"You really want it hey?" I said.He took me to another tour but this time was an emotional tour.I was sad,happy,angry,then sad again,then happy and I think I was jealous about Kenzie, he had a lot to talk about her.
And I got my answer on how he fell for her in the first place.
"I need it," he said.
"Okay then if a picture of me you want then a picture of me you'll get," I said as I browsed through my photos.
"Send it already," he whined.
"I still have to choose the right one," I said.
"It's not like you have many," he murdered.
"Oh yeah well I have about almost a hundred photos of me saves on my 'me' folder," I gloated.
"Don't ever tell anyone that, okay?" He said.
"I'm not sending it anymore," I said.
"I'm sorry,please take your time, make it count because you don't have any social networks not even one,so I'll be looking at whatever picture you're gonna choose for a long time," he exhaled.
"Okay fine," I browsed through my pictures, if it wasn't for Q I wouldn't have any of these pictures.
She always forces me to take one,put on a lipstick,change clothes and look good.
As much as I didn't want to she had a way to get to me.
After a few minutes of him on his phone and me on mine, I finally came down to the top two.The first one was taken not long ago on my balcony and I looked pretty good and we were going out to watch a movie.
The second one was when Q caught me off guard when we were study a while ago, and I was wearing my glasses so it was the real me,it was perfect and I chose that one.
"Sent," I exhaled.
"Wow,wow,wow! This is the one,you look...complete," he kept looking at me and the picture.
"Don't drool," I said as I tried to hide that unbearable smile forming on your face.
"I am quite actually,thank you," he said as he looked at me.
"No thank you for saving me time to get to know you," I said.
"I hope I didn't freak you out," he said not tearing his eyes away from me.
"A little bit," I laughed.
"I'm sorry," he liked to apologize.
"Make it up to me," I said. Where was I going with this?
"Anything girl,I'm all yours," he gracefully sang the last part.
"Take me home," I said.I was going no where with this, for a moment there he thought I was going to do something, something I wouldn't do.
"I'm a man McCarthy, don't play with my feelings like that and besides you're driving.Rain clouds were starting to gather.
"No stars today," he said as he noticed how I looked at the clouded sky.
"Rain is a blessing," I exhaled.
"Who would want to bless us?" He asked.
"Higher power of course," I said.
"Why is he blessing us?" He asked.
"Maybe he's blessing our decision that we made today," I said.
"Or maybe the young couple that just got married a few hours ago," he said.
"Yours is much better and makes more sense," I said.
"I know," he gloated.
"Let's go before it starts to rain," I said and we switched sides and I started the engine.
I'll miss this car a lot, many memories.From the time I first got in,the time he said I was beautiful and that image of him being on his phone, I will never forget that, that awful feeling you get when you think that maybe something's on your teeth or maybe your armpits stink or maybe you aren't just right.
"I'll miss you driving me around," he exhaled.
"You have to be strong," I said.
"I can't," he whined.
"You'll have to try," I smiled.
"I don't wanna," he pouted his lips.
"You should see your face right now," I laughed.
"I know it won't ever be the same without you," he said.
"You have a way with words don't you?" I asked.
"Indeed," he said.
"Do want to grab a bite somewhere?" He asked.
"Stop trying to buy time I'll still see you tomorrow," I said.
"Fine," he gave up.
"I like the sound of the rain as it hits the ground or whatever surface,it just makes it all okay for a moment," he said after minutes of comfortable silence as it started to pour.
"Makes me fall asleep every time," I said.
"Me too," he smiled.
"Hey, how did you know about my contact lens?" I asked.
"I don't know,saw your eyes very different I guess," he said.
"Thanks for the advice earlier," I said.
"Anytime love," he said.
I'm gonna die from blushing, this boy is so cheesy.
"Whoever's going to be with you is going to be in for a surprise," I exhaled.
"What you see is what you get," he said.
"Not all the time," I exhaled.
"Whatever," he said.
"Do you love gifts?" He suddenly asked.
"Depends on who they come from," I said.
"Will you accept a gift from me?" He asked again.
"Depends on what's inside," I exhaled.
"Oh come on,what if it's something you love?"He asked.
"Then I'll have to take it," I said.
"Great," he smirked.
"I'll give you the largest teddy bear you've ever seen so that you can hold on tight to it and pretend it's me every night," he said.
"Eew I'll have lots and lots of nightmares,please don't do that," I begged.
"No way you'll have sweet dreams about me and you," he winked.
"I think I'm gonna hurl," I said.
"Whatever your loss,I'm gonna do it,the teddy will have your picture now that I have it," he said.
"Promise me that you won't do that," I parked outside my house, it was already eight o'clock and raining cats and dogs.
"On one condition,let's stay here for an hour," he said.
As I looked at him,I wondered why he liked to hang out with me,and then I got it! I have a full house full of my siblings, I have people that I can go to crying,I have a best friend.
And him,he has literally no one,he's alone.Charlie's gone and now I can imagine the pain he's going through. He was right when he said nobody deserves to be alone.
I just wanted to hug him, hold him close and tell him that everything's going to be okay.
I wanted to be his shoulder to cry on but as much as I wanted all these things I needed to stay far away from him as much as possible.
"Make it two hours," I exhaled.
"Yes!" He exclaimed with excitement.
I adjusted my seat as well and started to fiddled with my nails.
Was this a great idea? I don't care as long as he forgets about his problems.
"You did a great thing," he said as he stopped my hands.
"Look at me," he said and I did.
"Thank you," he smiled.
"Don't mention it," I turned away holding my tears.
"So what are we going to talk about?" He asked.
"Anything," I said.
"Anything like what?" He asked.
"I'm sorry about Courtney," I started.
"So you wanna talk about Courtney?" He asked.
"I'm sorry," I apologized.
"No it's okay," he said.
"I'm sure it was hard," I said.
"I still make time to see her daughter," he blurted.
"That's very kind of you," I smiled.
"Every time I see her she looks even more like her mom," he laughed.
"You're still in pain," I said looking at him.
"It's all my fault and I have comed to terms with that," he said.
"No it's not," I said.
"Let's just leave this," he said. Talking about Courtney made him feel uncomfortable.
"I just don't get why you're thinking this way,I mean you go to therapy," I said.
"I said drop the topic!" He raised his voice.
"Okay," I exhaled.
"I'm sorry," he calmed down.
"It's okay," I said.
"No it's not,you're right I'm a psycho," he said.
"No you're not!" I exclaimed.
"Yes I am," he argued.
"Whatever man,but what I see here in front of me is no psycho," I said.
"Thank you," he said.
"Alright," I exhaled.
"Can I have a piece of your cake?" He asked.
"Sure," I said.
"Are you sure?" He asked.
"Knock yourself out," I smiled.
"So," he said.
"So," I exhaled.
"What else to talk about?" He asked.
"No idea," I exhaled.
"Okay how about we share things that we'll miss about each other," he suggested.
"Me first," I exhaled.
"Great," he smirked.
"I'll miss your sense of humour and that whole idea that we're dating," I confessed "Good,good and thank you," he said.
"My turn,I'll miss the sound I make inside every time you blush," he said.
"And what sound is that?" I tried to hide my blush.
"The sound that the cash register makes when money is put in or taken out, the one I'm making right now," he smirked.
"I'm not blushing!" I lied.
"Yes you are," he smiled.
"Whatever dude," I said.
"It's your turn dude," he said.
"I have nothing else to say," I exhaled.
"Ouch,well I'll say it for you," he said.
"Enough with my cake now," he almost ate half of it.
"Oh Alex on top of it all I'll miss you baby, my honey bunny,my remedy,my sugar bun,my cupcake,my pumpkin, my Alex," he imitated a squeaky voice.
"Yeah baby I know I'll miss you too,I'll probably eat night and day,week in and week out,I'll never be the same babe," I imitated a bold deep voice and laughed all the way throughout my words. He joined me later.
"Your voice was really cool," he exhaled.
"Yeah yours too," I said.
He took his phone and just like last time a lot of missed calls from Kenzie,
"She's worried about you," I exhaled.
"You should stop feeling sorry for her," he said.
"I'm not believe me," I said.
"Wanna read her messages?" He asked.
"That's rude,they're for you," I disagreed.
"Suit yourself Ms scaredy pants," he started to read aloud the messages.
"Okay let's start from the bottom,Alex where are you blah blah blah... I'm gonna kill you...I'm sorry baby please come home...Where the hell are you...People are asking for you...You better come home this instance... I'm worried about you...
Please answer my calls... What's going on...Are you with that-" he paused.
"Carry on now," I exhaled. She's really obsessed.
"I'd rather not," he said.
"Is it a curse word?" I asked.
"Yep," he said.
"Then don't say it," I said.
"Okay maybe this was a bad idea," he stopped.
"Why did you get back together after Courtney's death,didn't you suspect her?" I asked.
"I was weak,vulnerable and looking for someone to make me forget about it all, and I regret that moment of weakness," he said.
"Do you? Do you really regret it or you're just saying that so that you could feel good about yourself?" I asked.
"What?" He asked not believing what I'd just said.
"You heard me,I mean you're very familiar about moaning for a loved one,respecting them.You're right when you said you were weak that's what you were finish and clear," I said.
"Excuse me? But who are you to tell me about moaning. Have you ever lost a loved one before? Do you know how it feels? Have you ever gotten tired of losing all the people you love one by one?
Do you even know that people moan in different ways? Who are you to judge?" He asked.
He was furious and hurt.I hit a nerve. What had gotten to me?
"I had no right," I started my apology.
"Yes you didn't," he said.
"I'm so sorry Alex more than the words themselves and I don't know what to say to make you feel better,I was cruel and mean and heartless," I apologized.
He kept quiet and distant.
"Please say something," I begged.
He didn't budge.He closed his eyes to calm himself.
"Talk to me," I said.
"So that you can judge me?" He asked looking me with his teary eyes.
I'm such a b word,I couldn't shut my mouth.
"I'm sorry Alex," I apologized.
He turned away.
"I think two hours have passed by now,goodnight." He stepped out in the rain. Wow
I took a huge sigh and stepped outside.I messed up real bad,I was instantly wet by just stepping outside. He came over to my side, got in and drove off. I looked at the car until it disappeared,I stood there asking myself what just happened.
The moment I realized that I was the cause of this horrible goodbye,tears came streaming down my face,I soon realized that my phone which was inside my purse would be wet and a part of me wanted to just stand there crying and a part of me wanted to get inside. And so I found myself knocking at the door and opening it slowly.
"Oh,you poor thing," Taylor rushed to me.
"Tasha,you're soaking wet," surprisingly Q didn't leave.
Everyone soon came to see me and asked my well being.
I put up a smile and assured them that I was okay then had to sweeten the deal by jumping up and down yelling
'It was fun'. They had to believe me,I'm a wonderful actress and thanks to the rain they didn't see my tears although I'm pretty sure my eyes were red but hey they didn't notice.
They offered many things like food, or maybe a drink and obviously how it went in slow motion with details in which I promised to do tomorrow first thing in the morning.
I told them to not disturb me as I will take a shower and go to bed, in mom's room and that I had a headache and I was tired from dancing and having fun.I had to lie, or else I would burst out crying in front of everyone and that wouldn't be nice.
But I was not lying about the headache.
They agreed and respected my condition.Well done Tasha now you can go cry yourself to sleep.
I had my heels in my hands, got a towel and some toiletries from my room and headed to the bathroom.
I looked in the mirror then hit myself in my aching head a couple of times while whispering 'stupid'.
I got in the shower and as the hot water started to hit me tears came down too. I just stood there for about ten minutes crying.The headache got worse and I quickly covered myself with foam, conditioned my hair,washed off and then raced to the cabin to find some tablets.Luckily I found them,took two of them and then I found myself looking in the mirror again, nothing had changed I was still the stupid girl I was before I got in the shower.
I got dressed into my warm pj's and then tucked myself in my mom's king sized bed and I took a few minutes fixing the pillows so that I could be comfortable.I soon realized that I left my phone in my bedroom and had to get it.
Finally,I was staring at the ceiling,few tears on my eyes, you know the ones that come straight from your eyes to your ears,the tickly ones.
Why was I crying? Was it because I was cruel to Alex or that he kicked me out of his car? Was it because he didn't forgive me? I tried to defend myself but it didn't work, I was cruel finish and clear.
Poor guy,he really made me feel bad about myself, I applaud him,he should be celebrating for making the unbeatable Tasha McCarthy cry,not once but twice in one day.
My tears were now dry,I opened my phone and I quickly turned it off,it was too bright for my sore eyes and the brightness was very low. Okay, so the only way that I can put myself out of this misery is to fall asleep ASAP. I quickly prayed and then closed my eyes. This was some day and I'll never forget it!
~*~
Alex's p.o.v
"Where's everyone?" I asked as I stepped into my house.
I first saw Kenzie on the stairs and I had to roll my eyes,will she ever stop! I then looked around,no one. Great! I was obviously being sarcastic,who would want to be alone with her.
"Where have you been?" Surprisingly she said in a calm voice.
"Woah,I thought you were going to go all nuts on me," I laughed as I sat beside her.
"Are you drunk?" She yelled standing up.Oops spoke too soon.
"Are you my mom?" I asked feeling irritated.
"Alex you never drink," she said.
"Thanks for the reminder now come on sit down," I grabbed her arm.
"Let go of me," she slipped out of my grasp.
"Fine," I stood up,immediately fell down then tried to stand up again and made my way to the kitchen.I found Jeff,my private chef and then smiled.
"Jeff, my man!" I exclaimed.
"Mr Hoffman," he greeted.
"I told you to never call me that, now please hook me up with a fine steak and some strong very strong wine," I said as I opened the fridge looking for some beer.
Didn't find one,why do i never buy beer?, I never new that being drunk was this fun huray!!
"Don't do that Jeff,you were on your way out, remember?" Kenzie came in.
"Uhm," Jeff started.
"You will listen to the one you pays you, right buddy?" I said. "Certainly," he continued.
I turned on my amp and hit maximum volume.
"Dance with me," I said to her and she didn't budge.
"Come on,move girl," I pulled her close to me.
"Let go of me," she slipped out of my grasp again then turned off the music.
"Come on let's get you to bed, Jeff please go home," she pushed me out of the kitchen.
"No," I failed to stop.It's like you want to do something but you can't.
"Kenzie,I think my body's failing me," I laughed as she walked me up the stairs.
"You're drunk!" She yelled.
"I just had a few drinks," I winced as she threw me on my bed.
"Are you hurt?" She opened my shirt.
"Oh Alex,what did you do?" She saw my bruises on my stomach.
"Doesn't hurt," I coughed.
"For now,wait until morning," she rushed out of the room.
I tried to get up but I failed so then I tried to lay on my side and I failed again.
I took the opportunity to check for my phone,no sign of it.
She later came back with a first aid kit and a cup of coffee.
"It's gonna be okay," she shushed me.
"She hurt me," I blurted.
"Who?" She asked.
"She hurt my feelings," I exhaled as I closed my eyes.
"It's going to be okay baby, you have me and I got you," she kissed my forehead.
"Pretty,pretty," I reached out for her hand...