I do the only thing I know how to--I run. I run away from everything I've ever known, because they could not accept me. I could not understand why. Why could they have not ignored one couple, as they did to hundreds in our communities? What made our relationship so much worse than the others that meant they resorted to murder? Sexuality did not make Axel nor myself any less of a human being. I could not comprehend how they could not treat us like one.
Society has been brainwashed to believe that we didn't belong. That we did not fit in. Why was separation the first answer to any new situation involving sexuality, race or religion?
I did not understand.
I run to my parents' car and jump in the front seat--they never did lock it. I remember a trick an old friend had taught me to hot-wire their car as I had no keys. It takes a few tries before the engine sparks to life. I put everything back into place and then have a look in the car for money. I find ten pounds in the side pocket of the passenger's side. Content with my findings, I put my feet on the acceleration and drive away.
I just could not bear to see Axel's murder to be seen as an 'accident'.
I didn't want to live in that town anymore. The people were too wrapped up in society's clutches. I only wish I'd had realised sooner, and then Axel may have still been alive. We could have ran away together. We just knew we weren't old enough for such a drastic move. Although, if I had the ability to go back in time, I would run away with him or would have left him alone--anything to stop his death. But I couldn't.
He was dead because of me. And if I didn't leave or comply with society's rules, I would share the same fate. In all honesty, I knew my mothers regretted trusting me--and for being so trusting in general for leaving the car unlocked.
I just knew that the love they had once held for me had now turned to contempt and loathing.
What scared me most was the fact that I no longer cared.