[it is the end, but there is an epilogue]
[ O N E & A H A L F Y E A R S L A T E R ]
"Babe! Have you seen my tie?" I hear as I finish typing the last page. I hear Niall moving down the hallway, his feet stopping in the doorway.
"It's on the bed, babe. I gave you two options."
He rests his chin atop my head, reading the last sentence I'd written as I stare at the page. "You really think we lost an empire?"
"Yeah, maybe. It sounds good anyways."
"I still think you should send it to publisher or let me read it."
I shake my head and stand, taking his hand as I lead him to our bedroom. I grab the purple tie from the bed, looping it around his neck and tying it. "I just want it for me to read for a little while."
"Whatever you want, darlin'." He says as he kisses my nose, making me laugh. "Are you all packed?"
"Yup. You told your mom we'd be there soon?"
"Yes she's very happy you're coming. Said it wasn't fair we didn't stay very long at Christmas."
I sit down at the vanity, brushing through my hair once more. "Well that wasn't my fault. Did you let her know its because her son is very handsy and couldn't keep it in his pants?"
"Not in so many words," he chuckles, watching me in the mirror. "You look beautiful, love."
"Thank you," I murmur back, finishing my braid with an elastic at the end. "Are you ready?"
"Definitely." His hand is outstretched to me, and I can't get over how easily we fit together, how perfectly everything makes sense. Even when we're fighting or annoyed or sad, we still make sense. And I feel like I can breathe.
Though we'd left Horan Corp. behind, we remained on the board as passive participants. It was nice to keep a little part of our past in our lives and it had its perks, like today, when we got to take the jet from London to Mullingar. I find myself beside Niall, tucked into his side. He rarely wears suits anymore, but today is an exception. I wonder how I ever focused in the office around him like this, looking dastardly handsome. I rake my hand through his hair and he smiles, catching it in his own when I lower it.
We'd only recently moved into together, having decided to properly date before rushing into things. It wasn't easy at the beginning. We had to start over and learn each other properly, uninhibited this time. And learn, we had. I learned he could talk for hours at night, and we often did, staying up until the wee hours of the night and telling secrets like little kids. We travel often. And in traveling I learned that Niall can talk to anyone and that he has an unending appreciation for finding the beauty in the world around him.
And in all this learning about Niall, I learned about me too. We returned to my childhood home and tracked down the woman Uncle Steve had once loved. We learned that he had a knack for getting in trouble and that he'd always had a special bond with me, even when I had been too young to understand it all. Every time we return to New York City we put flowers on his grave. When we're not there, Calinda changes them so they're never brown and dead.
"You know, I'm gonna miss Calinda today."
"Did she and Liam finally get the paperwork through?"
"Yeah," I reply, grinning. I show him the picture Liam had sent me of Calinda hugging a small child in her arms, the grassy plains of Kenya in the background. "This is her, the baby they're adopting."
"She does look a bit like how Katherine looks every time she's with Desi, huh?" Niall smirks. "Or you, you get that look around Desi too."
"Well, she is my goddaughter."
"Can't believe she's turning one today."
"I know. It seems like just yesterday she was born." I remember that day fondly, how Niall and I had been asleep and Harry had called us, his voice excited and terrified. Katherine had ordered everyone to wait in the hallway except Harry and I, and we'd both cried when Desi had let out her first wails. And now I had baby fever, though I'd been good at hiding around Niall (for the most part). "I can't wait to see everyone."
"Is Zayn coming?"
"Yeah, he'll be a little late though. Gigi had a modeling gig in Paris and they're catching the red-eye back."
"Good, good. I've got to ask him something."
"What?"
"It's a secret," he says, kissing my neck. "You know, we've got an hour until we land."
"True, just enough time for a little of this," I reply as I kiss him properly, my fingers tangling in his almost-brown hair. "And a little of this," I say, lowering my kisses as I unbutton his shirt.
"I don't know if there's ever enough time," he mumbles breathily, making my eyes flutter up to him.
And I agree.
***
The house is decorated in pink pastel decorations and I put Desi's gift on the table as we shrug off our coats and give Niall's mum and gran hugs. We spend as many weekend as possible here, trying to spend as much time amongst loved ones as possible. Sometimes I can tell Niall feels guilty about all the years he spent away from him, though I try not to let him dwell on it when I notice.
"It's good to see you darling girl," Granny says as I wrap my arms around her ever shrinking figure.
"You look beautiful, Gran. I brought you that new Ted Baker coat you were wanting. Snagged it before it could even go to the stores."
"I'm sure to look like the queen of England in it!" She says with a grin and I smile before taking my spot at her feet so I can play with Desi, who's just started walking. She walks into my arms and I snuggle her, loving the way her tiny arms feel in mine.
"Hi beautiful girl," I greet, nuzzling her nose with mine. "Today is your first birthday. How's that?"
She smiles back and I tickle her and Harry says to Niall, "You've got to get that woman a baby, Niall."
Niall laughs. "Trust me, its not for lack of trying."
"Don't let your mother hear that. She's going to think we're actually trying." Niall winks my direction and I roll my eyes, secretly happy that he wants a baby too.
Slowly, the guests fill in until the house is full of the people we love most in the world, minus Calinda and Liam. We dance and sing and drink too much and bless Katherine and Harry's growing family, and I hope that I can be as good of a mom as Katherine.
Then as the afternoon grows on, Niall turns to me, asking if I want to go for a ride. He drives me past the farms to the hill we'd come to so long ago, when everything was confusing and difficult. We sit on top of it and I remember how it used to remind me of how Niall must feel.
"What are you thinking?" He asks, smiling.
"I used to think that this must be how you saw the whole world. But I think I was wrong."
"Oh?" He asks, pulling me across his lap and into his arms.
"I think this is how you thought the world saw you. All alone up here. But you weren't alone, not really. Because I was here. I am here." He opens his mouth to speak and I put a finger on his lips. "I think you always forgot that because you thought you had to do it all on your own. And you don't. We get to do it together and that's beautiful, Niall. It's my favorite thing in the whole world that I get to be yours and you get to be mine and for all the trouble we had to go through just to be on this hill again, you better not ever think for a second that you're ever gonna be alone in this world again."
He smiles before kissing me, deep and slow. "I was going to tell you what I had to ask Zayn."
"Oh?" I reply, sinking back into his chest. I feel him fumbling with something in his coat, and I make a comment about how I'm not having sex on the muddy ground.
"I had to ask Zayn for his permission."
"Permission for what?" I reply half-paying attention. My eyes are closed and my head lays on his shoulder, relishing for the quiet.
"Permission to ask you to marry me," he explains and for a second I don't think anything of it.
"What?" I jump up, turning around in his lap. "What did you say?"
He holds up a ring. "I'm asking you to marry me, Elouise. For real. I'm not the best man. I broke your heart and I used you but along the way I fell in love with you--the best person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and I would never last another minute without you. You're right. When we're together, it's like nothing else matters. I have the best moments of my life with you. And I never stopped loving you, even when I thought the whole world was against me. And I'm right--the whole world was against me sometimes. But I was wrong to think that you could ever be apart of the rest of the world. So make a man who doesn't deserve you at all happy and marry me, please. For real. No gimmicks no paparazzi. I'll take you to a courthouse and we can elope and we can never tell anyone if you want. So tell me yes, tell me we'll grow old together and my heart will never have to ache for you again--except when you are away on holiday with Calinda."
"Yes, I cry, wiping my tears off my cheek as I wrap my arms around him. "A thousand fucking times yes. Are you kidding? Yes. Yes. Yes." I accentuate my answer with a kiss, losing track of time as he holds me to him.
He breaks away, looking up at the sky. "That's funny."
"What?" I ask, looking up as well.
"It's raining," he says, and the sky bottoms out, unleashing a torrent of rain on us as we sit, astonished by the sudden storm. My hair sticks to my face and we laugh and cry and Niall kisses me again.
And the world is good.
***
[so there it is. the end.]
there will be an epilogue. i hope you guys liked the ending. it was very emotional for me to write, i cried all the way through it.
i love you all!!!!!!
xoxo mads