Well, I haven't been updating because I haven't had the time neither the inspiration.
And as you see in the title, it will be an angst. Normally I don't write angsty things because I hate to make my readers feel sad, but...
I hate my life right now, so I decided to write something that made me express my emotions and also to relieve my stress. I just really want to forget everything for a second or forever....
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Normal Pov.
You were walking in silence, looking at your own feet as the sound of your earphones filled your ears. Walking down the aisles of Iwatobi High School. You sighed looking ahead of you. Again you saw him with her.
Your crush, 3rd year Nanase Haruka, and your "friend", 1st year Matsuoka Gou.
You bit your bottom lip as you passed by them, ignoring their laughs. Makoto looked at you sadly, he knew everything about how you felt and your feelings. He followed you and hugged you from behind. "Don't worry! Everything will be fine, just don't give up! I'm sure you can still conquer him...!" He said, smiling tenderly at you.
"Makoto, please... We both know that isn't what's going to happen... It's so obvious that I'm not enough, I don't plan on making any more efforts when I know it isn't going to happen." You said, getting away from him and walking to the room, as the laughter of Gou and Haru filled your ears.
You walked to the seat at the farthest corner and sat down, burying your head in your arms, trying your best not to cry. You put your music at top volume and forgot about the world. You bit your bottom lip, trying to suppress a sob that wanted to get out of your lips so hard. And without your consent...
Your tears and voice betrayed you as your sobs interrupted the class and your tears streamed down your pretty face.
Everyone looked at you surprised, Makoto stood up quickly and hugged you tightly. You buried your face in his chest as you hugged him back, your sobs getting even louder at every moment.
The teacher walked up to you and Makoto. "Is (First Name), alright?" She asked Makoto, concern present in her voice. He nodded but asked her to let you two out. She agreed nonchalantly, he took you in his strong arms and leaved the classroom while you were crying your heart out. He walked with you in his arms until he arrived at your house, your parents were always working so you had the house for yourself. He laid you on your bed and kissed your forehead. "(First Name), you can't stay suffering like this... It hurts me seeing you like this..." Makoto said, caressing your tear-stained cheek. You could only sob in response, it was too painful for you to handle.
You threw yourself into Makoto and kept crying, until you fell asleep. And just like that, you began thinking that sleep was what you needed. Maybe sleeping was the only way to forget him. While you were sleeping you didn't have to worry about anything.
And so like that, you decided that you will put an end to everything, and sleep. Forever.
When you woke up the first thing you saw was Makoto's sleeping face. You sighed, your heart breaking at the sight of him. He was your best friend, the one who was always at your side, the one who wiped your every tear when you cried because of love, the one who always made you smile... But still, you couldn't seem to think of the pain you'd cause him. You stood up quietly, walking ti the bathroom and closing the door silently, locking it later.
You opened the box and found the sleeping pills. «This is it» You thought, «I can finally be free and happy...» taking all the pills in your hand, you counted to ten and swallowed them up in one gulp. Soon the effect were getting notorious as you felt yourself become light-headed.
And just like that, you fell asleep in a deep sleep...
Which you'll never wake up.
Makoto's Pov.
I woke up and didn't saw (First Name)'s sleeping face, I thought she was in the bathroom so I shrugged it off... But she was taking a lot of time. Nervousness creeped in me and my heart began pounding harder and fasted.
Something's not right.
I began to pound the bathroom door. "(FIRST NAME)!!!! OPEN THE DOOR!!!!!" I screamed, but she didn't answer. I used all my force, but took down the door and what I saw made me fall to my knees and sob.
(First Name)... My (First Name)... She was in the floor, her once (Skin Color) skin was now pale, her bright (Eye Color) eyes were closed, her breathing was slow and paused... "Why? Why dis you this?!" I screamed at her, hoping she'd wake up and smiled like she always did.
But she didn't...
It took me a lot of time but I carried her in my arms and ran to the nearest hospital, lucky for me she lived near a hospital. "Help please!" I cried out. Soon some nurses laid (First Name) on a bed and took her away, a doctor and a nurse were stopping me from coming to see her.
I still couldn't help but wonder... If she loved me... Would we be happy?
Normal Pov.
Days passed on... Time kept on running, but for you it had only been a few minutes... You were walking down a dark path, it was a bit cold. But you sensed warmth near. It was like an embrace, like someone was holding you. You couldn't help but wonder... Would they miss me..? Will they be happy? Depressing thoughts ran through your mind back and forth, making it harder to follow the warmth...
You shook your head and continued your path to the warmth, maybe it was just you, but the warmth reminded you of Makoto.
He was always there for you, smiling and laughing for you.
But then you thought about Haru, the blue-eyed swimmer that had your heart in his hands and completely destroyed it. And your "friend", she knew how you felt about Haru, but still she came and told you 'I love him too'. What kind of friend is she?
You kept on walking, seeking the warmth... It became warmer and warmer with every step you took, and soon enough you began to hear a sweet soothing voice.
I... I d-don't know if you're listening but.... Please... Please wake up... I-I-I... I can't handle it... Please, (First Name)... Just wake up...
«Makoto...
I'm sorry...
I didn't mean to make you feel sad...
Please, forgive me...
But I can't go back, knowing he's with her...
Take care of yourself...
I love you...»
You thought as you sat down in the dark void... Your sobs echoing and the cold seeming to become stronger.
Haru's Pov.
I walked in to the hospital with Gou at my side, I was really worried, as well as Gou. When the teacher told us what (First Name) did, we were all surprised. Makoto hasn't been coming to class either, so I hope he's here.
When we entered the room the first thing I see is (First Name) laying motionless in the bed. Her heart rate was slow, but constant. Then I saw Makoto, he was a mess. Blood-shot eyes, messy hair, tear-stained cheeks.
He looked up and I thought he was going to hug me, but instead he punched me.
I hisses in pain and Gou screamed at him. Makoto just shot a dead glare towards us, that shut her up. "It is all your fault..." He whispered, "IT IS YOUR FALUT SHE IS HERE LIKE THIS!!!" He cried out loud, glaring dagger at us.
"What are you talking about Makoto?" I asked as I put my hand in my left cheek where he punched.
"She loved you, she really did... But you ignored her always... And Gou knew of her love for you, but the little girl couldn't contain herself and took you away from (First Name). Well I hope you're happy..." He spat, tears at the corner of his eyes.
I tried to reach out and take (First Name)'s hand, but Makoto slapped my hand away. "Do not touch her." He said.
"I still don't understand... Why did she do this to herself?" I asked...
And Makoto's next words struck me like a lightning.
"She just wanted to forget you..."
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Yeah, I hope you liked it and everything.
It has been a long time since I last wrote so I may be a little rusty and everything.
Well, see you in the next one.
I love you ❤️