Chapter 31
How come when you want something so badly, it never felt like the universe will help you get it? Wasn't that supposed to be the other way around? For me, it felt like everything, everyone conspired for me to be miserable.
"Tama na 'yan, okay?"
I was at the dining room. Hindi ako pumupunta sa shop ko because lately, everything felt so tiring. Parang wala na akong ganang mabuhay.
My Mom suddenly snapped out and looked at me. "That's it. You're going with us later," she said.
I arched my brow. "Where?" sabi ko sabay abot sa coffee ko.
"Fund raiser."
"Mom!"
She shook her head. "No, Alys. I've had enough of your sighs and silence. You're going."
I looked at her with pleading eyes. Ayoko talagang pumunta sa fund raisers. Sure, maganda yung goal nila pero... I hate being sold! The last time I went there was when I was 14 and I was sold for half a million tapos I was forced to spend my time dancing with that jerk face Lourd Sandoval!
"Nope. Not working. Pick out a nice dress. I'll have manong drive you later."
"Pushover," I commented.
"Still not working, Alys. I'll go, okay? See you later, honey."
And so I was left with no choice. Pupunta ako sa fund raising ball even though I hate it... no, I loathe it.
Time passed by and I didn't even notice it. All day, I was staring at my phone, even so blindly hoping that maybe, just maybe, Tripp will have the decency to send me a message. I mean, we're not over, right? We're taking a break, all right, but we're not done. We're not done.
I even passed by his facebook account and I saw that he's posting pictures. Photography has always been his thing. Nung nasa New York kami, he'd bug me to be his model pero ngayon, wala na. Sayang lahat kung mawawala na lang bigla.
A picture grabbed my attention while I was browsing through his albums.
"Kei..." that was all that had left my mouth.
In the picture, she was walking at the airport while looking at her hand phone. The picture looked so innocent yet there's something... there's something that hurt my heart.
Hindi naman pwede, di ba? She'd never betray me. Not like this. Alam na alam niya kung ano ang pinagdaanan namin ni Tripp. Hell she's been there while we're struggling to be together. Ni hindi ko naisip na kahit minsan, she'll betray me. She's the closest thing I have for a sister next to Aya.
My hands were shaking while scanning the album. There were snapshots of her, all stolen. And when everything was all too heavy, I closed my laptop and gave it a rest.
No, she'll never hurt me.
Tumayo ako at naghanda. Mom was right; I've been wallowing in self pity I actually forgot how to live. There's more to life than this mess I'm in. I need a breather. I need to see that my life was actually still worth living, that the people around me were still worth trusting.
I picked out a black dress and a nice shoes to go with it. True to my mother's words, manong fetch me about quarter to seven.
"Nandun na po ba sila mommy?" I asked him.
Manong nodded and concentrated on driving.
While I was busy watching the busy streetlights of Makati streets, my phone beeped. It was a text from Kei that said, "Where you at? Fund raising event. Are you gonna be there?"
I closed and even deleted her message. This was bad. Wala namang ginagawang masama sa akin si Kei yet somewhere within me, I was starting to hate her. Ang hirap sa pakiramdam na yung mismong taong itinuturing mo na best friend, pinagdududahan mo na rin. Where's the sense of living kung yung mismong mga taong dapat pinagkakatiwalaan mo ay pinagdududahan mo?
I need a resolve. Hindi pwede na ganito na lang ng ganito. I'd die early kung puro ganito na lang ang mangyayari sa buhay ko.
Kinuha ko ang phone ko at nagtext kay Kei.
'Yup. See you!'
See you, Kei. And talk to you, as well. I can't keep living like this. All these paranoia will be the death of me.
--
"Mr. Montreal, my daughter, Alys," my Dad said, introducing me to one of his business partners, I think. Ganito na lang palagi tuwing may business functions kaya ayoko na nagpupunta sa ganito. Ang daming tao and they can't seriously expect me to remember every single one of them, right?
The old man smiled at me and introduced me to his daughter. "This is my daughter Nathalia." The girl smiled at me.
"Hi," I said. She hid behind his father and then looked at me. I smiled at her and then waved goodbye as I went to grab a drink.
I was busy sipping my wine when a hand rested on my shoulder. "Thank goodness a familiar soul!"
I turned around and saw Kei breathing heavily. She looked stunning, as per usual. "Hey," I said.
She grabbed a drink and drank it all at once. "Hey!" she said after finishing her glass. "Glad you're here! Goodness, bigla lang akong pinapunta ni mom saying she was supposed to be here but she can't so apparently I'm filling in for her. Ikaw? You're with your family?"
I timidly nodded. "May kasama ka ba?" I asked, silently wishing na hindi siya kasama ni Tripp.
She shook her head. "Nope. Last minute decision. But I'm ecstatic you're here!"
I smiled at her. How did I ever doubt her? She'll never hurt me... intentionally at that.
The event started a bit later after the dinner was served. Each of us were given numbers. Dad said I could spend only a million for tonight. As if naman may bibilin ako sa human bidding.
"N-nakita mo ba si Tripp?"
Kei looked at me and arched her brow. "Are you two fighting?"
Hard as I try to deny it, hindi ko kaya. It was so damn obvious. Hindi na kami magkasama ngayon. Back then, we were inseperable by any human means.
She shook her head. "I saw him last time. You two should talk, you know. Walang sense ang pag iwas sa problem because admit it or not, hindi naman nawawala yun. The problem's still there. You're just prolonging the agony."
Sana nga kasi ganun lang kadali yun. That confronting the demons of your life is easy... but it's not. Problems were there to keep our feet on the ground, to remind us that no matter how perfect our life may seem, somewhere along the way, something will mess up and will burst our pretty, little bubble of perfect life.
"Sana nga..."
She hit my shoulder. "Stop the pity party, Perez! Come on. We both know na parang aso si Tripp dati kung humabol sa'yo. Don't let him turn the situation upside down! You're a wonderful person, okay? Don't let someone let you forget that."
I smiled at her. "I really missed you."
She winked at me. "Same here, same here."
The event formally started.
"For the first auction... it came from the generous family of Sandoval! A 90 year old wine from one of the best wine maker of France. The bidding amount starts from 100 thousand."
And... the playtime of the rich and successful began.
Kei and I were talking about the things we used to do when we were in New York when suddenly, she excused herself. "My mom's calling."
She left abruptly after that and I was left alone, trying to make sense of how come people waste money with these shenanigans?
"Old hag."
"Ethos?"
He rolled his eyes at me. This kid! "Di ba halata?" sabi niya sa akin. God, he really did take after his brother!
I looked around, trying to spot either his mom or dad. "Sino ang kasama mo?" I said, looking at him. He was wearing a tuxedo and his hair was really well done. He looked really dashing!
He sighed and sat on Kei's spot. "Si Mom at Dad. Ikaw, sino ang kasama mo old hag?"
"Old hag?"
He nodded. "Yes, old hag. Pwede mong igoogle kung hindi mo maintindihan."
Oh, God. I was wrong. He's worst than Drake!
"Call me Alys."
"I don't want."
"Ethos!"
"What?"
"Call me Alys."
He stuck his tongue out. "You can't make me."
"I'm telling your dad about your stinky attitude," I warned him.
He cocked his head and smirked at me. He smirked at me, oh my god!
"Okay. Punta ka sa bahay namin."
I shook my head. "No, ngayon ako pupunta. You're a bad kid. Ilang taon ka na ba?"
He raised his hand and showed me his five fingers. "I'm four. And it's been four years since you broke up with kuya. You're a mean, old hag."
Halos mabulunan ako sa sinabi niya. How could a kid like him say so many things?!
After grabbing my share of froyo, he stood up. "Go to our house, okay? I hate you but I hate that other old hag more." And then he left me. What's with that kid? Geez.
Minutes passed and wala pa rin si Kei so I decided to follow her. Baka naman naligaw na yun. This hotel was big and she's new in town... kind of.
I excused myself from my parents and walked out. The night wind was crisp and chilly and everybody seemed preoccupied. No one noticed me walking out the door apart from the one who was responsible for opening the door.
Carefully, I searched the parameter but no one was around. I finished roaming around the lobby and the whole of the first floor but Kei wasn't anywhere in sight. Where could she have been? She won't answer her phone.
As I was passing by the corner, I heard faint murmurs.
"It feels like I'm talking to a dumb person here!"
"Hindi mo sinasagot 'yung tawag ko. What do you expect me to do?"
And that was the exact moment I clutched my hands to my chest.
"Oh god, Tripp! You and me? Not happening! Are you dumb or crazy? Oh, wait, you're both!" cried Kei.
There was an abrupt pause and with that my heart followed as well. The silence was torturing me. All my nightmares felt like being real.
I heard someone kcoking over something. "Kei," he said, his voice strong and firm.
Kei shouted. "Tripp, umayos ka nga! You're with Alys, my best friend! Need I spell it out for you? God, pinapasakit mo ang ulo ko!"
"We're on the rocks."
"I don't care, Tripp Marco Palma. I don't go after my friend's ex. Ikaw at ako? Not now, not ever. So please, get your head out of your ass and start fixing things with Alys. I'm nowhere as good as Alys. Don't be a jerk and straight things out with her. She's a catch and you're an ass. Be thankful she's putting up with all of your shit because if that was me? You'll see yourself in the dumpster."
After that, I heard footsteps and I hid myself from her. She stayed after walking for a few meters and then I received at text from her.
'I'm going home. Sorry for ditching. Rain check?'
At that moment, I did not know whether to smile or to cry. My boyfriend was going after my best friend.
I was silently sobbing when somebody spoke behind me.
"Anong ginagawa mo dito?"
It was him. His voice was nothing like before. He's now cold and ruthless. Was this the real him? Was I just being pathetic believing that he was my version of perfect prince charming?
Wiping my tear-stained cheek and controlling my breathing, I looked at him with the faintest ray of pride. "Napadaan lang ako."
He shrugged.
God, can I be more pathetic than I already am?
I tugged on his arm. "Tripp..." I called out.
He stopped and I felt him taking a deep breath. "Alys, I know you heard us talking. Masokista ka ba?"
I had to bit my lip to prevent a sob from escaping my lips. Damn I thought it would be painful but I never imagined it would be twice as painful as this. This was beyond torture.
"Tripp, akala ko ba pahinga lang? Hindi naman tayo naghiwalay..."
He sighed and held me by my shoulders. I was shaking from all the controlled sobs. It was pretty damn hard not to cry in front of your boyfriend while watching him slip away.
"Alys, let's break up."
"Ayoko!" I shouted before I even knew it. "Ayoko, Tripp!"
He closed his eyes and bit his lower lip. "Alys, wala na. Tapos na talaga."
"Sinasabi mo lang yan. You're not even trying!"
He grabbed me and shook me. "Naririnig mo ba yung sarili mo, Alys? You're being selfish. Pabayaan mo na ako. I want a life without you."
And that put a permanent scar on my heart. How could he want to have a life without me? Did he loathe me that much?
I put my head down and felt my dress getting soaked up with all the tears. My chest was tigheting and I can't breathe. It was hard breathing... Ayoko na...
My voice was faint... and I was losing faith.
"D-don't you love me anymore?"
It was more of a rhetorical question. He didn't love me. Not anymore. Did he even love me in the first place?
"I did, and I still do."
"Pero bakit mo ako sinasaktan?"
He lifted my chin and smiled at me. "Because you can't love me the way I want you to, Perez. Buong buhay ko palagi kong kahati si Drake. Ayoko na pati sa babae, magkahati kami."
"Buti I chose you!"
He shook his head. "No, Perez. You chose him. I was your safety blanket."
"Tripp..."
He kissed my cheek. "Subukan mo muna siyang habulin, Zy. Pangako kapag hindi mo siya nahabol, ako ang hahabol sa'yo."
I smiled at his response. "And why were you being a dick?"
He patted my head. "Because if I wasn't, I'd just see myself crawling back to you. I'm pathetic without you, Perez.
I held his hand. "Then let's be pathetic together. Tripp, masaya naman ako na ikaw ang kasama ko..."
He shook his head. "Let's try being apart for real, Zyril. I promise you my name. Papakasalan kita kapag hindi ka binalikan ni Drake. Come on, Perez. Mahirap 'to para sa akin."
I held his head and planted a soft kiss on his lips. "You really are my soulmate."
He smiled. "Pero hindi lahat ng soulmate nagkakatuluyan."
"I know."
He offered his hand. "Friends?"
I shook my head. "You'll marry me someday."