- Glaiza -
"Ok ka lang ba Lablab? Don't you feel anything strange? In case na may hindi maganda sa pakiramdam mo, let mo know... Ok?"
Kasalukuyan kaming nasa event ni Rhian... My album is nominated for as people's choice award under the category of newest breakthrough single of the year.
She insisted to come with me kaya pinagbigyan ko na although may pag aalala sa loob ko na baka mapagod lang sya.
"Don't worry Lab, I'm so fine... And I can't wait for you to win." Her smile was so bright
"Wow! So much confidence huh..."
"Oo naman. Ikaw pa ba? Galing galing mo kaya saka ang gaganda naman ng mga songs mo talaga e."
"But remember, there's Daya, Charlie (Puth) and Tove Lo in the list Lablab..."
"Bakit, wala kang tiwala sa sarili mo? Ay nako... Paano ka mananalo nyan? Basta maniwala ka sakin... Deserve to ng music mo"
Her spirit was lifted too high so is there any reason for me not to lift mine too?
Hinalikan ko ang hawak hawak kong kamay nya and then I tried to give her my 100 watt smile.
"And the people's choice award for the newest breakthrough single of the year goes to..." Pabitin na sabi ng host saka tumunog ang audio na drum rolls.
Parang binabayo ang dibdib ko... I know I am not expecting anything from this dahil ang mga kalaban ko sa kayegoryang iyon ay may malaki nang pangalan sa industriya pero gaya ng sinabi ni Rhian, I need to believe coz my music deserves it kaya dinadayo din ako nang matinding kaba.
"Synthesis by Glaiza de Castro!!!"
Sumunod ay masigabong na palakpakan ng mga tao sa loob ng venue
Hindi naman ako makapaniwala sa narinig kaya't para akong na freeze sa kinauupuan ko...
"Lablab! Nanalo ka! I told you!!!" Masayang sambit ni Rhian at napatayo pa sa kanyang kinauupuan at hinila ako
"Ano pang hinihintay mo... Tumayo ka na jan at umakyat ka na don dali" dagdag pa nya at panay ang talon
Para akong lutang sa alapaap at tuliro... I am totally in state of shock... Naramdaman ko ang iilang humihila sa akin at tumutulak para makatayo ako.
Ang daming nagko-congratulate sa akin na ibang mga artist pero wala akong naisagot dahil parang nanigas ang dila ko... Ngingiti-ngiti na lang ako sa mga ito habang inaabot nila ang kamay ko at kinakamusta.
Wala sa sarili akong umakyat sa entablado... Mula sa kinatatayuan ko, bumalik ang paningin ko sa iisang bahagi ng venue... Kung saan nakaupo si Rhian.
Tanaw na tanaw ko pa din ang masaya nyang mukha and somehow, it calm my nerves.
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen...I should admit I was a bit stunned when I learned about my nomination and I am not expecting this moment so I really want to thank everyone especially those who trusted me and my music... To the people who voted my album all around the globe, thank you very very much guys. You've made my dreams a reality..." Emotional kong sabi habang hawak hawak ko ang ibinigay nilang tropeyo.
"And of course, to someone who became my biggest inspiration in every song that I've made... Though I'd been through the pain before, it's all paid off coz now, she gave me so much of love and inspiration... And strength too... She's right there..." Ani ko sabay turo sa babaeng halos ay nakapwesto sa tapat ko pero sa babdang gitna lng ng row.
Nagsilingunan naman ilang mga tao sa direksyong itinuro ko.
"Rhian, you're always telling me that I am one of your strength but it's another way around... Everyday, you're the reason why I keep my life going... Why I do this things... Why I can make music... It's all because of you... And so, I want to thank you for that coz you help me believe in myself and took away my doubts... This is for you Lablab" sabay taas ko sa trophy na hawak ko na para bang pinapakita ko sa kanya
"And lastly, to the big man up there for not giving up on me when I almost did... With a high spirit, all my praises and honor to him. Once again, thank you very much!"
Muli kong itinaas ang hawak kong trophy at nag bow sa harap ng crowd... Sya namang pag ugong ng buong paligid na napuno nang palakpakan.
Ano pa ba ang hihilingin ko sa buhay? Lahat meron na ako, tanging ang paggaling na lang ni Rhian ang kailangan ko...
...
After the event, kaliwat kanan na ang mga paparazzi at media na nakaabang sa labas ng gusali... Kanya kanyang iwas at style din ang ibang mga celebrity to get through the commotion.
"Mamaya na tayo lumabas lab... Masyado pang siksikan... Mamaya e maipit ka sa kanila."
"Oo nga e... Ang dami talagang nakaabang na press... Nagkakacongestion tuloy sa labasan."
Nanatili kami sa aming pwesto.
"Hi Glaiza... Congratulations!!! Im so proud of you!" Napalingon ako sa babaeng nagsalita.
Si Ariana (Grande) pala... Alongside is Selena (Gomez) and Taylor (Swift) na nanalo din sa iba pang categories.
Isa isang bumati ang mga ito sa akin at bumeso. Ganon din kay Rhian.
"So you're the lucky girl... It's so nice to meet you... What's your name again beautiful lady?" Tanong ni Selena kay Rhian
"Im Rhian... Glaiza's bestfriend"
Ano daw? Bestfriend??
"Oh, I see. I thought you're Glaiza's new girl... You know, I saw you in some news and paparazzi shots... I'm sorry for assuming" -Taylor
"Don't mention it Tay, well, not all we saw in the news are right... I'm you're aware of that guys..."
Naramdaman ko ang paghigpit ng kapit ni Rhian sa braso ko.
Bigla akong nakaramdam ng kirot sa puso ko...
Bestfriend??? After all this time?
Ganon lang pala talaga ang tingin nya sakin?
"But you look good together... You guys are cute, I swear... I heard about your situation Rhian and by the time that Glaiza shaved off her hair, I know she'd done it for you... Isn't that sweet?" Ani ni Ariana
"In fact I was touched coz I never expect that... I never see Glaiza walk comfortably down the street with a bald head but look at her... Such a hottie!" -Rhian
So nag assume nanaman ba ako??? Na ang mga nangyayari sa pagitan namin ay wala naman palang ibig sabihin sa kanya? Ako lang ba ang nag iisip na may intimacy between us?
Goddamn it Glaiza!
Pero ano nga ba ang namamagitan sakin? Wala naman talaga diba? Not even before, hindi naman naging kami...
You never asked a single question to clear things up Glaiza... Nag assume ka lang... Nag assume ka lang pero hindi ka sigurado!
Tama... Baka naman kasi ayaw nya din mag assume coz I never get straight on to it... Oo na at lagi kong sinasabi sa kanya na mahal ko sya but maybe she just misunderstood...
Kaya ba hindi sya nagrerespond sa tuwing nag a-ILoveYou ako sa kanya?
I should asked her...
"If I were you, I should not let her go... She's a good catch..." Saad ni Selena sabay kindat kay Rhian
"Anyway, we have to go guys... Again, congratulations Glaiza... See you around" ani ni Ariana sabay beso ulit sakin.
"Thanks a lot Ari"
"And nice meeting you ofcourse..." Baling pa nito kay Rhian
Saglit na nagpaalaman ang lahat hanggang sa tuluyan na din kaming nagkahiwa-hiwalay
...
Nagkaroon kaming tatlo ng maliit na salo salo sa naging tagumpay ko. Although I have an invitation for an after-event-party, tinanggihan ko ito dahil unang una ay alam kong pagod na si Rhian sa gabing yun, mas mainam na umuwi na kami at makapagpahing sya, and of course, I like to spend my time with her and Tita Lay...
I do skype with my family too at naging mas masaya ang hapag namin...
Im still thinking about asking Rhian to officially put a name in our relationship... So everyone stops assuming especially me dahil parang masakit pa din sa akin na matawag na bestfriend kahit alam ko namang higit pa don ang namamagitan saming dalawa.
"Your tea Madam..." Sabi ko kay Rhian nang pumasok ako sa kwarto na may bitbit na tray na man tasa ng tsaa...
Nakita kong nakasandal ito sa kama hawak nanaman ang isang librong ilang araw na nyang binabasa.
"Oww... Thanks Glai..." Saad nya sabay lapag ng hawak at tinanggal ang kanyang eyeglasses.
Umusog ito ng konti sa gitna at syang pag upo ako sa tabi nya.
"Careful, it's hot" I handed her the tray
Ipinatong nya ito sa unan na nasa lap nya but before she took the cup, mabilis ko itong kinuha at hinipan muna...
I know I can't make it cold that fast but at least it lessen a bit
"Here..." Saka ko inabot sa kanya ang tasa
She blow it a little more then slowly have a sip on it... Habang ako ay nakamasid lang sa kanya.
Ilang beses syang humigop ng tsaa and I can see that she's enjoying my treat.
Inakbayan ko sya and then she rest her head on my shoulder as she put down the cup back on the tray.
"Rhian,.." I called
"Hhhhmmmmm?"
"I hope you know how much I love you..."
"I did... And I hope you do know how much happiness I feel and lucky because of that..."
"Tungkol don sa tanong ni Selena... You said you're my bestfriend... I know we are but you know that I feel more than that... How about you Rhian? Kaibigan lang ba talaga ang tingin mo sakin?"
Dahan dahan itong humiwalay sakin...
She never say a word as she look at me straight in the eye, I suddenly feel some chill running down to my spine.
There's a glitters in her eyes as her lips invites me to come over...
Im like a slave that can't resist her charm.
Akma na akong hahalik sa kanya nang bigla nya akong pinigilan...
"Glaiza stop..." Madiin nitong sabi
Bigla akong nakaramdam ng pagkapahiya sa sarili ko. Ibig ba sabihin nun e talagang hindi gaya ng nararamdaman ko ang nararamdaman nya?
"Im sorry" then I held myself up and leave
Pero hindi ko natuloy ang paglabas at nilingon ko uli sya
"Actually, sorry but I'm not sorry."
My eyes started to get teary coz I'm feeling it again. Rejection. I'm trying not to pitty myself pero para na talaga akong nagmumukhang tanga sa sitwasyong to...
"Ano ba talaga ang wala sakin? Ano pa ba ang dapat kong gawin Rhian?! You think I'm just dying to sleep with you? Have sex with you?! Can't you see it? I'm dying for you to love me... Ginawa ko na ang lahat... Iniwasan kita, nilayuan kita... Sinubukang kalimutan,,. Sumama sa iba... But I can't! I can't get this feeling over... Ilang beses kong binabaliwala ang kirot sa puso ko kapag sinasabi kong mahal kita at sinasagot mo lang ako nang thank you... I keep shaming myself over and over again pero anong magagawa ko?! Tell me Rhian, when will you love me?! When will I finally be worthy of your love?! Sabihin mo sakin, kelan? Dahil maghihintay ako,.. Kakayanin ko kahit gaano katagal coz I know I deserve that love!"
Hindi umimik si Rhian... Sa halip ay tumayo ito at padabog na lumabas.
"Im talking to you..." Ani ko sa kanya as I grabe her arms nang dumaan ito sa tapat ko
Buong lakas nya akong winaksi at tuluyan nang lumabas ng kwarto...
"Rhian... Glaiza... Anong nangyayari?" Magkahalong pagtataka at pag alala ang mukha nang sumasalubong sa aming ginang na kakalabas lang din ng kanyang kwarto.
"Please go to sleep Mom... Don't worry... We're fine." Saka dumiretcho si Rhian sa may kusina
"Yan... Jan ka magaling... Tumahimik at mag walk out... Say something Rhian! Wag mokong tinatalikuran na lang lagi!"
Pero ikinagulat ko nang may dinampot ito sa may mesa at ibinagsak sa sahig. Basag.
"Ah gusto mo basagan... Teka,.." Mabilis akong lumapit sa kitchen counter at dinampot ang rice cooker
"Glaiza rice cooker yan!"
"Wal akong pakialam... Let this break too!!!"
"What do you want me to do Glaiza?! Lie to you??? This is how I want you, to be my bestfriend... This is how I need you!"
"I don't want to be your fucking bestfriend! Lie to me tutal mamamatay ka na din naman... Lie even once Rhian... Tell me that you love me the way I do!"
"Please Glaiza, don't do this... This is the best honesty I did in my life... This is love."
"No! This isn't love... Not even a bit! This is stupidity!"
"Glaiza listen, this is love for me... People have different views and for me, ito yun... This is bigger than love... Don't you know that you are the greatest love of my life?!"
"Well, I don't want your style of love!"
"Glaiza, you're my bestfriend, my sister, my everything... You're not just my lover..."
"Why not?! I can be your lover too!"
"Makinig kang mabuti sakin Glaiza... This thing between us... Our friendship, it makes me stronger... My greatest strength... But everytime I feel like loving you so much, it destroys me... It makes me weak... Mas natatakot ako dahil ayokong iwan ka! You become my fears Glaiza...Why don't you understand that?!"
"Because two people who obviously love each other cannot be just friends Rhian!"
Biglang napalugmok si Rhian sa sahig at humagolgol ng iyak...
Gustuhin ko mang lapitan sya pero hindi ko ginawa...
Maya maya ay tumayo din ito.
"I can't explain this to you anymore dahil hindi mo naman ako maiintindihan... Mabuti pang umalis ka na muna... Go! Leave me..." Aniya sabay tulak sakin
She push me hanggang sa pintuan...
"Rhian, don't do this..."
"No.. You have to go for now... Ayoko na munang makita ka... Go now Glaiza"
Hindi nya ako tinigilan ng tulak hanggang sa labas ng apartment nya pagkatapas ay biglang isinara ang pinto
Ilang beses akong kumatok pero walang bumubukas. Nakalock ito at wala naman sa akin ang spare key ko.
"Rhian, open the door!" I screamed outside
No one opens it.
Ganon ba talaga ka komplikado ang lahat???
When will friendship understand love? Or vice versa?
=======================
AN:
How's everyone?
Here's a shot for you on Christmas... ✌️
Thank you for reading!
Merry Christmas ebribadeh!
❤️ RAIDENREDUX