Faye's
"Girl ar-are you a fucking sicko?! Get the hell out of my car!" I came back to my consciousness after I felt someone pushing me against the vehicle's door. With my tear-stained face, I turned my head to the rude guy that keeps on shoving me. I could barely see his face because of the tears that's clouding my vision, the dim lighting from the street post also didn't helped my case.
The dude just keep on blabbering things which made me quickly shift my mood from being emotional bitch to a freaking infuriated witch. Mistulang nagsiurong lahat ang mga luha ko dahil sa ingay ng lalaking katabi ko. Kung makatulak pa saakin akala mo naman close kami. What kind of a man who persistently pushes and constantly yells over a crying lady? This dude is pure heartless! And dum dum! Because how would that pushing can get me out of this freaking car when in fact the door on my right is fucking closed?!
"Aalis ka o kakaladkarin kita palabas—" I don't know why but I suddenly blurted out loud what my mind was telling me. "Bakla ka ba?"
The noise coming from his mouth awhile ago easily died just like that. I felt the need to see him so I wiped the tears from eyes to witness what will be his reaction to my question would look like. And now with my clear vision, I welcomed danger.
Napakunot rin ang noo ko kasi his face also looks really familiar... parang nakita ko na siya somewhere. Hindi ko lang maalala.
Oh yes now I remembered! Siya 'yong lalaking kausap ni Tanya kanina! The guy who keeps on knocking down shot glasses.
I was about to apologize when he unexpectedly place his left palm right in front of my face. It was close enough for me to notice the little mole on his thumb. "I would rather call myself as effeminate. And yes, I am a proud one. Do you have any problem with that?"
His statements kinda left me dumbfounded but I still managed to peep through his hand and saw his face with raised brow so I presume he's indeed serious. . . and gay. And with that remark of him, I mentally face-palmed. What's wrong with you guys?! It's not like I got something against the third gender but I just want to ask why? Bakla na nga yung tinatakasan ko hindi ko inaakalang bakla rin pala yung mapupuntahan ko. At hindi ko na napigilan pa ang sarili kong hablutin ang kamay niyang nasa harapan at sapilitan siyang inilapit sa akin para makita kong mabuti ang itsura niya. And damn it! Isa na namang magandang lahi ang nasayang.
Hindi pa nga kami nakaka- tatlong segundo sa ganoong posisyon nang marahas niya akong itinulak palayo sa kanya na siyang naging dahilan ng pagkaka-untog ng ulo ko sa bintana. Well I must admit that, that shit hurts! "Whatever! Just let me sit in here for just a couple of minutes. Bababa din naman ako kapag nasiguro ko nang wala na siya sa labas." Kinakamot ko yung naka tamang parte ng ulo ko habang sinasabi ko 'yon sa kanya. May sasabihin na naman sana siya kaya inunahan ko na. "Don't worry. I'm harmless as a baby. I won't do anything stupid to you. Tulungan mo lang ako then after this you are good to go." I looked at him and he seems unconvinced so I gave him my sweetest fake smile that even Chris haven't got to see, so he should be fucking honored.
"You know what? Kung nangtri- trip ka, please lang huwag ako—" I cut him off on mid air. "Look! I am not fooling around. I am fucking serious here. There's really someone out there trying to get me so I need to hide!" I told him using my almost worn-out tone. I also accompanied my statements with hand gestures just to convince him that I am in grave.
Pero sa kabila ng pagiging seryoso ko siya namang ikinatawa ng isa. "Pffft. What are you? 12?" Did he just asked me that stupid question? "Listen girl. If you're just playing hide and seek please don't hide here inside my car. Hindi ka ba aware na nakakaabala ka na?" He said it before crossing his arms and raising his left eyebrow. So after what I've just said and done he still doesn't believe me? Jeezuus! Ganoon ba talaga ako kahirap paniwalaan?
My eyes automatically twitced when he opened the lights inside his shitty car. Wait what?! "What the hell are you doing?! Sa ginawa mong 'yan agad niya akong makikita dito sa loob!" Then I tried to reach for the switch to quickly turn it off but he's really trying to get on my nerves. Ni hindi niya hinahayaang makalapit man lang ang mga daliri ko sa may ilaw dahil agad niya itong sinasalag.
"Well good for me then. Hindi ko na problema 'yon. Now, kung ayaw mo talagang mahanap ka ng pinagtataguan mo, dahan- dahan ka nang bumaba dito sa sasakyan ko at tumakbo palayo. Bilis na at baka maisipan ko pang tulungan siya at magsisigaw na nandito ka." Now I am sure, not even having a single doubt that he is a plain ruthless gaytard. He made me scoff in silence.
I understand that he's suspicious of me since I'm just a stranger who just shamelessly barged in inside his car which make him instinctively think that I'm a possible con artist or burglar who will rob him clean but damn I am also aware that he isn't that stupid to not consider me as someone who's vulnerable and weak. He's just purposely refusing to help me because I am a woman by flesh and blood. This gay is a fucking sexist for Pete's sake!
But it's okay, I can handle this kind of being. Dahil hindi siya madaan sa santong dasalan, mas mainam nang daanin ko na lang sa santong paspasan dahil desperada na talaga ako! I need him to help me!
Taas- noo ko siyang hinarap. "Sige, subukan mo. Baka gusto mong basagin ko 'tong windshield ng kotse mo gamit ang heels ko?" Then I snatched one of my leather pumps and raised it for him to see that I am not joking. Akmang bubuksan na sana niya ang pinto nang mabilis kong hinigit ang manggas ng polo niya. Ano na naman ba ang balak ng isang 'to? "And where are you going? Take note, one wrong move, baka maisipan ko ring ipukpok na lang 'to sa bungo mo para maging madali na lang saakin ang lahat."
I did not hear any rebuttals from him about my stupid blackmail. He didn't even bother to answer me back which I find unusual of him who really doesn't like losing. So I took a glance to see what is he doing.
"Mind if I ask what are you now up to?" Sabay turo ng nguso ko sa umiilaw niyang cellphone. Yinugyog ko pa siya gamit yung kanina ko pang hawak na manggas kasi mukhang wala siyang balak na sumagot.
"Bitch can't you see? I'm calling the cops." He snarkily replied. Hindi rin nakalagpas sa paningin ko yung pagrolyo niya ng mata which I find really irritating. Habang abala siya sa pagtipa sa cellphone niya, kinuha ko na rin 'yong tiyansa para i-off yung ilaw kaya nakuha ko ulit yung atensyon siya. "You're seriously going to keep this up, don't you?!" Galit niyang baling sakin. I just shrugged in reply which caused him more infuriated. Pabalang niya na ring tinanggal yung kamay ko sa damit niya bago nilagay ang telepono sa tainga.
"Hello—" I gasp before my adrenaline rush finally kicked in and immediately snagged the phone out of his hand. Narinig ko pa siyang malutong na napamura dahil sa ginawa ko pero wala akong pakialam. I turned down the call first before facing him. "You seriously called the cops?!" Hindi makapaniwalang tanong ko.
He immediately answered. "Yes I did bitch so give me my phone now or—"
"Why?"
I know I asked a stupid question but I don't care because honestly I somehow felt betrayed. I saw him deliberately thinking before answering me. Tinitimbang niya pa kung ano ang sasabihin. Why? Am I that shady? Do I really look dangerous for him to think that way?
Huminga muna siya ng malalim saka nagsalita. "Dapat pa bang itanong 'yan? Girl you're crazy and I need you out of my sight pronto!" He also clapped his hands twice to emphasize his last word.
"Sheeez dude! I'm not crazy, okay? May pinagtataguan lang talaga ako and by the way can I call someone using your phone?" Bait- baitan kong saad. I'm trying to be nice here.
"NO!" At mabilis pa sa kidlat niyang hinablot sa kamay ko yung gamit niya.
I'm mentally cursing him while having a scheme on how to take him head-on but I need to keep my cool or else tonight I'll end up in prison. So I just deeply closed my eyes before talking. "Fine. I'll get you anything you want after this. How much do you need just to let me hide inside your car? I'm willing to—" It was his turn to cut me mid-sentence.
"Hey woman! Baka nakakalimutan mo nasa loob ka ng sasakyan ng taong hindi mo kilala. Don't you think you're too stupid coming in here? Take note I am a drunk stranger, wouldn't you be uncomfortable around me?!" Inis siyang nakatingin sa akin habang hinihintay niya akong sumagot.
Tinignan ko siyang maiigi.
"I won't be."
He snickered. "And how come?"
Tinignan ko siya para salubungin ang mga mata niya. "Are you the type of human who would make me feel unsafe?"
"Since I'm effeminate and you're a freaking woman, my answer would be ye—"
"Well, you don't look like someone who can hurt people... and I'm not stupid. I'm just too scared to be caught by that someone so I came in here with you. So can you help me?" Diretsahang sagot ko.
"Still no." Matigas niyang saad. "And don't you dare bribe me with your filthy money bec—"
Hindi ko na siya nahayaang pang makatapos sa sinasabi niya nang mabilis ko nang tinakpan ang bibig niya gamit ang mga palad ko dahil nakatayo na sa tapat ng sasakyan namin si Chris. Heavily tinted naman yung sasakyan pero hindi gaano yung sa windshield kaya kita pa rin kaming nasa loob. I also know that cars are made to be soundproof pero mahirap na, baka marinig niya pa rin kami mula sa labas.
Medyo pinagpapawisan na akong malamig sa sitwasyon kong ito, pakiramdam ko nasa isa akong thriller movie kung saan malapit na akong mahanap ng serial killer. Hindi rin nakakatulong ang baklang 'to dahil todo kung pumiglas na akala mo parang gagahasain. May pa- hampas-hampas pa ng bintana ang walangya. Napaka- OA. Parang gusto ko na lang sakalin e. Hindi niya ba alam ang salitang "pakisama"? Kairita!
At kahit ayokong tumingin sa labas, hindi ko pa rin mapigilang huwag hanapin ng mga mata ko si Chris. Hindi rin naman ako nabigo. I found him there standing in front of the hood. Heavily breathing and kinda sweaty.
Pinapaypayan niya ang kanyang sarili gamit ang kanyang kamay saka inis niyang sinipa ang batong nasa paanan niya at namewang. I can see that he's still trying his best to search for me. Nakita kong kinuha niya ang kaniyang cellphone mula sa bulsa saka may ni-dial siyang kungsino at agad din naman itong sumagot. He looked frustrated... and hurt at the same time. Sa nakikita kong Chris ngayon, parang gusto ko na lang agad siyang patawarin. Ayoko na siyang makita pang nahihirapan.
Maiiyak na naman sana ako kung hindi lang umepal ang baklang nasa harapan ko. "Get your dirty hands off me!" Sabay tapik ng kamay ko sa bibig niya. Biglang sumigaw ba naman kaya medyo napalingon sa dako namin ang ex kong abala sa pakikipag- usap sa telepono. So I was left with no choice.
With eyes closed, I shut his mouth with mine.
Screw his kaartehan! Just look what he made me do! I don't want to do this but he forced me to! It's the only way I can think of for God's sake. I know damn well that I will fucking regret this but who cares? I'll just handle his wrath later because right now, I badly need him to save my languishing sanity and my dying ego.
I am also aware that he's still undergoing a physical and nervous shock kaya sinamantala ko na. I grabbed his nape into me and deepened the kiss. His lips didn't move but I felt him stiffened.
Tinignan ko si Chris sa gilid ng mga mata ko. I saw him standing in an approximate of three meters away from us. Nakatalikod na siya saamin kumpara kaninang medyo nakaharap. Ilang sandali pa, ibinaba niya na ang tawag saka gumalaw na sa pagkakatayo at umalis.
That's the moment I held myself away from him. He looked at me absentmindedly while I chase my breath to death.
This is totally awkward.
I can't even look at him directly. I'm now caught on a complete embarrassment! Fuck! I could also feel my blood gushing right into my face. What should I do? What should I tell him? Should I apologize? "I'm sorry—"
Bigla akong napagitla dahil bigla siyang sumigaw. "Do you have a fucking death wish?!" Kita ko ring natauhan pa lang siya dahil sa mabilis at exaggerated niyang pag- inhale-exhale. Parang hindi rin siya nagbibiro sa sinabi niya dahil mukha na siyang papatay. He's now going hysteric. Damn. Am I really gonna die?
Sinubukan ko ulit magpaliwanag pero mukhang wala siyang balak makinig panay lang siyang bulong ng "Forgive me father for I have sinned" again and again which made me obliviously laugh.
"Walang hiya ka talaga 'no? You're still here and dared to laugh at me?! Come here bitch! Susungalngalin talaga kita sa oras na mahawakan kita!" At mabilis na siyang bumaba ng sasakyan. I felt alarmed so I incoherently fidget on my seat. Bago ko pa mabuksan ang pinto ko, naunahan niya na ako.
Akmang hahawakan niya na ang buhok ko para hilain nang tinabing ko agad ang kamay niya. Gosh! Is he real? Totoong sasabunutan niya ako?! He is indeed gay! "Dude back off! Not my hair, okay? I'm so sorry about what I have done awhile ago! I was just caught up in the moment kasi nasa harapan na natin mismo yung ex ko. Hindi ko na alam kung anong dapat kong gawin."
"Shut the fuck up and stop making dumb excuses! Walang kapatawaran ang ginawa mo saakin haliparot ka! Hindi talaga maiaalis sa katawan ng mga babae ang pagiging malandi ano? Pati mga katulad ko hindi niyo pinapalampas!" Pagkatapos niyang sabihin 'yon, walang sabi sabi niyang hinila ang kanang braso ko at pilit akong pinalalabas sa sasakyan niya. "Bumaba ka na ditong bitchesa ka! Kanina pa ako nanggigigil sa'yo ah! Halika dito!"
His freaking strength is no joke. Nang hindi ako makababa dahil hindi ko pa nasusuot yung sapatos kong hinubad kanina, malakas niya akong hinigit palabas kaya muntik na akong sumubsob sa lupa. "Teka lang muna! Yung pumps ko nasa loob pa!" Singhal ko sakanya nang akmang ibabalibag niya na yung pinto pasara. Pero ang walangya may pinindot lang na kung ano dun saka tinuloy paring isara yung pinto. What the heck? Bingi ba siya?
Pagkatapos niyang gawin 'yon, maarte siyang bumaling saakin na may kasama pang pagtataray ng kilay niyang makapal. "Manigas ka diyan. Bahala ka sa buhay mo!" At agad siyang naglakad papasok ulit ng sasakyan niya para paandarin ito.
I don't care if I look like a freaking street child pero mabilis ko ring nilapitan ang kaharap kong pinto para subukang buksan ito pero shit naka- lock na ito. Ah ganon?
Kinuha ko yung natitira kong kaliwang sapatos at pinagpupukpok ang bintana niya. Hindi ko makita ang mukha niya sa salamin pero alam kong nangangalaiti na naman ang baklang 'yon sa ginawa ko. Well, wala akong pakialam kung mabasag ko man 'tong bintana niya, ang importante makuha ko 'yong naiwan kong sapatos sa loob.
Pero ang walang pusong kupal pinaandar agad yung sasakyan at iniwan akong naka- paa. To my dismay, my mouth dropped half open. He's unbelievable! I can't believe such creature exist in this world! Napakasama ng ugali!
I can't contain my annoyance anymore so I shouted on top of my lungs. "Bwiset!" At nagsimula na akong maglakad para hanapin yung lintik na sasakyan ni Tricia. If I'll see that fucking car, I'll surely give some good kicking on its wheels.
But with just few steps, I heard some beeping of a car horn so I looked. And to my surprise the freaking devil came back with a smirk on his face. Nakabukas na rin yung pinukpok kong bintana kanina.
"I just came back because I forgot to tell you, goodbye Cinderella! Pfffft." At tawang tawa niya muling pinaandar ang kotse niya. Sa inis ko binato ko na lang sa kanya yung isa ko pang pumps na sakto namang pumasok dun sa bintana.
"Sa'yo na rin 'yan buwesit ka! Saksak mo sa dibdib mong gawa sa silicone!" Pahabol ko habang pinapadyak ang mga paa ko sa lupa. Sa totoo lang wala naman talaga siyang dibdib, gusto ko lang siyang inisin pabalik.
But in the end, I'm still the loser. I'll be walking my way barefooted! This is the worst night ever.