❝what to do when everyone hates me for what ive done❞
♾
ALICIA
I walked out of the bathroom, fully dressed, seeing him laying on the bed as his gaze met mine. He shuffled on the bed, still looking at me. "I-- Negan.." I started as I sighed; this all was a mistake. What does that make me now? Having sex with the enemy doesn't sound good at all, especially with everything that he had done to my group. I closed my eyes breathing in and out as Negan looked at me patiently.
I was trying to convince myself that I had not fallen for him, nor that I liked the sex we just had. I was trying, but it wasn't working.
"This.." I said, as I waved my hand at me and him. "isn't right."
He frowned looking at me but staying quiet. "I'm not okay with this, Negan.. I don't want to be labeled as a slut. Or anything! You -- you.. I can't do any of this."
He sighed, "What's all the rambling about?"
I looked at him, I have to confront him about it now or never. "Why am I here? Why we just had sex when you have your wives?"
"So that's it, huh? My wives are the cause of this ramble?" He said as he grabbed his boxers and dressed up in sweatpants and a grey shirt. He walked over to me, our noses almost touching.
"I don't want any of this. Yeah, I'm talking bout ya wives too, I'm talking also about that I don't want ANY of this. Why am I here, Negan?"
He sighed, running his hand on his face, turning back to me. "Why are you here? WHY ARE YOU HERE? No one is stopping you from walking out of that door."
I laughed sarcastically, smiling bitterly. "Oh really? No one is stopping me from walking out of the door? Out of the gate? No one, huh?" I was pretty sure, if I would walk out of the door I'd be instantly gunned down. I would have no time at all to explain to myself, or even use his name as leverage.
He chuckled, "No one. But they might not stop you; they might kill you."
I looked up at him, I couldn't believe this. I was right, if I were to leave without a permission I'd be dead. "Then why am I here. Why did you bring ME HERE?" I raised my voice to him, done with his bullshit. I wanted answers, I have tried so hard not to act hastily so everyone would be safe. But I needed answers to what has happened and what would happen.
"You don't get it do you? Fucking idiot." He walked away from me, running his hands through his jet black hair.
"I should be asking that to you." I said, ignoring that he called me an idiot, as I crossed my arms, while he turned towards me.
"Then ask!" He yelled, putting his hands in the air. "It's you. You don't get it Alicia, you do not UNDERSTAND!"
I frowned, as he took steps away from me. "Understand what, Negan?"
It all happened too fast for me to realize as he quickly turned around, running towards me as he cupped my face roughly kissing me. I could barely process the whole situation, when he had already pulled away and I was left craving for his touch again. I knew then that I had feelings for him. There was no escaping anymore.
He pulled apart; leaning his forehead on mine, "That I'm so fucking inlove with you."