*Luke's POV*
After talking to Avery Friday, I hadn't seen or heard from her since. I know I agreed to give her space but not knowing if she's okay is killing me. Why am I always the one to ruin a great relationship? First it was with Brooke and now Avery. My stupidity always drives the ones I care about away and it seems I'm stuck in the cycle. I keep going in the same damn circles and I'm sick of it.
I can't keep screwing up and expecting my apology to fix everything. I've got to change for the better. Cheating isn't an issue anymore, it seems controlling my temper is. I can't force my help onto someone that doesn't want it. Maybe I shouldn't care so much. If she wants to talk about it then she'll come to me. If not, then I shouldn't worry about it.
It's just that I care about her a lot and I don't want her to be upset or hurt for any reason. She's special and I just want her to be happy but hurting her obviously isn't gonna do that. I promise that when she forgives me, I won't do any shit like that again. I won't force anything upon her, argue with her, or grab her.
I left to go pick her up for school, at least I assumed she was coming today. School is absolute hell without her bright smile and cute giggles.
To my surprise, she was already waiting outside when I pulled up to her house and she approached my car and got in without a word. My heart fell a little because she was being so distant but I wasn't gonna let that stop me from making things right between us.
"Good morning." I smiled.
"Hey." She mumbled.
"Your hair looks nice." I said and meant it. The green color suited her well.
"Thank you."
Remember Luke, you caused this. You've got to do whatever it takes to make her happy again. I told myself. I'm not gonna try too hard because I want to respect her space but I'm not gonna let her disconnect from me completely.
The short drive to school was silent and when we arrived and parked, I got out and went around the car.
"Is it okay if we hold hands?" I asked. I didn't want to do anything to upset her any further. I was making sure to tread lightly today to make sure things went smoothly.
"It's fine." She said quietly and took my hand.
I smiled when she did and we walked to the school building. As usual, I walked her to her locker and stood off to the side as she opened it to exchange her books.
I wanted to say something to lighten the mood but I wasn't sure what to say exactly.
"How was your weekend?" I asked. It was a casual question that could lead to a decent conversation.
"It was fine." She stated.
"Did you do anything?" I felt like I was interrogating her but if she was gonna keep her replies short then I had to ask more.
"I hung out with Brooke Saturday." She replied.
"I'm guessing that's when you dyed your hair."
"That's right." She sounded annoyed but I missed talking to her.
"Anything else?" I asked.
"We shopped, went to a Mexican restaurant to eat, and talked about you." She closed her locker. "That's it."
"What was said about me?" Me being a subject of one of Brooke and Avery's conversations couldn't have been good.
The bell rang, signaling the start of first period. "I've got to get to class." She said and started down the hall.
"I'll talk to you later, then." I called after her.
I headed to my first period with my head hanging low. If I care about her so much, why can't I keep her happy?
-
I quickly left my first period to try to get to Avery's class to walk her to her second.
As I usually do, I waited against the lockers opposite her room door for her to come out. When she did, I went over and put my arm around her. My heart broke when she flinched away from my touch.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Yeah, I'm fine." She nodded.
I could tell she wasn't and that I'm the reason she was upset but I didn't want to press her 'cause that'd only drive her further away.
We arrived to her second period and stood off to the side.
"I'll see you later, okay? And please, feel better. You're not yourself and I know I'm the reason you're not. If you want to talk, I'm here for you, know that." I leaned in and pressed my lips to her forehead for a few seconds before leaving to go to my second class.
I wasn't thinking about what she might think. I didn't care if she found out my true feelings. I just wanted her to be okay and for her to know that I'm here for her, I always will be.
*Avery's POV*
I watched Luke walk down the hall before turning into my own classroom and taking my usual seat in the back.
He thinks I'm upset because he grabbed me a few days ago but that's not what's in the forefront of my mind right now. I'm sad because of how much Brooke cares about him and he cares about Brooke. I'll never have that connection with someone else like they have. I'm in love by myself and I'll always be alone.
Dylan came in and took the seat next to me. "Good morning." He smiled. "Your hair looks nice."
"Hi and thanks." I faked a smile but of course he saw right through it.
"What's wrong? What did Luke do this time?"
"Luke didn't do anything." I assured him. "I just can't get over the things Brooke said about her and Luke. I've admitted to myself that I love him and it looks like she possibly feels the same way."
"I'm sorry." He rubbed my back.
"Don't be, I was a fool." I shook my head.
"How does Luke feel about her?" He asked.
"I don't know." I shrugged. "I just know he cares about her a lot. But even if he doesn't love her, it doesn't mean he loves me."
"Avery!" The teacher snapped.
"Sorry." I mumbled. I didn't even realize class had started.
"We'll talk later." He whispered and turned to listen to what the teacher was saying.
I stared at the front of the room, too lost in my thoughts to pay attention. I took the notes but didn't understand anything she was saying and I was grateful when the bell finally rang.
I collected my things and followed Dylan out of the room, making our way to the cafeteria.
"Is there anything you want to tell me before Luke comes along and takes you away?" He chuckled lightly.
I shook my head. "I'm probably overreacting. I should just do what you said in the beginning and suppress my feelings rather than embrace them. The sooner I do the better."
He nodded and wrapped his arms around me in a hug.
"If you don't mind, I'd like to eat lunch with my girlfriend." I heard Luke say behind me. I knew he was just joking but I couldn't help that my heart fluttered when he called me his girlfriend. I know it's not real but a girl can dream.
I pulled away from Dylan and turned to Luke. "I'll see you later." I said to him over my shoulder and Luke took my hand and lead me into the cafeteria.
He bought us lunch and we went to sit at our usual table.
"Do you mind if we continue our conversation from earlier?" He asked.
"Not at all." I shook my head and popped a few grapes into my mouth.
"What were you and Brooke saying about me?"
"I just asked her to describe how you guys met and what it was like when you two were together, that's all." I shrugged.
"That's it? H-how did she talk about me? Was her tone like reminiscent or did she not care?"
I chuckled. "In my opinion, it sounded like she missed you. Her eyes lit up while she talked about you and she smiled the entire time."
He smiled. "Really?"
"Yep." I nodded. "And another thing, you and I are going on a double date with Brooke and Ash Friday night."
"What? Who's bright idea was that?"
"Brooke's."
"No way, I'm not going anywhere where he'll be all over her." He stated.
"You have to, I already agreed." I said.
"But-"
"It's just an amusement park, we'll have fun together. And if it'll make you happy, I'll try my best to keep Ash away from Brooke so you can be with her."
"Thanks, Avery." He hugged me. "You're such a great friend."
"I know." The word 'friend' stung a little but I'm gonna have to get used to it 'cause that's all I'll ever be to him.
-
I got in Luke's car at the end of the day to head home. This day has been an emotional roller coaster and I couldn't wait to go take a nap.
We soon arrived to my house and I got out.
"See you later." I said, closing the door.
He rolled down the window. "Yeah, see you in an hour." He said.
"What?" I asked to make sure I heard him right.
"I'll be back in an hour, just be ready."
"Ready for what?" Do I really want to hang out with him? Of course I do. Should I want that? No.
"It's a surprise. Will you please be ready by the time I get back?"
I thought about it. I knew it was a bad idea and it wouldn't help me get over him. "Okay." I nodded. I'm such an idiot.
"Great," he smiled, "and make sure you're wearing a bathing suit."
He pulled off before I could say anything else and I walked up my driveway to head inside.
I know it's not gonna do me any good being around him yet I agreed anyways. And where are we going that I'll need a bathing suit? I have one but I'm extremely self cautious. My bruises are gone but I still have scars on my thighs. They're pretty faded but noticeable.
What did I get myself into? If I had just a little willpower or was clever enough to make up a quick lie, I could be staying here and not doing whatever the hell he's planning.
But there's a part of me that's curious and wants to be with him because I love him and no matter how hard I try, I don't think I'll ever stop.
As I continued with my internal battle, I went up to my room to lay out everything. I dug a bikini out of my bottom drawer, praying that it still fit me, and a long coverup to put on over it. I put my hair up into a bun and plugged up my phone before going to the bathroom to take a quick shower and shave. After I got out, I brushed my teeth and headed back to my room to put on the bikini and cover up. I took my hair out of the bun and put it in a braid instead.
Since we were obviously gonna be in water, there was no point in applying makeup but I put on some waterproof eyeliner just so I didn't look so pale and lifeless.
I examined myself in the mirror and grabbed my phone to head back downstairs since Luke was supposed to be back any minute.
The doorbell rang a few minutes later and my heart jumped. I don't know if it was from excitement or nervousness but I quickly shook the feeling and opened the door.
"Hey." He smiled.
"Hi." I looked at the white tank top he was wearing and traveled down to the blue swimming trunks and then the thongs on his feet. "It's nice to see you in something other than black for a change." I chuckled.
"I could say the same to you." He laughed. "You ready?"
"Yep." I nodded and closed and locked the door behind me.
We got into his car and drove off.
"Are you gonna tell me where we're going now?" I asked.
"I don't want to ruin the surprise." He grinned.
"Can I at least get a hint?" I whined.
"Fine. It's a little ways a way and I've never shown it to anyone."
"No one? Not even Brooke?" I asked.
"Nope." He shook his head.
I smiled to myself a little. I kind of liked that he was taking me somewhere that even she hadn't been to with him.
We fell into a comfortable silence with nothing but the radio playing. As he drove, he started humming along to whatever was playing, then singing after a few songs.
His voice was so soft and crisp and I couldn't help but smile as he sang. Hearing him sing makes me happy and he's so good at it. With a bit more hard work, I can see him and the rest of the band opening up for some huge musician and then headlining their own show soon after.
After even more driving, we finally stopped in front of some wooded area.
"Where are we?" I asked as I got out to stretch my legs.
"We're not quite there yet. We've got a bit of walking to do." He came around the car and popped the trunk, taking out a blanket and basket and putting the top down.
"A picnic?" I asked, raising an eyebrow at him.
"Yeah, well, it'd be pretty hard to order a pizza all the way out here and I thought you might be hungry." He chuckled and bit his lip.
I couldn't help but blush and I turned away so he wouldn't notice. "So where to now?" I asked.
"Follow me." He said and began to walk in between a clump of trees.
I followed him and looked around, being a little weary of my surroundings. "So what is this place anyway? How'd you find it?"
"Well, one day I had gotten in a fight with Brooke and I got in my car and started driving. It would've been smart to go home but I knew my mum didn't really like Brooke all that much so if she saw me storm in the house because of our fight, she would've never let me hear the end of it. So anyway I got in my car and drove, not really having a destination in mind. I pulled over to this wooded area and got out to walk around and cool off a bit. After walking for a while, I arrived at this beautiful clearing that, well, you can see for yourself." He pointed up ahead and I jogged around him to see this special place that he's never brought anyone else to.
To say the sight was amazing would've been an understatement. It was breathtakingly beautiful. The sky was a pinkish orange and the lake was a beautiful crisp blue. The surrounding trees didn't seem so scary anymore, but actually added to the serenity of the area.
"What'd ya think?" He asked.
"Wow..." was all I could say.
"I had the same thought when I first saw it too." He chuckled. "I come here sometimes when I need to get away from it all or just to relax."
"It's so beautiful, thank you for bringing me up here." I turned to him and smiled.
"No problem." He smiled. He laid out the blanket and sat the basket on top of it, taking a seat and patting the spot next to him.
I joined him on the blanket and he opened up the basket. "I did my best when it came to packing food. I didn't know what kind of sandwich you liked or if you liked sandwiches at all so I went with pasta 'cause everyone loves pasta." He took a bowl and two forks out. "My mum made it, of course. I also brought some lemonade and a few other snacks and treats for now or later."
"How thoughtful of you." I chuckled and stuck my fork into the bowl and put the pasta in my mouth.
We ate and talked, enjoying each other's company. It felt nice being up here. I didn't know exactly where 'here' was but I liked being away from it all.
"What time do I have to have you home by so your dad doesn't get upset?" He asked as he put the now empty bowl away.
"Actually he's out of town for business. He said he'd be gone for a few days but that can easily turn into three weeks." I replied.
"Great," he smiled, "so I've got plenty of time to show you the best part." He stood up, kicking his thongs off and removed his shirt in one swift motion. I bit my lip and looked away 'cause I didn't want him to notice me staring. "Take that off and follow me."
He started to jog off and I did what he said and ran after him up a hill and we ended up by a big tree.
"I tied this up here the second time I came." He said, pulling a rope from around a branch. "You wanna go first?"
"You can." I took a few steps back.
He did the same and held on to the rope as he ran off the hill and swung, letting go and landing into the water with a huge splash. I peered over the edge and he came from under the water and yelled up to me.
"Your turn!" He laughed.
I chuckled and grabbed the rope and did what he had just done, landing not too far from where he was.
I came up and spat the water out of my mouth, laughing. Only he could make me this happy, only he made me feel free. I don't know what it is about him but all I know is I love him and, even though I know there's no future for us, I don't regret it. I might as well enjoy what I have right now versus what I won't have in the future.
-
After swinging from the rope and swimming for over two hours, we walked back to the blanket and laid across it.
"Want a brownie?" He asked, pulling two individually wrapped brownies out of the basket.
"Definitely." I said, sitting up and tucking my leg under my other one.
I unwrapped it and sunk my teeth into the chocolatey goodness.
"Your mum is truly an amazing cook." I said with my mouth full. I looked at him and noticed him staring at me. "What?"
"W-what happened?" He stuttered.
"What are you-" then it hit me. I was having such a great time that I forgot all about my scars. I looked down to avoid his gaze, being too embarrassed and ashamed.
"Please answer me, Avery." He lifted my chin so we could see eye to eye. "Don't avoid the question or change the subject, just talk to me."
I sighed. "I...sometimes when I'm feeling a bit depressed or I'm hurt I...you know..." my voice drifted off.
"But why? What drives you to hurt yourself like this?"
"M-my dad is so mean to me." I could feel the tears coming on. I knew I probably sounded juvenile but it was the first thing that came into my head. "Ever s-since my mum died, my dad h-has been d-different. He'd drink more a-and he started h-hitting m-me and pushing me around." The tears really began to flow and I was a stuttering mess. "A-and I-I do this to direct the p-pain somewhere e-else." I covered my face and shook my head 'cause I couldn't say anything else. It was too painful to talk about.
He pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me and I cried into his bare chest.
"Don't cry." He whispered in a shaky voice as if he was on the verge of tears as well. "Is this why you'll sometimes have a bruise or not be yourself?"
I nodded, too upset to speak. I couldn't tell him the real reason why I cut the last time 'cause that'd reveal my true feelings. But my father is the reason I started so I didn't tell him a total lie.
We remained in this silent position until it was dark.
"We should probably get going, it's getting late." I said, standing up. I picked up my cover up and put it on and he put his shirt and shoes back on and began packing everything up.
After we gathered everything, we started walking back the way we came.
"Please don't say anything about what I told you. Dylan doesn't even know and I plan to keep it that way." I said as we came closer to the car.
"I won't say anything, promise." He said.
We reached his car, loaded our stuff in, and left. We were silent, listening to the radio. I leaned against the window and watched as we rode passed empty land. The lake was so comforting and I missed it already. I loved the calm vibe it gave off and it was so serene and away from all the shit we were headed back to now.
After the long drive, we arrived back to my house and he parked in my driveway. We got out and he walked me to the door.
"Thanks again for taking me to your special place. I had a lot of fun." I said.
"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." He smiled a little. "I'll see you tomorrow."
He turned to leave and I quickly stopped him. "Wait!"
He turned back around. "Yeah?"
"Could you maybe stay the night?" I looked down and played with my fingers, too afraid to look him in the eye when he rejected me.
"Sure."
I looked up, clearly surprised. "Really?"
"Yeah, just let me get some clothes out of my trunk and I'll be inside in a minute." He said, heading to his car.
Do all guys keep clothes in their trunks? I thought as I unlocked the door and went inside.
I headed up to my room to grab some clothes to take into the bathroom with me so I could shower and wash my hair. I heard the door downstairs open and close.
"Avery?" He called.
"Upstairs, second door on the left!" I yelled back. I heard his heavy feet come up the stairs and he was soon in my room.
"I'm gonna take a shower, I shouldn't be long."
He nodded and went to lay across my bed. I headed to the bathroom to quickly bathe and wash my hair. Once I got out and dried off, I put on the clothes I brought with me and went back to my room.
"Dylan has a toiletry bag under the sink you could use. It's got men body wash, shampoo, and anything else you may need." I said.
"Why would he have stuff like that here?" He asked and he headed to the door.
"He sometimes stays over, but only when my dad's not around." I went over to my vanity and plugged in my hairdryer.
He left and I heard the water being turned on as I began to dry my hair. It took quite a bit of time and I had just finished when he came into my room.
"Mind drying mine?" He chuckled as he ran his fingers through his wet hair.
I got up from my seat. "Hop into my chair." I chuckled.
He did as I instructed and I turned my dryer back on to do his head.
It really meant a lot to me that he was staying with me tonight. We had barely said anything to each other after I had confessed my dark secret to him and I'm okay with that. I don't know how we're really supposed to have a normal conversation anyway because that depressing fact still hung in the air.
"There ya go, all done." I said as I turned off the dryer and unplugged it.
"Thanks." He said, standing up and going over to my bed.
I slowly walked over to it, pulling back the duvet and top sheet. I've never shared a bed with anyone other than Dylan so I was a little nervous, especially since I'd be sharing it with someone I was in love with.
"C'mon, I don't bite." He chuckled and pulled me closer to him, my head laying on the soft t-shirt covering his torso. I inhaled deeply to fill my nostrils with his scent which I have come to like a lot. He reached over and turned out the light so I was staring into nothingness. I was tired before but couldn't seem to fall asleep now.
As time crept by, there were no sounds other than our breathing and the crickets chirping outside.
"Luke?" I asked.
"Yeah?" At least he was still awake.
"I can't sleep, could you maybe sing to me?" His voice is so calming and I thought it'd do the trick.
"Of course." I could tell he was smiling and he began to softly sing some song I didn't know.
His smooth voice calmed me down and I began to feel drowsy. He wrapped his arms around me even more and I smiled. No matter how hard I try, I can't stop loving him. He's the light in my dark life and because of him, I cry a little less and smile a little more.
I could tell the song was coming to an end and I finally let sleep overtake me.
*AN: This was kinda long but pretty cute at the same time. In the beginning I didn't know how this was gonna turn out but I think it's good if I do say so myself.
What do you think about this chapter? Are you enjoying the story so far? I hope so.
She finally told Luke what's she's been going through. YAYY!
This isn't over yet, there's much more to come.
~Cam