I looked up into the sky, It was early morning and I was watching the sky create a painting of colors as the main attraction raised to the sky.I don’t know why I was up so early, I just can't sleep in unfamiliar houses.
I was back at the monroes and lets just say out of the eight people that live here only three wasn't awkward with me being here,this has been going on for three weeks.Don't get me wrong the others-except Kyle- was happy on me being here its just that whenever I am hanging out with them kyle surfaces and makes the situation awkward,I feel like an outsider here.So why am I still here? I have no clue, I still wasn't in school, I was home almost all day unless someone was skipping class and came to hang out with me.
“Ciara?” I heard a sleepy voice behind me, I just stayed looking at the sky giving a grunt.A pair of arms wrapped around me laying there sleepy head in the crook of my neck. “Why are you out here so early? Why are you even up?”
“I can't sleep in strange places, I've always had the habit of getting up early if this was the case. Now Tyler can you get off me, I don't feel like kyle coming out of no where and trying to crucify me every chance he gets.”
I tried to wiggle out of his arms but he just held on tighter, I really hate that they won't ever listen and just love to piss each other off.
“Im not scared of my brother, Besides I'm leaning on you for support, I'm still sleepy and will fall over if I don't lean on anything. Besides I wouldn't say crucify I'd say trying to put your head on a stake and call you a witch, or a succubus.” He gave and yawn and snuggled in tighter.
“Have you been reading demon type books again, and thanks those examples really help.” I shook my head and finished watching the show that unfolded in front of me.
“Why yes I have, after you made me read the damn book I now wanna immerse myself more into these fascinating things you call stories and the weird thoughts that these so called authors put into them.”
I couldn't contain my laughter, and neither could he.I couldn't believe he just said it like that as if he has never read a book before.Which wouldn't be that hard to believe since there always busy doing something with sports, only michael and me could fangirl over these books, well fan boy in his case.
“We’ll dont you two look cozy.”
My smile and soon my mood turned upside down, I knew it anywhere I go with the others he always got something to say.
Tyler finally let go of me.
“Morning, chocolate chip pancakes are for breakfast,sounds good to you?”Yup, thats tyler acting like nothing just happened, ignoring his brother as usual.
“Sounds good, now why don't you be a good boy and go get ready for school.”
“Do I look like a dog to you?”
“No but if you want a ride-”
“No need to explain, I wish mom would just let me and tyler drive again.”I went back in the house throwing a hissy fit, him still not being able to drive was a touchy subject.
I never turned around when he came outside, I had nothing to say, however he had plently which I was praying he went back into the house with tyler.
“Well good morning to you to.”
“Morning.”Still not turning around, just kept watching as the sky made its way to a bright baby blue.
“Well aren’t you rude, can't look me in my face I see. Why?” I heard footsteps come closer, I wanted him to be going the other way but it wasn’t the case.
I finally turned around. “I dont have a problem looking at you, I just choose not to. I dont know what you're deal is but I was fine, enjoying my self out here by myself.”
“How was you by yourself when tyler was out here.”
“He saw me out here, was concerned as to why I was out here.Now if this interrogation is over, I'm gonna go get some breakfast.” I started to walk past him but he grabbed my arm with great reflexes. He had a tight grip to, and I knew he saw in my face of anger and fright.
“Didn't look like it to me, stay away from him.”
My other hand had balled up, and I looked at him like he was crazy. I dont know what the hell he is tripping on but he’s not gonna treat me like this.
“Let go, now.”I warned.
“Or what?”He leaned his face in closer.
“Jackass let go.” This time I screamed, anger wasn't taking over, I was scared.The way he looked the way said his words.It only reminded me of that time, and I guess he couldnt see that he was actually scaring me. “I said let go.”
I felt my tears start to swell up, I'm okay with people touching me but when its like this my first reaction is to be scared, when its someone touching me out of nowhere I get scared. If I don't touch you first then don't touch me at all.
I cant explain it when tyler did it his voice wasn't threatening it was soft, it shocked me a little but I was fine after a couple of seconds.
“Kyle.” I heard two voices, one belonged to javaughn and the other to Michael. We both looked up, aftrer seeing there now pisseed faces I felt even more scared.
“Let her arm go kyle.” Javaughn was first up, walking towards us. I dont think it mattered to me then but why the hell do they still not have shirts on, even michael. I keep forgetting they have to get into the habit of wearing them since I'm back. I didn't notice tyler because he wore a blanket out here.
He let go and soon it was the stare off of the century, I however was making sure my heart didn't jump out of my chest. It was beating fast, and I felt my hand start to shake, even after a couple months I knew I wouldn't be okay. I knew I would still be afraid, I still get the night terrors as well but I deal with them myself.Im trying to handle eveything myself nowadays.
“Im going to get dressed.” He walked back in with the biggest smirk on his face.
“You okay?” Michael came to my side, he was about to touch my shoulder but I quickly jumped back. “Calm down, I'm not gonna hurt you.”
He was speaking to me like I was a hurt little puppy,it hurt my pride to see him talk to me like.I probably looked pitiful in their eyes, I looked like a scared little girl.
“Ciara.”
“Im fine, you two go back in and get ready for school, Ill be in there soon.”I turned around, they finally fell.Tears.
“Alright.” I heard them leave, I walked away from the doors and over to the pool.I sat down at the edge.What had I become in such a short time, its been close to a year since I've been here and I went to being one of the strongest people, to this person I'm looking at in the pool.
“I dont even recognize myself anymore.”
I shook off my tears got up and went back in, I smelled the pancakes as they sat on the counter.A plate for everyone and no one here to thank for them, I still never see this lady that cleans. Im not sure why but I never see her, I wonder if she has ever seen me.
I sat down at the bar and poured syrup over them, soon than later two parents popped up. “Good morning.”
“Morning ciara.”
In unison and scrambling to get coffee into their systems, not much was said before they eventually had to leave out early.The only thing I that was said that was of any importance was that the boys had to stay home tonight and no going out and I had to be the bearer of bad news.
As the boys came down to finish off their pancakes I put my dishes up, washing mine out I made sure they were all down. Tommy however was steadily clinging on to me, wanting to help me in whatever I was doing.
“You're parent wanted me to tell you all that you're not allowed to go out tonight.”I kept washing my plate over and over as tommy watched from sitting on the counter.After I spilled it there was a bunch of ‘why’s’ and ‘No ways’, Some of them even decided to call or text them.
“Any reason why?” Javaughn asked,
“No clue, I'm just the messenger.”
“So does that mean all of us or are you excluded.” He just had to say something.
“Why would I be excluded?” I asked putting my dish down, we just went through this a half hour ago.
“Lets face it, everyone in this house is stepping on eggshells when it comes to you.Scared to say certain things, or do certain things.But guess what sweet heart Im not.”
I was thrown back and before I had a chance to say anything.
“Kyle,really?” Trevor said,
“What its the truth, since you all won't say anything I will.”
“Say what?”
“You really wanna know?”
“Kyle.” They all yelled.
“Go ahead and say it.” I wasn't thinking about what I was initially saying, I don't think I wanna hear it.
“Fine, just remember you asked for it.” He put his fork and knife down. “Look this is how it is, no one feels comfortable with you around, they can't act like themselves always scared of how you react.Then theres you're meds, you're creepy when you take them.-”
“Thats not my fault, you all know why I take them-”
“Please Im not finished, yes we all know you take them because you're crazy ass has some psychological problems but to be honest thats not our problem thats your’s.Like I said almost a month ago I don't know why you moved back in.”
“So im sorry that I had happen to had gotten rape, and now can't truly act normal because I'm always scared.”
“Again i'm not finished, thanks for bringing that up as well. Thats not our fault either, yeah it happened at our event but we told you countless times not to hang out with him or something bad will happen, but you're stubborn ass wouldn't listen. You kept doing things that obviously screamed bad, now here we all today. Hey pass me the syrup.Now that you know what everyone truly is thinking deep down in their subconscious what will you do.”
That did it , the next set of events I didn't think was possible.Not only did everyone stand there with a beaten face on them, but my anger was quickly taking over.
“Tommy, go up stairs and watch some cartoons, Ill be there in a second.” I gave a smile that shouldn't last long for him to leave.After he was gone, the plate I was holding was no longer in my hands.I had flung it trying to hit kyle,but he quickly dodge it and all you heard was the shatter.
“Feel better?” Kyle asked looking back then at me.
“Is that how you all really feel?” I ignored him, No one said a word. I looked back at kyle. “First that plate should of hit you, lucky you have good reflexes. Second I never said any of this was you all’s problem, I'm dealing with everything on my own, I never asked for help from any of you.Third I did this because I might actually thought I was wanted back here, I thought be around the people who cared about me would help, besides your mother we a big influence.Now I don't know what the hell you're problem is kyle, but speak of yourself if anyone has anything to say tell it to my face.”
I was done with this, I walked out the kitchen. “And clean up the plate.” I yelled, I didn't cry and I wasn't going to. I just need to keep my head up high, if he wants war so be it.
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Yay she's updating again! how did you all like it, I got a good grasph on where this is all going hope you like it! sorry for the way the paragraphs come out I dont know what up with this.