Requested by: MylifeasaWitch
A/N: this has been in the
making for like 5 years
Only, the day before a final had
inspiration striking and bam
from 0 to 3k words
Warnings, I guess: Pixar movie turned into horror (kinda) | repeated lines
•••
You somehow had convinced Stephen Strange to help you get back at Steve, Bucky, and Sam in pranking them back for what they had done to you during the last mission you had accompanied them to assist. Leaving you behind after a successfully executed mission was not a funny, harmless prank! It was Bucky's idea, Steve was a pushover, and Sam tried to be the voice of reason but failed. Abandoned in the middle of nowhere, legs deep in swamp water, you couldn't help but watch them laugh as the helicopter took off and ascended up in the air. You crossed lands and swamps to make it back to the Avengers HQ, looking like a swamp monster with all the kelps, algae, and murky dirt sticking onto you and thirsting for blood and revenge.
One, two, three. You tried to hold in your anger before an actual homicide would happen in the building, and holding that need at bay proved to be more challenging when you crossed the two senior citizens and their nurse.
Bucky burst at you laughing and laughing and laughing so hard he fell off the sofa while he tightly clutched his stomach. Talk about humiliation at first sight. Steve tried to hold it in as his shoulders shook, but those treacherous snickers turned into laughter not so long after. And Sam, oh Sam, the guy that you still held some sense of respect for him actually looked disappointed in the two dying from laughter grandpas. He held an impressively disappointed look over his two companions, shaking his head at them as you crossed the room to reach the main elevator.
But, alas! As you stood in the elevator, waiting for the doors to close, you heard Sam calling for Bucky's and Steve's attention, then saw him raising two palms up.
You squint your eyes, looking very suspicious.
Slap. Slap.
You had dejectedly seen him high-fiving all around through the closing doors of the elevator.
You are so going to murder them.
***
"Okay, so, doctor." All cleaned up now, you went on your way seeking out the Doctor. Mister Doctor. The Doctor that was Strange. Whatever. You found him meditating in the backyard. The weather was nice today, and butterflies and ladybugs were soaring around. And, now, you were in the middle of cutting his meditation session short. "I need your help."
His facial expression turned somewhat sour. The kind of face you would have made if you had Accidentally woke up from your sleep and was trying to fall back in.
No avail.
You called his name once, twice, poked his cheeks and pinched them. Though he did not budge, only, his eyebrows furrowed. You sighed, then his cape started to wave at you. You sat behind the doctor and started a game of rock, paper, scissors with it, leaving you a little occupied at the moment and giving Stephen a little while to continue his meditation.
Score: 17 to 9 going in favor of the cape. You pouted.
No fair.
"What is it that you needed my help with?" Stephen asked. He didn't seem to be wanting to turn around to face you so you opted to crawl back and sat cross-legged in front of him.
"I want to get back at what Steve, Bucky, and Sam had done to me early today." you said, getting a little distracted by a ladybug fluttering close around.
"And what have they done?" Stephen watched your eyes trying to keep track of the ladybug until you lost its whereabouts.
"Uh," you blinked once, twice. The ladybug was gone. "They have left me behind in that swamp area. Eugh. it was so dirty and very creepy to be left alone at." You grimaced. "And I had to cross all the puddles and gross mud and those weird-textured algae." You shivered, cringing.
Stephen chuckled. "Is that why you looked like you had an overnight swamp party with Skrek and the fairytale friends?"
You crossed your eyes enough to see the ladybug trailing up to the tip of your nose.
"Oh, shut up," you rolled your eyes, watching Stephen booping your nose, and the ladybug crawled up to Stephen's hand. "So would you help me take revenge?" You looked up at him expectantly, eyes wide with hope. "Please?"
Stephen stared at you for a bit, looking like he was deep in thought. He hummed a little, teasing you with two more agonizing seconds. "I suppose I could pick a bone with them," he grinned. "I have unfinished business to settle with them."
"Yes! Let's go!" You cheered, getting up and dragging Stephen along with you by the hand.
You felt something get squished in between your hand and Stephen's though you did not give it much thought, your mind wondering what the doctor's unfinished business was.
***
After a roundabout you took with Stephen around the HQ, you found Steve, Bucky, and Sam watching some movie together in the common room. You ducked behind a couch, and Stephen followed. "So what's the plan?" He asked.
"Okay, so the plan is that you use the green eye necklace thingy--"
"The Eye of Agamotto."
"--yes, yes, that to loop and rewind things they are doing to slowly drive them insane." You looked at him, finding him looking back at you with a raised eyebrow and nodding for you to continue. "Step One: you loop a scene in the movie. Can you do that?"
"I can do that."
The TV screen showed a blue rat scurrying away from chefs all across a kitchen, stopped abruptly above a pot of boiling soup and gagged. You supposed it would have definitely tasted bad with all the water added to it.
The rat then started to add green leaves, leaks, cut onion, garlic, heavy cream, and a whole lot of other ingredients to the pot. As the rat was about to stir it, you saw Stephen in your peripheral vision working a green magic ring. The movie cut back again to the adding of ingredients scene again and again and again until it cut back to the beginning of the movie where the rat got separated from its family then went back to where the soup was served to a food critic, cutting to where it shown dead rats caught in rat traps, before rewinding to a sound of gunshot, and then having an old TV talking about a big chef and how his death had affected the rating of his restaurant. And for a finale, the credits came rolling down the screen.
In short, it was a wild ride of a movie.
You were having a field day watching how Stephen was editing the movie and how hunk #1, hunk #2, and hunk #3 were sitting in silence after the sporadic change of emotions they had gone through.
"Oh, my god?! Remy died?" Bucky shrieked, horrified by what they had just seen. Steve started to sniffle quietly, and Sam look like he had disconnected from reality.
It was a sight to see.
"Uh-I-I think it's a good time to go to sleep right now." Steve murmured.
"But it's 4p.m.?"
"All the more reason to go to sleep." He got up, dragging a perplexed Bucky and an undead-like walking Sam with him to their respective quarters.
You laughed out loud at the state Stephen had left them in, high-fiving him. "How did you know which scenes to cut to? Have you watched Ratatouille?" You grinned.
"Maybe." He smiled
***
The next morning, everyone was having breakfast in the lounge. You yawned as you walked into the room. "Good morning, guys."
A chorus of good mornings resonated through the room until Bucky had cut it short. "Today is definitely not a good morning after that horror of a movie we have watched." He grumbled.
You and Stephen shared a knowing look.
"Horror?" That piqued Natasha's interest. A movie that has gotten three of the toughest Avengers shaken up enough to be cranky in the following morning. "What movie was it?"
Steve paused reading the newspaper. "It was Ratatouille."
"What."
"What?"
"You got spooked from a kids' movie?" Tony gave them a dubious look, taking a sip from his mug.
"Well, this kids' movie killed Remy? Linguini's gone insane and then started hallucinating that a dead rat was helping him in cooking. And apparently, the grandma killed chef Gusteau, and that was what affected the rating of the restaurant, but in reality, the years-old spoiled food Linguini was serving is what removed stars from the rating, and no one was stopping him since the restaurant was infested with rats!" Bucky heaved in a breath after the long complaint he had just squeezed out.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him in concern. You smiled to yourself and quietly continued on brewing your morning coffee.
"Are you sure it was Ratatouille that you were watching?" Wanda asked.
"Yes, I'm sure!" Bucky screeched. "And what's up with this never-ending omelette?" He pushed his plate away. "It never seems to finish! I'm done!" He stormed out of the room.
The rest of the Avengers looked puzzled, a questioning aura wafted through the air, and a bemused look settled on their faces but nonetheless unpaused whatever they were doing.
"And what's up with Sam?" Clint whispered over to Tony and Natasha. "He seems out of it."
Both Tony and Natasha shrugged, and Vision had answered since he was close in hearing range. "I do not know, but he has been in this states since seven this morning."
Tony and Clint looked over to you for answers, and you shrugged too, feigning innocence.
"Things do be never-ending today." Steve murmured. "I've been reading the same line for over an hour now." He quietly folded the newspaper close and got up, dragging Sam along with him.
Finishing preparing your breakfast meal up, you rounded the corner over to Stephen and sat next to him, just in time to catch sight of a faint green glow before it faded away from under the table.
You grinned. Looked like Stephen had just accomplished Step Two of never-ending-ness.
"Good job." You marvelled quietly.
***
The afternoon rolled in rather quickly, and everyone started to file through into a meeting room to have an update on the mission progress.
Around the round table, Steve sat at the head of the table with Bucky on his right and Sam on his left. Next, sat Wanda with Vision next to her, then Clint with Natasha next to him. Stephen sat across from Steve, and Tony sat on the doctor's left. You squeezed your chair in between Tony's and Stephen's. Scott and Bruce sat on Tony's left.
"Where are Thor and Pietro?" Clint asked.
"Peter is missing too." Natasha added.
"Pietro is--" Wanda started, but a strong gust of wind cut her off and sent the whole room in shambles. The papers Pepper was holding scattered all over the room and all the chairs went spinning.
"Is here!" Pietro exclaimed, spinning in his chair.
"Ugh, well," you willed your chair to stop. "Peter isn't done with school yet. He'd probably come here later."
A loud thump resonated from the attic followed by a loud ow.
Tony sighed, "surprising. Thor and his poptarts."
"Ahem, anyway," Steve called, "let's start."
***
"--And there have been sightings of the same group of assassins in a few occasions up in the North Coast." Natasha concluded the report.
"I have encountered them twice during my patrols," Clint said. "They are always quick to disengage and escape though."
"Are they the same groups that have a hideout in the swamps?" You genuinely asked.
Bucky snickered, and Steve tried to hold in a smile. Keyword: tried. "Yes, it appears so." Steve confirmed.
You gave them a dirty look.
"They have the same emblem stitched on their backs," Natasha added.
"Anyway, what's up with them? What's their motif?" Tony asked, reclining in his chair.
Wanda looked like she was about to add something but decided against it. Vision took the lead. "On the last mission Wanda, Pietro, and I have gone on, we saw a repetitive pattern of them targeting Dis Ass Headquarters."
"That doesn't answer what their motif is," Tony said.
"I suppose so." Vision nodded.
Stephen stayed silent the whole time, a green magic ring started to form around his wrist.
"And there have been sightings of the same group of assassins in a few occasions up in the North Coast." Natasha concluded the report."
"Are the recent sightings only up in the North Coast?"
"I have encountered them twice during my patrols," Clint said. "They are always quick to disengage and escape though."
"Were your encounters up in the North Coast too, or somewhere else?" Bucky asked.
"I suppose so." Vision nodded.
Bucky gave him a weirded out look, and Steve shifted in his seat. "Anyway, any more inputs that need mentioning? Bruce? Scott?" He turned around to face them.
"None that I have." Bruce declined.
"Nope!" Scott said.
"Are they the same groups that have a hideout in the swamps?" You genuinely asked.
"We have already confirmed that, (Y/N). They are the same--" Steve was cut off.
"Nope!" Scott said.
"No?" Steve asked.
"They have the same emblem stitched on their backs," Natasha added.
Wanda looked like she was about to add something but decided against it. Vision took the lead. "I suppose so." Vision nodded.
Steve and Bucky looked around, feeling very confused at the moment. Whatever was going on had snapped Sam out of the trance he was trapped in. He, too, started to look around.
"That doesn't answer what their motif is," Tony said.
"None that I have." Bruce declined.
"Are you, guys, okay?" Steve squeaked, his face grimacing.
"Nope!" Scott said.
Wanda looked like she was about to add something but decided against it.
You gave them a dirty look.
"Um--" Sam started, a concerned look swept over his features. "We should dip out of here." He whispered over to Steve and Bucky.
Bucky nodded. "I, for once, agree with Sam. I can't handle this anymore, and I could combust at any moment now."
The three of them abruptly stood up and dashed out of the door, screaming.
The green glow faded.
"Pfft--" you tried to hold your laughter in, but it betrayed you, and you laughed.
"Don't think I didn't notice you rewinding time," Natasha interrupted, facing Stephen. "But taking revenge is so fulfilling. That's what Bucky gets for shooting me back then."
"He thought we wouldn't notice, but we did." Tony smiled at Stephen before he sarcastically mumbled, mocking Steve's phrase, "he is my fwiend."
Sarcasm dripped from him everyday.
"Tic Tac," Scott scoffed at the nickname Sam had given him. "More like tic tac toe-gh on you there, buddy!"
The others grimaced a little, and Bruce shook his head. "That's not it."
"Not it?" Scott pouted.
"Alright!" Tony clapped. "Meeting's dismissed." He wrapped up the meeting before the cringe could get amplified.
One by one, they started to file out of the room, the seats left unoccupied slowly turning around in their places.
"I guess a lot had old beef to settle with the three beef factories." You laughed again, now facing Stephen.
The doctor smiled at you, shaking his head. He found you endearing and thought that the day he had spent with you was worth it.
[Unfinished Business]
Now that you were left alone in the meeting room with Stephen, the thought of the doctor's unfinished business had crossed your mind since everybody had revealed theirs.
"What was the unfinished business you had with Steve, Bucky, and Sam?" You wondered out loud.
The doctor stiffened, tensing a little. "It's settled now. Don't worry about it."
"But, like, I wanna know."
"It's all in the past."
"Tell me though, I'm curious."
"It doesn't matter anymore. Poof. It's gone now, and I know you would laugh if I told you."
"Nah. I wouldn't."
"Okay, I trust you with it then," Stephen sighed. "It was about the Mr. Doctor nonsense, and how it was strange, really."
You looked like you were about to combust and trying so hard to hold back the laugh with a straight face.
"They've kept the act for a whole week. Whenever they saw me, they kept bringing it back and fooling around." He continued.
"Even Sam?"
"Even Sam."
"That was strange, really."
"It was--" Stephen stopped mid-sentence. It took him a second to catch on. "Stop."
"What? It was strange, Mister."
"Oh, my god," he facepalmed.
"Mister Doctor. Doctor Mister Strange."
He looked so done right now. "You're a strange case."
"Oh, don't you love me?"
"Unfortunately, I do."
[Rock, Paper, Scissors: The Rematch]
Obviously, you couldn't accept defeat easily. Especially one from a damn cloth, so you opted for a rematch. The 45th rematch for the day, and you still got your ass handed back to you by a cape.
You tried to cheat once by tricking the cape into showing what object it chose first and you going seconds after.
It did not go well.
The cape wrapped itself around your head, suffocating you for a few seconds and letting go of you. You looked disheveled, hair all over the place, and you felt a little disoriented and out of place.
You were never going to try and cheat in a game of rock, paper, scissors against a cape ever again.
•••
A/N: rest in pieces ms. squished ladybug
You were an angel
+
Context on why the assassins target Dis Ass Headquarters:
Courtesy of MylifeasaWitch