Kat
July 4, 2005
*
Next day
*
Ben's hand jerks away from mine. I look up to find his green eyes staring back at me.
His eyes.
His eyes are open!
I need to tell Cole and Nate, but where is my phone? I can't remember where I put it. Did I even have it? I reach for the call button laying near Ben's head, but stop at the sound of his voice.
"Where's Cole?" His voice is strained, I assume from the ventilator.
Wait, where is the ventilator? Did they remove it while I was sleeping? How did I miss that?
How is he speaking at all? Something is pressing on the outskirts of my mind, but I can't remember what it is.
I clear my throat, trying to rid my voice of the overwhelming emotion I'm feeling. "Cole ran home, he'll be back. Do you need something? I can get it for you."
He shakes his head, eying me suspiciously. "Where's Mom?"
"She's on her way from your island." I put my hands on top of his, trying to reassure him, but he pulls away.
My stomach drops, but I need to ask my own questions. "Do you know where you are?"
His eyes bounce around the room. "I'm guessing a hospital."
"Yes, do you know who I am?" My heart squeezes in my chest, already knowing the answer.
"Should I?" His eyes hold no recognition as they look into mine.
Oh god. He doesn't remember me.
"No, I guess not." I lean up trying again to press the call button. I can't handle this on my own.
Ben's eyes widen, as he scoots away from me. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing. I just-" Before I can explain, Ben's shouts cut me off.
"Nurse! Help!" He cups his hands over his mouth, trying to be louder. "Help! Nurse!"
"No, Ben! You can trust me." I hold my hand up in surrender. "Please calm down."
"Stop calling me Ben!" His eyes are wild like a cornered animal.
He's scared of me. This is so much worse than I imagined.
"Kat." Nate's voice bounces around my head without passing through my ears. What is happening?
I think my mind is playing tricks on me, until I hear it again. "Kat. Calm down."
Am I telepathic?
"Kat." Now I hear Cole. Am I going crazy? "Come on Kat, wake up."
I am awake. How do I tell the voices?
"Kat, are you okay?" Ben's looking at me again, but his gaze is softer this time.
Wait, how does he know my name? Does he remember me now? What changed?
He reaches out, grabbing my shoulders, as he gently shakes me. "Come on Kat."
"What?" I don't understand. What does he want?
The light blinds me as I open my eyes. Why were they closed? Ben is laying in front of me, ventilator still in place, his eyes closed.
"Hey, are you okay?" Cole's voice comes from my left. "We heard you... uh... You were... uhm..."
"Crying." Nate finishes for him, from my right.
Reaching up, I can feel the wetness on my face. "Oh."
"Bad dream?" I look over to see Cole's concerned face.
"I guess you could say that." I shrug, not sure what to say. It didn't feel like a dream, it felt so real.
Cole sits next to me, pulling my hand in his. "It's going to be okay, Kat."
I'm sure he's trying to be comforting, but it just reminds me of Ben pulling away from me. Nothing feels okay right now.
"Is it?" I look over at Ben's lifeless body, his cold stare haunting me.
"Yeah, of course." Nate steps closer, resting his hand on my shoulder.
I rush to wipe away the tears as the door clicks open. We all turn at once to find Dr. Young standing in the entry.
"Mr. Alexander." He barely nods at Cole as he walks closer to him.
"Dr. Young, those the final test results?" Cole nods at the folder in his hand.
"Yes, sir." He hands the folder to Cole. Why can't he just tell us? Can he not read?
Cole reads it aloud, like we might understand. "Due to a MVA, the patent suffered a coup injury neurological contusion. As a result of Elevated Intracranial Pressure, he was placed in a barbiturate induced coma. Yada yada yada."
He flips through pages until he finds the one he's looking for. "Ah hah! Here we go. ICP Monitor remained less than 20 mmHg for 8 hours after pentobarbital decreased. Licox reports a stable brain oxygen level at 30 mmHg. EEG has reported no seizures and wave levels are reported above 8 Hz."
"This all sounds good." Cole flips to another page. "Recommendation by Neurointensivist: Continue administering Hypertonic Saline and Levetiracetam, but gradually reduce Pentobarbital. Continued monitoring in the NSICU."
What? Am I the only one that has no idea what is happening? One look at Nate reveals I'm not alone.
"You want to wake him?" Cole pulls out what looks like an xray and holds it up to the light. It looks like a brain. Could it be Ben's brain?
"Hmm... What? Oh, yes." Dr. Young seems a little unsure and I begin to doubt if he is the same neurologist I've heard so much about.
"Do you really think the edema is no longer a concern?" Cole's voice is filled with disbelief. What did the test results mean? Isn't waking him a good thing?
The doctor shrugs. "There's no way to know for sure, but I think it's worth a shot."
"A shot?" Cole's brow furrows, clearly unhappy with the response.
"Mr. Alexander, you know full well that in the medical field there are no certainties. The tests indicate his Intracranial Pressure will hold steady, but we won't know until we try." For the first time, I see Dr. Young in a new light. He's just a guy, trying to do the best he can. Just like all of us.
"What changed since yesterday?" A little part of me wants to believe it was because he sensed my presence last night, but it's probably just a coincidence. Whatever the reason, I'm thankful for the change.
"I honestly can't say. What I can say is he currently has brain activity, but if we wait much longer that might change." That doesn't sound good. I thought the coma was helping him heal, but now it might hurt him?
"Okay. I-" Cole stops, turning at the sound of the door bursting open.
"Oh, my baby!" A middle aged blonde woman rushes to the other side of the bed, kissing Ben's forehead as tears stream down her face.
Cole walks over to her, placing his hand on her back. "Mom."
She turns, sobbing into his chest. "Oh, Cole. I can't believe this happened to me. I won't survive if he doesn't pull through. A mother isn't meant to live without her children."
Cole's face tightens, but he continues to pat her on the back. "I know, Mom. I know. It's going to be okay."
She pulls back to look at him. "You're such a good brother." Placing her hand on his face, finally comforting the scared boy in front of her.
"Thanks, Mom." He kisses her cheek before glancing around the room. "Where's dad?"
"Oh, he had to run to the office real quick. He'll be here when he can, dear." She pats his cheek again.
"Seriously? He couldn't make time for his dying son?" Cole gestures towards Ben, still not looking at him.
"Dying?" Her eyes bulge, as all the color drains from her face. "My baby is dying?"
"No, Mom. He's not dying, but Dad doesn't know that." He runs his hands down his face, his voice exasperated.
"Well, son. You know how he is." She gives her son a sad smile, as she rests her hand on his shoulder.
Cole sighs. "Yeah, I know. I was just hoping this time might be different."
"Me too, dear." She pats his cheek. "Is your brother going to be okay?"
"I don't know. His brain was swelling, but they think they've stopped it. Now they want to wake him up. If they don't he might never wake up, but if they do he could die. I just don't know, Mom."
"They who?" Her brows furrow and it looks like she might be holding her breath.
Cole straightens and speaks clearly, like he's in school, giving a report. "Dr. Young, Neurologist, and Dr. Boldt, Neurointensivist."
"Good choices, Son. You did well. Our little Joey is in good hands." She grabs his hand in hers. It's strange to hear him called anything other than Ben.
Cole blushes, ducking his head. "Thanks, Mom."
His mom looks down her nose at Nate, her disdain is practically another person in the room. "Always a pleasure, Declan. Who's your friend?"
"Oh, she's not my friend." His face turns beat red, as he tries to correct his mistake. "I mean, she is my friend, but she's not here for me. I mean, I called her, but... she's here for Ben?"
"Oh." She turns her attention to me. "And just who are you, dear?"
I clear my throat, as I stand to walk towards her, extending my hand. "Nice to meet you, I'm Kat."
She delicately shakes my hand, but I can see her reluctance. "The one with an animal's name? She's the one I've heard so much about?"
She gives Nate a sideways glance, but Nate stands up to join me. "All due respect ma'am, but Ben wouldn't stand for you talking bad about her."
"Yes, well, I'm sure he'd defend you too and we all know how well that turned out." She gestures with her chin towards Ben.
Well, this should be fun.