*johns POV
"Hello, John." The woman standing in front of me gave me a simple smile as she held the door open for me. "Please, come in."
I returned the smile as best as I could as the woman led me into her office, a simple little room with two couches and far too many book cases.
"Why don't you take a seat and we can start our session." She smiled easily and gestured towards one of the couched. I perched awkwardly on the edge, almost as if I was ready to bolt at any given moment. The woman, however, sunk comfortably back into the couch across from me.
"Let's start with an introduction, okay?" I nodded.
"I'm Doctor Everest." She prompted. "If it makes you feel more comfortable, you can call me Janet."
I shifted in the couch. "Okay."
Doctor Everest pursued her lips. "John, are you uncomfortable? Do you, perhaps, wish you weren't here? You aren't very talkative today. Your other doctors told me that you could be quite the chatterbox."
"Yeah, when I get going." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "It really isn't a good day for me."
Doctor Everest lowered her eyes. "Today is the christened 'Bad Day', isn't it? The day the plane crashed, and you thought you lost Alex."
I laughed. "Oh, I definitely lost Alex. My Alex was gone after that plane crashed."
"A freak accident that ruined your life." Doctor Everest murmured. "And that's when the anxiety started, yes?"
"And the nightmares, and the visions, and the attempts." I bit my lip. "He was haunting me. I saw him everywhere."
Doctor Everest took a deep breath. "John, do you think we could start from the beginning? I've read your files, of course, but I'd like to hear the story from your point of view."
"Don't you get it?" My eyes clouded with tears as I tried to focus on my lap instead of Janet Everest's kind face. "I don't get to have a point of view, or be part of his story. I'm wiped out of his history."
"John." Doctor Everest chided me. "Don't be overdramatic."
"It's true!" I shouted, whipping my head up to face her. "He controls me! I can't escape him! It's been over ten years and I'm trapped in this living hell. What the fuck am I supposed to do, other than be overdramatic and cry and kill myself!"
Doctor Everest looked unimpressed. "John." She spoke softly and evenly. "Why don't you tell me about when you met Alex."
I huffed. "I told you this on the phone. It was the first day of school-"
"No." She cut me off. "I mean the second time."
It took me a moment to realize what she meant, because I didn't even think of it that way. Meeting Alex the second time. See, the problem is, it wasn't even Alex anymore.
I took a deep breath. "Let me just start off by saying that Alex and I were meant to be together. I'd always thought of it that way. You know, star-crossed lovers or whatever. But after the accident, I moved on. I forced myself to move on, really. I wasn't ready to, but I did. I still dreamt about him, of course. I saw him standing on street corners and in the window of every Starbucks. There were days where I'd stop my car in the middle of the road because I thought I saw him walking into a restaurant."
I wiped a tear away with the back of my hand. "It never once occurred to me that it was real." I shook my head at my own stupidity. "That he was real. I mean, they never found the body, right? Why couldn't he be alive? Alive, but just.....different."
"I don't think I understand." Doctor Everest admitted.
"I didn't either." I whispered. "But I figured it out eventually. At first I just kept walking and pretended I couldn't see him. But one day.... One day, he saw me."
Doctor Everest not so discreetly turned on her tape recorder and pulled out a pen and a thick pad of paper. "Why don't you tell me about it?" She prompted. "The day Alex stopped you on the street?"
"It was July." I whispered. "About six months after the accident. I was taking my sister for a walk in her stroller."
I smiled softly. "I had no clue my life was going to change."
******
We're back in business, baby.
I'll be updating this as much and as quickly as possible because you guys know how much I love and cherish this plot line. Idk these characters just have a special place in my heart.
Btw the entire squad will eventually make an appearance so yay hamlet! Also IK it seems confusing rn but that's because John is lowkey crazy and in a psychiatric hospital but everything will be explained in chapter one.
Love you guys!