*Avery's POV*
I locked the door after Luke left and went back to my spot on the couch. I've been watching television all day and not talking to anyone. I needed to disconnect and think.
Luke's apology was really sweet but I couldn't let it go as easily as he wanted me to. It's not just because I don't want to but I can't. No matter how much I like him touching me, I'll associate it with that one time he grabbed me and I won't be able to do anything about it.
It's all my dad's fault. He's the reason I'm so sensitive to people putting their arm around me. Because of his years of abuse, I don't know if I'll ever get over it. My mind knows the difference between it being a threat or gesture, but apparently my body doesn't.
But I should've gave him what he wanted since I like him, right? I have a pretty good idea of who he is as a person and he's not the type to hurt anyone, physically at least. But his personality has changed a lot too. He's not the narcissistic cheating asshole he used to be. He's this charismatic, funny guy that I can't help but like.
I can't keep thinking about him that way. We have no chance together because he likes someone else and we agreed not to develop feelings for each other. There will never be an us and I need to get that through my head as soon as possible.
After a while of sitting alone and not really paying attention to what was playing on the television, I decided to call Dylan to invite him over.
"Hey." I said after he picked up.
"Hey, Avery, are you okay? You weren't returning my texts and I was worried." He said.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just didn't feel like talking to anyone today but I'm better now."
"That's good."
"Can you come over? I'm bored and lonely."
"Yeah," he chuckled, "I'll be there in ten minutes."
"Great, thanks." And with that I hung up.
I got up and headed to the kitchen to find something to eat. But I still didn't find anything even with the ten minute grace period I had.
"I'm here!" Dylan called as I heard the door open and close. I gave him a copy of my key a while ago so he could come and go as he pleased. I never told my dad, though. If he ever found out, he'd kill me for sure.
"In the kitchen!" I yelled back as I searched through the fridge with low standards in finding something to put in my mouth.
I turned around as he entered the kitchen and hugged him. My heart started beating faster and I pulled away and smiled in hopes he didn't notice the slight panic that was probably evident on my face.
"You don't look sick to me." He commented.
"What?" I asked.
"Luke said you were sick and that was why you weren't at school today."
"That would be his excuse." I mumbled.
"What?" He asked.
"Nothing." I shook my head.
"Tell me, Avery. What are you hiding?" He asked, concern prominent on his face.
I sighed. "Luke and I got into a fight."
"Over what? He didn't hurt you, did he?"
"No of course not." I lied. If I told him he grabbed me he'd forever tell me how wrong I was about Luke but that'd be after he went to beat the shit out of him. "I said some things and he said some things and it upset me so I didn't want to come to school today."
"What was the fight about?" He asked, sitting in a stool along the island.
"I'd rather not talk about it." I said.
He nodded in understanding. "You still seem a bit down but if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. To cheer you up, how about we order some takeout and watch some Disney movies?" He smiled.
I chuckled. He knows me so well. "Sounds great." I nodded.
He took out his phone to order from our usual Chinese place and I went to set up the DVD player and went up to my room to grab the stack of movies and brought them back down.
"You can pick first." I said as I sat them on the coffee table.
He went through a few of them before settling on Beauty and the Beast. He went to go put it in and joined me back on the couch.
We usually cuddle while watching movies together, but because I can't seem to stand the touch of anyone right now, I put my back against the arm of the couch and sat my legs on his lap.
The food arrived when it got to the part where Belle was being showed around the castle and I paused it for him as he got up to go pay.
"Your chicken lo mein." He said and handed me the white carton.
"Thanks." I said and also took the chopsticks he handed me.
We ate while we watched and when the dance came up, he shook my legs.
"My favorite part!" He said excitedly.
"I know." I laughed.
"Sing it with me?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Sure." I chuckled.
"Yay." He smiled. "You first."
"Okay." I ate one more bite before Ms. Pots began to sing and I joined her.
"A tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly."
I let him take the next part.
"Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast."
We finished singing and laughed.
"You're such a kid." I chuckled.
"You're never too old to sing along to Disney movies." He said.
We sat back and watched the rest of the movie in silence.
"You know," he said as he got up to take the disc out, "that song kind of relates to you."
"What song?" I asked.
"Beauty and the Beast. I mean think about it, you and Luke despised each other but when you guys hung out a bit, you became friends and then you were soon telling me that you might have feelings for him." He came back over to choose another movie to watch.
I thought about it and he did have a point. We were barely friends when I started to develop feelings for him. But the difference between my situation and the movie is that the feelings were mutual and there aren't other people involved. There's not gonna be a happy ending for me.
We continued to watch movie after movie until it was extremely late.
"I should probably get going, it's pretty late." He said, standing up.
"Actually, could you maybe stay with me?" I asked. I didn't feel like being alone tonight.
"Sure." He nodded.
We cleaned up our mess and turned out the lights before going up to my room. I was already in comfortable clothing so I didn't need to change and I crawled in my bed. Dylan took off his shirt and undid his jeans and pulled them down his legs, folding them up and sitting them on a chair before crawling in beside me.
He opened up his arms. "Cuddle?" He smiled.
I chuckled and turned off the light, scooting closer to him so he could wrap his arms around me. I could feel my heart start beating faster and I had to tell myself to calm down and that everyone isn't going to hurt me.
"Goodnight, Avery." He said in my ear.
"Goodnight, Dylan."
I was feeling a bit tired before but now I'm wide awake. I tried closing my eyes to let sleep overtake me but nothing happened. I tried everything I could: counting sheep, counting backwards from one hundred, and even imagining math problems because I always get tired in math class but nothing worked.
I turned my head slightly, careful not to disturb Dylan too much, to check the clock on my nightstand for the time. It was nearly three in the morning and I wasn't the least bit drowsy.
"Dylan," I whispered, "are you awake?" I got no response but I didn't want to be awake alone. "Dylan." I said a bit louder, shaking him.
"Huh?" He asked.
"Were you sleeping?" I asked.
"No, of course not. I was just laying here in the dark with my eyes closed."
I rolled my eyes. "I can't sleep." I whined.
"Have you tried counting sheep?" He groaned.
"I've tried everything but I'm still wide awake."
"I guess I am too, then." He took his arms from around me and sat up, bringing me back into his chest. "What's on your mind, babe?"
"I don't really know." I shrugged.
"Turn the light on." He sighed.
I did as he said and looked at him once I was settled in my spot once more.
"You know that I know you better than anyone. I can tell when something's on your mind, I know when you're lying, I even know when you want to talk but don't know what to say. Just start talking, even if it takes all night, I'm here for you."
I nodded. Of course I could talk to him about it. But I feel like a broken record 'cause it's always the same thing.
"Do you want hot chocolate? I want hot chocolate. Let's get hot chocolate." I rushed and got out of bed.
"Avery." He groaned.
"Dylan." I mocked his tone.
"You're dodging." He said as he got out of bed.
"I'm not...I just got a sudden craving for hot chocolate."
My mum would always make us hot chocolate if I was feeling down, no matter what time of year it was. I'd help her make it and we'd sit outside to drink and she'd always make me feel better. No matter the reason I was sad, she always knew how to make me smile.
He went over to the drawer of clothes I kept for him and took out a pair of sweatpants, pulling them on followed by a t-shirt. I left the room and headed down to the kitchen before he could say anything. I took out the milk and cocoa powder and he came into the kitchen. It wasn't until I got the milk into the pot and waited for it to simmer when he finally spoke up.
"I don't know if you know this or not, but I am kind of tired. Will you please just talk to me? I promise you you'll feel better once you get whatever it is off your chest." He said.
"Do you like marshmallows or whipped cream?" I asked, completely ignoring what he said.
"Avery." He tone was stern.
"Marshmallows, how could I forget?" I chuckled and shook my head, going to grab the bag out of the pantry and the whipped cream from the fridge.
"Avery!" He yelled.
"What do you want me to say, Dylan? I can't even sort it out for myself. For some reason I've started liking this guy and I can't get him out of my head no matter what I try. I still like Ashton and I know Luke and I will never be anything real but that doesn't stop my heart from beating a mile a minute when he touches me and I can't help smiling when he's around. It's like he has this spell on me I can't shake off. What's wrong with me?" I took deep breaths to recover from my rant.
He stood there for a few moments, not saying a thing. He wanted to know what was on my mind so badly and now he has nothing to say.
I poured the hot chocolate into two mugs and topped his with marshmallows and mine with whipped cream. I gave him his mug and took a sip of mine.
"Who do you like more?" He asked.
"I don't know." I shrugged. "I've liked Ashton longer but I'm more comfortable around Luke."
"Why is that?"
"I don't know." I shrugged again. "He's opened himself up to me and I've kind of opened up to him which you know I don't usually do at all. He's easy to talk to. I still get nervous around Ashton so does that mean I like him more?"
"Not necessarily. You've just spent more time with Luke so he doesn't make you nervous. If the roles were reversed, you'd be nervous around him too." He said.
I nodded and took another sip. "What wrong with me, Dylan? Why do I feel this way?"
"Do you love him?" He asked.
"What?"
"Do you love him?" He repeated.
I looked down because I didn't know how to answer. How could I love him? We hadn't been together that long. I thought this was some massive second year crush that would go away soon, but love? That can't be.
"I-I don't know." I said. "I don't feel about him the way I feel about you."
"Well of course you wouldn't. I'm your best friend and you love me like a brother. The way you feel about him is romantic."
"I know I like him, no matter how hard I try not to, I like him a lot. But how would I know if it's love?"
"From the way you were talking about him and how you act when he's around, that's what I'm basing it off of. I could be wrong and I'm not trying to force it on you but it's likely that you love him." He said.
This was all so new to me. I've never been in love before, how could I be sure that that's what I'm feeling?
He came over to wrap his arms around me. "You don't have to answer that now, but I'm sure you'll figure it out at some point. It's okay if you feel this way, Avery, you don't have to be afraid of happiness."
I rested my forehead against his chest and closed my eyes. Talking did help, but now I'm more confused than ever.
*AN: This was just a short filler I'm sorry. But hey, at least she's got a clue to what she's feeling, right?! This day is continuing in the next chapter and I hope you're enjoying this so far!
Also, I want to wish zombiekitty17 a happy birthday. I went off my usual updating schedule to give you this so I hope you liked it ;)
~Cam