IMPORTANT: This chapter will deal with the subject of suicide, so read at your own discretion. If you want, send me a message and I would be more than happy to give you a summary of what happens.
THIRTEEN
Reyna was dragging him and Will to a party that night, and he was not looking forward to it at all. Nico felt a little queasy just thinking about it. He made them both breakfast, but he couldn't eat more than a few nibbles on his own piece of toast. He couldn't even drink his coffee, and he was paying the price for it. His eyelids drooped, and he leaned his head on his hand.
"You okay?" Reyna asked from across the island. Nico nodded his head but didn't say anything. A cold hand was pressed up against his forehead, sending a shock to his system.
"Nico, you're burning up." Will's hands stayed on his face for a minute before disappearing. Two small pills were placed in front of him along with a glass of water. "Take these and go back to bed." Will instructed but Nico shook his head, pushing the pills away.
"I'm fine." He took a large bite of his toast to prove his point, but that was a mistake. His stomach churned and he rushed to the bathroom, emptying its contents into the toilet. Will was stood by the doorway.
"You're clearly not. Now take the pills and go to bed. Doctor's orders." Will followed him to the kitchen and saw him drink the water. "Nico, take the medicine." He ordered softly but Nico was still resisting.
"I don't take pills." He insisted.
"Will, it's fine. Nico, just go get some rest and don't worry about us. I'm off, I have a match, but Will will make sure you're looked after." Reyna insisted and went to the bathroom to get changed.
"All they can do is help you, Nico. I don't get why you don't want to feel better." Will wasn't dropping the subject. Nico was tired and miserable and done with the conversation.
"Vaffanculo." He spat, storming out and slamming his door. Reyna came out in her uniform and gave a low whistle.
"What did he say?" Will was confused, but wasn't completely sure he wanted to know.
"I told you to drop it." Reyna put her hands up, backing out of the room. She left shortly after to go to her match. Will pulled out his phone and opened his translation app, but it was useless cause he had no idea how to spell it. He googled Italian swear words next, and he found it. Along with several other phrases he had heard Nico mumble under his breath in the past.
"Nico." Will knocked on the door. "Do you want me to call Winona and let her know you aren't going to work today?"
"I'm perfectly capable of going to work. It's not for two more hours yet, I'll be fine by then." Will scoffed at this.
"You are not going to work today. If you would take the medicine, I might change my mind." Will offered and the door opened.
"The first time I tried to kill myself it was an overdose, so no. I'm not going to take them." Nico was shaking with anger. He just wanted Will to drop the subject, and at Will's silence, he was successful. Will looked like a fish out of water, the way he kept opening his mouth to say something before changing his mind and closing it again. Nico closed the door in his face.
Will was stunned. Sure he knew Nico hadn't always had it easy, but that he would resort to trying to take his own life? Will felt like crying or screaming or punching whoever had hurt Nico. Despite all his anger, Nico was one of the nicest people he knew, he was always looking out for everyone else, but never took care of himself.
"Nico?" Will called out softly, but there was no answer, He expected as much, but he wanted to try anyways.
Nico heard Will, but ignored him. He wasn't supposed to let that slip, ever. The only person who knew was Hazel. Though, he was sure Hazel had probably mentioned it to Frank at some point because that was how relationships worked.
He still didn't want to face Will ever again. He didn't want Will to treat him differently or walk on eggshells around him. He liked being treated like he was normal, and now that was done because he had to go and open his big mouth.
He couldn't tell if the nausea he felt was because of his confession or if it was just actual nausea. Nope. Actual nausea. Nico ran to the bathroom again. Will heard him and came out with a glass of water.
"Look." Will said as he handed Nico the water to get rid of the taste. "I don't care. If you ever need to talk to someone, you can always come to me, but frankly I don't see why this should affect our relationship. We live together, and I really don't want us not speaking again." Will held out his hand in peace.
Nico silently nodded, then grabbed his hand, shaking it. "Thanks."
"So, were you planning on getting any sleep today?" Will asked Nico, and at the shake of his head, he smiled. "Great! Because I just got a video game and seeing as how your sick, I can totally kick your ass at it. You game?"
"Prepare to lose, Solace." Nico retorted. They headed to the living room and Nico wrapped himself up in the blanket, feeling really cold despite his fever and waited as Will set up the console.
Will tossed a controller at Nico's face, which he barely caught and started the game. "Will!" Nico shouted as Will stabbed him. "We are on the same team!"
"Wait, we are?" Will was confused.
"Well seeing as how you have a red band and I have a red band, yes! We are on the same team." Nico muttered something in Italian as he shot a few people.
"Not my fault you were just standing there looking like an easy target." Will defended himself, going around and stabbing whoever he pleased. Nico just kicked him off the couch and Will landed on the floor with a thud. "Oi!"
"Trade weapons with me." Nico demanded, standing in front of Will's character with the gun to his chest. Will dropped the sword and Nico traded. And then stabbed Will.
"Did you actually just kill me? Why didn't you just shoot me?" Will whined. "It sword of seems like you have a problem with me."
"Knives are more personal." Nico shrugged before completing the level, completely ignoring the pun. And that was how Reyna found them when she came home, arguing loudly but harmlessly while they sat in front of the telly, controllers in hand.
- - - - -
"So umm." Will started hesitantly. "I may or may not have brought someone home with me?" A small meow came from the inside of his coat. Reyna paused the game. Will had left to go pick up supper and Nico and Reyna were playing the game.
"Where on earth did you find a cat?" Nico asked, but not at all surprised that she had done this.
"Well, you see, it's actually a funny story." Will avoided his question.
"You can't keep it. No pets in the building." Nico said, but the kitten popped its head out from Will's jacket, and combined with the look on Will's face, his resolve melted away and he sighed. "Fine, but I am not going anywhere near the litter box, and it is not my responsibility."
"You hear that Nyx?" Will said to the cat. "He said you can stay!"
"You look like an idiot." Nico deadpanned, rolling his eyes. "And what sort of name is Nyx?"
"I happen to like Greek mythology, and seeing as how she is a black cat, I figured naming her after the goddess of the night was appropriate."
"So how did you find Nyx?" Reyna asked. "Did you find her in the streets?"
"Umm not exactly? The Kebap place is right by the rescue center, and she was in one of the window cubicle things and I just couldn't say no to that face. I told myself I was just going to go in and pet her and then I sorta accidentally adopted her somehow?"
"What are you going to do with her while we are at school?" Nico asked, trying to be practical about the situation.
"Cats are a lot different that dogs. They can be on their own for days as long as they have food and water, and this guy won't be alone for more than a few hours at a time. If needed, I can always stop by quickly on my breaks." Will unzipped his jacket and Nyx meowed loudly, wanting to jump down but Will grabbed her and placed her on the ground gently. "She can stay in the kitchen at night, I'll grab some blankets to make her a bed."
Will left to go do that and Reyna got down on the floor to play with her, using her braid as a toy. Nyx got bored after a few minutes and walked over to Nico, rubbing up against his leg. She tried to jump up onto the couch, but it was too tall. Reyna came and picked her up, setting her on Nico's lap.
"I don't want it." Nico mumbled as Nyx did a few circles on his lap and lay down, purring softly. Will came back and laughed.
"Looks like she loves you." Nico grumbled and looked displeased, but in reality he didn't mind it too much. Before he could protest, Will had his phone out and took a picture of him with Nyx.
The only problem was that his bladder was going to burst and he couldn't move, because he didn't want to wake the kitten up. "Will, I need help."
"With what?"
"I have feline paralysis." Nico stated, and Reyna came and picked her up, holding Nyx close to her body, cradling her. "Thanks." When he came back, she was wide awake again, playing with Reyna and Will on the floor. Nico stepped over them to lay on the couch with the blanket, not really having the energy to do much else.
"How are you feline?" Will asked, and Reyna laughed.
"I'm feeling just fine." Nico grumbled, not laughing at Will's attempt at a joke. "What time are you two leaving for the party?" Nico asked them, glad that he now had a valid reason to stay home from it.
"I'm not sure I should go," Will piped up as Nyx crawled onto his back "but you go on ahead."
"Alright, I'm going to go get ready. I hope you feel better soon, Nico." Reyna said, grabbing her bag and heading into the bathroom to get changed. Nico closed his eyes, willing his nausea to go away.
"Have you talked to Hazel yet?" Will asked Nico. Nico didn't reply right away, face scrunched up in pain, but it passed shortly after.
"I don't know why you care so much." Nico retorted, pulling the blanket tighter around him.
"She's your family, Nico. You can't just ignore her forever." Will got up and brought Nyx into the kitchen. When he came back, he was kittenless but had two cups of hot chocolate.
Nico took the offered mug and sipped. "Grazie." He mumbled. Reyna came out of the bathroom, and Nico laughed at Will's wide eyes. "She may be a complete tomboy and is totally capable of kicking your ass, but she cleans up nice."
"That's for sure." Will laughed.
"Make good choices!" Nico called out and Reyna flipped him off, heading out of the apartment. They sat quietly sipping their hot chocolates.
"Tell me about your sister." Will suggested softly. When Nico didn't say anything for several minutes, Will was about to change the subject but Nico took a deep breath and spoke. His voice quiet.
"The drawing you saw me working on a while ago was of her. Her English wasn't great because she was older than me when we moved to the States, and she never really picked it up. She was incredibly passionate person, and was incredibly smart even though she never did well in school.
Europe is full of tiny houses. Everything is built up, not out. Our house had two bedrooms and a kitchen. Every night there was this song she would sing to me when she put me to bed. Her voice reminded me of honey."
"You're voice sounds like that too. You should really sing more often."
"Ah yes, according to you I have a voice nice. Well, according to drunk you. Anyways, she had turned thirteen shortly after we moved to the States, and she started skipping class and dating older guys. As soon as she graduated, she moved in with one of them. She would call me, but she would never let me come see her."
Will was hesitant, but decided to just go for it. "How did she die?" He asked softly, hoping Nico wouldn't close himself off again.
"The day I turned twenty one, my dad kicked me out. Said I was man enough to fend for myself. I went to Bianca's to see if I could crash there until I found my own place. I was walking over and I heard a gunshot, I wasn't too concerned about her because she lived in a rough spot but she knew how to take care of herself." Nico had to stop, his voice cracking with emotion. He wiped a tear away, but continued. "There was no answer so I just let myself in to wait until she got back. I knew the guy she was living with was out of town. When I opened the door-" His hands were shaking.
"Hey, it's fine." Will grabbed Nico and pulled him close, one arm wrapped around his torso and the other hand running gently through his hair.
"Sorry, I've never really told anyone what happened. Hazel doesn't know much other than that the police had ruled it as a suicide." He took a minute, letting Will's closeness calm down enough to speak. "I found her body in the bedroom." Nico's entire body was shaking at this point, and Will just held him tighter. "There was so much blood Will." He whispered. "Her face was so destroyed, but I knew it was her. I don't remember much after that, but I must have called an ambulance because they arrived, but all they could do was take her away. I was questioned, but the autopsy had ruled it a suicide. Whenever I close my eyes, I still see her body."
There weren't any words Will could say to make him feel better, to comfort him. So he didn't and let his presence, his touch, say everything he couldn't. It took a long time for Nico to stop shaking, but eventually his rapid, ragged breaths slowed and deepened, as he fell asleep.
Will knew they couldn't stay like that forever. Reyna would be back soon, and she needed somewhere to sleep. But he wished they could. He stayed like that for as long as he dared before gently shifting them so he was sitting up, Nico still in his lap. Nico must have been completely drained, and he was sure the sickness helped with that, because he didn't even stir. Will stood and carried him to his bed, making sure he was covered before turning out the light and shutting the door. "Goodnight, Nico." He whispered into the darkness.
(A/N So that happened. This was one of those chapters where if anyone saw my search history they would be very concerned I was a murderer or suicidal. #writerproblems. The song at the top is the song Bianca would always sing to Nico, and the picture is of Nyx. Who is completely adorable, and if I ever get a black cat I am totally going to name it that. I'm hoping I managed to portray Nico's sadness sufficiently, but idk. It was a hard section to write as my own sister attempted suicide last year and so memories. If any of you ever need to talk to someone, I am always here for you so please send me a message. Suicide is never the answer, and I care about all of you.)