Jordan glanced at the space that sat in front of her and tried not to choke. The gun slipped from her hand and clattered onto the ground. Right before her eyes, the two prisoners jumped to their own death. Instead of feeling relief that she hadn’t had to pull the trigger, she felt shocked and shaken up on the inside, and that fact puzzled her the most.
But why was that the case? They deserved it, this is what her father wanted so badly, or was it? He had told her that all she needed to do was capture them and bring them down to the hold town building, let them see all the people they held for disobeying or finding something out that concerned their organization.
Of course her father had taken the time to explain everything to her, that when he wasn’t home he was actually drug dealing and murdering people. That day, the feeling of betrayal was strong and the hatred was beginning to grow. Until he said that if Jordan helped his cause and his work, he’ll bring her mother back.
The woman who had went missing when she had her fifteenth birthday, just up and disappeared. It had left her grieving in bed for whole weeks and so when he offered that deal what else could she do? Now here she was, holding or was, having a gun in her hands, the power to kill someone within her. And yet, when those two risked their lives, to the point where they’ll drop off a twenty feet fall was beyond her.
Jordan made her way towards the latter that was so clever hidden. But only after picking up the gun she had dropped. If felt as if a hand was tightening around her heart as she made her way down the ladder, choking up her throat and making her pulse rise. She didn’t want to hurt anyone, but if she wanted to have her old life back this was the only way to do it.
Her father had given her precise instructions, she was to kill them.
“Evan.” The moan came out in his name and I felt the sharp pain in her head easing up just slightly, before slamming back in full force. I tried to move my legs and another jolt of red shocking pain soared through me. A lump formed in my throat as I tried to move my legs again and the pain jumped sky rocket. Why couldn’t I move my legs? Was I paralyzed? Did I break my back?
“Oh god, oh god, oh god no,” The words tumbled out of my mouth with panic as the pain dropped just a bit. Then I realized that my eyes were closed and my head was pressing against a hard cold and sticky ground. My head felt like it was spilt in two and my vision blurred as another bolt of pain went through me.
“Evan.” The word came out choked and half said and I tried again, more loudly, “Evan.”
A grumbling sound came from my right side and shuffling occurred before someone popped up in my eye sight.
“Kylie, are you okay?” His eyes seemed unfocused and his face was turned down in a grimace, yet he was scanning me for injuries.
I opened my mouth to reply, only to cough and gasp for breath that I couldn’t seem to take in anymore. That’s when the realization came to me, right at that moment. Something was lying on top of my back, something hard and heavy that was probably the reason why I couldn’t move my legs. My hands ached and I didn’t notice that I was clawing at the slightly muddy and hard ground, trying to get out from underneath what was on top of me.
Evan’s eyes slowly became clearer and when he looked me over again, his face paled. “Kylie, stop, just stop for a minute.”
At the sharpness and panic in his voice, I froze quickly and stared into his eyes, scared to look away. “W-what?”
My tongue was dead weight and it hurt to even form words. Evan moved out of vision and I screamed. “Evan, d-don’t… leave m-me.”
He popped back into view and glanced at me with an overwhelming about of worry in his face. “Kylie, I’ve got to get the board off you, just give me a sec.”
Even though I despised the idea completely, I gritted my teeth and nodded. When he disappeared again panic fluttered through my chest and the agony caused my vision to flare white. Oh my god, oh my god, please don’t do this to me, don’t make me suffer anymore. Why me? Why me? Why me? A choked sob came out of me and before I knew it I was bawling like a girl, again.
How many times was that now? My hands fisted tightly, my nails digging into my skin, as I bit on my bottom lip to keep strong tears on the inside. But they kept coming through my defenses and leaving me without any control. What happened to me? Why? I wish it would all stop, just life and everything. A feeling of helplessness and dread went through me as my vision darkened, only for me to realize that I had closed my eyes.
I could feel my mind slipping, trying to get to the darkness in my head. Why bother? Breathing was becoming difficult and each one I sucked in made my chest tighten and my lungs burned furiously. I heard Evan grunt and the weight on top of me shifted and moved.
Evan.
At the thought of him, my other thoughts shifted and turned. I couldn’t give up and leave him alone, not like all the other people he knew that left him. I couldn’t be another one to add to his list and break his heart. Desperation slipped through as the weight moved again, lifting off of me. The time was now and I had to do something.
Digging my elbows into the ground, I moved upwards, trying to crawl from underneath whatever was still hovering on top of me. The weight dropped back down and a jolt of pain went through me, causing my mind to black out and my vision to flash again. A whimper escaped my lips and liquid splashed against the top of my head, the smell of garbage and trash filled my nose.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Evan chanted quietly, either to himself or me or maybe both. Shuffling occurred in my ears again and before long the weight was being lifted off of me again. Taking a shattered and hard breath, I used to elbows and began again, agony flowing from my legs and going up all the way through my body.
I heard the sound of something dropping near my feet and I knew it was over. Exhaustion hit me hard and I flattened against the ground, taking quick breathes as my pulse drummed in my ears. Evan walked over to me and gripped my elbow, squatting down until his face came into my view.
“Okay,” Evan’s breath was just as quick as mines and his jaw was locked with pain, from where I couldn’t tell. “There’s a problem.”
A bitter laugh tried to escape my lips but when it came out it was nothing but a choking moan. A problem, when was there never a problem? When did we ever get a freaking break? A break that I wanted, a break that I wished would come and last forever. Did I get that one tiny little wish granted, no. Did anyone care? No. What was the damn point then? Why not give up?
Because you care about Evan, you want to be with him, you want to save your mother, and you want everything to be normal and happy.
Yeah, but everyone could want but not everyone could actually get. I was one of those people, the former; I wasn’t getting anything but pain and heartache. Why bother?
Evan’s eyes searched mines and I don’t know if he found what he was looking for, but his hand traveled from my elbow to grip my hand tightly.
“We’ve come this far, Kylie. Don’t give up now.”
Don’t give up? How do you not give up? Somebody tell me that. All of this was a joke, a bitter and sick joke, and nobody was going to make it. We were all going to die, not like it wasn’t going to happen eventually. The comforting darkness in my mind tugged at me again and my eyes fluttered closed as I tethered on the brink of passing out.
A sharp pain came from my cheek and my eyes popped open to see Evan frowning at me.
“Didn’t I just say not to give up?”
I didn’t respond, only slightly glared at him, hoping he understood the message that was written on my face. He titled his head but it wasn’t towards me, it was as if he was listening to something I couldn’t hear. Maybe it was my damn heart that was pounding so hard in my ears; it felt like they were bleeding from the loudness.
He turned his eyes back to mines; something shinning in those dead and beautiful things that I wished was burning in my soul.
“Somebody’s coming down here, probably to see if we’re dead or not. You’re going to have to get up.” His voice was hushed and low, which told me that this somebody wasn’t far, and I could guess who the person was too. Jordan. I wanted to kill her, personally, for all this shit she got me into. All this was her damn fault and I swear if I wasn’t burning with pain right now I would do it. But I was helpless and broken on the inside, I couldn’t do anything, I was worthless.
I snapped out of my self-pity and darkness that swirled heavily within the depths of my own personal hell and finally my brain replayed and caught on to what Evan had said.
Shaking my head, everything in my body complained about the action however I tried to ignore it to the best of my ability, which wasn’t all that good in the first place. “C-can’t… move… l-legs.”
“Try to wiggle your toes.” Evan said, watching me carefully. I did as he asked and was surprised to see that I could indeed wiggle and control my toes, which meant I wasn’t paralyzed. That still didn’t help the sting of my legs and the fact that moving them made me want to hurl and drop into a pit inside my mind.
Evan most have read it in my face because he stood slowly, still gripping my elbow and began to pull me off the ground. My face twisted at the pain, coming especially from the wound that had been so carefully wrapped around my upper thigh. My nose picked up on the rusty and metallic smell drifting from my pants, oh great, I had reopened the wound and now it was bleeding. Fuck it, just fuck everything! Frustration made the pain dribble away as my mind snapped down like the claws of a dog.
Slowly, with Evan’s arm around my waist and mines around his, we walked further into the darkness. As my vision adapted to the surroundings, I could see the water we walked next to, soaking my ankles and causing the sweatpants I was wearing to feel heavier by the second. The water carried old garbage and food, a lot of trash bags and dead floating animals and rotting meat. The smell was terrible and the ground was slightly muddy from the greenish and brownish water that whipped across it.
The walls were made of metal and were a few feet from where we walked on each side. If I was seeing and smelling things correctly, I’ll say we were in a sewer. And where we were before happened to be above the sewer and that thought made me question something very important. So where the hell were we? Just then, as we continued the light above us flicked out of view and plunged us into complete darkness, I heard the sound of something rattling and the splash of feet landing in water.
Something squired across my feet and I nearly yelped when I saw the small figure of a mouse. Holy shit, what was wrong with me? I wasn’t scared of mice or bugs, I wasn’t a freaking girl like that, so what in the holy hell was wrong with me? I’m losing it, I’m losing myself. God, I hate all of this so much, I hate my life. Dammit, if the truth didn’t hurt so much.
Evan swore softly under his breathe and I was shocked, glancing up at him I saw his face was locked down tightly but he winced occasionally. Was he injured? I scanned him up and down, in search of something weird or out of place. But there was nothing but the mud that was in his hair and all over him, from smacking down into the ground.
That’s when it finally hit me. The wound, when he had gotten shot, it must still hurt. Shit, shit, shit, shit. All I could think about was my damn self; I was such a selfish bitch. What about Evan? He’s putting himself through this pain and agony and all I can think about is giving up? Of how bad my life was. Well what about him? What about Evan?
I would have slapped myself until I heard the squealing of a familiar voice. Jordan. She had followed us all the way down here? I had to give her some credit, the bitch was persistent. But I couldn’t really think about that when I found out the source of her squealing, I could hear a rumbling sound and water rushing like it was tsunami.
The ground shook harshly, knocking both Evan and I onto the ground, him landing on top of me. Pain yelped from legs and I blacked out again. However I was knocked back into reality when a loud boom caused my ears to pop sharply. Jesus, what now?
Suddenly Evan was scrambling off me with a quickness I didn’t know he still had in him. He yanked me up in a hasty matter and we both glanced over our shoulders.
That was our first mistake.