I waited for Mitchell after school outside the gym doors. He had basketball practice and it should be ending soon. I felt like a total creeper just standing here waiting for him to come. I was busy playing with my nails that I didn’t even see him walk pass by me, he didn’t even notice me standing there. I was like some kind of wall flower.
“Mitchell!” I shouted.
He turned around. “What’s up, Hayley?”
“Can we talk?”
“Sure. Will you walk with me to my car? I’m kind of in a hurry.”
“Okay.”
There was a breeze outside and my hair flew all over the place. I had a rubber band with me so I pulled it up into a bun.
“So what do you want to talk about?”
“Carrie.”
His shoulders stiffened. “What about her?”
“Were you two…dating? In secret?”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because I read it in Carries journal. She didn’t have your name in there, all she had was your initials so that’s why I’m asking.”
“Does it matter?” Mitchell stopped walking and looked around the parking lot for his car.
“Yes, it does.”
“What do you want from me?”
“The truth. All I want is the truth and I think I deserve that.”
Mitchell glanced over with me with a sad expression on his face. He felt sorry for me. He was sorry about the fact that I wouldn’t let this go.
“We were dating for a little bit. Then we broke up.”
“Why?”
He sighed. “Carrie wanted to tell you but I didn’t want her to. I wanted to keep it a secret. We disagreed on almost everything. Then there was Jeremy. He’s my best friend and I hated lying to him but he was in love with Carrie.”
“How long were you two together?”
“A few months. Not that long. Like I said, I couldn’t do that to Jeremy.”
“Did you brake up with her?”
He nodded. “Next thing I knew, I was at her funeral. I thought that me breaking up with her made her kill herself but people said that wasn’t the case. For awhile I blamed myself.”
I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t have anymore questions and frankly, I didn’t want to hear anymore. I was mad at Carrie for keeping it a secret but I wasn’t the only one who was being kept from this information. Jeremy had no clue about what happened.
“Please don’t say anything to Jeremy. He’s having hard time dealing with Carrie’s death and the car accident.”
“Everyone’s been having a hard time dealing with that.”
Mitchell looked up to the sky. I looked up to and saw a butterfly drifting through the air. It looked so elegant and graceful, like it had no care in the world. I wanted to be it so badly.
“Promise you won’t say anything,” Mitchell said looking back down at me.
“I promise.”
He gave a half hearted smile. “Thanks.”
I didn’t have to walk home because mom let me borrow her car. Before I went home I made a quick stop at Carrie’s. I haven’t visited Shawn since he was in the hospital. I knocked on the door. Right away he opened up and gave me a hug.
“Whoa, someone’s feeling better.”
“A lot,” Shawn said.
He moved away from the door and I stepped inside. Shawn walked upstairs and I followed behind him. In order to get to Shawn’s room we had to pass by Carrie’s. I noticed that there were a ton of cardboard boxes everywhere and all her clothes were piled on the bed. Papers were strewed across the floor.
“What’s going on in here?” I asked.
“Mom’s moving Carries stuff to the attic.”
I walked inside her room. The walls didn’t have anymore pictures and it made the whole room look barren and empty.
“You can look around if you want. Take anything, too. Mom won’t notice.”
I looked around. There wasn’t anything here that I wanted. I had pretty much already gotten everything that I left here. I rummaged through the pile of clothes and found nothing that belonged to me.
When I was about to leave her room, I noticed a big blue book in the corner on the floor. I picked it up and realized that it was the Cinderella book that Carrie and I would always read. It was our favorite story growing up as kid. Every time we had a sleep over when we were little, we read the story.
“Can I keep this?” I asked Shawn waving the book around.
He shrugged. “I don’t see why not.”
“Thanks.” I tucked the book under my arm.
“Is that all you want?” he asked.
“Pretty much. Not unless there’s pictures of us.”
“Mom has those.” Figures.
“Well I guess this is it.”
“Did you just come here to go through my sister’s bedroom?” Shawn asked playfully.
I smiled. “No. I came here to see you.”
“Good.”
My phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket, not bothering to look at the screen to see who it was.
“Hello?”
“Hayley, it’s Logan. Your mom wanted me to tell you to come home now. She’s wants to tell us something that’s important but she’s waiting for you.”
“Alright. I’m on my way.”
“Okay. Bye.”
“Bye.”
I looked up at shawn’s sad face. I felt really bad. I came here to see him and as soon as I get here, I have to go.
“I’ve gotta run.”
“To your boyfriend?’
“He’s not my boyfriend. My mom has something important to tell us but she’s waiting for me.”
Shawn shoved his hands in his pockets. “Well, come visit me again and soon.”
“I will,” I said giving him a hug.
When I got home, mom was in the kitchen cooking. As soon as the front door shut. Molly came running downstairs. She wrapped her arms around my legs. Logan came down as well and I was surprised to see Steve.
“Come sit down. Dinner’s ready,” mom said gesturing for us to sit at the table.
I sat down across form Logan and Molly sat at my right. Steve and Mom were sitting at the opposite ends. Logan smirked at me before turning his attention to my mom.
“Ok. So, the rehearsal dinner is now set in stone,” mom began. She passed a bowl of mashed potatoes to Logan and handed me a platter of biscuits. I was surprised that we were all sitting at the table eating like a normal family. I take that back. We’re not a normal family. I freaking kissed my soon to be brother.
“When is it?” Steve asked, piling potatoes in his plate.
“This coming up Friday night. Then the wedding is on Saturday.”
I almost dropped my fork. “I thought the wedding was supposed to be in three weeks.” I said.
“I know but they had a cancellation and they were able to bump up the date.”
“What about all those invitations you sent out to people? What’s gonna happen there?”
“Rose and I made many, many, many phone calls and most of the guests were still able to come. In fact it worked out for a few who weren’t going to come but for other’s, it was complicated.”
“How many people are coming?” Molly asked.
“Around 300.”
I sighed. I thought I was going to have a little time to prepare for the wedding. Everything was so overwhelming, I could barely take it. I took deep breaths before I started hyperventilating.
Dinner went by pretty fast, I excused myself early making up some excuse that I had a stomach ache. Too keep my mind off things I started unpacking the few boxes that were left in my room. I was so busy that I didn’t even have time to permanently move in.
I noticed that there was a lot of Luke’s stuff mixed in with mine. A few sweatshirts, a baseball cap, and a few other things that he had left at the old house when he visited. I grabbed an empty box and threw all his crap in there. When I made sure I had gotten everything of his together, I sat down on my bed and dialed his number.
“Hayley?” he answered.
“Yup. I was wondering if you could come by tomorrow?”
“I can’t tomorrow.”
“How about Wednesday.”
“Yeah, that’s not good either.”
I let out a deep breath. This was way to complicated. “Fine. When is it a good day for you?”
“Um…Friday.”
“Friday? I can’t. I have rehearsal dinner that night.”
“I didn’t say anything about night. I can do it after school.”
“Alright.”
“Can I ask you what for?”
“You’ll see on Friday,” I said and hung up the phone.
I fell back onto the bed and closed my eyes, hoping that sleep would take over soon.