Blurb: She falls hard for someone who will never feel the same.
Warnings: This imagine is sad. I am just prewarning you that this is an imagine that will not end happily. I mean no hate towards the Liz Allen character nor the actress, but for the sake of this short story, I may have made her SEEM like a bad person but in no way is that my personal opinion.
Each day was another day of faux smiles and lies. Peter did it. He asked Liz to the Homecoming Dance...and she accepted his proposal. Audrey was there for the whole thing. She waited by his locker for the verdict and celebrated his victory, even though she was being torn apart on the inside. Each day has it's own turn of events.
The first week was a haze of mixed emotions. Peter and Liz were spending most of their time together. Audrey smiled and waved off each apology from Peter when he missed plans they made long ago, pushing her feelings aside and putting his first. The first week was harsh, but it didn't break Audrey.
The second week came like a flood of bricks to the heart. Liz and Peter started to date. The news hit her like a car travelling at a million miles an hour. But of course, she congratulated him. She was happy for them. Of course she was, because that's what she was supposed to do. She had to be a good friend, and so she was.
Since then, each day held its own secrets suppressed in each small action Peter did. It started with what seemed like small insignificant things to Peter. He would be so caught up with helping Liz with her Geometry that he would forget the plans he regularly made with Audrey to see a movie. She would shrug off his absence and pretend like it meant nothing to her when in reality she spent the entire duration of the film crying in the back row. Alone.
Missed dates soon turned into missed routines. Peter would always wait by Audrey's locker when the school day ended. It was always the highlight of her day, to see him waiting for her, to listen to him talk about his day and he hers. But now, he would wait at Liz's locker. She would walk out of her last class of the day and sprint down the hall, excited to tell Peter about how she scored an A+ on her worst subject. A smile was plastered on her face as she pushed past the mass of bodies crammed into the hallway. She stopped at her locker and her smile steadily contorted into a look of sadness as she was greeted with an empty space. Her stomach felt like a vacuum. Her eyes roam the hallway in search of his familiar face, but she is unable to see any sign of him.
He must be running a little late, She thought. It wouldn't be the first time.
So, she waited. She gathered together her books and stuffed everything into her bag. She slid down her locker and sat on the floor. And she waited. For hours she waited. At every noise she would stand up to greet her friend but each time she would return to the floor, her excitement steadily decreasing with each passing hour.
She walked home alone that night, drowning in the company of her own shadow.
When she reached her flat, she looked out her window into Peter's bedroom. Peter was at standing at his desk, his arms pointing at various decorations around his room. To Audrey, it looked like he was practicing a speech of some sort and she snatched up her phone to call him. But as soon as she clicked, 'Call', she walked into view.
Peter glanced at his phone when it rang and immediately went to answer it, but Liz swiftly paced over to him and spoke to him. Audrey couldn't hear what she was saying but the way she was shaking her head, was a good enough signal that she was convincing him not to pick up. Liz's hand traces Peter's body, every invisible pattern deliberately used to cause him to fall under her control.
Peter attempted to put up an argument but in an attempt to please his girlfriend, he declined the phone call. Audrey's jaw dropped and so did her heart. She swallowed the lump in her throat and turned away from the window. Her head hangs low as she discards the A+ essay and drags herself past the broken wall and into her bed.
When she's alone, the silence seems to provoke her deepest thoughts. The shadows seem to whisper in her ear. Suspicions. Minor details that she ignored. Feelings that she pushed aside. Warnings signs she ignored. All these come back to her in the still of the night and upon these thoughts, she falls into a dreadful state of unrest.
Tears fall like rain drops on her cheeks. Each droplet leaves a red stain as evidence of the pain she hides under her skin.
Her night of torment was put aside and replaced with a smile. A well practiced smile. She'd practiced that smile a million times in front of the mirror, but it never really mattered whether it looked real because nobody ever cared if she was happy. They just wanted to know that she was alive. Happiness doesn't equate to anything in their eyes.
She walked the halls, her mind not focused on the school work at hand but what is to happen afterwards. Tonight was the Friday night before Homecoming and both Audrey and Peter had a tradition. Two miles from their building was a small park. It wasn't much but it was theirs. They designated it 'Their Spot'. Both had promised to only bring each other to this park and nobody else. Once a month the two would spend a Friday evening staring at the stars.
Audrey kept her eye out for Peter throughout the day. She sat faithfully at the same spot they sat at in the cafeteria waiting for Peter to join her. She saw Peter walk in and sit down with Liz. Audrey attempted to catch his attention but each attempt was foiled by Liz's engrossing conversations that seemingly tied up Peter in invisible binds.
Audrey ate lunch alone that day for the first time. And that was the first time she realised how alone she was. She barely knew anyone in this whole school besides Peter. She didn't bother looking for another friend because she had every possible friend she would ever need in Peter...Until now.
Audrey collects her books and doesn't bother waiting for Peter at her locker, but instead walks home alone once more. She checks her phone for the umpteenth time, but sees the same blank screen. Peter hasn't replied to any of her texts today.
Audrey grabs her sketchbook and coat and runs to the small park to rendezvous with Peter. Maybe his phone is dead. She thinks as she sprints to the small park. Each puff of air produces a white cloud of carbon dioxide that lingers in the cold air.
Audrey's face ignites with a smile at the sight of Peter laying on the ground staring up the at the night sky. The last ounce of courage fuelled her forwards only to be stopped in her tracks. There beside Peter lay another figure. Her curves and perfect skin are unmistakeable. Liz Allen.
Audrey stands frozen in place, her brain still trying to process the scene in front of her. Peter and Liz laugh at a joke either of them said as they continue to stare at the sky. Then Peter props himself up on one arm and hovers over Liz's still figure. After a small pause, he leans down and captures her lips in his.
Every last piece of Audrey's heart shatters, leaving her with nothing but the pain and agony she's been engulfed in in the weeks past. A loud gasp passes through her lips. Her hand shoots up to cover her mouth as she stifles another sob. Peter breaks apart from the kiss and looks directly at Audrey. His eyes flash with an unfamiliar emotion but it is soon replaced with a look of confusion.
"Audrey?" Peter addresses her, clearly surprised about her presence. "Wh-what are you doing here?"
Audrey scoffs loudly, her eyes rolling back, the audacity of it all finally hitting her. She boldly steps forward causing Peter to stand to his feet.
"What am I doing here, Pete?" Audrey retorts, her voice rising with anger with each passing second. "What the hell are you doing here with her, Peter?"
Peter glances down at Liz then back at her.
"I wanted to show her our spot," Peter explains. "I thought you wouldn't mind."
"You thought I wouldn't mind?" Audrey scoffs once more, tears spilling over her cheeks. "You thought I wouldn't mind that you broke your promise. You thought I wouldn't mind that you brought someone into my sacred area that I shared specifically with you?"
"Audrey-" Peter begins but is soon cut off by Audrey's powerful voice.
"NO PETER!" Audrey yells at him. "You listen to me now! Why the hell would you do something like this? You know how I feel about this place. You know how precious this is to me, how close this is to my heart. I let you share this with me because I trusted you and you tore that trust apart by bringing her here!"
"I didn't think-" Peter stuttered out.
"That's right Peter, 'You didn't think'." Audrey screams, her voice breaking from the lump forming in her throat. "A month, Peter! One Month! Four weeks! In four weeks you've managed to rip me apart. You complain about the world being a cruel place but you are one of the reasons to call it so. I have stood by your side when you haven't seen me. I have been there for you when you were alone. But when were you there for me Peter?"
A sob breaks her sentence. "I waited for you, Peter. I waited every day. But you never saw that, and maybe that's my bad for thinking for once somebody could know me well enough to know when I'm not ok. I thought you knew me, Peter, I thought you loved-" Audrey's sentence is left hanging, not daring to let the words leave her lips.
"But I was wrong. I was wrong and that's my bad because I let someone destroy me in front of my own eyes. I fell in love with someone who I thought felt the same way...and I was wrong."
"Audrey, why didn't you tell me?" Peter asks, his eyes glassing over with tears at the sight of her broken heart. A broken heart he caused.
"I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO TELL YOU, PETER!" Audrey cried out.
"Audrey, please-" Peter reaches to touch her but she stumbles away from his reach.
"No, Peter, just..." Audrey begins to walk away, but turns back. Audrey glances at Liz before turning her attention back to Peter.
"It's his birthday today," Audrey sobs as she dusts the fresh snow off her younger brother's gravestone. "Did you forget?"
She studies his face and sees the realisation hit him. "You did." She mumbles incoherently to herself. A tear slides down Peter's cheek as he watches her place her hands on his tombstone.
"Audrey, I'm so sorry." Peter apologises, his voice shaking with emotion.
"No, Peter, I'm sorry," Tears stain Audrey's cheeks as she places the rose sketch onto the tombstone. "I'm sorry for thinking I stood a chance with you. I'm sorry that I thought someone could love me the way I did. I'm sorry that I thought you could see past my smile and see the hurt, the way I do with you. I'm so sorry for letting you break me with each thing you do. And most of all, I am so sorry for ever thinking that I finally had something in my life that would never leave me. I'm so sorry, Pete. I'm sorry."
Audrey ran with everything in her she ran. She didn't have a plan, she just knew she needed to run away. She couldn't think when she ran. And that's what she needed right now. A temporary fix to an eternal problem. So, she kept running until she couldn't feel anymore. Her body became numb to everything around her. And that is what she became...Numb. Numb to the cold. Numb to the hurt. Numb to the love. Numb to the feelings. Numb.
And everytime she would walk past Peter in the hallways with Liz on his arm she would remember that numb feeling and put the veil over her eyes once more. Because when you lose everything, all you have left is your feelings, and if you lose your feeling, all you are is numb. And that is what she became.
Numb.