CHAPTER 22
"Daddy! Daddy!" Tahlia squealed in joy as she ran back towards Taylor and me, a small amount of sand clasped tightly in her palm.
Taylor slowly released my hand and squatted down so that he was at Tahlia's eye level. "What did you find?" he asked her, a large grin on his face.
"Another shell," she replied with a proud smile.
Tahlia picked the shell out of her hand with her small and delicate fingers before she placed it in Taylor's outstretched palm. It was small and white, no larger than a twenty cent piece.
"That's pretty, Tahlia," Taylor told her as he examined the plain, boring, common coquina mollusk sea shell.
Tahlia started jumping and clapping her hands excitedly. "I'm going to find another one, Daddy!" she exclaimed before skipping ahead of Taylor and me, her small feet leaving tiny footprints in the sand behind her.
We'd been at one of Geelong's main beaches for the past half hour. The sun was high in the air with not a cloud in sight. The water was a lovely aqua but we weren't swimming today - it was much too cold from the spring still. The whole time, I continued to try and think up away to speak what was burning through my mind like a wildfire.
"You know," Taylor began as he stood upright, placing the shell in his pocket with the others, and taking my hand in his own, "the last time we were here was about two years ago?"
That surprised me. I didn't even recognise the beach - they all looked to similar. "Really?"
"Really," he answered, squeazing my hand and smiling to himself as he looked ahead to Tahlia - she was intently looking through the sandy ground. "It was the first time you ever kissed me."
I remembered the flirtatious manner in which we'd splashed each other with the ocean's water, the way his eyes had burned into mine, the moment I'd finally found the courage to meet his awaiting lips, and I could definitely remember Tahlia kicking against me from the womb violently, so much so that Taylor was able to feel her.
I blushed at the solid memory I held near and dear to my heart.
Taylor chuckled lightly at my reaction. "And Tahlia was still curled up in Mummy's tummy," he kissed my neck as he pulled me into his side, both of us walking still. I didn't find it weird any more when Taylor addressed me as 'Mummy', seeing as he'd been doing so for Tahlia's sake for so long now. I'd even called him 'Daddy' a few times. It was all a bit of harmless fun. "Remember?"
"Of course I remember! How on earth could I forget that?!" I asked, mostly sarcastically.
"Mmm," he mumbled as he kissed my temple. "I was just reminiscing on the good times before the rascal came along," he continued jokingly.
I rolled my eyes at his sentence.
That only made him chuckle.
Tahlia came running up then, squealing for Taylor to look at another one of her findings. This time, it was a slimy seed pod from a branch of washed up seaweed. Taylor put it in his pocket with her other findings as she ran ahead of us yet again.
Another few minutes ticked over and it came to mind that we'd walked almost two kilometres at least. The sun was dying down to the west of the city and the chill in the air was coming back.
"We should really turn back," I told Taylor as he now held only my hand.
He looked at his watch and then to the sky. "Yeah, I guess we should."
He looked ahead to Tahlia who was now digging in the sand. Her clothes were completely covered in sand and I could see it caked into her hair also. That was going to be 'fun' to wash out of her tonight.
"Tahlia!" Taylor called. Tahlia didn't respond. "Tahlia! Time to go home!"
Again, no response.
I couldn't help but smile. "You do realise that she's ignoring you, right?"
Taylor groaned internally. Tahlia would always ignore him when she knew it was time to leave but she didn't want to. It was amusing just how much it bugged Taylor.
"I'll be back," he told me as he released my hand.
I stopped and watched him jog a few metres up the beach to where Tahlia was. Once there, he tried negotiating with Tahlia, but she was being stubborn. After a few minutes and no such luck with prying Tahlia away, Taylor simply lifted her into his arms and began walking back to me. Tahlia was kicking and her screams of displeasure grew more and more pronounced as she and Taylor came closer and closer to me.
Why, oh why, did she have to crack a tantrum every time we had to leave?
When Taylor was at my side again, we began walking back to the car, Tahlia continuously kicking and screaming to get down.
"Daddy!" she sobbed, trying to pry his arms off.
"Tahlia," Taylor began sternly, "we have to go home now."
"No!" she retorted. "Put me down, Daddy!" she screamed, tears flowing again.
Taylor ignored her.
"Daddy!" she screamed again.
And like before, Taylor ignored her. His face was a stern mask. He was definitely angry. He was always angry when Tahlia misbehaved... which was often.
Tahlia knew all hope to negotiate with Taylor was lost so she began on what she knew always worked.
"Mummy..." she sobbed, looking over her shoulder at me. Her eyes were as wet as the ocean, her eyes mirroring the orange colour it was in the sunset.
I internally kicked myself for being so weak in persistence for my daughter when it came to her being in tears. Taylor had always told me that we had to be consistent with any scoldings or punishments to her, but I was so weak when it came to that. Like, one time, Taylor had sent her to bed early and I couldn't help but sneak in after her. The whole time, we'd talked about how boys were smelly, annoying and mean. It had made her smile, which was all I'd wanted.
I sighed as I pried Tahlia out of Taylor's grasp, ulimately making Taylor all the more angry.
I held Tahlia tightly to her chest, patting her back in sympathy as her sobs and tears eased. When she was near finished, I began talking to her.
"Boys are so mean aren't they, Tahlia?"
Taylor groaned at my words; Tahlia nodded against my shoulder.
"Daddy's just mean and nasty, isn't he?" I grinned at Taylor, hopefully showing him that I was only joking.
Again, Tahlia nodded.
Now came time for responsible mother duties.
"Do you know why Daddy was mean and nasty?"
Tahlia moved her head so it was leaning against my shoulder on its side. She slowly shook her head in denial.
I looked her deeply in the eye. "Because you didn't listen to him and do as he asked. Daddy was telling you it was time to go home, but you didn't listen to him."
She let out a little sob. "But I don't want to go home." She hid her face again.
I sighed and continued to reason out Taylor's actions for Tahlia's understanding.
* * *
By the time we reached the car, Tahlia had somewhat cried herself to sleep and was heavy against my shoulder.
Taylor unlocked the car and opened the backseat door so that I could buckle Tahlia into her seat. Once I was done, leaving Tahlia cuddled up to one of her soft toys, I gently shut the door and moved myself into the passenger seat. Taylor was already seated in the driver's.
He began the car and turned us in the direction of home.
If I didn't voice my mind, I wouldn't know when my next opportunity would arise.
"Hey... Tay..." I began in a small and shy voice.
"Yeah?" he asked, not noticing my lack of confidence as he concentrated on merging onto the Midland Highway from Geelong.
"Umm... you know how I can walk and all now...?"
I could see from the black reflection of the windscreen that a strange look crossed Taylor's face. "Yes... What's up, Nas?"
I fumbled with my fingers for a moment. "I don't know how to say it..." I trailed off.
"Just tell me, please."
I let out a great sigh, telling myself not to cower: Taylor loved me. He was my husband. He'd understand what I was trying to ask him... Wouldn't he?
"Well, er, I'm ready for... you know..." I wanted to slap myself! I sounded so childish as idiotic.
But, apparantly Taylor understood my incoherent request. After changing car gears, he moved his now free left arm and wrapped it around my shoulders.
"Can you give me a couple days?" he asked sincerely, not laughing at my request. And he wasn't even denying it!
I groaned. I guess, what was a couple more days? I'd already been going without any physical love between us for over two years and so I figured I could hold on just a few more days. "I suppose. A week?"
He chuckled. "No way. I was thinking much earlier than that."
My eyes windened in emmense anticipation.