Al POV
Calum and I had decided that I would be sleeping in his bed tonight. Or more so, I had decided. I needed to talk to him. So much had happened today. Did I regret everything I had done? Sure. Did he? Not so sure about that. He couldn't throw away his friendship. He couldn't throw away all of the band's hard work for this stupid little squabble.
That night, I had taken my clothes from my room and walked over to Calum's apartment. When I knocked on the door, it was Luke who opened it, looking tired and withdrawn. He didn't say anything, but just opened the door to let me in. I presumed he knew it was easier that way than to actually try and argue with me.
When I got into Calum's room, he was just coming out of the bathroom, hair wet and only boxers on. I blushed a bit, but I couldn't help but stare. He caught me and smirked, opening his mouth to say something arrogant and cheeky but I cut him off. "Yes I was checking you out; no you have no right to be cocky."
He chuckled and walked over to kiss me after wriggling his sweatpants on. I would have loved to get lost in the kiss but something was bothering the both of us.
"Calum?" I murmured.
He sighed, knowing what was to come. "Yeah."
"What did you guys say to each other today? The truth, preferably," I hesitated.
He sighed again. He knew he wouldn't be able to get out of this. I was nothing if not stubborn. He made sure that we were both ready to go to bed before he could tell me anything, wearing out my already thin patience. I sat down on his bed, my leg shaking with anxiety, and my teeth chewing on my lower lip.
He sat down next to me grudgingly. He didn't really want to tell me, I could tell. But I didn't really care. I was going to get it out of him one way or another.
And he told me. Everything. I was still a little suspicious. He could have lied at any point or omitted some of the details, but the way that he said everything made me trust him. I knew it was hard to make up a lie right off the bat with so much detail and emotion. No one was that good of an actor, particularly not Calum. I'd seen him try acting. It was horrendous.
By the time he had finished, my jaw was practically on the floor. I didn't know where to start. This was a major confession. "Oh my gosh, I guess there must be a reason that you were with those two other girls before me, right? You wanted to prove that you weren't gay?" I tried to diffuse the tension but it must not have worked because Calum looked at me darkly. "Sorry." I looked down.
He ran a hand through his hair and fell back on the pillows, making the bed jump a little bit. That probably wasn't the best way to sympathize with him, but I wasn't really good at this kind of stuff. It seemed like forever ago that we had gone on our first date to the aquarium.
I lay down on his chest and he started stroking my hair. I nudged my head up towards him and noticed him blinking up at the ceiling. Whomever it was who called him gay must have really hurt him. It was up to me to pick up the pieces. That was way too much responsibility for me. I wasn't great at doing this kind of thing. I had never done it before. I had never had the responsibility of another person on me. It was always just me and I was content with it. But I had to try.
"Calum, you know there's nothing wrong with being gay, but I know it hurt you and I want you to know that I'm here for you." Well that was a failure. God, I was soo bad at this.
He let out a deep, shaky breath, then smiled at me. It wasn't a huge smile, or even a grin, but I could tell he knew that I was trying. I smiled back at him and kissed his cheek. We eventually just fell asleep like that. Saying that I woke up the next morning with a major crick in my neck was an understatement.
**********
I cursed under my breath. Damn paparazzi. Calum had just received a call from their management, who were raging about why there were multiple articles claiming that the band would be breaking up soon and that Ashley and Ashton might be breaking up too, "breaking the hearts of millions of teenage girls. Right after they won the award for Choice New Couple, too!" I couldn't help but roll my eyes at that. Ashley would still get all of the attention, after all of this. It was like her.
Calum was really mad at me, I could tell. I'd gotten him in trouble with management.
He threw the phone on the couch and walked over to my apartment, not even waiting for me to tag along. He was really mad.
We knew that Ashton would be there. He barely ever slept in his own room anymore. He was a little puppy being pulled on a leash by Ashley. It was pretty pathetic. He didn't even see it. He was always with her, day and night. And they wondered why we thought they slept together.
Calum entered the apartment first, not closing the door; not really doing anything but walking straight into the apartment. It was like I wasn't even there. I guess I kind of deserved it, though. I slowly closed the door behind me, trying not to be too loud so they wouldn't notice us at first, but it didn't really matter because Calum immediately yelled, "Ashton, I don't care if you're sleeping, get down here, management called!"
We heard a loud thump from upstairs, some yelling and cursing, and a few minutes later, Ashton appeared, looking alert and disheveled. He was only wearing sweatpants that looked like they were just sloppily put on. Soon after him, Ashley came down, wearing an oversized T-shirt and shorts that could barely be seen underneath, rubbing her eyes and yawning. "Thanks for the wake-up call, Calum, I really needed that."
Ashton tutted. "Nevermind that, what did management want?"
Calum pulled Ashton aside, while Ashley, obviously realizing this was meant to be a private conversation, walked over to me and started striking a conversation.
**********
Calum POV
"I'm sorry, mate. For yesterday. You were right."
Ashton looked taken aback. "What does any of that have to do with management?"
"They called today. Started yelling at me about why it had gotten all over the tabloids that we might be breaking up, and that you and Ashley might be breaking up," I explained.
He nodded, looking grim.
I distracted myself for a moment. "Mate, did you sleep with her?"
Ashton looked at me like I was crazy. "Of course I slept with her. You think she'd let me sleep on the floor?"
I chuckled and put my head in my hands. "I mean, like, did you shag her? Man, she's really changed you, hasn't she? Few months back, you would've been all over her and proud."
"Oh, no man," he said, finally understanding what I meant, "she told me she wanted to wait 'til she was married."
"You mean you tried to shag her, then?"
He nodded.
"And she rejected you?"
He nodded again.
I started cracking up. "How are you taking this so well? She just rejected the Ashton Irwin!"
He just shook his head. He leaned towards me and whispered, "Trust me, I didn't take it well at first. It's horrifying to think you won't be able to have sex for a long while."
"So then you want this to be a long, serious relationship?" I was surprised. This wasn't like Ashton at all. I didn't even know how long it'd been since they'd started dating, but Ashley must have been one manipulative girl.
He nodded.
I sighed and continued the previous conversation we had been having. "She told the paps. Al, I mean. I don't believe her sometimes." I sighed. "But she's the first girlfriend that I've actually cared about for a while now...and that I haven't been using just to prove that...that - that I'm not gay." It took a lot for me to say that. I swallowed. It actually felt good to tell someone.
I had told Luke before, of course, but that was different. I had felt like he was the only one whom I could trust, back then. Now, even after everything that had happened, I guessed I could trust Ashton. It also didn't hurt that Luke had told them, because I probably would have been too scared and insecure to tell them myself.
Ashton looked at me, then hugged me, patting my back. When we pulled back, we saw Ashley and Al staring between the two of us with their mouths open. Ashton and I laughed. It was pretty funny to see them like that.
"Close your mouth, Ashley, we are not a codfish," Ashton reprimanded mockingly.
Ashley squealed. "You do remember!" She threw her arms around him and giggled.
They made me sick sometimes. And they also left people in a kind of awkward situation. I was still mad at Al. It was way out of line for her to call the paps. After Ashley and Ashton had stopped being really cheesy and disgusting, Ashton came up to me and bro-hugged me once more, Ashley hugged Al (then the other way around), and we left. Well, it was more like I left and Al followed.
**********
"Calum!" Al called after me, after Ashley and Ashton had closed the door and stopped being so gooey. "Cal, can we please talk about this?"
"There's nothing to talk about!" I pointed out. "You basically betrayed me and my friends to the paparazzi and got us in trouble with our management."
She looked angry when she said, "Your friends? You had a huge fight with them yesterday and now you're good old chums again? If you don't hold grudges with them, then why do you have to hold a grudge with me?"
"Because what we - the boys and I - had fought over was stupid! But this fight right now is not. You got me in trouble. This is huge. We were at our highest point so far as a band, then you just brought us back down! I'd expect this from Ryan Seacrest, but not my own girlfriend," I said, disappointed that she would even think of doing such a thing.
She looked hurt by my words, but at this point I couldn't care less. She had hurt me too. All I wanted was a girlfriend who would support me, not one who would let her jealousy take over her mind and not think about the consequences. Was it too much to ask that the first girlfriend I actually cared for be smart enough to know that if she goes to the paps, it only has bad results? Apparently so.
"I wish we could just have a normal relationship where the paparazzi don't matter, Calum! Where it can just be you and I!" she yelled at me.
I withdrew. "So do I, Al. So do I."
**********
dedication to @summerriddle1 for finding out that heilla's name translates to ""charm"" in icelandic! ((that was the key word, btw: translate.)) charm, as in charming bc she was way too charming? no one? ok im sorry haha
next chapter's dedication goes to the first person who can tell me what ashton was making a reference to when he said, "close your mouth, ashley, we are not a codfish."
salute and a picture of jodie also to the side!
ashley x