Chance's POV
"These are hospital appointment schedules, doctor bills and medical reports..." my eyes flashed in surprise.
"What?" Levi leaned over to eye the paper.
"Erwin Smith, 6th visit." I read one of the prescriptions.
"Painkillers. Patient status, unstable." I read aloud.
"Unstable?" Levi demands.
I flipped the page over to see a doctors note.
"Lung cancer doesn't have any vaccinations or cures, I'm surprised you held up for this long. You have about 25 days for certainty. I suggest we humainly euthanize you." My eyes widened.
"Humainly euthanize? What does that mean?" Levi cocked a brow.
"It means.." I stopped, debating wether or not I should go on.
But catching Levi's state I cracked.
"It means to painlessly kill someone. For example, if someone got bashed in the head and was bleeding to death with no hope, you would humanly euthanize them." I explained cautiously.
"So... So Erwin has lung cancer?" Levi demands, grabbing the documents in disbelief.
"It states he has 25 days for certain, that would explain why he was rushing the extermination plan. He wanted to personally see humanity defeat the titans." I mumbled.
"I'm going to find him." Levi turned around and started walking towards the door.
"Levi wait!" I grabbed his arm.
"What?" He growled.
The look on my face must've displayed utter shock at his attitude because he soon shook his head and sighed.
"I'm sorry Chance, I simply cannot believe what I'm reading. I need to know." He hugged me softly, as if I was something precious.
"I don't blame you." I shook my head lightly.
"But you need to act accordingly. Dashing into Commander Smith's meeting will only result in chaos. You and I both know this am I correct?" I looked up at him.
"You're right." He admits in defeat and relaxed a bit.
"I ask him when he gets back." He decided.
"That's a better idea." I nodded.
He sighed and took another look at the documents before folding it sideways (Farlan style) and into his pocket.
"Let's get back to my room, maybe we can clear our heads a little." I suggested.
"You go ahead. I think I need a little time to myself right now." Levi shook his head.
I nodded understandingly and began walking out the doors.
Levi just stood there, as if he was in a daze.
His face displayed coldness but I could tell he was breaking down internally, after all, the person he trusted the most for more than 3 years was about or disappear from our lives forever.
I couldn't help but feel massive sympathy for what Levi was going through.
I personally would not be hugely affected by the death of Erwin Smith but I know a large amount of others will.
And for that, i couldn't be too nonchalant and selfish about this situation.
I walked down the corridors and back into my room.
I wonder what Levi is thinking about right now.
How long did Commander Smith have lung cancer for?
Levi's POV
I watched as Chance walked away and decided that I would head to the courtyard for some fresh air.
I walked out Erwin's office doors and made my way out to the grassy gardens.
I sat down on a random bench and stared off to the distance, thinking up different ways I could ask Erwin what in the seven hells was going on.
"Corporal!" A voice rang.
I lazily lifted my head to see Petra cheerfully walking towards me.
"Corporal, you look like something is annoying you, would you like to talk?" She asked bubbly.
"It's not something that concerns you." I looked down.
"Well, things always feel better when you talk about them." She smiled.
"I don't want to talk about it." I say crossly, knowing I sounded like an arrogant little brat.
But to be honest, I couldn't care less at the moment.
"Oh well..." she shook her head and sat next to me on the bench.
"Petra, what do you need?" I asked in exasperation.
"I just don't like seeing you in such a depressed state." She whispered softly.
I sighed and realized I was probably being rude to her.
"Listen Petra, it's nothing that concerns you. Everyone has things they don't want to publicly talk about alright?" I state nonchalantly.
Chance's POV
I leaned out the window to view the courtyard.
What I saw realistically made me rub my eyes and take another look.
Levi and Petra were sitting on a bench looking like they were having a conversation.
He said he wanted space...
Why is he talking to Petra then?
No I need to stay calm, I'm going to get nothing out of getting jealous over what could be a simple misunderstanding.
That'll simply damage me and Levi's relationship.
I peered back out the window and gently combed through my hair with my fingers.
Levi's POV
"May I have some space to myself?" I asked/demanded.
"Oh I'm sorry, I just thought everyone felt better expressing themselves." Petra smiled sadly, standing up.
"I'm not a really talkative person in general." I shook my head.
"I'm sorry Corporal. But if you do need to talk about something with me, please don't hesitate to ask." Her eyes bore into mine pleadingly.
I simply nodded and watched her walk off.
I looked into Chance's window I one of the buildings and saw that the drapes covered the view of her room.
Well, I guess I should worry about the cancer forms first.
Erwin will probably die.
This seems so unrealistic to me.
He seemed fine all these months- no years.
And you mean to tell me that he had been developing lung cancer?
I've never even heard him cough before, nor have I seen him in any pale or sickly conditions.
How can he hide it so well?
And Shitty Glasses knew about it too apparently.
How could she not tell us?
Well me?
I feel like I would have the right to know information like this.
I then spotted Erwin walking down the hallway back to his office from one of the windows in the building.
Erwin. You better get ready for what I'm about to demand from you.
I stood up robotically and practically ran inside our headquarters.
I leaned against the wall containing the door to Erwin's office and awaited his arrival.
And, he came shortly.
"Levi? What is of the matter?" He asks, visibly startled.
"I have something very important to talk with you about. In fact, is literally a matter of life and death." I say monotonously.
He raised his eyebrows in confusion.
I took out the documents from my pocket and threw them at Erwin, causing some to scatter on the floor.
His eyes widened drastically and rushed to pick everything up.
When he was done he walked towards me.
"Where did you get these Levi?" He demands furiously.
"I may have gone against the code of conduct here but it's safe to say I have no regrets after seeing them." I shook my head.
"You..." he furrowed his brows in exasperation.
"How can you be mad at me for finding out you have lung cancer? You've been hiding such a fact for a long time, thinking that rushing the expeditions would help you? That maybe after the expeditions you would die as a hero? Foolish. You and your undeniable pride." I fired.
"I never once thought of it that way." He declined.
"You expect me to believe that? Making up such a rash and risky way of defeating titans solely because you knew you didn't have much time left?" I looked at him directly in the eyes.
He looked at me stilly.
"Normally you wouldn't be so nosy." He comments, with a little laugh at the end.
"That girl has really changed you." He continues.
"Do you not care an ounce about your own life? Why didn't you try and get help in the early stages?" I tried to keep my emotions intact.
"To be honest, I always wanted to escape this hellhole of a world. But I had humanity in my hands. I knew I had to finish my duties. So I ordered for the expeditions to be set to place." He responded calmly.
"You're going to die!" I lost it.
"Well, at lease I know you'll going to miss me when I'm gone right? But think of it in this way. All humans are going to die one day, perhaps my death is made early because of all the lives lost under me. Maybe my own life will be enough to satisfy the souls of the dead." He remises.
"Pathetic. Utterly pathetic." I snapped.
"Levi. You need to calm down. You're not in the right state of mind right now." Erwin walks closer.
"How... why... is this happening..." I questioned emotionlessly.
I walked off before saying another word.
He didn't seem affected at all by the fact that he is going to die in less than one month.
Should I tell everyone?
Or should I just keep it to myself.
I feel... lost.
Chance's POV
"Where the hell is Levi right now?" I pulled at my short brown hair.
Out of intuition I rushed out the door to find myself face to face with Levi himself.
"Levi! What happened? Are you alright?" I gently grabbed his shoulders and shook him.
"I'm fine. But... he didn't seem to care at all that he was going to die." He seemed to see past me.
"He seems to have his mind made up." I whisper softly.
I gently took Levi's hand and led him back into my room.
"Are you really okay?" We both sat down on my bed.
"No. not at all." Levi admits.
"But there's no use worrying." He looks up.
I edged closer to him and brought him into a hug.
He didn't accept nor decline my invitation.
He simply was in a frozen state.
I gently put my weight on him and we both collapsed on my bed.
"I don't want you to be sad." I whispered quietly in his ear.
"But I don't know what to do." I admitted.
"What can I do to help you Levi?" I took a fistful of the fabric on his shirt.
"I'm sorry for putting you through this Chance." His face softens by the smallest bit possible.
"Don't be." I shook my head.
"You must be hurting a lot right now." I leaned closer to him.
I softly placed my lips on his, and closed my eyes gently.
He tasted the same.
Bitter.
Sweet.
And with an elegant aroma.
I felt my breath being sucked out of my lungs.
It was as if he was trying with all his might to make it hard for me to breath.
As the kiss gradually became deeper I couldn't keep going.
My lungs were aching for the air I failed to provide.
I didn't want to stop at all.
There was a strong desire burning inside me that told me to keep going.
Our mouths moved in sync with each other as my hands wrapped tightly around his back and hair.
I could feel if breath on the interior of my mouth.
No I couldn't breath.
I broke away, panting, trying to suck in as much air as possible to satisfy my sore, aching lungs.
I looked up at Levi's eyes and saw that they were glassy.
"Are you crying?" I asked softly.
"I don't know anymore." He states.
He then extends his arms so they were at my back and he pulled me closer to him.
He leaned down to my collarbone and licked my delicate skin.
This movement alone was enough to send shivers down my spine.
He then continued to ravish my skin until it turned into a deep crimson, bruised colour.
He moved onto he base of my neck where he wasted no time sinking his canine teeth in.
He did so gently to it wouldn't hurt me as much.
I anchored my fingers in his raven locks and twisted them so they were soon tangled deeply.
He suddenly stopped and looked into my eyes.
"I-I..." he stutters.
He looked confused, angry and traumatized.
He probably doesn't understand or cannot control what's currently happening.
He's actually the most emotional out of all of us but the way he was raised caused him to mask up his feelings.
"I'm here for you." I soothed.
He buried his head in my chest and I could feel his hot breath.
"It's going to be fine."
Timeskip to tomorrow
I awoke in the morning and I was surprised to find Levi still sleeping.
Usually he would be up way earlier than me.
Then a thought struck me.
He might've just fallen asleep.
After all he has insomnia, limiting his average sleeping time to about 3 hours.
*Insomnia means an inability to sleep (restlessness)
And I'll bet he's stressed.
I gently sat up to avoid disturbing his peaceful state.
When I look back at my plans a couple years ago when I was still in the Underground, this was not part of them.
I wish I could build a time machine or something.
I wish Commander Smith can be a little more considerate of Levi and everybody else's feelings.
As I clearly stated before, I do not care if he was to die or to live.
But people like Hange and Levi would.
Speaking of Hange, how could she keep such a secret from us?
I need to ask her.
I got out of bed and softly pulled the thin sheets over Levi's shoulder.
I walked in the bathroom and looked myself in the mirror.
My hair looks like a bird made a nest, pooped and had babies in it.
I grabbed a brush and harshly pulled it through the knots.
"Ow..." tears gathered at the corners of my eyes.
"Cmon.... this is short hair too..." I huffed.
I finally managed to rid my hair of its knots and I washed my face by pelting it with water and soap.
I grabbed my uniform that I left on my dresser and began stripping down.
I slipped on my white shirt, pants and leather boots.
I then put on my leather straps and belt.
Then came the jacket which I slipped on easily.
Surprisingly Levi slept through all the noises I made.
I walked to the door, opened it and closed it quietly behind me.
I stormed in the direction of Hange's office.
As I walked, a tall blonde silhouette came to view.
Commander Smith.
"Shit." I cursed under my breath.
I began to feel a bit anxious.
But I puffed out my chest and continued walking.
As soon as our shoulders passed each other, I felt a weight on mine.
"Do you acquire anything from me Commander Smith?" I looked up stoically.
"I'm begging you." He turned to face me.
"What?" Panic rushed in my body as I saw his sad face.
"Don't tell anyone about my condition." He grabbed my hand.
"Please." His body shook as he spoke.
"But everyone deserves to know." I remained solid.
"I don't want people to be unfocused while fighting titans in the future expeditions, including you and Levi." He countered depressingly.
"Well, I won't be. However, I don't know about how Levi would act." I state.
"See? So please, Cadet Knightwalker. Don't tell anyone." He pleaded.
"Don't call me that." I snapped and took my hand back sharply.
"Please." He begged once more.
"Listen Commander Smith. I promise not to tell anyone alright? However, if you call me that one more time, or say anything about my background, I will definitely break my promise." I smiled nonchalantly.
"That's enough for me." He agreed.
"But...You have to promise me something. I rarely do things for free." I gave a sly smile.
He looked at me suspiciously.
"You have to promise to make things right with Levi. I can't stand to see him like this." I say loudly.
"I don't know what to say." He responds.
"That's not my problem. Make things right or i'm not obligated to keep my mouth shut." I walked off.
I walked once more in the direction of Hange's office.
I slammed open the door.
"SHITTY GLASSES!" I used Levi's signature catchphrase.
"Wha-Oh Chance!" She greeted brightly.
Oh she has no idea what's coming.
"So, I heard that the Commander has lung cancer." I casually walk in.
Hange froze.
"I asked you why he was acting so rash and you simply responded with an "I don't know." Why didn't you da the truth?" I stared into her eyes.
"Erwin specifically instructed me to not tell anyone, especially Levi. If I told you, I know you wouldn't keep your mouth shut." She admitted.
"You are right on that one. But since we are all putting our lives on the line here, I would think you would at lease try and convince the Commander not to be so selfish, he's moving us at a rapid speed, using dumb tactics just because he wants to see the day where titans are eradicated with his own eyes. He increased the chance of failure and used us as pawns. This is more like a game of chess than it is a battle." I narrowed my eyes.
"I- I felt sympathy for Erwin. You don't because you don't like him much do you?" She pointed out.
"Sympathy? More like pity. You're right. I don't like him. At all. But I know a lot of people who idolize him and consider him as their friend. But no matter how you consider it, Commander Smith is doing this mostly for himself. He has no real feeling that his plan would work. All he thought about was to speed up the process and get the results he desperately desired." I closed my eyes.
"Chance. You're admirable." Hange looked at me.
"But I guess having no personal ties to people makes looking at the broader perspective easier." She smiled.
"You're implying that I'm heartless." I state matter-of-factly.
"No-" she started.
"I don't blame you. I think I'm heartless when it comes to some things as well." I spoke up.
"However, when I become attached to someone, I'll never let them go." I smirked.
I walked towards the door.
"I'll try and convince Erwin." Hange spoke frantically.
"You don't need to say something you won't accomplish. I know how much Commander Smith means to you. I'm not going to make you. It seems like I misjudged the situation." I walked out the door.
I can't judge Hange though, I would've done the same, except even more extreme, if Levi was in Erwin's place.
I walked down the dark hallway and opened the door to my room and found Levi getting dressed.
"Where were you?" He asked casually, adjusting the straps on his uniform.
"Places, spaces..." I mumbled.
When did he get his uniform?
He was just wearing casual clothes yesterday.
"I was thinking that we should really get training, we've gotten rusty." He explained, slipping on his brownish-orange jacket.
"Yes we should probably do that." I agreed.
"Then let's go, you're already changed." He looked me up and down.
I suddenly felt self conscious and covered my chest area and stomach.
"Seriously? You're nervous simply because I looked at you?" He snickered.
"Maybe..." I rolled my eyes.
"Anyways, let's go!" I grabbed his hand.
His cheeks tinted the tiniest bit red but quickly reverted back to the original.
"Now who's nervous?" I teased while dragging him out.
He sighed and reluctantly succumbed to my pull.
We jogged outside to the fields in front of the forest.
"Put this on." Levi tossed me the parts of the 3D maneuver gear.
However, just as I was about to put the gear on Hange ran up to us panting heavily.
As if she ran a marathon beforehand.
"Hange? What's wrong?" I tried to calm her down.
Her expression had pain written all over her face.
"Gosh. What's wrong Squad Leader Hange?" I tried again.
"E-Erwin...H-H-He's...Come see him!" She gasped and leaned over, leaning her hands on her thighs.
"What's wrong with Commander Smith?" I asked sternly.
"That paper you saw.. the one that said the most time he has is 25 days... well, that was issued about 20 days ago.." Hange panted heavily and looked even more distressed.
"WHAT?" Levi stomped over and grabbed Squad Leader Hange's uniform collar.
"Erwin.. probably isn't going to make it through the day." Hange stared right into Levi's eyes.
Levi dropped Hange's collar and his arms fell to his sides.
My heart fell along with his arms as well.
God dammit Commander.
Without warning, Levi took off in a fast sprint back to the headquarters.
"Hange, I know you're tired, but it'll be better if you came as well." I grabbed her arm.
"Oh and don't take what I said earlier to personally alright?" I cocked my head with a smile.