Caution: This book is rated R and contains boyxboy content. I'm sure it's been made clear in the title.
chapter 1
Is this how it feels to be lost?
Consumed in a feeling that's unexplainable, incomprehensible, and one that I want nothing more than to hide behind all that I can.
Hoping to just disappear.
The only issue with hiding your feelings is that you're the only one who knows it's there. Your reasoning, understanding and self is unjustifiable, because people won't nor can know what you fail to show.
I know this, I know I do.
So why does it still hurt when he looks at me like that. Why does it even burn me when my fiery rage lashes out. I don't want to hurt him, and I don't want to be hurt. Yet, here we are again, in another argument that hurts me far more than he could ever know.
This might be hypocritical of me to think of myself when I know I'm the problem.
But his words hurt too.
" How many times do I have to kick your ass before you give up " Yuki lashed out as he glanced up from his book. I grind my together under the pressure of my jaw as my blood boils. How do we always end this way, it's not as though I want to argue with him.
I once had hoped to be close to him, but it almost feels wrong. I want to be kind, and I hate it when we fight. Yet it only feels natural when we fight, because regardless he's a mouse and I'm a cat, and that's just facts.
I'm an outsider, It almost 'feels as though I could never match his calm and collected deminer. I'm wild and reckless, and he's always just so composed.
And sometimes I think if I was a little more like him, people could accept me for who I am.
But, then again, when I see that smug look on his face, I just can't help myself.
" The day I lost all my pride, you stupid rodent " I shouted out, feeling a slight sense of gratification before the regret sinks in. You know that sense of reflexes that are a defence mechanism, but really it is just the childish reaction to a Serino.
Yeah, that.
" You lost that years ago," Yuki said as though he really thinks I'm just going to take that, like who does he think he is. The honest disrespect that I receive is unbelievable...
like honestly, I should have every right to act as I do... Don't I.
Who am I kidding
I know very well that I had lost it when I first meet him. It's not like I wanted to have a bad relationship with him, It's just how I am around people when I first meet them. Who cares anyway, now that I know what he's like he truly deserves it.
" Stupid rat!! that's only possible if you end me, and we both kn-... " I shouted being cut off by him as I was about to give him an ear full. I don't like being cut off so know I'm heated.
" I could make that day today," he said calmly as he rose from his seat placing his book on the table while making his way over to me.
Now I'm nervous, and I hate that.
I hate that he can make me nervous. He can get me riled up and play with my feelings just because he knows just the right buttons to press. But more than anything, I hate that he can do what he pleases and I can't even figure out what he's thinking about.
Ever.
" Um. .. Yeah you could ... or I might too ....so let's see who does! " I said nervously, as my voice shuttered with each word getting harder to force out after one another. At this point, he had already made his way across the room and was right in front of me. I took a step back startled with his sudden closeness. I was nervous, of course, I was, I knew all too well how this usually ends.
But still, I had to keep the front I can't allow him to see that he's getting to me, I have to at least keep up the front.
Because Lord knows that's all I can do.
I've built up the momentum to look at him directly, bracing myself for the battle that was about to take place. Still, I saw something else hidden behind his eyes. I was a look more forgiving then is previous glances, is this pity, because I don't need his pity.
Or, could it be the first step in a new direction. The look was in-depth and embracing, yet still lurked with his sadistic undertone.
" How about we make this more interesting," he said, closing up the only gap I could make between us with our faces only inches always. I was taken aback by his forward approach with my first reaction being swallowing the large chunk of air that accumulated in my mouth in hopes to buy some time.
" ...H-how do you plan to do that " I managed to break out through my now obvious nervousness, closing my eyes in hopes that he wouldn't get any closer. Then another large amount of air is swallowed, in hopes to calm my nerves but only adds to my self-hate.
I hate that he can just do whatever he wants, and I just have to take it. Cats are meant to be the predator.
So, why do I feel like this stupid rat's pray.
" how about if you win, I'll become your servant but if I win you become my slave, forever," he said, then he turned around and sat back to his original position as though nothing happened. I hate that he can do that, act like it means nothing to him but me ending up all frustrated.
" You know if you're up for it " Yuki concluded, then picking up his book again, continuing where he left off.
He always makes the terms. Why is it that he thinks he can just say and do anything that he wants. Oh well, the jokes on this stupid rat, this is my chance. If not to build a reasonable mutual understanding. I'm at least going to finally show him that he can't mess with me.
I'm more than something he can just play around with, and this is my opportunity to show that.
" Yeah, I would love to have a servant around to do all my dirty work," I said with a massive smirk creeping up on my face, unable to hide my excitement I allowed it to show. I know that this is my chance to see change, to build confidence, and to once be the one making him shutter like a fool.
" Okay then, let's shake on it," He said, extending out his hand as he glanced up from his book.
This felt like what I have been waiting for, the thing that will finally balance things out for me. If he's my servant, I won't need to worry about the dynamic of our relationship because it will be clear. So, of course, I took his hand in confidence.
But yet I couldn't quiet the voice in the back of my mind that felt as though I would retreat this.
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We stood across one another, surrounded by bamboo in the nearby forest. Tensions built up quickly through anticipation. The forest was dead silent, with not a soul in sight. I watched him as he stood unphased by the situation, with confidence that glowed so bright, as though he had already won. But I refuse to allow him to get in my head, I know I can beat this damn rat. I have to because I'm well aware that if I thought the relationship was terrible previously, God only knows what will be of me if he wins.
And it also wouldn't hurt to win for once, and having the prince as my servent is only the bonus of it.
Taking a deep breath, I suddenly made complete eye contact with him as I ran at full speed towards Yuki. This is the only way I could win, using the element of surprise. We weren't too far apart, so I was able to in seconds to completely close up the gap separating us. With complete focus, I never once took my eyes off the target. Just as the timing, distances and positioning were perfect, I swang a forceful punch at that prince's pretty little face. But he dodged it...
I missed.
My heart stopped, how could I miss, I felt so stupid. But I didn't have time to care about that right now. As I tried to recover from my first failed attempt, I felt his hand grab my arm and my heart sunk into the pits my stomach. My previous enthusiasm now replaces with a frantic fear that my worst nightmares may be more of a reality than I am comfortable with accepting.
My back then hits the cold, hard ground after he had sent my body flying has he flipped me by my arm.
I don't know what hurt more, my back or my pride.
I glance up at him to witness a look of sadness and disappointment on his face, but that didn't last as it quickly changed back into his regular smirk. I then quickly recover to my feet not yet ready to face defeat, not while knowing this bastard is looking down at me.
As I regain my balance, I spot him making his way towards me at full speed. I decide to go about this as he had previously done and I prepared to grab his hand, see how he likes it. But before I even realise it, he slides under me at full force, slamming me into the ground.
I attempt getting up again to put in more of a fight, but I grunt and struggle to get my body to listen to me. How embarrassing, to lose so indifferently, it only makes it worse when I look up to see that smug look on his face.
Sometimes I think he likes this a little too much.
" What an easy win, I thought you would put up more of a fight, " Yuki said unbothered with a hint of disappointment in his tone, which just pissed me off more. Like I wasn't already feeling shitty enough.
I hate when he does that, as though he's higher than me like I'm an underperforming child. I hate that he knows that's how you get under my skin, and I hate more than anything else that it always works.
" Well do you want a rematch," I said irritated, lowkey hoping that he'd agree to give me another chance to kick his smug butt. Finally finding the strength to get up on my feet, I dust myself off, unable to hide my frustration that so clearly showed on my facial expression.
" Why would I want that " he smirked as though he was comprehending whether I thought I could out-smart him or if my ass still needed to get kicked a little harder. He walked towards me, closing any possible gap between us. He then whispered softly in my ears " I already got what I want ".
I pushed away feeling the blood rush to my checks, was it frustration or embarrassment. I didn't care I just need this joker away from me.
" Fine, you won fair and square. I'm your servant now " I said through my frustration managing to display some sort of an act to show that I wasn't bothered by the situation. But you could probably already see the steam coming out of my ears.
Yuki let out a chuckle.
This had me off graded. What was so funny.
" No now your now my slave," he said with a smirk.
I didn't get what was so funny.
But I got a feeling in the bottom of my stomach that his choice for words was intentional. He had a look in his eyes that I'd never seen before, it differed from his usual smug look, but it felt dark.
I had an awful feeling about what he met by ' slave. '
well theres chapter 1 if you liked it an want me to keep writing plz
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This is a book im written coz I though it would Be kool like n becuse these 2 make such a cute couple I want to make them look hot instead.