Never mind, I figured out the wifi problem! So here's another chapter for you all, leave me LOTS of comments please and thank you!!
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Breakfast went by painfully slow. Ace wouldn't meet my gaze which was slightly ironic since he was so obsessed with eye contact. Jason was focused on his food and would only glance up every couple minutes to see if Ace or I were staring at him. Grandma, though she acted oblivious, ate her meal with a glint in her eye. As if this silence between Ace, Jason, and I was something she's been waiting for. Something she's planned. That crazy old bat.
"So ... how did last night go?" Grandma instigated, taking a swig of her freshly squeezed orange juice. I kept my eyes cast downward, a sign that I wasn't willing to answer the question. I couldn't see my brother or Ace but their silence told me they were probably preoccupying themselves with their breakfast as I was. A moment later, grandma cleared her throat, "Boys, this is the part where you open your traps and speak."
Jason exchanged a glance with Ace, both of them urging the other to answer. I saw Ace shake his head, followed by a gesture of denial from my brother as well. When the silence continued, grandma spoke again, "When I ask a question, I expect an answer. If I have to ask a second time-"
"It went fine." Jason cut in nervously, stabbing at his pile of eggs with a fork.
Grandma supplied a smile and nodded, "And do I have to worry about any cops knockin' on my door?"
Ace shook his head, "Everything we did was well within legal limits."
"Well that's good to hear." Grandma informed, finishing up her breakfast with the smuggest smile on her face. She stood from the table, "Seconds anyone?"
Ace shook his head again, "No thank you. Genevieve and I have plans for today so we're going to head out soon."
Jason tossed a look in my direction. I rose my eyebrow at him, not sure what response he was looking for. Yes, Ace and I had plans. No, we weren't going to do anything inappropriate. At least, we wouldn't if I could keep my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds. Besides, Jason's concern was misplaced. Ace was with Holly and I had a devote relationship to my silence. Everyone was spoken for.
"Why don't you help my grandma with the dishes Ace. I need to speak with my sister before you two leave." Jason suggested rather bluntly. Ace nodded, following grandma into the kitchen while Jason rounded the table to stand near me. He lowered his voice and dipped his head so our words wouldn't be overheard, "Am I correct in assuming that last night remained PG?"
I nodded, standing as well so I wouldn't feel so tiny under his shadow, "Nothing happened. Nothing is ever going to happen, he has a girlfriend and we're just ... friends."
Jason rolled his eyes, "If you can't see what the rest of us see then you're even dumber than I thought, pipsqueak."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I did everything in my power to keep my mind from running wild but my thoughts hurdled out of control. Jason's words sparked an interested and the gleam in his eye confirmed what I had been hoping. There was something between Ace and I, something obvious.
Jason huffed, "Nothing. Forget about it."
Curiosity nibbled away at my consciousness. I felt my head tilt sideways, "He told you didn't he? About the trouble he's in."
My brother dropped his gaze and sighed. He crossed his arms and stepped closer as a further precaution that our conversation couldn't be heard elsewhere, "Listen Gen, I know you don't like being out of the loop but sometimes ignorance really is bliss. This thing that Ace is tangled up in, it's bad."
Was that supposed to scare me?
"I know."
"No, you don't know." Jason placed two heavy hands on my shoulders, "You shouldn't force it. Ace will tell you when he's ready."
"He's ready today." I lied.
My brother narrowed his eyes, "No. You're ready today. He can't say no to you, it's been his greatest weakness since the day he met you. That isn't something you should take advantage of."
"I know what I'm doing, Jason." I told him, stepping backwards, "Now I'm going upstairs to change. Please tell Ace that I'll be down in a minute."
With that I turned and left my slightly irritated brother in the dining room alone. What was his problem? I wasn't taking advantage of anything. I have a right to know what's going on, especially since Vic appears to have taken a liking to me. This is for my own safety, for my own closure. It has nothing to do with forcing Ace to tell me.
Right?
This wasn't about having the upper hand. This wasn't about being included like everyone else seemed to be. That's what I kept telling myself but Jason's words sat in my stomach like a stone. Why did they bother me so much? Jason was wrong, I knew what I was doing.
Upon entering my room, my toe struck a candle placed unnecessarily close to the door. With a sigh I picked up the candle and read the words scribbled across the label.
Careful What You Wish For.
How ridiculous. Even the candles were against me. The shadow was nowhere to be seen but there was no doubt in my mind who was responsible for this candle. I set the object down on the shelf next to its siblings before heading towards my wardrobe for fresh clothes. I settled on a pair of shorts and a tank top because today had a low of eighty degrees and a high of hellfire.
As I gathered my things and started towards the door, something caught my eye. A small red, flickering flame on the shelf of candles. Careful What You Wish For was lit as was Ignorance is Bliss. Oh great, they were teaming up against me.
"I know what I'm doing." I insisted quietly, wishing that at least the supernatural forces were on my side. Was I crazy for talking to candles or because I actually expected a response?
However, despite my anticipations no response came from the flames staring back at me. Their graceful movements were backed by an unseen force that either didn't care enough to reply or was content with letting me make my own mistakes. Flames flickered, smoke rose, all remained silent.
Having no other motivation to continue the shenanigans with my candles, I shut my door and jogged back into the kitchen where I found Ace waiting patiently for me near the back door. His gaze swung upwards when I entered and those stormy gems instantly softened. Maybe Jason was right, maybe I held some sort of power over Ace but that other further proved my belief of a connection between us.
But if there really was a connection between Ace and I, how could I possibly use that against him? As my brother so graciously put, take advantage of it?
Ace said a quick goodbye to Jason and grandma before nodding towards the backdoor. I followed after him as I have done so many times prior but for some reason, in this moment, I felt guilty. Damn those candles, damn Jason.
I guess I didn't know what I was doing after all.
Once outside, Ace led me towards his truck, opening the door for me when we neared. Then he rounded the front, took his place beside the wheel, and sparked the engine as we pulled onto the road from grandma's driveway.
This was it, time to make a decision. Ace would tell me everything for fear of my earlier threat. He said it himself, he wouldn't say goodbye a second time. But did that make it right? Blackmail, against a man I ... have strong feelings for, even if those feelings weren't reciprocated? Could I really go through with it?
No. My heart wouldn't let me.
"You don't have to do this." I whispered, my voice barely audible over the roar of the engine and the currents from the open windows.
Ace turned towards me, his eyebrows burrowed in bemusement, "What do you mean?"
I scrunched my hands in my lap, furious with myself, "I don't want you to tell me everything only because I'm ... blackmailing you. You should tell me because you want to. Because you're ready." Using Jason's words proved useful.
With a quickening pulse, I waited for Ace's answer though it never came. I chanced a look at him and found him already watching me with no regard for the road. His mouth was pressed into a hard line and his turbulent eyes spun in a vortex so intense that I feared I might be swept away. He looked back towards the road as his hand on the steering wheel tightened, then he flicked his eyes back towards me once again.
As if he couldn't decide which to focus on, me or the road.
"I don't get you. Like at all." Ace finally said, "First you're practically forcing me to talk and now you want it on my terms? What the hell is going on?"
"Nothing." I spoke quietly, feeling my nails bite into my palms as my fists clenched tighter, "I just wanted ... well Jason said I shouldn't ... but ... I don't know." I finished lamely, moving my gaze towards my hands in my lap.
Ace narrowed his gaze, "Well which one is it? Do you want to know or not?"
I found myself gawking at him angrily, "That's not a fair question and you know it." It wasn't fair because he would do what I said, even if he didn't want to. But if I told him no, then I was the one losing. How could he expect me to answer such a question without crushing either my desires or his?
He shook his head, letting out a short and bitter laugh, "I bust my ass trying to please you and I swear, it's just never enough."
My eyes began to sting. Shit, that hurt more than it should.
But now isn't the time. I refused to cry, even if his words cut through me like venom. In the end, he was absolutely right. I shouldn't expect so much from him, I shouldn't be such a brat. He's done a lot, as he said, to keep me happy. That should be enough, why wasn't it?
I nodded, looking out the window to compose myself before I faced him again. I couldn't cry at his words, especially since they were true. Constructive criticism was always appreciated, especially for someone as damaged as me ... I just never thought it would come from Ace.
We sat in silence for a long time. I didn't know what to say, Ace didn't want to say anything, and the radio was broken. Which left us with the sweet music of tension and hot Nevada air thundering in from both windows. I lost track of which turns we took or what roads we followed, I assumed we were heading towards Bobby's though I couldn't be sure. We spent a lot of time at Bobby's, I wondered why Ace never took me to his house.
After an eternity had passed, the truck came to a stop. Ace threw his door open and climbed out, slamming it shut behind him. But he didn't come to my door as he usually did. In fact, he practically disappeared. Perhaps he left, allowing me to suffer by my lonesome.
But I couldn't accept that. I've spent enough time being lonely.
Eventually, I also exited the truck and found that we weren't at Bobby's. We were in an old parking lot somewhere. The cement was cracking, offering small crevices where weeds and flowers blossomed from the fissures. Other cars were parked within the designated spots though none of them held any passengers. The parking lot itself was surrounded by an old chain link fence, now stained brown by rust and years of weather. The metal of the fence had been cut in one area which gave passage to a small path that vanished into the dry trees and bushes beyond.
Ace stood at the back of his truck, leaning against the wheel well on my side. With his old t-shirt and dusty jeans, he looked like any other teenage. I shuffled towards him, fully prepared to accept any harsh words Ace was bound to speak. He had every right. I wouldn't blame him if he left me in this old parking lot and never looked back.
Slowly he looked towards me, squinting from the relentless sun overhead. He buried his hands into his pockets and let out a long breath, "Genevieve, I ... well for starters, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten so angry. You just ... you get under my skin in a way no one else can. Sometimes, I like it, a lot. But other times it drives me crazy."
"I'm sorry." I told, glaring down at my folded hands near my thighs. Of course it drove him mad, I drove myself mad. Why couldn't I just be normal, like everyone else?
"Look at me, Gen." Ace's demand, though quiet, certainly didn't lack authority. I met his gaze, surprised by the tender look I saw on his face as opposed to the angered one I was expecting. He removed his hands from his pockets and reached for my own, tangling our fingers together. His thumb rubbed the skin on the back of my palm in long, soothing arches, "I will tell you. I'm ready to do so. But I want you to really think about what you're asking of me. Because I promise you won't like it."
Did that really matter? If Ace was in trouble, I wanted – no, needed to know. I doubt I could help in any way or lessen the toll this danger seemed to take on Ace, but at least I could be there for him. That's all I really wanted, was to be there for him when he had no one else.
"I know what I'm asking." I managed to say. I tightened my grip on his hands. The feeling of his fingers squished between mine brought me strength in ways no one could ever truly understand. My heart skipped a beat when Ace pushed away from the truck to close the distance between us. His cologne invaded my senses, squelching any last bit of fear within me. With eyes as confident as could be, I looked up into his gaze, "But I'm still asking for it."
A small smile spread across his mouth, brightening his face in such a way that melted me. Then his hands slid from my grip and found new residence on my cheeks as Ace leaned in and placed a soft, lingering kiss on my forehead. My eyes fluttered close, my hands involuntarily moving to grip the cloth of Ace's shirt near his hips.
I could stand here forever, pressing myself into him. I needn't food, water, or any other sustenance besides Ace's skin against mine.
"Then right this way." I heard him whisper from where he towered over me, his hot breath fanning across my forehead.
He stepped away first, almost hesitantly as if he held no desire to remove himself from my hold. Then he led me to the back of the parking lot where the break in the fence provided passageway to unknown destinations.
Ace stepped past the fence first, encouraging me to follow. I spent only half a minute worrying about the outcomes of this decision, then I told myself to buck the hell up and live a little. Ace wouldn't take me anywhere dangerous, he'd keep me safe. He's been doing so since we were kids Besides, I was eighteen. My broken childhood lay behind me and a desolate future lay ahead. The present was all I had left. Now was the time to act and be crazy and have fun.
None of those things were in my DNA but I could at least try.
We trudged down a dirt path, cutting through dead trees and more well on their way. Lack of water left this area dry and dusty with no hope of salvation. Bare sticks resided to the left and sunbaked twigs to the right, leaving a small path in between for us to pass through. I looked up and saw that the trees stretched together, blocking the area above us from the sun but through their lean branches I saw a bright blue sky stretching for miles. It was nice here, dry and barren much like the name of this valley, but nice all the same.
A few more minutes passed before the path opened up to a small clearing with what looked like an old schoolhouse abandoned in the middle. The building was tiny, being only a few rooms wide and a few rooms deep. There were two floors with an ancient bell tower topping the structure though the bell had long since been removed. To the left of the building still stood a playground complete with swings, a slide, and a merry-go-round. The grass around this area was trimmed neatly, holding back the weeds of the surrounding vegetation. It was evident that this building no longer held classes or taught education but in my mind, I could see it all as if I were standing here during it's heyday.
"Where are we?" I wondered. This place, though beautiful, reminded me of something I'd seen in a horror movie once.
"This was the old elementary school before they built the new one. Since this place wasn't being used, some of the high schoolers at the time fixed it up and turned it into a 'teen hangout'." Ace explained, noticing my uncertainty. He took my hand in his once again and pulled me forward, "It's kind of like a club. No one under fifteen or over twenty is allowed in, parties are permitted if supervised by a leading member, and if you drink, you stay the night. House rules."
I rose my eyebrows at him, "Leading member?"
He shrugged, "There's sort of a council that makes sure the place stays clean and safe. There's only a few of us but we manage well enough."
He pulled me towards the school but we didn't enter. As we neared his fingers tightened around mine then we were heading towards the playground area. He saw my confusion and explained, "Some of the other members might be here planning for the coming weeks, I don't want to bother them."
Once we came to an area between the slide and the swings that was somewhat coated in soft grass, I asked, "You're a council member?"
Ace shrugged, "Yeah. I don't really know how I came to be one, I just showed up one day and found my name on the board. People started asking me questions and the other leaders seemed to like what I was saying so they gave me a position. I've been on the council ever since."
I had more questions about this strange club but there were more pressing matters to cover and time was ticking. I sat down first and Ace took a seat beside me, stretching his legs like a cat. He leaned back on his hands, tilting his head towards the sun to bathe in it's warmth. I admired his carefree attitude even though I knew he was dreading the upcoming conversation. My stomach was queasy with anticipation, incapable of being cured by pure sunlight.
"So we should just get straight to the point, right?" Ace asked casually, letting out a long sigh.
"I think that would be best." I replied.
Ace nodded then sat forward, folding his legs under him and plucking a blade of grass from the dirt, "Okay. Well ... I guess I should start by saying I didn't choose this. Any of it. But my past set me up for it so I figured embracing was better than denying."
From his words, I could already tell this wasn't going to be an easy conversation. I asked for this though, I wanted this.
"Embrace what?"
He focused on the blade of grass in his fingers, twisting it in all directions. Stalling. After a long silence passed between us, he pinched the grass between his fingers, "My dad's legacy. He got tangled up in some shady stuff when I was a kid and eventually those shady things caught up with him. And unfortunately, me too."
Okay, so shady stuff, off to a great start by my standards. But shady stuff could refer to anything. I pressed on, "Is that where Vic and Roman came from?"
Ace nodded, tossing the grass into the wind, "Yeah. My dad was involved with some gang as a teenager and became a full member after I was born. But I think it was around when I turned fifteen that things started getting really bad. My mom was always high and my dad was running with these thugs and I was somehow caught in the middle. The next thing I know, Vic and Roman are sent out as my liaisons."
"What does that mean?"
"They were sent to watch me for a while, record me, then report back to whoever the hell their boss is. I found out a little while later that I was basically required to join the gang because I was a legacy or some bullshit like that." Ace wouldn't meet my eyes, almost as if he were shamed. But I couldn't fathom why. From what I've heard so far, none of this was his fault.
The blame fell on his father, like always.
My tone was much too quiet when I spoke, "Does everyone know?"
Ace shrugged theny nodded, "Yeah, I suppose. Holly and Creston found out when I did, that's how they got dragged into all of this. Luckily, Holly has been left alone for the most part except for the occasional visit from Roman. It's funny though because Vic and Roman are supposed to be my superiors but I've realized that I have more status than they do. For example, Roman allowed us to rough Vic up a little for what he did. Not many others have that ability."
So that's why neither Ace or my brother were hurt. Ace has 'status', whatever that meant. But that didn't explain everything, "What about Creston?"
A familiar look flashed through Ace's eyes, one I knew all too well. Self loathing, "Creston wasn't so lucky. Vic and Roman began recruiting him when they started with me. That's how Creston got so beat up last week. Creston denied their official invitation to the gang and ... well, you saw the outcome."
But how was that fair, "Isn't he allowed to say no?"
Ace shook his head, "Invitations are rarely given and they're not denied very often for obvious reasons."
My heart tripped over itself then raced violently, "So ... what about ... you?" Could he hear how my tone wavered? Did he sense my fear? Because it practically radiated from my body like a stench after exercising.
At first, Ace didn't move. His gaze locked on the ground, his body as still as stone. Then he sucked at his teeth, "My invitation was given a long time ago."
Does that mean what I think it means? Was Ace going to be forced to join this gang or be beaten to death? I didn't know how any of this worked but the way my pulse pounded wildly told me there was no easy or safe way out of this. My hands began shaking in my lap but I hid them further under my legs, "Isn't there something you can do? Can ... can you talk to your dad about it? Maybe after all this time ..."
But my voice trailed off. My suggestion was pure ridiculousness. Ace's father would never voluntarily help his son. The very idea was pure insanity. Ace seemed to agree because he let out a sharp snort of anger, "My dad and I aren't really on talking terms but it wouldn't matter even if we were. That man has thought so little of me since the second I was conceived, I wouldn't ask him for a penny let alone a release from his gang."
Fire boiled greater in my gut the longer Ace spoke, "He wouldn't be that cruel ... would he?"
"You met the man. You know." Ace snapped, turning away from me to glare at the slide to his left. But I sensed something in his tone, something off.
Something he wasn't telling me, "But-"
"You're not listening, Gen. That man wouldn't help me if I were the last person on earth. Every morning I would get up and my dad would be there to tell me that I was a mistake. That I was a stain. Then he'd beat me. I never understood why, I still don't. He never had a reason, never needed one." Ace scrubbed two hands down his face in frustration. His shoulders hung low, his voice hung lower, but his eyes shined brightly with so many different emotions. Hatred, disorder, pain, "Everyday, he'd tell me what a little shit I was. And after all that time of his constant reminders ... I started believing him."
Horror devoured my heart. I scooted closer to him, placing my hand on his knee for what little support I could offer, "That's not true. You know that's not true."
Ace swallowed roughly. His hand fell over mine and his gaze zoned in on where our fingers collided. His lips parted as words rolled from his mouth quietly, "I'm not a good person, Bunny. I'm ... unclean."
What? Unclean? How dare someone mutter those words to Ace, of all people. He was the most kind and caring person on this damn planet and some idiot had the gall to tell Ace he was unclean? No, not just some idiot. I knew exactly who it was and a furious rage swept over me like a tsunami unlike anything I've ever felt before.
"Your dad told you that?" I questioned through gritted teeth.
"Every chance he got."
I narrowed my eyes, "Well he's a damn liar." Ace looked back to face me, surprise evident in his eyes at my rather vulgar words but I couldn't stop myself, "I've known you for a long time, Ace. A few years are missing in the middle but I know who you are. You're a good man, a good person. You shouldn't believe a single thing that man has ever told you."
Ace watched me for a while, his eyes clouded by something I couldn't see. Then a small smile appeared on his lips, one so slight it almost went unnoticed. But I've realized the more Ace and I hang out, the more observant of his actions I become. Every move he made, every quirky dimpled smile, I saw. My eyes drank in his every actions and coded them into my brain like biological tattoos.
"Why are you smiling?" I asked.
Ace dropped his head, his smile growing, "Just something my dad said once."
Now I was too curious to abort, "What was it?"
I waited patiently as Ace composed himself. Then his twinkling eyes met mine, the memory now fresh in his mind, and he said, "He was beyond drunk, to the point where he was basically passed out on the couch. When he got like that, sometimes he forgot how much he hated me and we could have a semi normal conversation. And one time, he asked about you."
My heart dropped from my chest, "What did say?"
"He wanted to know how you were and if we were hanging out that day ..." Ace trailed off, chuckling to himself. Then I felt his hand tighten around mine as he continued on, "Then he said one day, we'd make a beautiful couple."
Did my lungs just shut down? Yep.
Was my heart still beating? Nope.
"He said that?" I breathed out in disbelief. Were we thinking of the same man? Ace's father, the one who beat him senseless time and time again, thought we'd make a 'beautiful' couple? Did Mr. Hunt even know what the word beautiful meant? This couldn't be right, Ace's dad didn't know how to be anything but wicked.
Despite my beliefs, Ace nodded, "Yeah. With a smile on his face too." He looked down towards our clasped hands. His thumb ran over the back of my palm, making those large arches again as it swung back and forth. We sat so close now, our knees touching and our faces mere inches from each other. Ace licked his lips then turned confident eyes up to meet mine, "I always thought so too."
I felt my mouth part in awe at his words. So I had been right. If I hadn't been sent away and continued visiting Barren Valley every summer, it would be me dating Ace. Not Holly. I'd get to walk through the halls with him, hand in hand. I'd get to kiss him and hold him whenever I wanted. I'd get to call him mine, all mine.
Maybe this was the time, the moment to confess how I truly felt. Ace basically just did, not directly or in many words, but the meaning behind them was obvious. Right? He felt the same way I did, at least maybe he did. I guess it could be just a figment of my imagination but it didn't feel like a fantasy. The way he held my hand and looked into my eyes, none of it felt like a lie.
More like a possible reality.
And I wouldn't be able to hold it in much longer, the confession was gurgling up my throat, begging to be released. But when I finally conjured up enough courage to simply open my mouth, Ace smirked and bumped his shoulder against mine, "But how true could it have been? I shouldn't trust a single thing that man ever said, right?"
Using my own words against me, what a dirty trick. But I couldn't stop the laugh that escape me. I pushed back against his shoulder playfully, though our hands never broke contact. So maybe now wasn't the time to tell him, maybe the time would never come. But now I knew one thing for sure, the most important thing.
Somewhere inside, Ace had feelings for me.
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