It's been a month since I walked in on Lucas. A month since I moved into the faze house. A month since Chianne told me that she wanted to castraight him. But you know all things are good in the hood. But one thing that I won't forget is how Nat stood up for me when we got all our stuff to move into the faze house.
~flashback~
I was getting all my clothes when I heard Nat yelling.
"How could you?"
"Nat"
"No. You've hurt her so many times and you just think it's ok! Well it's not. She's been hurt so many times before, you don't deserve her! I hope your happy. You just lost the best thing that has ever happened in you pathetic life."
"Listen it's not like that"
"What is it then. You act like this isn't a big deal. It is. What if you got Nichole pregnant again. There is no chance in hell I would let you near her or the baby. You think you can just screw up everyone's life. Lucas you such a bitch.
"Nat you don't get how I feel"
"No I see it. You still love your first love. She was your first everything. But then she cheated on you. And you were broken and crushed. But then you meet my sister. And you wouldn't shut up about her to your friends and sister. But then she came back and you cheated on Nichole. Nichole is the most loyalist girl you'll ever meet. And how much you wanna bet she's already cheating on you again Lucas. So hit me with the gay shit one more time about how she's your first love and I'll beat the holy hell out of you."
I grabbed my boxes and walked out into the living room to see Nat walking out of the front door and Lucas standing there with a hurt expression on his face.
"He's right. I don't deserve you. Your to good for me. And now I've lost you forever. I'm sorry"
"Sorry doesn't cut it Lucas."
Then I walked out of the door leaving him. But god did it hurt like hell.
~end~
It hasn't been easy. But I've managed to get along just fine. Today we're having a pool party and me and Chianne decided to get matching swimsuits. She got a Harley Quinn and I got Poison Ivey.
"Chianne you look so cute"
"Not as much as you do"
I smiled and we walked out to the pool together. We laid out in the sun for the most part. It was about mid day when the front door opened to the house. I pulled down my sun glasses to see Lucas and the whore walk in.
"Great"
"What"
"Just look what the cat dragged in"
"Your shiting me right"
"Nope"
I got up and went inside to get me and Chianne some water.
"Why dose she think she can wear a two piece. I mean she's got a lot of chunk and no body wants that. I can see the dead baby still on her"
"Excuse me"
"You heard me"
"I obviously didn't"
"I said you shouldn't wear a two piece because your fat and still have fed baby weight on you"
That's it. I was in a black out mood. All I remember was jumping on her and punching her in the face. Then I heard shouting and then some people yell World Star. But I felt myself being lifted up and pulled off of her. Then everything was clear.
"Let me down. I need to finish this."
"No you don't"
"I'm not letting her make fun of me out my baby"
"Nichole"
"I can't let someone take everything away from me. Not again"
"Let me go"
I felt my feet touch the cool ground as I shoved past everyone and ran up the stairs to my room. I slammed the door shut and went to the bathroom and locked the door.
( hello fam if you get upset with self harm and any thing suicidal please skip this I don't want to trigger you or anything. Self harm is not good. And I've done it but I've stopped. And if you guys ever need anyone to talk to I'm here. )
I went to my make up bag and pulled out my eyeliner sharpener. I unscrewed the screw and took the blade and placed it across my wrist. One cut, two, three, twelve. I felt numb. I just wanna be with my baby. See him or her. I want Lucas back. I want to be happy. But he's happy with that whore and I have no one. I looked down at the tiled floor to see the scarlet pool around my limp arms. I could hear someone knock on my door and I didn't answer I heard someone walk into my room and to the bathroom. The door handle shock.
"Nichole open up"
It was Banks. I can't let him see this. He'll think I'm wried. And I'm safe.
"Go away"
"Open up"
"Go away"
"Don't shut me out"
I felt myself tear up as I crawled across the floor and to the door lock I had barley enough strength to unlock the door. When banks open the door he scooped me up not caring if he got blood all over him and ran downstairs.
"Chianne!"
"What"
Chianne walked into the living to to see me lip in his arms.
"I'll get the keys take her to the car"
I felt the sudden need to close my eyes and sleep.
"No keep your eyes open baby girl"
"But I'm tired"
"Don't close those beautiful eyes"
"I'm sorry"
"No. common stay up"
I felt myself being put in the backseat of the car and Banks put my head in his lap. I heard Chianne get in the car as she told Ricky that the rest of the house was coming when ever we get me checked in. I kept my eyes open for the longest of times. But once we got to the hospital they closed. And I drifted into a darkness.
~dream~
"Mommy get up"
"What"
"Get up mommy you need to wake up. It's not your time"
"Who are you"
"Not to worry. Just open your eyes."
~end~
"Come on wake up. Open your pretty little eyes"
I tried to but I couldn't. Please open. I keep trying to. But nothing then I heard something that made me want to cry.
"Mommy you need to live I can't be here without you"
I cracked my eyes open to see a bright light. I closed my eyes and opened them again trying to get used to the light.
"Oh thank god. Baby girl you scared me. Mean us"
I looked over at him and smiled. It was a pain smiles that said im sorry you had to see me like this.
"I'm sorry"
"Don't be"
"Well I am. You had 'tis we me like that"
"Baby girl don't be sorry. I've been where you've been before. You don't have to apologize"
I looked out the window to my right and a tear rolled down my face.
"I had a dream. And it was my baby telling me to wake up. That it's not my time."
I looked over at him and laughed.
"I thought that I had no one but I have my baby always watching over me keeping me in check. The. I have you. I have Chianne"
"You'll never loss me. Ever. I don't care what anyone says about you your the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."
"Thank you. Can you get Chianne and a nurse."
"Sure thing baby girl"
He planted a kiss to my forehead and walked out the door. Chianne walked in and then a nurse.
"You said you needed something"
"Uh yeah. Is thee any way I oils get a pregnancy test"
"Of course. Just hold on"
I looked at Chianne and she had a blank face.
"Don't give me that face. I just want to make sure."
"You better not go back to him until he proves to you that he's changed. Ok. He better be begging on his hands and knees. Walk over a pit of lava. I swear. I'll kill him."
"I know you will. And I don't plan on going back to him. Until I know I can trust him again. "
"Good girl"
The nurse came in and handed me a cup and I went to the bathroom. I did what I had to do. And went to wash my hands. I cleaned the cup just incase some got on it. I handed it to the nurse and she was off to see if I had a bun in the oven.
"What if I am"
"You'll have it and be a wonderful mother"
"Thanks. Your be a great aunt"
We chatted until the nurse came back. She had a smile on her face.
"Congratulations. Your expecting"
I started to cry. I wanted it but then again it's Lucas's I have to tell him. Fuck.
"Girl you ok."
"I'm just so happy and angry"
"I know how you feel"
"I wonder when they'll let me leave"
"When ever they think your not a threat to yourself"
~time skip~
It's been three days. Three. And they still haven't let me leave yet. I've sat in my bed and looked out the window. I hold my belly and think of the future and what's it going to be like. Ricky visits often and he's told me multiple times that he wants to take me on a date once I get out. I keep turning him down. I'm not ready for anything yet. Today is another visitation and Ricky came.
"Hey beautiful"
"Hello"
"I've been thinking"
"Yes"
"Since your pregnant and all"
"Go on"
"I wanted to get you a dog"
"A dog"
"Yes"
"What type"
"English bulldog"
"Why a bulldog"
"Because there sweet and cute plus there good with babies"
"I'll think about. Just like I've been thinking about taking your offer on the date"
"Really"
"Yes"
He smiled really wide and I couldn't help but smile. I looked down and looked back up to see his eyes on my lips. He looked back up and I gave him a small nod. He leaned down and placed his soft but chapped lips on mine. After a few seconds we pulled away.
"Wow"
"I know"
"I'll be waiting in that date Ricky"
"Don't worry it'll happen."
He walked out of my room since visitation is over. The nurse walked in after he left and said that the doctor says I can go home. I asked her if she would get the young man that left my room. She nodded and went to get him. I got out of bed and I ran to get the bag of clothes that Chianne brought for me to wear and changed. She packed my dry shampoo and my makeup but only a few she thought was safe for me. I smiled at how protective she is of me.
It was fun actually. It having to wear clothes that were to baggy on me and actually look presentable. I waited for the nurse to come hand me my papers and I walked out to be greeted by Ricky.
"You look great"
"Thank you."
"So we're going to a arcade and then to the mall for a surprise."
"Sounds like a plan"
He took my hand and we left the hospital off to the wonderful land of video games. Once we made it to the arcade the real fun began we played so many games. We were being very competitive. There was even some cute carnival games there and he won me a stuffed unicorn. It was nice. We took a selfie together and I'm thinking about posting it on Instagram. I don't want to start any drama. So I think about it for a while. So then he took me to a mall. I didn't know what he was going to do until he covered my eyes and then he pulled them away as I looked down I saw so many puppies. But one stuck out to me. It was sitting all by itself in the corner. I smiled and went over and picked it up. Ricky was looking at the ones who ran around and over to when we first walked in.
"Ricky I want this one"
He looked up at me and smiled. I didn't notice him taking a picture. I was just smiling down at the puppy and holding it close to my chest.
"Ricky isn't he so cute"
"Nit as cute as you but yes he is."
"Stop being cheesy"
"Sorry habit when I'm around such an amazing and beautiful person. So what are you going to name him"
"Thor"
"Thor?"
"Yep"
I followed Ricky up to the check out desk and the lady smiled and told us how many people have overlooked him because he was the runt and always sat by himself. I smiled and held him closer to me. We walked out of the mall after I bought some cute things for little Thor. We made our way back to the faze house and everyone was excited for me to be back. And Lucas was there but no Brittany. Chianne came and whispered to me.
"He broke up with her because he saw how much she brought you down. He cried. Like a lot. It was terrible he went into a mood."
"I'm still not taking him back. I can't trust him"
"I know girl"
"Thanks for understanding"
"So you got a new puppy and had a date. When are you going to tell everyone your you know."
"Right now"
I cleared my throat and everyone looked at me and then I let out the news.
"I'm pregnant.....again"
Everyone had a shocked look on there face except Ricky and Chianne. But out of all of them Lucas had the most strained face. He looked shocked and happy then sad. He's probably remembering what Nat said.
"There is no chance in hell I would let you near her or the baby"
I looked down and held Thor closer to me. But not to tight. I felt Ricky out his arm around my waist and rub small circles on my side.
This is going to be one hell of a bumpy ride.
( hello my babies I hope you enjoy my update. I wish you all a happy new year. Be safe don't do anything I wouldn't do 😉. Love you all so much 💜)