So here's the second update guys!
If anyone wants to make a cover, please let me know, thanks :)
Vote and comment, thank you jaanis :* :*
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I mentally prepared myself and went in. The graveyard was completely silent, with no one in sight.
Koi yaad hi nahi karta hoga apne murde saathiyon ko? Har saal aati hoon, aur har saal yeh qabristaan khaali aur sunsaan hota hai.
I reached Ammi's grave and sat cross-legged, pouring my heart out to her.
"Kaisi hain aap Ammi? Aap humein miss toh nahi karti hogi na. Agar miss karti toh waapis kyun nahi aa jati? Nahi raha jaata mujhse aap ke baghair. Nahi sambhala jaata Ayaan, Rizwan aur Sabrina ko. Mujhe aapki bohot zaroorat hai, khuda ke liye waapis aa jaayein." Tears started rolling down my face. A lump got stuck in my throat but I kept talking, telling her about our day.
"Aaj school ka pehla din tha Ammi. Rizwan aur Sabrina phir se late ho gaye the, hamesha ki tarah. Rizwan ne toh ek ladki ko pasand bhi kar li hai. Bohot acchi ladki hai. Aur Ayaan ki baat hi mat karo, uski aur Sabrina ka jhagarna band hi nahi hota. Badmaash beta hai aapka. Bohot tang karta hai mujhe. Aap agar aake usse daant dein, toh woh abhi line par aa jaaye. Usse kahiye na Ammi, ke mujhe tang na karein. Kahiye na." Arms suddenly came around me and gently pulled me back into him. I recognized the hug and leaned back, crying against Ayaan.
"Mujhe pata tha ke tum aaj yahin hogi. Kya laga? Rizwan aur Sabrina ko nahi pata iska matlab mujhe bhi nahi pata?" His voice was hoarse.
"Kyun chali gayi humein chod kar? Kyun?" I cried, fisting Ayaan's shirt in my hands. Whoever said that time heals wounds was a liar. Time only makes them worse. Waqt ke zariye hum sirf unn zakhmon ke saath jeena seekh lete hai. Waqt zakhm ko bhar nahi deta, waqt zakhm ko aur bhi taaza kar deta hai.
"Bas karo Aapi. Dekhein na Ammi, aapki beti kitna ro rahi hai. Mujhe bhi rula diya usne." I looked up to see tears streaming down his face also. I wiped them away.
"Ayaan main bohot buri hoon na." He shook his head.
"Nahi Aapi, tum duniya ki sabse acchi Aapi ho. Itna kuch sehne ke baad bhi tumhaare paas itni himmat hai, yeh be-hadd fakhr ki baat hai hamare liye. Meri Aapi na kabhi kamzor thi, aur na kabhi hogi. Ammi bhi bohot khush hogi tumse."
He turned to Ammi's grave and started talking to her, sitting cross-legged like me. "Aaj pandra saal ho chuke Ammi. Rizwan aur Sabrina ko yeh bhi nahi pata ke aap unki Ammi hai. Humne yeh baat abhi tak nahi batayi unko. Unko abhi bhi lagta hai ke Nikhat unki maa hai. Sahi waqt aane par hum bata denge unko bhi. Maine pichle saal bhi vaada kiya tha aapse." I sat quietly, listening to his soothing voice. "Lekin darr lagta hain. Woh kaise seh paayenge yeh sach? Unka rad-e-amal kaisa hoga?"
"Ammi aap ko pata hai? Har saal ki tarah, Aapi ne aaj bhi aloo ke parathe banaye the. Aapke favourite the na. Ammi, Aapi bohot khayal rakhti hain humaara. Akeli woh sab kuch sabar ke saath sambhalti hain. Main kitna bura beta hoon na aapka. Aapki beti ki madad bhi nahi kar sakta. Kitna khudgarz hoon." I looked at him and wiped more tears off his face.
"Nahi Ammi, jab bhi main ghussa kar jaati hoon, jab bhi main bohot thaki hui hoti hoon, toh yeh teeno meri bohot madad karte. Kabhi mujhe shikayat dene ka mauqa hi nahi dete. Duniya mein aise bhai behen nahi honge jo apni Aapi ke har baat maan lete hain."
"Accha, jo abhi meri shikayat kar rahi thi, uska kya? Dekhein Ammi, these two-faced people." He tried joking. I laughed lightly.
"Mazaak kar rahi thi paagal. Tum mujhe tang zaroor karte ho, lekin mujhe koi shikayat nahi hai usse. Tang kiya karo, mazaa aata hain." I said, winking. A watery smile spread across his face. I checked my watch and jumped up.
"Ammi, Rizwan aur Sabrina ka ghar aane ka time ho chuka hai, ab humein ijaazat dein. Happy birthday Ammi." I cried a little more as I placed the bouquet on her grave. We bid her farewell and walked out. I took a tissue out of my purse and passed one to Ayaan. We wiped our faces off and tossed the tissue in the bin placed outside the cemetery.
"Kaisi kismat hai, aaj unki saalgira, aur aaj hi unki barsi." Ayaan said, smiling sadly.
"Ayaan, tum kuch chupa rahe ho mujhse." I said as soon as we got into the car. "Kuch kehna chah rahe ho na, khul ke kaho. Maine kabhi tumhein roka hai?"
"Nahi Aapi, main kyun kuch chupaonga?" After seeing the look on my face, he sighed. "Aapi, tum thak nahi jaati? Hum sab ko sambhal ke?" I kept quiet for a little, thinking how to answer.
"Kabhi bhi nahi. Jab bhi aisa lagta hai ke main haar maan loon, mujhe woh din yaad aa jaata hai. Agar hum uss din naa bhagte, toh shayad aaj tum Ammi ke saath, mere bhi qabar par bethe hote."
"Aapi aisi baat na karo. Tumhein kuch nahi ho sakta. Main hone nahi doonga." The stubborn look on his face was so childish and funny that I couldn't help but laugh
"Yaar, itne bade aur lambe ho gaye ho, phir bhi bacchon jaisi zid hai tumhaari." I stopped at a red light and turned to look at him. "Ayaan, if you think I'm going to send you back in that house then you don't know me well enough."
"It's not the matter of you sending us back. I want to know where you get your strength from. Itna sab kuch ho chuka hai itni si umar mein, phir bhi itni taaqat hai tum mein."
"I know jaan. I get my strength from you guys. Agar tum log na hote, toh mujh mein himmat kahan se aati? Mera dil bohot khush hota hai jab tum log muskura kar khel rahe hote hain. Par kahin mujhe lagta hai ke tum log mujhse naraaz ho. I took you guys away from your parents, Ayaan. Nafrat nahi karte tum log mujhse?" My eyes watered but I blinked the tears away. Seeing the light turn green, I continued driving.
"Nahi Aapi, Nikhat aur Nadeem Khan kabhi maa-baap kehlane ke laiq nahi hai. Tumne hum sab ko uss insaan se bacha liya, jo insaan kehlane ke bhi qaabil nahi hai. Usne apne kiye par koi gham hai hi nahi. Bhala hum tumse nafrat kaise kar sakte? Jis aurat ne humaare liye itna sab kuch qurbaan kar diya ho, khwaab dekhna band kar diya ho, saari khushiyaan hamare naam likh di ho, uss aurat se hum kaise nafrat kar sakte? Nahi Aapi, hum tumse nafrat nahi, aitbaar karte hain." He wasn't talking like a boy about to turn 20 in a few months. He was talking like a man who had gained too much wisdom in too little time. He was talking like a boy who had been forced to age too quickly.
"Allah kare main uss aitbaar ko nibha sakoon."
"Tumne poori mazbooti se nibhaya hai, kabhi gumaan mat karna." I lifted a hand from the steering wheel and ruffled Ayaan's hair. He forced a smile on his face and turned to look out of the window.
"Main soch raha tha, ke main bhi koi naukri dhoond loon."
"Iski kya zaroorat hai? Apni padhai par ghaur karo, naukri kyun karni hai?"
"Aapi, agar main tumse kuch nahi chupa sakta, toh tum bhi mujhse kuch nahi chupa sakti."
Itna bada raaz toh chupa hi liya tumse Ayaan. Aise bohot se cheezein hai jis ke maine kabhi zikr bhi nahi kiya.
"Maine pichle hafte dekha tha, tum bohot pareshaan ho rahi thi kyun ke paise kam hai, na? Saare bills jama karne hote hai, rozdaar khareedari ke liye raqam bachani hoti hai, hum jo cheez maangte hain, uske liye tum paisa bacha ke rakhti ho. Lekin kitna karogi? Tankhwaa toh ek hi hain na. Agar meri koi part-time job bhi lag jaaye, toh tumhaari madad bhi kar paaonga." I tried to speak but he interrupted me. "Aur vaise, I'm almost twenty, with no work experience. Yeh mere mustaqbil ke liye bhi faidamand hai." I kept driving, silent.
"Main nahi chahti ke tumhaari padhai par koi asar ho jaaye. Main sambhal toh rahi hoon Ayaan, you don't need to do this. Inn sab ke baare mein tumhein fikar karne ki zaroorat nahi hai." My hands involuntarily tightened on the steering wheel.
"Par main karna chahta hoon. Please Sakinah Aapi, maan jao na." He pouted. I fought with myself. Maybe it would be good for us.
"Agar tumhaari grades neeche gaye, ya mujhe lage ke tum par kuch zyaada hi bojh hai, toh tum naukri chod do ge." I decided. "These are the terms that you have to agree to, otherwise I won't allow it."
"Done! Thank you Aapi!" He side hugged me with excitement from over the console.
"Arre paagal, main drive kar rahi hoon!" I scolded, giggling lightly. He sat back with a smile playing on his lips.
"Ek aur baat poochoon?" Ayaan whispered, suddenly sounding serious.
"Poocho na, what type of behooda sawaal is that?"
"Itna sab kuch sehti rahi tum, humaare khatir. Dukh nahi hua? Dard nahi hota?" He turned towards to me, to catch every expression on my face.
"Bohot dard hota hai. Lekin yeh dukh uss khushi se kai zyaada kam hai jo hum sab ne mil kar banayi hai. Yeh khushi humaari nayi zindagi ke liye hai, jo uss purane zindagi ka dukh se bohot zyaada hai." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ayaan discreetly swipe at his eyes.
"Aansoo bhi mujhse chupayega?" I commented nonchalantly. Ayaan stiffened and gave me a sheepish look. "Main tumhein bohot acchi tarah se jaanti hoon Ayaan."
We reached home and I parked the car. As soon as we got out of the car, Sabrina and Rizwan came running towards us.
"Assalamoalaykum Aapi!" They said in unison. I smiled, clearing my throat to make sure I didn't sound like I'd cried.
"Walaikumassalam. Kaisa tha school?"
"Haan main toh padosi hoon na." Ayaan fumed sarcastically, looking highly offended at being flat-out ignored.
"Toh aap yahaan kya kar rahe hain? Jayein apna ghar." Sabrina waved her hand towards the other houses on our street. Ayaan came and pulled her braid.
"OW baal toh chodo. Subah mein teri manhoosiyat ke baad Aapi ne itni mehnat se banayi hai. Khaberdaar jo tune phir se kharab kar di toh." Sabrina freed her hair from Ayaan's grip and hid behind Rizwan, glaring out at Ayaan from behind his back.
"Main apna hi ghar par hoon churail. Aur agar padosi hota bhi, toh yeh hai teri mehmaan-nawazi?" I gave Ayaan a warning glance and turned to Rizwan who was looking between Ayaan and me with a scrutinizing look.
"Were you two crying?"
"No."
"Kitna jhoot bologi Aapi. Har raat tum roti ho, yeh hum teeno ko pata hai. Aaj kyun ro rahi thi? Aur yeh Ayaan bhai kyun roye hue hain?" Sabrina chimed in.
"Kuch nahi hua hai mujhe, bas thak gayi hoon aur sir mein dard bhi hain." My head felt unusually heavy and I felt slightly dizzy.
"Jaa ke aaram kar lo," Ayaan said, grabbing my hand and leading me inside.
"Khana tumhaare khalu ne banana hai?" I reminded him.
"Offo, aaj bahir se kha lenge, tum aaram kar lo." Rizwan said. "Ek din tumhaare haath ka khaana nahi khaayenge toh toofan nahi aayega. Too tired to argue, I trudged upstairs and laid down on my bed. Suddenly, I remembered the guy I ran into at the store. He was so rude, khuda jaane kyun usko yaad kar rahi hoon.
Kyun dil ki dhadkan tez hoti jaa rahi hai, sirf ek yaad se? Aur achanak se woh kyun mujhe yaad aa raha hai?
After some time, Rizwan came into my room with balm.
"Nahi Riz, main theek hoon. Tum bhi thak gaye honge, jaa ke fresh ho jao." Despite my protests, he sat down and began rubbing the balm against my head.
"Tum mera kamra saaf kar sakti ho aur main tumhaare liye itna bhi nahi kar sakta?" I looked into his 17 year old face. Sometimes, they seem so much older to me, they aren't like the kids I had run away from home with.
"Kaisa tha, Mahreen ke saath." A smile crept up on his face.
"Mahreen bohot acchi hain Aapi. I think mujhe usse pyaar ho gaya hai." Rizwan started telling me all about her. A warm feeling spread through me as I saw the shine in his eyes as he rambled on and on about her.
"Tum bhi usse milogi na?" I nodded weakly at him, my eyelids suddenly getting heavy. My vision began to blur and my head began spinning.
"R...Riz...Rizwan, main..." He looked worriedly at me.
"Aapi? Aapi?! Ayaan bhai!" That's the last thing I heard before I blacked out.
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Favourite dialogue/part?
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