test that I was really worried about and I forgot to study."
Mom seemed to approve of that answer.
"Where's Dad?"
"I don't know."
"What? You don't know?"
"Yeah, we got into an . . . argument while you were at school and stormed off somewhere a few hours ago." She sighed.
Oh, great. My already drama-filled life is getting more drama. Perfect. "That's . . . well, you already know what that is. Well, I have to go do my homework. Hope you work things out." I walked up the stairs and to my bedroom.
Instead of doing my homework like I should have, I ended up laying down in my bed and falling asleep. I remember waking up and looking at the clock. It was 6: 30. Dang. I got up and got going on my homework. I wasn't done until about 8. . . . What? It was hard and I kept getting distracted by my thoughts of Ethan. So sue me.
A few minutes after I was done I was putting my books away when I heard my phone going off. I got a new text. I looked at the number and I didn't recognize it. I opened it and it read:
'Hey. It's me can I come ovr --TicTac?' I immediately knew it was Ethan because of the TicTac part. A few weeks ago we made up code names for each other so that we could communicate and no one else knew what the heck we were doing. I guess it's really coming in handy. He probably doesn't want my mom or dad going through my phone and seeing that Ethan texted me asking to come over when he's supposed to be dead. . . . That would be awkward.
'Yeah, when will U B here? --Slurpee' I texted back. I didn't need to add my code name, but I wanted to because I wanted him to know I remembered.
'In 15-20 mins. Keep ur window open.(;' he replied.
'K, C U in a few ;].' He didn't text back so that was the end of our conversation. After opening the window, I was on my way when I heard shouting. Shouting? I sat down on the edge of the stairs and peeked to see what was happening. It was Mom and Dad. Arguing. Great.
"What the hell were you doing with that slut?!" my mom demanded.
"I was having fun, which I don't get to do much around here anymore!" Dad shouted.
"But that doesn't mean you can come home drunk with an even more drunker slut lady hanging on to you and making out with you!" Uh-oh. Dad did that?
"I can do whatever the hell I want to do, okay?! I can get drunk whenever I want because I'm the man of the house and you're nothing but a woman. You're not my wife and we never got married, so I can have a girlfriend!" He yelled, slurring his words and pointing to the blonde heap of a slut lying in the middle of the living room passed out. Mom was right in calling her a slut because I didn't even know they MADE skirts that short until I saw the one she was wearing, I could practically see her skinny ass butt hanging out. Gross.
"I'M your girlfriend! That you have a kid with! You wanna cheat on me with some girl you hooked up with, then go ahead! I'm not stopping you. Leave right now, I dare you! Go get all your stuff packed up and leave."
"Allrighty then, Dannette," Dad said happily, heading for the stairs. I quickly got up and ran to my room, shut and locked the door. Once I was in my floor I sank to the floor as I realized what this meant. Dad was moving out. I started to cry.
Dad's so stupid. How could he give up such a beautiful, caring, loving, nice, supportive . . . all that good stuff up for some girl he just met in a bar and got drunk with and probably did some other gross things that I don't even wanna KNOW?! God, I just want to punch him right now. But, of course, I'm not going to because the last time I tried to calm him down when he was drunk he threw a chair at me.
I loved my dad, but most of the time he could be a real jerk. Once in a while, like at the
hospital, he was nice, like a normal dad, but most of the time, he was like this. I didn't know how my mom handled it. Well, I guess she was sick of his crap now. I heard more shouting and cussing and stomping around and I just crawled to the corner of my room and brought my knees to my chest and put my hands over my ears and sobbed. My eyes were clamped shut.
I felt a hand brush away some hair from my face and was afraid it was my mom, or worse, dad. I was relieved when I looked up and saw Ethan. His eyes were still red, but they weren't glowing and they were kind of dull. I hugged him with all my might.
"It's okay, Kailynn. It's all right." He comforted me and rocked me back and forth, trying to help me stop crying. But I didn't think I could. He carried me over to my bed princess-style and layed me down gently (facing towards the wall). He got in after me and hugged me from behind. His body was cool and it felt good on my hot (almost sweating) body.
After a few minutes my tears slowed down and I stopped crying.
"Are you all right now?" Ethan asked.
"Not really, but I'm okay," I said. He let got of me and sat down on the edge of my bed.
"So . . . are you going to tell me how you're alive?"
"Uh . . . soon. Not right now."
"Why!?"
"Because your dad's coming up here."
"What? How do you know?" Then I heard a knock on the door. I felt a breeze of air and looked back and Ethan was gone. The curtains to my window were moving.
"Honey, can I come in?" I heard my dad say softly. Ugh, I so do NOT want to talk to him right now, after what he did to my mom. But I guess I should since he's moving out. Or . . . that's what he said.
"Yeah, be right there," I said and wiped my eyeliner that was all smudged from me crying off of my face. I opened the door. There stood my dad with bloodshot eyes and messed up hair and stains all over his shirt. "Hey," I said.
"Hey, honey. We need to talk."
"I know what you want to talk about. I heard you and my mom downstairs. Almost every word. I know what you did and I'm not happy with it." I stated simply. Might as well get this over with, right?
"I'm so sorry, Kai, but I can't handle living here. I love you and your mom, just know that."
"Go ahead, move out. I really couldn't care less at the moment. I heard what you said to Mom down there and I don't appreciate it because she's my mom. Leave, but just know that you're hurting your daughter and . . . your wife, basically. And I know you guys aren't married, but you've been together since before I was born, so you might as well be. I know you probably don't care, but I thought that we were a happy family, and I thought we could work this out when you guys solved your problems before, I thought you could do it again. But I guess not. Go ahead and leave with that tramp down there."
Dad was shocked that I had said so much. He thought I was just gonna go 'okay, whatever' and he can leave easily. No, I wanted to make him feel guilty about leaving my mom. Guilty about leaving me, too. "I'm so sorry," he said and he hugged me. I didn't hug back, I just stood there. He smelled like alcohol and some cheap perfume that probably belonged to that slut down there, passed out on the floor of MY house.
"Sure you are, Dad. You should leave before you ruin something else. Because you sure ruined this day for me. I was finally getting back to normal. . . . I love you, and I want us to be a family, but you can't do that right now and I guess you're still not ready, so I'm going to say goodbye. And if you leave right now, don't think on coming back anytime soon because I won't forgive you easily, and neither will Mom. I know her, more than you, apparently."
Again, he was shocked, but he nodded and grabbed two suitcases that I didn't realize were by his side and turned away from me. He started walking down the stairs. I sighed and closed my door.
Ugh, this day just isn't getting any better, is it? Well . . . it was. I walked to the bathroom that was connected to my bedroom and plugged in my iPod and turned on my music full blast. I started up the shower and took off my clothes. The song that was on was Party Girl by Stephen Jerzak and it helped to lighten my mood. I sang along to the song as I got in the shower and started washing my hair. After that song was over Rugs From Me To You by Owl City came on. That song always makes me feel happy. A couple of songs later I got out of the shower. I wrapped a towel around my body and hair. I put my dirty clothes into the hamper and went to close the window that was still open. While I was closing it I couldn't help but notice that I had a text message from Ethan, it was the same number as before. I progammed it into my phone as Tic Tac. Then I read the text 'Meet me at the CVS that we went 2 get Sapphires Bday gift last year 2tomorrow at 5 pm. k?'. Uh . . . that's not weird or random at all . . .
'Ok? Sure....Y?' I replied
He took a minute to reply 'Because I want to see you and explain some things to you there and I'm staying close to there for now.'
'Ok. I dont kno how i'm gonna get there, but i'll make sure that i do. (:'
'Okay. C U 2morrow. <3'
'Night bye.' He didn't text back so I set my phone down and put my PJs on. It was just a black V-neck and a pair of grey shorts. I went downstairs and made some soup since I was hungry. Chicken noodle. It was good. After, I was tired so I layed down with my hair still wet and I fell asleep.
Too bad if my hair is all messed up tomorrow because of it, I'll just straighten it.
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