Beca put her phone down and burst into tears. Why did this have to happen the week before Christmas? After a year of fighting cancer, her mom had to pass away December 18th? Beca didn't even realize Chloe had walked into their shared apartment bedroom until the redhead started talking. "I'm testing cookie recipes for next week and I need you to tell me how they taste. I'm not sure about the mocha ones and they need to be-" she paused for a second, realizing the brunette wasn't even looking at her. "Oh my god are you crying? What's wrong?"
"I just got off the phone with my stepdad, and my mom died this morning," Beca said quietly, wiping her eyes.
"Beca, oh my god," Chloe said softly, sitting on Beca's bed and wrapping her in a hug. "I'm so sorry."
"I knew she was close, but I thought she'd have at least another few months," Beca sobbed.
"When is the funeral?" Chloe asked, sitting up and holding the smaller girl's hands.
"It's on Wednesday and it's in Florida, so I'll have to fly down there," Beca said.
"I'll come with you." Chloe gave Beca another hug and held on until the brunette let go. "Do you need anything for now?"
Beca shook her head. "I know we were supposed to go to that movie tonight but-"
"Don't worry about it, you need time and space to grieve, I'm here if you need me, alright?" Chloe said.
Beca nodded. "Thanks Chloe."
"Of course, it's what best friends are for."
**********
The funeral was perhaps the worst day of Beca's life. She had never cried that much, not even when she found out her parents were divorcing. She hated seeming vulnerable, but she admitted it was good for her to have Chloe there with her. That way, she'd have someone to talk to. And she talked and talked about her mom. Chloe never expected her to open up that much but she was more than willing to listen to stories and hold Beca while she cried. It wasn't until they were on the flight home that Beca discovered something really sad. "I don't know who to celebrate Christmas with," she said sadly.
"I do, you're gonna fly home to Vermont with me," Chloe said promptly. Beca had met the Beale family multiple times before and they always welcomed her with open arms.
"No way, I can't ruin your family time," Beca replied.
"I already talked to my parents and they said they'd love to have you," Chloe said. "We'll have to share my bedroom but I really want you there. It'll be a lot of fun, and hopefully it'll get your mind off things."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive," Chloe smiled. "You're my best friend in the whole world, you deserve a happy Christmas."
***********
Chloe and Beca walked into the house and Chloe was immediately pulled into a hug by her 14 year old sister. "I thought you were never gonna get here, the boys are being obnoxious and I need some sister time."
"Hey Emma!" Chloe said. "You remember Beca, right?"
"Yeah, hi Beca!" Emma said, smiling at the short brunette.
"Where are Luke and Evan?" Chloe asked, mentioning her little brothers.
The 11 year old and the 8 year old ran into the room almost taking Beca's suitcase out as they did so. "Chloe!" Evan said excitedly.
"Hey bud! How's 3rd grade treating you?" Chloe asked with a smile.
"Good!" He said.
"Luke oh my god you're almost taller than Beca," Chloe said with a laugh.
"He is not!" Beca protested. "I still have like 2 inches on him, as I should. You're like 11, kid, stop growing."
"Where's mom and dad?" Chloe asked Emma.
"In the basement trying to fit all the food in the spare refrigerator," Emma said.
"Ok," Chloe replied. "Can you guys put me and Beca's bags in my room?"
The boys took the bags and brought them upstairs while Beca and Chloe went downstairs to say hello to Chloe's parents. "Beca!" Chloe's mom said excitedly as she pulled the girl in for a hug.
"Well hello to you too mom," Chloe said, rolling her eyes and smiling.
"Hi Cindy," Beca laughed.
"I'm so sorry about your mom. How are you holding up, honey?"
"I'm doing ok, Chloe's been really amazing and has been helping me through a lot of it. Thank you so much for letting me come up here."
"Of course honey, you're family," Cindy said. She gave her daughter a hug. "Did you say hi to the kids?"
"Yeah," Chloe replied. "Where's Dad?"
"Right here honey," he said, giving his eldest daughter a hug.
"Hey!" Chloe said.
"Beca, it's so great to have you," he said.
"Thanks so much for inviting me, John," Beca said.
"We're gonna run to the store to get stuff to make cookies," Chloe said. "Do you need anything else?"
"Yeah, I forgot the garlic for the mashed potatoes," Cindy said.
"Ok, we'll get it," Chloe said.
"Bring Emma with you, she needs a break from the boys," Cindy said with a laugh.
"Ok, sounds good."
They went upstairs and Chloe went to go see what she had in the kitchen while Beca went upstairs to go get Emma. "Hey Em, it's Beca," she said, knocking on the teenager's door.
"Come in," the young redhead called back. Beca walked in and found the girl on her computer with headphones on.
"Oh my gosh are you working on a mix?" Beca asked with a smile.
"No, I'm editing something I recorded," Emma replied. "I make mixes though too."
"Can I listen?" Beca asked.
"Sure, it's House Of Gold by Twenty One Pilots. I was playing the ukulele really quietly and I can't figure out how to make it louder without making my singing louder."
"Oh I'll help you!" Beca said. She sat down on a chair next to the desk and put on the headphones Emma handed her. "This is really good, kid!" She said. She adjusted the sound and handed the headphones back to Emma. "How's this?"
"Perfect!" Emma said.
"Alright, so Chloe and me are going to the store and your mom told us to take you with since the boys are getting on your nerves."
"Ugh, sounds great!" Emma said with a laugh. They went downstairs and Chloe met them in the foyer.
"I'm in a Starbucks mood, how about you guys?"
"Oh my god yes," Emma said.
"Sure," Beca shrugged.
Chloe wrapped her arm around Beca as they went to the car. "Doing okay?"
Beca nodded. "I'm just a little overwhelmed."
"I'm here if you need anything," Chloe said. "We can talk later tonight, sound good?"
"Yeah," Beca said, "thank you."
They drove to Starbucks and Chloe parked the car. "What do you guys want? I'll go in so you guys can keep the car warm."
"Just a black coffee for me," Beca said.
"Can you get me a peppermint mocha?" Emma asked.
"Yeah sure," Chloe replied. She didn't even realize she had been holding Beca's hand until she squeezed it as if to say 'you'll be ok.'
Beca and Emma sat in silence for a minute or two before Emma glanced up at Beca. "How are you doing? I'm sorry about your mom, by the way."
"Pretty shitty actually," Beca said. "But thanks."
"Why haven't you talked to Chloe? She thinks you're doing ok."
"I don't want her to fall all over herself to try to make me happy, she doesn't deserve that."
"Beca, Chloe's gonna fall all over herself to make you happy whether you say you're sad or not. She knows you're grieving even if you don't say it. You can talk to me if you'd rather."
"It's ok, I'll try to open up to her a little bit more," Beca said.
"Good. Try to not think about it for a little bit, we all want you to have a happy Christmas."
"I really appreciate it," Beca replied. "You guys are like my second family."
"I'm glad," Emma replied.
Chloe came back out to the car and handed Beca and Emma their coffees. "It's freezing out here."
"It's 40°, that's warm for December," Emma said.
"You're forgetting we live in Atlanta," Beca said with a laugh.
"You're just babies, 40 isn't bad at all," Emma laughed.
"Next year we should host!" Chloe said.
"Definitely," Beca agreed with a laugh.
**********
The girls got home and Chloe set the bags in the kitchen. "Hey Bec, wanna help with the cookies?"
"Do you mind if I go take a little nap? I just really need to clear my head," Beca said.
"Go ahead," Chloe said. "Do you want me to sit with you?"
"No, I really need to be by myself for a little bit," Beca said. "Thank you though."
"Of course, we'll be down here." Chloe said with a smile. She and Emma went to the kitchen and started making the cookies.
"So I'm just gonna be honest with you..." Emma started.
"What's up?"
"You're totally in love with Beca."
"What do you mean?" Chloe asked with a laugh. "She's my best friend."
"You held hands with her the entire way to Starbucks and you've been out of your way so many times to make her feel comfortable," Emma said.
"Because her mom just died," Chloe shrugged.
"Oh come on, you're like this every time you bring her here. You're so in love with her."
"I am not talking about this," Chloe said, rolling her eyes. "You're delusional."
"I'm realistic," Emma shot back.
They finished baking the cookies and Chloe went upstairs to wake up Beca a few minutes before her family was about to arrive. "Hey Bec, my family is gonna be here in a few minutes," she said softly, rubbing the brunette's back.
"Alright," Beca agreed, sitting up in bed. "Who am I meeting?"
"My aunt Val and my uncle Jim, my cousins Toby, Elise, and Andrea. They're on my dad's side. On my mom's side we have my aunt Kim, my uncle Frank, my cousins Dani and Callie. My aunt Jen and my cousin Allie, And then my grandparents Diane and Richard."
"Okay," Beca said as she walked downstairs behind Chloe.
They went into the living room and pretty soon Chloe's family started to arrive. "Grandma!" Chloe said excitedly as she stood up to hug her grandmother. "Grandma this is Beca. Beca, this is my grandma Diane."
"Hi," Beca said shyly. She stood up and the woman gave her a hug.
"Hi honey, it's so nice to meet you," Diane said. "How long have you two been together?"
"Oh, we're not...dating...Beca's my best friend," Chloe said with an awkward laugh.
"Oh my god, I'm sorry girls," Diane said with a laugh. "Chloe, where are the kids?"
"In the basement," she replied. After her grandma left the room, she sat down on the couch and laughed. "Do we really look that coupley?"
"How many times has that happened though?" Beca asked with a laugh. "Remember when the neighbors asked us if we were going to the pride parade?"
"We must really look like a couple," Chloe replied. She honestly didn't mind, In fact, she liked when people thought they were a couple.
"It's not like I mind," Beca winked.
Chloe laughed and so did Beca, but they could both realize the chemistry between them, and it for some reason made Chloe really nervous. They were best friends and nothing more, why did she feel like there was something more?
**********
"How are you doing?" Chloe asked that night when Beca climbed into the bed they were sharing.
"Fine," Beca shrugged. She really wasn't in the mood to talk about her mom but there was no way of getting out of it with Chloe.
"Honestly?" Chloe asked gently, not wanting to make Beca upset.
"It's hard," Beca whispered. "This fucking sucks."
"Like Christmas here? Or-"
"You guys are amazing, it's just all overwhelming and scary. I feel so...broken." Beca sighed. "Every day, I wake up and go through the motions, trying to pretend to be doing better, to be getting over the loss, but I'm not. Nothing's helping me," she said, using all of her willpower not to cry in front of Chloe. "I have to be okay, I have to be...for you."
"You do not have to be okay for me," Chloe said promptly, wrapping her arms around Beca. "You're allowed to feel whatever you want around me and I promise to support you and help you."
"It's Christmas Eve, I'm supposed to be happy, but I'm not. I feel shattered, Chloe. It physically hurts me to try to smile and be happy."
"You don't need to be," Chloe said. "Trust me, if you're worried about my family worrying about you, they understand. We all know you're grieving, Bec, and we're more than okay with giving you some space." She paused for a minute, using her thumb to wipe Beca's tears. "Except me. I'm going to lay here and hold you while you cry until you feel better. You're my best friend; you're everything to me, and I want you to be happy. I understand that it's going to take time though."
"I miss her so much." Beca only said those 5 words before bursting into tears. "She was the only one there for me before you came into my life."
"More like your shower," Chloe said with a soft laugh. "I love you so much Beca."
"I love you too," Beca said quietly.
"I can't even explain my love for you, you're everything to me. I love you more than a best friend." Chloe stopped herself and let out an anxious side. Of course she would say that when she was finally getting Beca to open up to her. "Sorry."
"Don't be, I feel the same," Beca replied.
"Can I say something?" Chloe asked anxiously. This probably wasn't the best time, but with Beca being so vulnerable, maybe it was a good time.
Beca nodded.
"I'm in love with you." Chloe let out a sigh of relief and braced herself for the worst.
"Oh thank god," Beca said. "I'm in love with you too." She paused and took a shaky breath, trying to get the crying out of her system. "You've helped me through so much with my mom and I just feel like we're already a couple and I want to make it official. I was too afraid to ask."
"Yes," Chloe said with a yawn. "I would love to be your girlfriend."
Beca smiled, giving Chloe a quick kiss on the lips. "Good."
"Hey Bec? Try to get some sleep, okay? I know you've been crying most nights because of your mom but tonight I'm not going to leave your side at all. I'll be right here holding you all night long, I promise." She linked hands with Beca and pulled her closer.
"Okay," Beca agreed. "I'm exhausted."
"Me too. Merry Christmas, Beca."
"Merry Christmas, Chlo."