Camila grasps the wheel tightly at '10' and '2', her jaw clenched. She stares forward with such focus, I don't think she realizes I'm gazing at her. Trees pass us by as we make our way down the road.
"Where are we going?" I ask the fiery brunette, bending my head to try to get a glimpse at her face. As her hair drapes like a curtain blocking her facial features, I can't tell if she angry or very focused.
"No idea," Camila growls, and she shakes her head. "I have to wait for Austin to call me."
"Why?" I question, leaning against the seat.
"Reasons I'd rather not tell you." Camila sneers, making a sharp turn to the right. My body swerves along with the car, and I grip onto my seatbelt. Camila steps on the brake, drifting into a different lane and spinning parallel next to a long, cement bridge.
"Jeez," I mumble as Camila pulls off her seatbelt angrily. "Are you trying to kill us?"
"I think you're trying to kill yourself," Camila mutters, gazing at me for the first time in about an hour. "Following me. Lauren,—" there she goes again, using my actual name. I'm so used to her calling me 'Lo' or 'Baby', but never 'Lauren'. "— this is basically a suicide mission."
"I want to be here, Camila," I say, and I notice her eyebrows crinkle along with her nose and lips mold into a grimace. I realize that she hates that I don't use her nickname anymore. When we dated, I called her 'Camz' far more often than 'Camila'.
"You don't understand how much you miss someone when they aren't around for a while. I want to be here, with you, even if that means death for both of us. You mean so much to me, and even though you went away— my affection never did." I confess, staring Camila steadily in the eye.
Something seems to change in her eyes, I can see the gears clicking into place and morphing into something new. She opens her mouth to say something but quickly shuts it and slips out of the car without a word. I scramble to get out of the vehicle and to my feet, closing the door behind me and following Camila.
Camila climbs up the cement bridge, the wind whipping through her hair as she scales the stone. I slowly, but steadily, keep a good pace behind her, making sure not to slip. She reaches the top, sitting down and letting her feet dangle off the side above a decent sized lake.
I sit down beside her, glancing around. Dead trees are randomly planted everywhere, as well as some bushes. Leafs scatter the cement sidewalk, making the whole area seem much more colorful than it actually is. The water below us is black and churning as if it's in a blender. I see no bubbles and no splashing fish, and I begin to wonder if it's even water.
"I've spent a lot of time here." Camila says suddenly, her voice cracking as she hasn't spoke for a while.
"Why?" I ask, surprised by her soft tone.
Camila just shrugs, but I can see the amusement glint in her eyes as she smiles softly. Pulling on her scarf, she shifts her body slightly closer to mine. "I can see our middle school from here. It gave me hope."
"What do you mean 'hope'?" I cock an eyebrow, staring at Camila's perfect facial features.
The wind dies down, gently blowing against our skin. Leafs skid across the ground, the wind pushing them away. The sun is covered by clouds, creating a grayish hue in the air around us. Camila sighs slowly, turning her head to look at me. Our eyes connect— chocolate meets emerald— and her smile fades.
"I would hope that I'd see you again one day." Camila shares, her smile returning momentarily but disappearing almost as quickly. "You think it was hard. At least you knew, or thought because it isn't true, I was dead. I still knew you were alive, well, I hoped you were alive."
I tilt my head as she speaks, her voice low as the wind picks up once again. Camila slowly slides her hand onto mine, pulling our hands towards her.
"But I didn't know if you were happy," Camila continues, squeezing my hand tightly in her's. "I wasn't sure if you were miserable and alone, or happy and jubilant with someone else. I would have been completely fine knowing you were happy, even if it wasn't with me."
"But, if we are being honest," Camila chuckles softly, rubbing the back of her neck. "I'd rather you be happy with me by your side. And I know, I know, it's selfish, wanting you all to myself, but who wouldn't? I loved you, Lo."
The past-tense in the word 'loved' feels like a bullet through my heart. I swallow thickly, mustering up the ability to talk without my voice cracking and tears slipping down my cheeks.
"So, you didn't hope to make it out of this predicament alive?" I question, shaking off 'loved' and trying to continue our conversation.
"Never once did I wish that." Camila sighs, her breath visible in the air. "I mean, of course I wanted to be alive, but if I didn't have you, there wasn't much to live for anyway. So if you were alive and happy, then I wanted to be alive and happy with you."
Silence passes between us, causing me to become interested in my fingernails. Suddenly, a thought pops into my mind and I can't shake it again.
"Do you love me?" I ask randomly, my voice small and timid.
"Wh—?" Camila starts, but her ringing phone cuts her off. She glares at the blaring device but presses answer and brings it to her ear anyway.
"Where is it?" Camila snaps into the phone, a look of irritation spread across her face. She rolls her eyes and crinkles her nose. "Don't call me 'Princess', because I'm not yours. Just tell me where to go so I can get this over with."
I try not to show Camila that I'm listening to her whole conversation— well, as much of it as I can— by causally gazing at the dead trees surrounding us. Camila is quiet for a while, which makes me worried. But a sharp breath from Camila indicates that she is just as stressed about everything as I am.
"Stop your blabbering, Mahone," Camila sneers, switching arms to hold her phone with. "I don't care what Shawn thinks, just give me the location."
Some more silence.
"Fun." Camila says into the device, hanging up without another word and shoving her phone into her coat pocket. She tightens her scarf by pulling on one side of the fabric and wrapping it around again. She makes her way down the stone, startling me by how quickly she is descending. I climb down after her, dropping my feet to the ground once I reach the bottom.
The dead leafs crunch under my feet, like paper being crumpled into a tight ball. Camila doesn't say anything to me about her 'talk' with Austin, she just steams away to the car. I stay close behind her, sliding into my passenger seat while Camila shuts her door angrily with a loud slam. She starts the car and starts to back out of the lane, when a slight drizzle begins to fall from the sky.
"Our weather is the best, isn't it?" Camila asks sarcastically, breaking the silence between us. She flips on the window wipers when the rain becomes heavier, crashing against our car like stones falling from the sky.
"I like the rain," I share, causing Camila to cast me a quick, but confused, look. When she doesn't reply, I continue to talk. "You don't remember, do you?"
"What are you talking about, Lauren?" Camila questions, her voice slightly on edge, but I'm guessing that has to do with the phone call with Austin.
"The day we first kissed," I say, turning my body, and leaning against the side of the seat so I'm facing Camila. "I remember: I walked you out of school once it had ended. I can recall having a crush on you weeks before that, so I was very nervous. You gave me your address so I could walk you home."
"Oh, don't worry, I remember." Camila smiles slightly, filling my heart with immense joy at the sight of happiness from the brunette. "Once we left school, it started to downpour. I pretended to trip on a curb and you caught me. Your eyes were, and still are, so beautiful, but at that moment, they shone with protection. You brought me up and—."
"We kissed." I finish, smiling faintly at the memory.
"More like you kissed me," Camila chuckles, turning onto a different street. Our window wipers have to work double time, as the rain keeps pouring and pouring. "I was a wreck."
I laugh, pulling my jacket tighter around my body. "So was I. You were my first kiss, did you know that?" I lift my knee so I'm completely lounged back on my seat, my chest rising and falling gently. Camila takes her hand off the wheel and turns down the radio, so just the clatter of rain can be heard.
"I had no idea." Camila responds, glancing out her window then looking back towards the road. "Are you for real? Because I highly doubt that I was your first kiss."
"You were!" I exclaim, chuckling as I do so. "Nobody liked me."
"I did." Camila slides her hand off the wheel, dropping it onto my thigh. "And I still do."
My heart glows with affection, but it quickly turns into hot, boiling anger. Austin and Shawn took her away from me, pronouncing her dead and forcing me to live in utter misery for five whole years. They took away all we had, which was a lot since we started dating in mid-eighth grade until the fatal day she went to that party. Maybe Camila and I would be different now, maybe we'd be married or engaged. But they had to come and ruin everything, taking my love from me before we were even both 16.
"Lo," Camila says suddenly, interrupting my thoughts. I look up at her concerned face, her eyes full of worry. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," I lie, shaking my body trying to forgot my thoughts. "I'm good. But, um, where are we going?"
"Vegas." Camila replies shortly, her tone on edge again. But her angry melts away again, and she pulls into a parking lot. "But I'm hungry. Are you?"
"Definitely." I agree, glancing around. Camila parked us at a restaurant I've never been to. The place looks old and worn down but the sign still gleams it's letters brightly. 'The Best of Lunch' the sign read, the sound of Camila unbuckling her seatbelt fills the air.
"Wait," I say quickly, making Camila stop dead in her tracks. "What if people see you and recognize you?"
"Crap," Camila mutters, slipping off her jacket and scarf. "Here, let's trade." I take her leather jacket and black scarf, handing her my jacket. I slip on her clothes, tying the scarf securely around my neck. She pulls a beanie out from my jacket pocket, something I forgot I had in there, and piles her hair up into a bun. She shoves the beanie on over her bun and smiles with satisfaction.
"Your new name is Walz," I suggest, remembering an old nickname Dinah had for her. I turn my hands over in themselves, trying to think of a last name. "Walz..."
"Jauregui." Camila fills in the last name, smiling slightly. "Walz Jauregui."
"Oh, so you have my last name?" I playfully retort, earning a shy grin from 'Walz'.
"Yes," Camila laughs softly, taking my hand in her own. "I've always wanted your last name."
"I personally think you're perfect last name would be 'Cabello-Jauregui'," I joke, smiling as I do so.
"So do I," Camila replies, making my heart jump. She drags me into the run-down building. "Now let's eat, Wifey."
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A/N: Hello! If you liked this chapter, please star it! Thank you so much and have a great day!
~StrangeBlob