Violet
“Ridiculous! Absolutely ridiculous! He just missed that shot! Oh, man, it was right there. Unbelievable.”
I sit up and sigh, turning my gaze away from the football on screen to face Liam. “Do you mind if we watch something else?” There’s really only so much soccer I can take.
Liam shifts beside me on the bed, the small TV he brought for his room sitting on the edge. “Oh. Sure, babe.”
I pick up the remote and start skimming through the channels, finding something decent to watch. It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon and Liam and I have been relaxing the whole day with each other. It’s nice to be able to spend proper time with him. I find I’ve really missed it. I come to the movie channels and stop on the ‘Old Classics’ as I realise what’s playing.
“What’s this?” Liam asks.
I smile. “Top Gun.”
My eyes follow the characters in the aircraft's on screen, laughing as Maverick and Goose banter back and forth. Before I can settle down and begin watching, Liam makes a sound of disgust.
“I hate these old movies,” he says. “Look at the quality! The camera’s basically shaking. And everything’s so fuzzy, you can barely see.”
I just look at him, a little shocked. “That’s … that’s not really the point,” I tell him. “It’s the stories, the acting, the costumes.”
Liam just shrugs. “There’s gotta be something better on.” Then, just like that, he changes the channel. The old setting transforms into a high definition action scene with explosions so real you almost feel the heat. But that’s all the movie seems to have going for it. “Oh, yeah! A Bruce Willis movie. Now those are good movies.”
There’s nothing I can really say, so I just sit back and pretend to enjoy the movie as much as Liam is.
----
“What do you think of this?” Liam hands me his essay the next day in English. “Does it make sense?”
I quickly scan the first few paragraphs and smile, giving him a thumbs up before handing the essay back. “It’s great, perfect.” I hand him mine. “Now, you do me.”
He reads my own before looking back at me. “First line needs more of a statement. I say change it so it’s not a question.”
“You’re right. That’s perfect!” I lean forward and we give each other a quick peck on the lips before I return my focus to my essay and scribble out the first sentence.
I hear a pen drop onto the floor beside me and go to pick it up for the person that dropped it. “Oh! Here you go …” I swallow a little before offering a small smile to Zayn. “Uh, here.”
He just nods. “Thanks.” Then he goes back to his table.
“Morning, everyone!” Mrs. Whittaker walks into the room, tearing my everlasting gaze away from the side of Zayn’s face towards her. “Trust you’re all ready for the second to last week of school. Essays out, please, and we’ll begin by discussing them.”
As the teacher comes down and collects every single essay, I steal another look at Zayn. I know I shouldn’t be doing so, but it’s too hard not to. I really want to know what he’s thinking.
“Alright. Peter Pan. By writing these essays I wanted you to all fully understand the incredibly complex meaning that this story has. It’s more than a fairytale, as you all should know, and I hope you have all uncovered the hidden truth. Who’d like to start by sharing their thoughts?” Mrs. Whittaker’s sharp eyes focus on all of us as she stands at the front of the room. “James. Go ahead.”
“Uh, well, I think that the big idea was fear,” he explains.
“Fear? Would you care to explain further?”
“Like, uh, well, Peter’s stubbornness was reduced down to fear. In turn it ruled his life.”
I start to get a little feeling …
Liam then raises his hand and Mrs. Whittaker nods at him. “I disagree,” he explains. “Peter was not scared, the guy was fearless. He was an absolute troublemaker, if we all remember correctly. He believed too much, he was a dreamer, and he didn’t want to be ruined by reality. I don’t think he was scared, but just wild. He believed in things others didn’t.”
“That’s what he hid behind,” Zayn interrupts, sending all eyes, especially mine, towards him. He just stares ahead casually, slumped in his chair as he plays with his pen. “He was fearless in his own world, because that’s what he knew best. He was a hero, the good guy, the one person that could defeat anything. Strong as anything. But I think we’re all forgetting his biggest weakness.” Zayn turns and locks his jaw. “Wendy.”
“Wendy?” Liam repeats.
Zayn’s gaze lowers. “He was infatuated with her. Think about it. He offered her everything, he offered her his entire world. Neverland was his place, his kingdom, and he offered it to Wendy.” Then his eyes find mine. “But she said no.”
I quickly look away, my throat raw.
“What about Tinkerbell?” Another guy yells out. “The kid loved her.”
Zayn laughs lightly. “Tink loved Peter. It was the other way around.”
“So what are you saying?” Liam presses. “Was Peter scared, or not?”
“Of growing up?” Zayn shakes his head. “No. Not in the way you’re all thinking of. He wasn’t afraid of being an adult, leaving his world. He was afraid of life without Wendy.”
“Hey, mate, I don’t remember Peter Pan being a Nicholas Sparks novel,” a guy from the back snickers.
Zayn turns to him. “I don’t remember giving you the right to speak, mate.”
“Alright, boys, settle down. Zayn, everyone has the right to participate in this debate. That is a very good viewpoint on your behalf, Zayn. Anyone else want to argue?”
“That’s stupid,” Liam says. “That wasn’t the meaning at all. If Barrie wanted a love story, he would’ve made it one.”
“Did I ever say it was a love story?” Zayn snaps.
“Peter fearing life without Wendy? You didn’t need to.”
“That’s not a love story,” I speak up for the first time. “Peter found something in Wendy that was so much bigger than the world he lived in. Doesn’t mean it was love.”
“Didn’t she get treated as the mum of the place?” A girl asks. “Maybe Peter found safety in Wendy, because she was the only resemblance to an adult.”
“But then he would’ve wanted to grow up,” another guy says.
“He didn’t want to be and adult,” Zayn says, “just feel the guidance of one.”
“Wait, so now Peter’s in love with his mum?” Another guy yells out.
“Not his mum, but a protector. A guide.”
“Hang on, Peter hated Wendy for looking after the lost boys. He got all pissy – didn’t even talk to her.”
“Because he was so used to being on his own that the love of someone else freaked him out. He wasn’t used to finding comfort in something so unknown, so not in his comfort zone.”
I look at Zayn, who’s too busy arguing to even notice me. My chest tightens.
“That makes sense,” one of the girls says. “He got so used to Wendy that he almost relied on her to live. So he asked her to stay, never leave him.”
“But she left,” Liam says. “So explain that, huh? Explain how Wendy felt no guilt for leaving Peter, if Peter needed her so much.”
Zayn shrugs. “Because she was a bitch.”
A few people laugh and Mrs. Whittaker, who’s watching the whole scene with curious eyes, steps in. “You’re all getting it. This is wonderful. You’re developing the deeper meaning.”
I think of all the versions of the book I’ve seen as movies, the fairytale I loved as a child. And just now, I’m seeing it all in a whole new light. Maybe it’s because I relate to Peter so much, or maybe it’s because Zayn thinks I do. Or maybe it’s just because stories so simple always have deeper meaning. Things so simple have secrets hidden beneath the surface. Peter was scared, scared of change, scared of losing, scared of falling. Scared of living so alone.
“But Wendy loved Peter, too,” someone else says. “But Peter couldn’t love back. That’s why she went home. He couldn’t love Tinkerbell, and he couldn’t love Wendy.”
“He didn’t love her, huh?” Zayn says, with a bit more edge to his voice. “Why, just because he didn’t say it? He didn’t love her just because he didn’t show it like everyone else does? Maybe he didn’t know the feeling enough to display it. For so long he’s been used to his immortal world, same people, same thing every day. His mission, every single damn day, was to defeat Hook. Like, literally every day. Then Wendy just comes along, in her little damn nightgown and blue eyes, like the bitch she is. And she just ruins everything. She turns his entire life around. Peter loved Wendy with all that he could give. You could tell, hell, you could tell so quickly, by how ready, and how willing Peter was to risk everything for her. By how damn afraid he was of life without her.”
Why is he doing this? It’s over. We agreed on that, together. “Did anyone ever stop to think about how Wendy felt?” I cry. “She never wanted to grow up, but her parents forced her. She wasn’t allowed to stay young and silly, because that was out of the question. She had to look after her brothers. You know, maybe, maybe, Wendy was just doing what she knew was right. She went home because she couldn’t just risk everything to stay young forever. She needed to carry on with life because life carries on, no matter what. She couldn’t just stay in Neverland with some boy! But even then, she never forgot about him. I mean, GIVE THE GIRL A BREAK!”
Everyone just looks at me and I sink into my chair, painting. “Just saying,” I say softly.
“Okay, sure, blame it all on Peter!” Zayn cries. “He offered her his world.”
I look at him. “And she said no. Because she already had her own.”
He goes quiet and then just nods, sighing a little. “Yeah. Yeah, she did.”
It’s silent for a bit and then some guy speaks up. “You’re all taking it way too out of proportion. Indians, pirates, fairies and a magical world where you never grew up? Guys, seriously, Peter was mentally insane and most likely high. The whole story is a case of schizophrenia. J. M. Barrie was a lunatic.”
More silence as everyone processes that bit of information, and then I burst out laughing. Then more people join in, Liam, Zayn, even Mrs. Whittaker. The entire class just laughs collectively and none of us even know why we’re laughing. But it feels nice to finally feel apart of something, and not feel so bad about it.
-----
I reach Chemistry and take a seat at my usual table, pulling out my books and pens. The class chatters loudly around me but I take no notice of it. I’m just flicking through my textbook when a sudden yell startles me.
“Hey!” Avery cries, chewing on a red stick of licorice. She leans against the edge of my table, her breasts almost exploding out of her shirt that has the top buttons undone. She points the licorice at me. “Graduation. Plans. Go.”
“Uh, plans? I don’t have any.”
“You mean you’re not doing anything after graduation?” She gasps. She takes another bite. “Good. You’re coming with Niall and I.”
I shake my head quickly. “Hell no.”
Avery looks hurt. “What? Why not?”
“Please, Avery, I don’t want to spend time with you and Niall alone. Plus, I’m going home before I start college.” I haven’t made actual set in stone kind of plans yet, but I’m going home for Christmas, so why not just go over straight away? Liam and I will be together, so there’s really nowhere else I feel the need to go.
Avery pouts. “Fiiiine. But we must all do something before we all leave.”
I can’t stop staring at her breasts. “Um, Avery … you’re kind of exposed.”
She looks down. “Oh!” Then she undoes another button. “This is my new bra. You like it?”
I look around with wide eyes. “Avery! What are you doing?!”
“The lace is nice, huh? I got matching underwear, too. Wanna see?”
I put my hands over her chest. “N-No thanks. Now cover yourself up, would you?”
She sighs and then Zayn arrives. He looks Avery up and down and I’m disgusted. His best friend’s girlfriend? Really? “New bra, Ave?”
“Yeah!” Avery cries in excitement. “You like it?”
Zayn laughs, setting his books down. “It’s nice. Maybe too nice for everyone else to see, huh? You might want to button yourself up.”
Avery smiles. “Oh, okay.” She does as we’ve instructed and then flies off to her seat.
I laugh casually. “She’s actually crazy.”
Zayn just shakes his head. “Sure is.”
We fall into an awkward silence. I don’t know exactly what we’re meant to feel, or how we’re meant to act, but I don’t like this. Because this is so much worse than how we were before. We have nothing to talk about, and it’s so hard to stay away from each other.
“Hey, uh, about what happened in English …” Zayn begins slowly.
“Oh, yeah …” I reply. “Me too.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, this is horrible. Surely we can be friends, huh?” Zayn turns to me, tie over his shoulder.
I match his uneasy smile with my own. “Of course! Yeah! Of course we can. I mean, that’d be fine. Friends. Totally.”
“Just friends,” he says. “Totally cool.”
I make some sound that’s a mix between a snort and a muffled cry. “Totally!”
Awkward silence again.
Zayn goes to speak, then closes his mouth. He does this about ten times before finally speaking. “Uh, how’s …” he chokes, “Liam?”
“Uh, good,” I say simply.
He just nods. “Cool.”
“Yeah.”
“Niall’s good,” he says.
“Oh. Great. I was … wondering that.”
“Yeah.”
“Uh, it’s really hot today, right?” I glance outside at the sunny weather.
Zayn nods, moving his whole body back and forth. “Yup.”
More silence, and every single thing in my body is awkward. I am feeling the awkward with my bare hands. I rub my sweaty palms on my skirt. “This isn’t working,” I state.
“Yeah, fuck this,” Zayn says. “I’m going to sit over there.” He stands up and collects his books.
“Yeah. Okay. Good. Yes. Bye.”
“Bye.”
We both pull our heads down and for the rest of the class we don’t even associate with each other.
Graduation, hurry up.
-------
“Get me a peach lemonade please, darling?” Avery waves at me from her spot on the couch in the entertainment room. I roll my eyes but walk towards the kitchen, fetching her a bottle from the fridge before handing it back to her.
“Thanks, doll!” She cries.
“Can I please have the TV now?”
She shakes her head. “Happy Days isn’t over.”
I groan. “You said that thirty minutes ago!”
She just looks at me. “It’s a marathon, honey.”
I give up entirely. Just as I’m walking out of the room I spy the dartboard hanging up in the corner of the room. Looking around, I rush over to it.
I grab some darts from the side shelf and stand back. I like this game. Maybe that’s because I won when playing Zayn, but I actually think I’m really good at it. And I like things I’m good at. Who knows, maybe I’ll become a champion darts player.
I start throwing my darts at the board, playing a game all on my own. I’m on my third round when feel someone come up beside me. Turning, I find Zayn.
He watches the board as I throw my last dart, hitting the bullseye, and he just gives a small smirk. Then he grabs his own darts. “Wanna game?”
I look at him like he’s crazy. “A game? With me?”
He points to his left. “No, I was asking Julia Roberts beside me here.”
I smile a little before stepping aside. “Sure.”
He laughs and steps up to the line. “What are we playing? Around The World?” He aims his dart.
“Sure,” I say again, admiring the way his bicep looks flexed the way it is.
He throws his dart and it lands right away on one. He glances back at me and I advert my eyes quickly. He laughs a little before focusing back ahead.
I don’t really know what’s happening, but for once things seem okay, so I’m letting them be. I step up to the line and take my turn.
We just play. Occasionally we’ll talk, but only to point out something. Other than that, it’s silence. And it’s a comfortable silence. Neither of us feel like we have to speak, because if we do we’ll most likely ruin the moment.
“Is that on the ten?”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s on the ten.”
I’ve missed the times that I could feel so comfortable with Zayn. He was really the only person I could feel like that around, so at ease and at peace. I miss the times when there were no complications. But then I realise that we hardly ever have those moments, because something always happens.
“That’s not on fifteen,” I point out.
“What? Of course it is,” Zayn replies.
“It’s not!”
“Are you calling me blind?”
“I don’t know. Am I?”
“I don’t know. I’m asking you.”
“Maybe I am then. Because your dart is clearly not on the fifteen.”
Zayn throws his hands up in the air. “Okay. I get it. You’re still mad at me.”
“Mad?” I cry. “At what?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know.”
“I’m not acting.”
“Hm, where have I heard that before?”
I snort. “Oh! Sure! Let’s just bring that back up, shall we?”
“Why fucking not!”
“You set yourself up for this,” I snap.
“Oh, really? And how did I do that?” He snaps back.
“I don’t know … but you did.”
“Good one.”
I groan loudly. “This is what you always do. Every damn time. Can’t we just play one game of darts peacefully?”
“With you? I’d rather stab myself in the eye! With my own dart!”
“You’re the one that asked me to play.”
“Well excuse me for trying to make things okay between us,” he cries.
“You’re so excused. Excused from my life.”
“What the hell does that even mean?!”
“You take Extension English. Figure it out for yourself. Oh! And another thing, try and keep your personal feelings out of your class debates.”
“Says you, Miss Wendy.”
“You drive me absolutely insane!” I cry.
“Likewise!”
I take a deep breath. “Finish the game yourself. I’m leaving.”
Then comes his reply, snappy, quick, and totally menacing. “You’ve done it enough to know the gesture.”
I just look at him, eyes squinted. “Absolute asshole,” I mumble before leaving the room and exiting into the hall. Because he is. He is an absolute asshole. Maybe I should request for it to be put into Collins Dictionary, and right under will be nothing else but Zayn’s name.
I stomp angrily back to my dorm.
I had no idea what to do in this chapter so its gay, and I apologise. Im just trying to do lil fill ins bc obvs graduation and the end of school is the next big part and the end of the story!! But I don't think I can do that for much longer idkkkkkkkkk. I really like how you all felt things and feels from the last chapter, BC I DID TOO, and not that I dont already know but it just shows me how invested you are into this story. I keep getting heaps of people asking me if there'll be a sequel, and maybe none of you read my authors notes idk but I have declared already that I'll be doing a series with all the boys that'll involve ziolet in all. So its like an ongoing sequel. You'll be able to follow ziolet's future as well as finding out what the other boys do. So everyone wins. I'm going to be posting the description to my new fanfic soon!! So keep an eye out for daaattt - it'll be Harry's story. Ok ive rambled enough later skateeerrrrzzzzz xxxx