Kakashi let go of my wrists as the blades of Kajiya liquefied and slipped back down my arms. I dropped to my knees, covering my face with my hands as my hood had fallen, and a thousand thoughts ran through my mind. I was disappointed that I had lost my temper and failed over and over and over again. I would never be half as good as Kakashi. And if I weren’t as good as Kakashi I might as well not try at all.
“You shouldn’t overwhelm yourself.” Kakashi said from where he was crouched in front of me. I wanted to reach out and strangle him.
“You shouldn’t overwhelm yourself.” I repeated in shaky disbelief. “What else am I supposed to do Kakashi? Thinking too hard…well, it doesn’t make me half as good as you, but it makes me feel like I can be. You’re always there to prove me wrong. Whether it’s intentional or not you’re actions always remind me of what a disgrace I am.” I told him harshly and stood up, pulling my hood back up.
“Kit…” He rested a hand on my shoulder. I curled my fingers around his wrist.
“I don’t know why I even try. I haven’t had a clear thought in six, maybe seven years.” By now Naruto and Sakura were at our sides listening to the conversation. I tightened my grip on his wrist and his fingers flexed. Any more pressure and I would fracture his wrist. With the other hand I reached up and pulled off my Kusagakure headband, dropping it into the grass.
“It isn’t worth it.” I said quietly before darting off. I didn’t need anyone telling me I shouldn’t give up just because of one little fight. I didn’t need anyone telling me I was a great ninja and should keep doing what I do. In reality, what I should do is go back to Kusagakure, apologize to my boss for running off, and dance until I drop dead from dehydration.
I rolled my sleeves back and pinned them as I slowed to a walk. I stopped in front of the door and knocked. As I waited I crossed my arms tightly over my stomach and looked down, breathing through the tears and trying to calm myself down.
The door opened. “Huh?” The person asked themselves. “What are you doing here?” He asked.
“Shikamaru, is your mother home?”
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I had a long chat with Yoshino about what I should be doing in life. She told me straight how I was being stupid and that I certainly was as good as Kakashi. She said it was just because I had it in my head that I wasn’t and I was never going to beat him if I thought like that. She also said that I needed to get my head straight from the move and new problems Konoha held for me.
I apologized to Kakashi, got my headband back, and made it up to Team Seven by taking them out for ramen. They shouldn’t have had to see me like that and I hated for them to. Sasuke would surely never respect me in the least, but Sakura and Naruto seemed to get over my fit rather quickly.