9.00 A.M.
After Mason and I had breakfast, I go back upstairs. I feel tempted to flip through the notebook, but something inside me wants to do this with someone. I have to tell someone. Not Mason. Why? No idea. After the almost-kiss, I can't look at him the same way again. I never saw him as a cheater. I know things aren't great between him and Karla, but try to kiss...me!? That's something I'd never expect from him.
I take out my phone and start scrolling through my contacts. Nancy, Sam, Karla, Mason,... I want to share this with none of them. What is wrong with me?
Then, I see it: Michael. He's the one. I trust him and I want him to find out more about me. He's perfect. I call him. As I put the phone against my ear, I realize we've only been on 2 dates yet and I've never called him before. I start freaking out. What do I do? What do I say? I can't just ask him to come over to my friends house to flip through a notebook my mom gave me. What is wrong with me!? I'm already calling him! Oh no! I need to do something!
'Hello'
Oh... my... god... What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?
'Anna?'
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG
'Hellooo?'
Help! This is bad! This is really bad! I need to say something! I need to- wait! I'll just let it go on, and tell him I was pocket dialing him. Another lie tho? I sigh. I have to.
Michael hangs up. I'll just text him in half an hour.
Bzzz... bzzz
I have a text. I look at the screen. Of course: Michael. I'll just ignore it for a bit.
Bzzz... bzzz
Another one. Fine I'll just look at it. I open the conversation.
'You called, I couldn't hear you.'
'You okay?'
I reply:' Oops, must have pocket dialed you. Sorry for that.'
'No probs. What have you been up to this week?'
'Nothing much. You?'
'Same. You sure you're okay?'
'Yep'
'You can trust me. Talk to me, if you want to.'
'K, thanks'
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!? The guy I have a crush on wants to talk to me and I... reject him!? Why am I doing all of this. What's happening to me? I need to calm down. Get my mind off things. I have to find a calm spot, where I can think a little bit. And I know exactly where that spot is.