4
The next few weeks were pure bliss. It seemed like everything had fallen back into place and I had finally gotten my best friend back. Just like old times we were going out, acting up, just living our best lives as we got to know one another all over again. It was like the events of the past few years had never happened, as if it was just erased from both of our memories. While the events of the past still stuck with me and I knew we'd eventually have to face what had happened, I was having too much fun enjoying the fun times we were having to worry about that. All the harmless flirting was beginning to bring those feelings of lust for him back up and I found myself falling into the same trap that I had fallen into all those years ago. Over the past few weeks we'd been spending almost all of our free time together. We had even been working together trying to get him back on his feet. Apartment and job searching and even booking some studio time so he could get back into doing what he loves.
"What you thinking about ma?" he questioned me, for the millionth time I was caught in a daze. Us. That's what I wanted to say. I wanted to reveal that the only thing on my mind and the only thing that had been on my mind for so long was me and him. I wanted August. I don't know if it was because I knew he was no good for me, or if it was because he minded me of the past life we shared but I wanted him. I wanted to be with him and only him and was ready to tell him. "I'm thinking about-" A loud screech that could have been heard from a mile away.
"August!" the voice screamed catching the attention of all five of the other Applebee's guest.
"Shit." he cursed under his breath, clearly he knew the girl. As she approached I was able to see that her loud mouth clearly matched her persona. She had those long strip lashes that you get from the dollar store on, paired with basic badly done wig, a pair of five below leggings and a plain white tee. Everything about this girl screamed I'm from the projects. "The hell do you want man?"
"The hell do I want? I want to know why the hell you been dodging my calls August? Why the hell I gotta track you down to some damn Applebee's. I'm ya baby mama and you out here treating me like some damn hoe!"
"Baby Mama?" I questioned, I had to have heard her wrong. There is no way that this ratchet mess could be my August's baby mother. "Yea. Baby mama. Did I stutter or something." She rolled her neck and snapping at me, in the same gesture she went to rub her enlarged belly. It was clear that she was at least four months. A younger me would have already had this chick laid out across the floor just the second she said that but the more mature me decided to just brush it off especially since she was pregnant. There was no way I was going to let some pregnant hoodrat.
"Naw, I was just making sure that I heard you right." Still in shook I caught myself staring at her stomach.Just when I thought things were going good, just when I thought maybe just maybe the two of us would be able to actually be something, just when I was about to confess my feelings and tell August I was ready to go all in this had to happen.
"August who is this bitch anyways? Your little hoe of the week? You out here going on little dates when I'm over here going to doctor's appointments alone." Her attention and mine was now redirected towards August who seemed just as confused as me. We both watched him as he tried to explain what the hell was happening.
"First of all Lalia you done lost your damn mind coming for my girl like that. For two that ain't my damn baby in ya damn stomach." Though I tried to hold it back a slight smile crept across my face as he referred to me as his girl.
" What the hell you smiling at? And August you know damn well this is your baby you gonna claim my child!" At this point the screaming math had caught the attention of all the workers and customers and it was becoming increasingly embarrassing. "Look man I ain't claiming no child til I got some proof. Now leave you making a scene."
" You acting real funny now that you got something new to play with but it's cool. In a couple months she'll be gone and you will be taking care of this baby." She glanced at me with disgust as she rubbed her belly and finally walked out of the restaurant. The rest of dinner was silent as I just nodded at anything August said or gave a very vague response. The whole time I just sat there and thought about how close I was to everything I wanted with August. Just like that a crazy baby mother tore it all apart. Rather it was the truth or not I knew that things could not be the same going forward.
"You mad at me?" He asked as soon as we got in the car. Of course I'm mad. The man that I'm in love with is having a baby by someone else why would I not be mad is he crazy?
"What I gotta be mad about? We ain't together or nothing. We just friends. Your crazy baby mama drama don't have nothing to do with me."
"Adira I know you. I know ya ass is mad."
"Of course I'm mad. That bitch got me looking dumb infront of all them people causing a scene like that. You need to learn to keep ya hoes in line."
"You ain't mad about the scene you mad cause she's pregnant.
Nobody knew me how he knew me and even though I didn't express to him my desire to be with him I knew that he knew. He could read me like nobody else could and could predict my every thought and move. He knew I was in love with him just how I knew he was in love with me. Neither one of of had to say it we both just knew. "Is it yours?" was all I was able to say.
"Honestly. I don't know man there's a possibility but I don't know." My whole heart shattered at the words. " I know you mad ma. I'm sorry A."
"I'm not mad August I'm fucking hurt. I thought that I had someone who could open up to me about everything but it looks like you haven't changed a bit. You still lying all these years later. You still keeping secrets, we supposed to know everything about each other but yet again here you are holding back. You coulda told me. Then you did it with her at that, you really could've done better."
"I know," He ran his hands over his head in frustration. " You know I ain't plan on having another-"
"Stop August. There's no reason to start up that conversation tonight. I'm just ready to get into bed." I knew that the words that were going to come out of his mouth were only going to lead to a conversation that I was not ready to have. "I'm just ready to go home."
* * *
It's been a few days since the whole baby mama thing and I was not over it yet. Regardless of the pent up anger I felt August was still my friend after all so when he called me to help him move into the apartment that we had worked together to find I could not turn him down.
"Where do you want this at?" I held up his new comforter set so he could direct me to it's location.
"Just throw it in anywhere." I did, throwing it in a corner, we were currently just unboxing all the new things that we had bought during the past few weeks. Even though I didn't like it August had taken over Kev's spot and was making more money then ever before.
"The apartment came fully furnished?" The furniture that was there during our last visit still remained which is what led to the question.
"Not really but I paid the extra money for it. You know I don't got time to be out here furniture shopping I got shit to do." He was referring to the street mess he was in and I chose to ignore it, just aimlessly looking around as if I hadn't heard a word he said.
"Come here." He patted the spot next to him on the bare bed so that I could join him. I awkwardly sat next to him, as far apart as possible, until he grabbed me and made me lay across his chest. "I'm sorry. I really am."
"August don't," I tried to pull away put his grip only got tighter.
"I'm for real. We just getting back on good terms and here I go fucking shit up again. You been the realist one on my team for a long time and I ain't going to keep no more secrets from you, I promise."
Though I still wasn't over the situation I knew that there was no point holding a grudge against him. I had held one for years and it was time to let it all go.
The next few weeks were more than tense. Lalia had begun making daily appearances at August's new apartment, I still have no idea how she even got the address, when I was there and when I was not. She was approaching 32 weeks and the last few weeks could not seem to go any slower. The more she came around the less I could wrap my mind around the idea of her constantly being around for the next eighteen years. While a relationship with August was on the back burner it was still a constant though on my mind and with Lalia I don't think that it could ever be reality.
" Whatever August go fuck ya slut!" Lalia screamed as she slammed the door behind her. Lalia was the type of pregnant chick that likes to disrespect people because she knows the she is untouchable, little does she know that she got about eight weeks left of this disrespectful behavior before she gets dealt with. I let her little childish comments slide because I knew that I was either eight weeks away from never having to deal with her again or eight weeks away from being able to whoop her ass, either way each scenario seemed great to me.
The daily fights with Lalia became draining, each day it was something new. One day she was complaining about him not going to an appointment, the next she needed money for something stupid, another day she just found any excuse to be upset. Each day it seemed like she came up with a way to somehow show up causing a scene. "Sorry." This also became apart of the routine. As Lalia would cause a huge scene and leave, leaving August apologizing for once again.
"It's whatever, I think Imma just go." I grabbed my purse and attempted to go to the door, Lalia's visits always killed my mood, while I knew that they were bound to come each day they still managed to put me in such a bad mood that I did not even want to talk to August let alone be all in his face. I would just start inviting him to my place but I'd be damned if that hoe found my address and start popping up there. Plus my mom had some new boo thang coming around and I did not want to be anywhere near that. "Don't do that." He stopped me by grabbing my waist. " I said I was sorry A."
"You've been sorry for weeks, for years. It's always the same thing with you it's always been your sorry. You know what I don't even know why I continue to come over when I know she's just going to ruin my whole day. I deal with enough of the at work I should be here to relax."
"Look A, at this point you the only thing keeping me from ringing her neck. I need you around ma. We supposed to be bestie's, bestie's have to deal with bs like this."
"Whatever August." I laughed but deep down a part of me felt like I had been rejected. Friend zoned. In the same instant he wrapped his arms around me, confusing me with mix feelings once again and I let him. August was like a drug to me at this point and I was addicted.
"Let me take you out. Something to really show you I'm sorry. " He held on to me and gentle pressed his lips against my neck sending chills through my body. As much as I would love to have him take me out I had no energy for it.
"Or we can order some pizza and relax all night. I had a very long day and would love a foot massage. I'll take a rain check on the date though.
We sat and watched The Notebook as August rubbed my feet and listened to the issues of my day. Everything seemed perfect, like the teenage version of us when we would lay up all day after school. August must've been thinking the same thing because the next words to come of his mouth were " I missed you."
"I see you every other day."
"I know but you know what I mean. I miss when we were young and would do shit like this all day." At this point August had moved from the opposite end of the bed to on top of me, using his arms to lift himself up so that he hovered over me.
" I missed you too August."
"I really am sorry. For everything."
"I know you are. It's okay." At this point his lips were just inches away from mine and I could sense that they were about to touch.
The moment was soon ruined when a knock at the door occurred. An aggressive one. August reluctantly got up to answer it, the moment clearly dead I followed him and positioned myself on the couch.
" What the hell do you want man." The tone of his voice alone showed me that it was Lalia.
"I left something." She pushed past August and made her way into the living room. "Oh I see ya little hoe still here. For the hundredth time I brushed off the comments she made. Lalia took her place on the couch just a little farther down. She laid down and grabbed the remote, it was clear that she had no intent on leaving anytime soon.
"So she staying?" I asked August as he just stood there letting her getting comfortable. " I guess so he said with a shrug as he walked off into the kitchen. I followed behind him not content with his answer.
"August are you serious right now? You just going to let her stay?"
"What am I supposed to do kick her out?"
"UH DUH!" I whisper screamed. "That is exactly what you should do."
"You really going to make a big deal out of this? She's pregnant man."
"You know what I'm not going to make a big deal out of it, I'm going to just leave since you care so much about making sure your whore baby mama is cozy." At this point I was in the bedroom gathering my things in a rage.
"Girl ya ass lucky I'm pregnant or-" "Girl shut your ass up. Your ass is lucky you're pregnant or I would've been whooped yo ass hoe."I clapped back, done with her disrespectful comments all the time.
"You know what, ya ass just mad that I'm the one with the baby. I'm the one that got his ass on lock for the next eighteen years. You're mad that when your time is up I will still be around. I got the baby bitch that's why you really mad." A part of me wanted to cry just thinking about how apart of what she was saying may have been true.
"August you just going to let her talk to me like that?" At this point there was nothing I had left to say because I knew she was right so August was my last resort.
"The hell am I supposed to do?"
"Stick up for me duh!"
"Girl you just another hoe he ain't sticking up for you dumbass. You mean nothing! He gone leave yo ass and I will still be here, I'm here for life bitch."
"Get out." I spat. No come back could come to mind and that was the only thing I could come up with was a simple get out.
"This ain't your house, if August want me to leave he'll tell me." I turned my focus to August and his face said it all. There was no need to say anything else because I knew the choice he had made. I was a fool to think that he would actually stick up for me. A fool to even attempt to stay around and try to force something that was not mutual. A damn fool to even attempt to compete with a baby. As I walked toward the door August tried to stop me but I was way past a simple stop at this point I was done with him and the whole baby mama drama.
"Come on A you don't gotta leave."
"No August clearly I do. Clearly that bitch and that baby that probably ain't even yours means more to you then 20 years of friendship. Don't call me, text me , nothing. I knew I should've stayed away from your no good ass when I had the chance. I hate you!" With that I shut the door on him and walked away, tears in my eyes and hurt in my heart.