Trigger Warning: This chapter contains themes of mental illness and abuse.
Chapter 36
The cell phone in his pocket pulsed against his chest. Myles debated looking at the text. Finally, he pulled it out, his eyes moving across the words on the screen.
I have the surveillance footage, Frank's message said. Why don't you come out and take a look.
Waves of prickly heat rolled over him. Everything was about to come to light! They could figure out who this monster was and put him away for good. Hudson would be safe. She'd be able to put all her focus into getting better. No interruptions.
The sound of giggling pulled him back to the present. He looked up and found Annie staring at him, a lopsided grin spread across her discolored face.
"Hey, loverboy." She flinched, new spots of blood dotting her lower lip. "I do believe you're blushing. What ya thinkin' about?"
Myles' throat constricted and he shifted in his seat. "I need to check on something but I'll be right back. If it's possible, I'd like for Hudson to be here when I return. I need to speak with her."
Her green eyes narrowed as they connected with his. "I'll see what I can do."
When Myles stood up, the room started to spin. His hand grasped the back of the chair and he steadied himself. For a long moment, he stood, staring at her. The bruised face, blackened eyes, and swollen lips were only worsening as the seconds ticked by. "I'll be right back," he said. Sliding open the glass door, he walked into the brightly-lit hall.
His partner stood off to the side, far enough away that he couldn't be seen from the room. "How'd it go?" The muscle tensed in his jaw.
He let out a quick puff of air. "It was Annie," he confirmed. "And she's—something else." Myles rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "I want to see the footage."
Frank licked his lips and shifted his weight from one foot to the next. "Let's go somewhere private. Somewhere we can sit."
"The camera caught the attack?" he asked as he followed his partner down the hall.
"You can say that."
He wanted to say something more but decided against it, his partner's aloofness catching him off guard.
"Dr. Abadi said we could watch it down here." A moment later, they stepped into an empty room at the end of the hall. The silence felt deafening. Frank shut the door behind them, squelching the busy hospital noise.
Myles eyed him cautiously as they sank into the stiff cushions of the paisley-covered couch.
His partner's mouth set in a grim line. He closed his eyes and exhaled long and slow. "All these years on the force and I've never seen anything like this," he began, his voice unusually quiet. "If it were up to me, I would keep this from you. I don't think you need to see it. But I know there's no way you'd go for that."
Myles sucked in a deep breath. "It's not going to be easy to watch, but I need to know what happened. I need to see who did this to her. And then I'll find this guy and put him away for good."
With trembling fingers, Frank pulled his cell from the pocket of his shirt. Their gazes fixed and held, his partner's expression growing dark. "It isn't pretty."
Myles blinked hard before reaching for the cell. The gray and white footage flickered to life on the screen, revealing a grainy view of the darkened back alley. Several moments passed before a movement in the far right corner caught his attention. His breath stuck between his ribs. First a shadow and then a person came into view. He leaned forward, the phone quivering between his fingers. It was Hudson, and even in the muted light and fog, he could make out her expression clear as day.
Fear.
For what felt like an eternity, he watched the footage in silence, his breathing growing shallow and more rapid as the minutes ticked away. His partner sat next to him, his posture tense and guarded. When the video cut off, Myles cringed. A numbness moved through him, every molecule holding him together tingled with despair. The phone dropped from his grasp and tumbled onto the cushions. He leaned forward and covered his mouth with his fingers, what he'd just witnessed spiraling through him like a current of electricity.
The vague sensation of Frank's hand on his back felt less than comforting as he fought for control. He didn't say a word, he just sat in silence, letting Myles' release himself from the dam of pent-up emotions. Shaky fingers pushed through his hair and clenched into fists.
"What am I supposed to do?" he finally asked, his voice cracking. "How can I help her?"
A long silence stretched between them. "I don't know. Just be there for her if she decides to open up. Pray for her. The answers will come."
Myles let out an ill-humored laugh. "But you saw the footage," he said. "There was no one else there! She did that to herself."
Frank's mouth opened and then closed. Finally, he shrugged. "I never said this would be easy." He gave him another pat on the back. His partner fidgeted and then stiffened, obviously uncomfortable. Myles knew there was more. "They let Nick Lockhart go."
Of course, they did. They had to. He was an innocent man. The professor was free, as well he should be, but that didn't make Myles feel any better. The man slept with Hudson. Or Annie. Whatever. He might not be to blame for the attack, but he needed to blame someone for what happened so long ago. Only that someone took the easy way out.
The rage that bubbled inside his gut took Myles by surprise. What that monster did—all those years before. The damage he'd caused could never be erased. Hudson was broken. She had been for a long time. But if she cared about him, really cared about him the way he cared about her—then he wouldn't desert her.
He needed to speak with her. He needed to convince Annie it was the right thing to do.
"I need to go back," he said suddenly. "I need to talk to her." He jumped up from the couch and reached for the door.
"Myles, wait!" Frank called after him.
Myles turned to face his partner.
"Be gentle with her, okay? I know you have a lot of questions, but be careful. She's in an ugly place right now, and we don't know what all she needs to start healing. Or if she'll ever be healed."
"But you heard Jonathon!" he implored. "He said she could live a productive life. That she has before and she will again."
"I know that's what he said, but we still need to give her some space. Maybe you should wait to speak with her? At least until after her doctor gets here. Once she sees Hudson I'm sure we'll learn more. But until then, we need to take this slow. She's extremely fragile at the moment, and we don't want to make the situation worse."
"I'll take it slow," he promised. "I won't say or do anything that might set her off. But I do need to speak with her. It can't wait."
Frank cleared his throat. "I hope you know what you're doing, rookie."
Instead of answering, Myles turned into the hallway, taking long strides until he reached Hudson's room. Looking through the glass, he observed her for a moment. She sat unmoving in the bed, a blank expression blanketing her bruised face. The afternoon sun faded behind a cloud, leaving long shadows along the stark white walls. He glanced at the nurse's station then let himself inside before anyone noticed.
Hudson turned, her stare passive until realization washed over her. "Myles?" she asked, her voice quiet and shaky.
It was Hudson. Annie had come through after all.
"Hudson?" A rush of feelings clogged his throat. "Is that you?"
A strangled cry escaped her lips. She tried to smile, but it came out as a flinch. "I must look horrible if you can't even recognize me."
Her voice sounded strained as it broke through the haze of doubt and confusion. How could he have questioned her? He hadn't known Hudson for long, but he did know that despite her horrific past and the turmoil trapped inside of her, she was a kind and gentle person. Jonathon had told them she had no control over her alters. They were separate identities with their own personal agendas. How could he blame her for that?
"I'm sorry about all of this," she whimpered, her lower lip quivering. "I should have never left the apartment alone."
Sympathy tugged at his heart. Myles sunk into the chair, scooting it closer to the bed, and grasped her hand in his. "You don't have to be sorry. This isn't your fault." He forced the words past a quickly growing lump of emotion. "I'm the one who's sorry. I am so sorry about everything you've been through; all the pain you've suffered. I don't know what to say."
Hudson shook her head, her chest heaving with labored breaths. "You deserve so much more. I'm not your responsibility."
Everything she'd been through crashed around inside of him. This was too much to take in, and way too much for one poor girl to have lived on her own. "You are the strongest person I have ever met in my life, Hudson Caldwell. Do you hear me? You are amazing, and smart, and funny, and you deserve so much more than the hand you've been dealt," he said softly. "And you're not alone. You'll never have to feel alone again. I'm here for you. And I'll make sure you get the help you need. No matter what."
Drops of moisture clung to her lower lashes until tears spilled down her scraped cheeks. Hudson shifted and then winced. She broke eye contact. "You don't owe us anything."
Myles blinked in surprise. Was she was aware of Annie? Did that mean she was she aware of The Shepherd, too? He wanted to know, he needed to know, but now was not the time to ask. Not until he knew it was safe. The girl before him looked so small and lost lying in the hospital bed, restraints holding her firmly in place. He wanted to hug her; he wanted to promise everything would be okay. But he didn't know if it would be. And more than anything, he didn't want to overstep his bounds.
"I do owe you." He smiled, and squeezed her hand. "I like you, Hudson. I like you a lot. And I'll make sure you get everything you need. Your doctor's on her way back and she's coming straight to the hospital to see you. She's helped you before and she'll help you again. She'll see that you get through this. Jonathon said she's an expert in childhood abuse."
Hudson wrinkled her brows. "Childhood abuse?"
Her wounded look triggered the desire to pull her into his arms. But he couldn't. Not yet. Not until she was ready. "Yes," Myles said with a nod. "Jonathon said you've been seeing her ever since you moved to Chicago."
"Jonathon?" She repeated the name slowly and shook her head. There was a tiny crack in her voice. "I don't understand."
Her hand trembled in his, her fingertips tapping lightly against the starched, white polyester sheets.
"Hudson?" he said, panic rising in his voice. "Is everything all right? Do you need me to call a nurse?"
Hudson closed her eyes. When her lids fluttered open again, he could tell something had changed.
"What do you think you're doin'?" she demanded, her voice raising with each word. "Get the fuck outta here!"
"Annie?" he asked, startled.
"You heard me! Get out of here. We don't need you."
"But I only wanted to—"
"Hudson doesn't remember the abuse! She's blocked it. That's what I'm here for, you stupid son of a bitch."
Annie sat up straightener, her hands curling into tight fists. Myles stared at her in shock.
"I said get the fuck out of here! Nurse!" she screamed. "Nurse!"
Annie heaved herself forward, thrashing back and forth against the restraints. Myles jumped from his chair as a group of nurses raced into the room.
"It's about damn time!" Annie yelled. "What the fuck were you doin' out there, eatin' cookies? You havin' a party while I'm locked in here like your prisoner? Get him outta here!"
"I'm sorry, sir," a young woman said. She turned to him as the others gathered around Hudson's bed. "We're going to need you to leave now."
"Wait," he said, shrugging her hand from his arm. "What are you going to do to her?"
"We're going to give Ms Caldwell some medicine through her IV. It should help calm her down. Hopefully, she'll fall asleep."
"Can I come back later? After she's sleeping?"
The nurse eyed him suspiciously, her short, blonde-streaked hair falling in frizzy waves past her chin. "I'll have to speak with the doctor about that. You're not family. You're a cop. I'm not sure he'll want you to see her. Not if this is what's going to happen," she added, looking back at the bed.
Myles glanced at Hudson as a nurse pushed a syringe full of medicine into her intravenous line. She stared at him until her vibrant green irises floated upward, disappearing into her head.
"I just—" His voice broke off as he watched the commotion dwindle around him. "I just want to be with her."
"Now's not a good time," the nurse said. Taking his elbow, she guided him toward the sliding glass door.
Frank lurked outside, his dark eyes wide with alarm. "What happened?" he asked as Myles stepped into the hallway.
The two men stood in front of the glass wall, watching the petite figure in the bed. Her body convulsed as she tried to fight off the effects of medication.
"She's really sick," Myles whispered, his gaze fixed on Hudson.
"I know." Frank clapped a reassuring hand to his back. "But it's nothing you can't handle. That is, if you want to."
Myles nodded, but said nothing. And just as one of the nurses began to pull a thick curtain in front of the glass, the sun peeked out from around the clouds, filling the room with light.