This is completely first-draft and un-proofread and badly written so I'm apologizing beforehand. And it's kinda short lol I'm sorry
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44 - Sunday Night
Luke Waters
For a day, I was too scared to open the envelope that Jim gave back to me in twenty-four hours. It stayed on my bedside table. A lot of other things happened. It turned out that Mom wasn’t kidding about the divorce. She broke it to Cas. I wasn’t sure how she took it. We spent more time together, in my room or out in the garden, with me deposited on the bench and Cas packing snow into large piles that resembled snowmen. I barely even saw Dad, and didn’t want to either, now that I had everything I needed. Mom hired a divorce lawyer. Dad moved out in the weekend – or at least I assume he did because one morning he wasn’t there and Mom was smiling more at breakfast time.
On Sunday, Naomi and Joseph drove up from Boston to Kevin and Grace’s – Harvard closed for winter break so they decided to spend the holiday in Springfield. Leo picked me and Cassidy up and we had Sunday night dinner at their place.
Grace opened the door for us.
“Oh, look at you,” she tutted, grabbing my wheelchair handles and pulling me into the warmth of the wooden-panelled hallway. “How’s the physio and everything going, honey?”
“Fine, sort of,” I said. Behind me, Leo closed the door and said, “Hey, Mom.”
Grace ignored him and went straight for Cassidy, hugging her and helping her take off her bulky green coat. I saw Leo roll his eyes.
“Mom, I said I’m sorry.”
Grace took hold of my wheelchair again. “I made pot roast, Luke.”
“Wow.”
“Mom.”
“What did you do?” I asked Leo. Grace just cleared her throat loudly and didn’t let him reply. Then I was being wheeled into a crowded living room packed with people so he couldn’t answer anyway. It was warm and smelled like Jack Daniels. There were kids all over the floor and one on the couch. Ruth was asleep in a cot by the couch and Angie was curled up around the defeated-looking Christmas tree reading Moby Dick.
“Clearing up is chaos during winter break,” Grace muttered, before announcing my presence. I was deposited somewhere in the middle of everyone and bombarded with questions about my health, which were all tedious to answer but didn’t last too long.
“What about your dad?” Kevin asked a little later. “You know, everything with the pictures –”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “Yeah – I got the pictures, but my parents are – well, they’re getting a divorce.”
A round of gasps made their way around the room but the adults didn’t look too down about it. Joseph said, “Don’t feel terrible about it, kiddo. We all know it’s for the best.”
Cas had disappeared somewhere with the twins, so it was safe to talk about it. “I don’t know how Cassidy’s taking it,” I said. “Like – she seems alright but – I don’t know.”
“Your mom will take care of it, honey,” Naomi said. “Just continue to be normal with her, that’s all she needs.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I know.”
“But have you seen the pictures?” Angie asked from where she was lying on her stomach on the floor.
“No,” I said. “Not yet.”
There was a short silence and I looked around at everyone. “Did you…did you guys know about her? Like, did I ever tell you anything…?”
Naomi and Angie looked at each other. I waited.
“I met her on Skype…” Angie said slowly. “You were talking to Leo, and I was over here for Saturday dinner. Mom and Dad met her too.”
“Very briefly,” Joseph said.
“I talked to her for a bit,” Naomi said, smiling softly at me. “But I think that was before you two were together. You’d just left a few days ago.”
I nodded, taking this in. It was irrational to feel bad that they remembered her and I didn’t, but I felt it anyway.
“She’s really pretty,” Angie added.
“I know,” I said. I puffed out a breath, closed my eyes.
“We’ll look at your pictures tonight,” Leo decided from somewhere behind me.
“No,” I protested. “Leo, I don’t know if I can –”
“You should try,” Grace interjected. “You’ll never know then.”
She was right. I didn’t say anything.
“But first, you need to eat,” she went on. “You look like a skeleton. Everyone to the dining room – dinner’s ready.”
There were murmurs of appreciation and the adults got up to gather their kids and feed them. Angie wheeled me to the dining room. Behind me, she said, “It’s weird to see you in a wheelchair, all strapped up.”
“It’s weird to be in a wheelchair, all strapped up,” I muttered. “I can’t wait to get out of this thing.”
“How much longer?” she asked.
“A while,” I said. “I’m not sure, but I’m nowhere close to recovery right now.”
“Hm.”
She parked me in one place, between her and Leo. Grace had to cut my roast into pieces for me, which led to a lot of sniggering and finger-pointing from the kids. I ate with one hand, listened to the conversation around the table. Joseph was telling everyone about a kid in his undergrad class at Harvard who gave him a scalar answer when he asked for a vector product.
“You’ve applied to Harvard, haven’t you?” Kevin asked me as he reached for the salt. I nodded, swallowing my mouthful of roast.
“Yeah, I have. Fingers crossed, but I’m not expecting anything.”
“It’s a great school,” Joseph said fervently, nodding at me. I grinned. “I know, Joseph.”
Naomi chuckled. “Joseph’s a bit smitten with everything right now. Ivy League and all.”
The conversation veered from college to Angie’s plans. She squirmed and answered everything non-committedly. After everyone was done eating, I was carried up the stairs to Leo’s room by Angie and Leo and deposited on the bed. It felt nice being back there after so long. It felt normal, apart from my taped up limbs, the pain, and Angie’s short hair. I frowned at her.
“Why’d you cut your hair?”
Her hand went up to her red bob self-consciously. “You just noticed?”
“No, but – why?”
She shrugged, flopping down on Leo’s bright pink beanbag. “Wanted a change, that’s all.”
“Huh.”
Leo swiveled around in his desk chair. “Hey, Luke.”
“Yes, Leo.”
“Guess what.”
“What?”
He looked at me and suddenly whipped out a white envelope from nowhere.
“I have the pictures.”
I froze up a bit. Angie looked from Leo to me.
“Leo…”
“Luke,” he said, coming over to the bed. “You need to look at this. Please. It doesn’t matter if you don’t remember, but you need to at least try.”
I stared at the envelope. I took it from his hand, and it shook a little. It was sealed with a small square of Scotch tape and it was pretty thick. I felt the weight of it in my hands. At that moment, she was – Maya was – just a shadow in my mind. I wondered how much longer I could put it off. I wondered what she must have been doing in India, in that moment. She thought I broke up with her. I wanted to fix that, but I wasn’t sure how, I wasn’t sure what I’d do afterwards. She was a ghost, almost like she didn’t even exist. All the proof I needed was in my hands, but I was too scared to open it.
I looked at Leo. He raised his eyebrow.
“Am I staying the night here?” I asked him.
“If you want to.”
“Then I’ll look at it later. But tonight. I promise.”
He nodded.
“Yeah. Okay.”
Angie was staring at me. “Don’t give me that look, Ange,” I said, rolling my eyes. She just shook her head.
“Can I see them?” she asked, stretching her hand out.
“Uh, sure.”
I put the envelope in her hand.
“Careful there,” Leo said. “You never know what you might find.”
I glared at him. “Excuse me.”
He sprawled himself on the floor. “Photograph me like one of your French girls, Luke.”
Angie snorted and choked on her own spit and I threw a pillow on his face.
“I didn’t take nudes of her.”
“Oh my gosh,” Angie said effervescently. She’d opened the envelope and was staring at a picture. “These are so pretty.”
I looked away from her hands. I caught a glimpse of curly hair, a smiling face. My heart started beating faster than it should.
Later, I told myself. Later.
“Oh,” Leo said suddenly. “Oh. Luke, I found this and I’m not sure what it is but if it is what I think it is –”
“What,” I said, cutting him off.
He produced a crumpled slip of paper from his desk drawer. “This,” he said, handing it me.
I looked at it.
“This is a bill from Taco Bell.”
“Other side, moron.”
I flipped it over. There were ten digits scrawled on the paper in OHP marker. I stared at them.
“What’s this?”
“I think it’s her landline,” Leo said. “You were on the phone with me once, memorizing it, and I think I wrote it down but I’m not sure, and that could be it. I don’t know anything about Indian area codes though, so it could be something else too.”
I gave the numbers a long and hard examination. Nothing rang a bell.
“I dunno…I’ll see about it,” I said, stuffing the paper into my pocket. Leo shrugged.
“Anyway, who’s up for a movie?”
Angie looked up from the photographs, blinking.
“I call Shutter Island.”
Leo rolled his eyes. “Bit insensitive, don’t you think?”
I gave him a dirty look. “Thanks. I’m fine with Shutter Island.”
He went over to his DVD player. “Suit yourself.”
They joined me on the bed. I was squished between the two cousins as the movie started, Leo cracking occasionally jokes and Angie poking him across my midriff. I couldn’t focus. I was too aware of the white envelope kept on the nightstand, now open. I was too aware of what was inside it and what it could mean.
I’ll look at it tonight, I told myself. Tonight.
*
Four am.
I was in the Mandrakis’ hallway, with Leo’s cell-phone in my hand. I was shaking. It had taken some effort to get into the wheelchair on my own and slip out of the room without Leo noticing. I could barely breathe.
I left the envelope open.
Her face. Her face was right there, burned behind my eyelids as if I’d never stopped staring at it.
I’d seen only the first picture. She was staring up at me, lights swimming in her eyes, unsmiling. She was right there. I didn’t remember the moment I’d taken the picture, but my head ached. I knew I wouldn’t be able to see the rest on my own. I was afraid that I may not remember. And if I did remember, I was afraid of how I might’ve handled it. So I took Leo’s cell-phone, made up my mind, and there I was, staring at the wooden paneling of the hallway with the Taco Bell bill in my hand.
This could be an order number or a registration number, I told myself as I unlocked his phone. My fingers shook, and I got the password right only on my third try. I was scared that I might’ve been breathing too loud.
I stared at the number.
Zero, zero.
I punched in both zeros.
One, one.
I fumbled with his keypad. One, one.
Two, nine, seven, eight, two, six, four, seven.
I don’t know if it was anxiety that was making my throat choke or my breathing speed up, but it was bad. I wasn’t sure if I could even talk. I hit Dial and pressed the phone to my ear.
Oh, my God.
What do I say? What if she doesn’t pick up?
I don’t know what I was hoping for. I almost didn’t remember what her voice sounded like. Maybe the number wasn’t even her landline.
It was ringing. It sounded different. It was unfamiliar. My palms were sweaty. My stomach was churning.
It kept ringing.
Five times, six times. Ringing.
I was going to hang up.
Then it stopped.
“Hello?”
I couldn’t breathe.
It was her. It was her voice. It was her. Maya. Maya’s voice on the other end, slightly crackly but still the same.
“Hello?”
She sounded impatient.
I opened my mouth. Nothing came out. Maybe it wasn’t her. I tried to formulate words. I couldn’t.
“Yo, anyone there?”
She was angry. If I said it was me, she’d hang up. She thought I broke up with her.
No. I had to say something.
My words were choking on my breathing. I couldn’t say anything.
“Who is it?”
Another voice, a man’s voice.
She spoke again but she sounded far away.
“I dunno, I think it’s a prank. I can just hear breathing.”
“Ma’s calling us for dinner.”
She was going to hang up.
I couldn’t breathe.
“Hello,” I choked out. But there was a click, and then nothing.
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hehehehehehe