Quick Note: The picture on the right is from bottom to top, part of Sausalito and the Golden Gate Bridge, the center picture is the San Francisco Panhandle (the skinnier grassy bushes and the streets on either side of them the thicker part is the golden gate park). The freeway from the golden gate bridge goes all the way through the golden gate park to the panhandle and to the freeway leading to the bay bridge which is the top photo to get to the east bay, at least one way to get there. I've driven it hundreds of times when I lived and worked in San Francisco long time ago. The other side photos is part of the themes I pictured for decor etc and colors for Evan and Kyle's Counseling building. Hope you enjoy this chapter and I better hear from you all I know I will from some of you hehehe and a long one I believe enjoy!! =D
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“Relax Sonja, I’m sure everything will be fine,” Evan chuckled patting my knee as he drove my car through the city.
“You don’t know my mother and as silly as this sounds, I haven’t brought a boy home since Jerry. She’s going to flock to you like a vulture,” I fidgeted with my hands as we drove.
My parents lived in the Easy Bay. I already informed my mother that I am bringing a guest for Thanksgiving, just didn’t tell her who he is to me.
“I won’t mind and I know not to mention I was your therapist even temporarily.”
“Oh god, I forgot, yes don’t she’ll either get all judgy or even worse more nosy than she already is,” I covered my face with my hands. I almost regret inviting Evan since its making me so nervous, only because my mom did get super excited when I told her about a guest. My mom is…eccentric.
“Sonja,” I turned to look at him when he said my name in that tone. “It will be okay,” he spoke confidently. I nodded, still skeptical.
Evan continued driving and squeezed my knee. We were in my car though he drove. I felt it would be better with my mom’s crazy wondering who it would be if we pulled up in his sleek Cadillac. I wasn’t driving my own car because Evan decided that I am too nervous to concentrate on the task. He let me pout about that, but turns out he ended up being right.
As the San Francisco panhandle flew by on our way to the bay bridge, I tried to distract my thoughts. Most of the week I spent working on designing a theme for Kyle and Evan’s counseling offices.
There were two other women that Kyle and Mike their contractor, recommended who I am working with on the project. We managed to create a palate that everyone was pleased with. Next week I would be shopping with Vera for the furnishings.
Vera is a younger woman who had skin that looked as creamy and rich as the chocolate it resembled, with big deep dark eyes that sparkled when she smiled. She is very pleasant and quite humorous, a fun person to work with. I noticed she had a keen eye for matching the physical furniture to our color palate. The catalogs we took ideas from showed that about her.
Jennifer would be working with Mike on the paint design on the inside of the building and its offices. Jennifer struck me as more of a tomboy type that just enjoyed painting and putting together the whole thing on a large scale. I guess she has worked with Mike before and they spent most their time together talking about the construction.
Soon we would be putting it all together when we finished with all the setup. By the time they would be getting it ready to arrange it all in the building from our concept designs, I would be back to work. I would only be able to help on the weekends, but I would be getting lots of good images for the website and that’s what I would be finishing up and what I was here for anyway.
I smirked at how this account has worked out so different than most in more ways that professionally. Usually, I had meetings every other week with the clients at my office and hardly any outside socializations unless necessary.
But since they were building their business from the ground up and now that Evan and I saw each other outside of the professional realm, I hardly needed him or Kyle to come in for consultations. I could run it by them anytime I am around them at the buildings location or with Evan.
Plus helping with the interior design is an extracurricular project and new to me, I am enjoying it. Instead of designs only in the digital world, I am part of a team in the physical realm and it certainly is challenging on the larger scale.
“What are you thinking about?” Evan asked. I must have been quiet longer than I thought as I saw the bay bridge nearing over the horizon.
“Oh about the interior design,” I sighed.
“Is something wrong?”
I smiled. “No, just brainstorming, I enjoy it.”
“That’s good, at least you’re not worrying about your mom,” he smirks at me through the corner of his eye and I glare at him.
“Now I am again ack,” I groaned, but am smiling all the same.
“Just tell me where to go once we get to the other side of the bridge, I don’t get out to the east bay often,” he smiles as we ease onto the bridge slowly. Good thing we left early. I knew there would be traffic first thing on Thanksgiving morning.
“Take the south exit onto the 880 towards Hayward or San Jose,” I announced after we went through the toll line. The traffic is dense and I gripped the center console as Evan weaved in and out aggressively.
“Almost as bad as driving in LA,” he commented.
“Yes I know, why I rarely come out this way unless it’s for family.”
I directed him where to exit and the familiar streets of where I grew up started to whisk on by. I never cared much for the east bay. I always wanted to live out near or in San Francisco designing and building something from nothing. I had an eye for web design so that is what I did and I love it. I guess I did get my wish. Plus it didn’t help I met Jerry here during a routine home visit.
Soon enough we pulled up to my parent’s vintage home. The house is a huge blue and white two story, turn of the century building that has been renovated from the inside out. All hardwood floors so every footstep echoed through the house. I could see movement inside from the front window porch. It looked like everyone jumped up to cheer as the football game must be on and movement in the kitchen windows.
My door opened surprising me. I didn’t notice Evan had gotten out already.
“What’s that smell?” he asked sniffing the air. I did the same and rolled my eyes.
“That would be my mom’s cooking, she probably burnt something,” I sighed. Evan laughed and turned towards the front porch and its heavy off-white solid oak door.
“No, we always come in around the side that door is way too heavy, and it would announce my arrival to everyone.”
Evan smiles and puts an arm around my waist as I led him down the driveway. I could see some of the kids playing out in the yard, jumping on the huge trampoline. Mostly they were children of my Aunt’s and Uncle’s or cousins. I am an only child, but my parents have a lot of brothers and sisters. Obviously, I haven’t had any kids yet. I always wanted them, eventually, just my career came first.
“Hey Aunt Sonny!” I cringed. I tried to get inside before the kids noticed me as I walked up the steps to the back porch.
“Hey Haley,” I called turning around and waved. Evan had a hand at the small of my back and a completely amused expression on his face at my nervousness as he watched. I gave him a dirty look.
“Hey you invited me remember?” he placed a kiss on my forehead.
“Glad you are enjoying yourself,” I said.
“Yes I am.”
“Who is that man with you?” Haley called back. Before I could answer the back door flew open.
“I thought I heard someone call out your name. Sonny you’re here!” I turned to smile at my mom.
“Hi mom, you’ve changed your hair…again.”
My mom had a big smile on her face. The muted orange color of her short hair clashed with the tacky holiday sweater she wore. There is even a huge turkey style clip in her hair. The half rim glasses slipped down the bridge of her nose.The chain around them would catch them before they fell. My mom hardly noticed sometimes and spent an hour searching for her glasses once, though they dangled from her neck. It is hard to believe sometimes she is only fifty years old from the spark of life that twinkled in her eyes.
“Oh it’s just for the holiday come here young lady,” she pulled me to her for a hug. “Ohhh who is this morsel of a man?” she cooed looking behind me.
“Mom,” I exclaimed. She knew I was bringing a male guest already.
“What?! I’m married not dead, now introduce us proper,” she said her eyes darting back and forth between us. I turned to Evan who is having a hard time keeping a straight face at the situation.
“Mom this is Evan Jacobs, my boyfriend,” I might as well get it over with early quick and fast. Her eyes widened and glanced at me before back to Evan.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” Evan extended his hand and my mom took it, shaking enthusiastically.
“Likewise, it’s been so long since Sonny has brought anyone home. I’m happy for her,” Evan smiles pleasantly as I shift from foot to foot. “Now come on in, everyone will want to say hi and you and I Evan will get to know each other,” I rolled my eyes as my mom dragged Evan into the house.
“So where did Sonja get the nickname Sonny?” Evan asked looking behind at me and winking.
I closed my eyes as I shut the back door behind me. “Kill me now,” I muttered to myself. But I am slightly pleased that this is going well so far. It could be worse.
I followed the sound of my mother’s voice as she carried on a non-stop chatter to Evan. A small amused smile came on my face as she explained the nickname. How my parents thought it was odd my hair came out so darkly with everyone being natives of the sunshine state. She is a natural blonde, but my dad has the same dark raven hair and deep icy blue eyes. So they nicknamed me ‘Sonny’ in contrast.
No one at home in Sausalito called me that, no one really knew of it. Stacy did, but she wasn’t around for my childhood and preferred her own nicknames for people.
The sound of whistles being blown and commentators speaking on the TV began to filter through the chatter as we made our way into the front room. All the men were in there watching football.
“Sonny sweetie, there you are,” my dad said when I entered and my mom stood there proudly with an arm in Evan’s.
My dad jumped up to come give me a hug. He is tall and lanky and sometimes had to duck in the house from the aged and low archways. My mom wouldn’t get rid of them in the renovation. I noticed they had moved the pool table out in the side yard to make room for the long oak dining room table they pulled out every year for the holidays.
“Hi dad,” I said. He squeezed me tight so it sounded more like a grunt.
“Honey this is Evan, Sonja’s new beau,” my mom announced when my father let me go not giving me a chance to introduce him myself.
“Nice to meet you, I hope you are taking care of my baby girl,” he shook Evan’s hand so firmly it pulled him forward a little bit and that’s saying something as Evan is not a small guy either.
“Of course sir, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
My dad let out a rumble of laughter clapping Evan on the back. “The man knows what to say. Come watch the game with us.”
Evan glances at me and I just raise an eyebrow. My dad introduced him to all my other relatives that were in the room and had gravitated in here from what they heard inside the kitchen. My Aunt Celeste and Uncle Hank, the little girl’s parents Haley who had announced my arrival all got introduced.
My grandparents, another set of uncles and aunts, cousins that were all adults now and their children that were playing outside. Family is everywhere in this house on the holidays. Most the women fled back into the kitchen after they got their fill of the new arrival to help my mom.
“Oh dear I better check on that ham,” she blurted out when Celeste tapped her on the shoulder jumping to her feet. My mom had gotten caught up in the excitement as usual. Her footsteps sounded noisily on the floor as she disappeared into the kitchen.
My mom the horrible cook, but always managed to make holidays work. No one ever complained if the rolls were burnt, or the turkey meat too dry because she made it such a happy and easy going atmosphere.
“Hey Sonny,” a familiar voice said behind me. My back straightened out where I stood in the archway at that voice. The person it belonged to came to stand parallel next to me.
“Adam, hi, what are you doing here?” I haven’t laid eyes on his green ones in a long time.
“Your parents invited me since mine are overseas doing their thing.”
“Again? Oh well that’s nice of my parents.”
“They always were like family,” he smiled at me, I forgot about the dimples. The golden sandy brown hair still shined. My stomach twisted. This day has just gotten more interesting.
“Adam come meet Sonny’s new man,” my dad called. I closed my eyes making an exasperated face as I took in a breath.
Adam chuckled at me. “It’s good to see you again Sonny,” he touched the side of my arm affectionately.
“You too.”
When I turned to the living room Evan is watching this interaction curiously.
“Evan this is Adam, Adam, Evan, Sonja’s boyfriend,” my dad said as they shook hands. Of course my dad wouldn’t find it awkward it was ancient history in his eyes.
“Hello,” Evan said politely, but I could tell he didn’t care for this man who seemed to know me intimately. And he did. We were high school sweethearts.
I broke up with him to go to college and pursue my dream. He wanted to live day to day in the moment. I wondered many times how different my life would have been, but then I never would have met Evan. That thought scares me more than anything.
I certainly was not expecting Adam to be here though. Of course if my mom had known Evan was my boyfriend she might have held off on inviting Adam. That would have been sad though since his parents were always gone and never showed him the time of day as their son. It was why he was such a carefree guy and I wanted to be grounded, sure of everything.
He did bring out a wild side in me that has been bubbling to the surface again with Evan on a more stable level. I wanted the stability and excitement. Evan provided that and more. I wanted more than not knowing what the next day would bring.
I shook my head and settled in. Needing a drink I retreated to the kitchen and poured a glass of wine and let all my Aunts and cousins gush over Evan to me. My mom asked me a billion questions about him. By the time two hours had gone by, I already felt drained.
I wandered back to the living room. The men had shifted in their seating arrangements and now Evan occupied the armchair. I snuck up behind him and ran a hand down his chest bending over to kiss his cheek.
“How are you doing?” I asked. He pulled me around to sit on the arm of the chair and wrapped an arm around my waist making me smile.
“Better now that you’re here,” he mumbled.
“Oh I thought you guys liked your time with the football.”
“I do, don’t get me wrong these just aren’t my teams.”
“I know,” we both chuckled and I leaned down to kiss his nose.
When I looked up sipping my wine, I saw my dad wasn’t exactly looking at us, but he had a knowing smile on his face. I knew he was happy to see me happy again, but would watch Evan like a hawk after what Jerry did to me.
When my eyes landed on Adam’s he smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes and he looked back at the TV sipping on his beer. I wonder if he expected to have a better reunion than me bringing home a boyfriend. I sighed.
“Who is he to you?” Evan asked.
The last time I saw Adam was when I left Jerry the first time, before the restraining order and arrest and court. He offered to take me away and I turned him down. A long story short, we fought and he walked away saying he couldn’t deal with another broken heart watching me let Jerry manipulate and abuse me. Needless to say, having him leave woke me up. I was still broken at the time and it would be another year before I really got away and the trial started.
“History, a long history and I broke his heart,” I said quietly.
“Ah, at least you’re honest about it.”
I smiled slyly at Evan. “What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked.
He pulled me down into his lap and I yelped, surprised by his boldness in front of my family.
“That you feel comfortable to tell me such things even if you aren’t the hero.”
“Oh yeah, how about you? Anything to tell me where you’re not the hero?” The photo album popped into my head. Evan laughed, his response is interrupted by my mom calling everyone to dinner.
“Here we go,” I said wiggling my eyebrow at Evan.
Once everyone had settled in and started eating around the table, my mom sat next to Evan on his left and started on her interrogation. I think my cheeks flushed pink the whole time though luckily the wine I was drinking covered up the embarrassment.
Evan answered her and my other family respectfully when they chipped in, curious about the first man I bring home in two years. Though Jerry has been in jail for a year, I was with him for five years, the last three being the abusive dark times.
Evan kept an arm around me from time to time showing his affection and I could barely eat as my mother had once again overcooked most everything. The atmosphere around the table is pleasant and friendly. Even Adam joined in the conversation and Evan was polite, he seemed to ease up on the dislike from what I had said.
Embarrassed yes, but I didn’t feel uncomfortable like I expected. Having Evan here and with me didn’t make things awkward. It is in fact quite the opposite. Everyone seemed comfortable with him despite their natural curiosity.
Then my dad had to ask the million dollar question.
“How did you two meet?” Both Evan and I looked up at my dad like deer in headlights for a moment.
“At work actually,” I said taking a sip of my wine.
“Oh are you in web design?” My dad continued, chewing on his food and watching Evan like a father does.
“My, I didn’t even think to ask,” my mom chimed in. She had been so busy being curious about Evan she hadn’t thought of the obvious.
“No, I am a psychologist; my partner and I are having a website designed for our counseling practice that we are starting.”
My heart started to hammer. My parents knew all about my therapy program, as they spent the first two months of it forcing me to go.
“Oh,” my dad looked at me as if asking if Evan knows about my issue, if he only knew just how much. I just nodded. “So you are aware of Sonja’s…past,” my dad asked.
“Yes, her therapist Dr. Mayweather is a colleague of mine,” Evan answered without making a big deal of it. I couldn’t be more grateful.
“Sonja you’re finished with all that now aren’t you?” My mom asked.
“Yes I am,” I answered quietly and my dad spoke again.
“So do you therapists tend to know one another?”
“It can be a close knit community at times or when it is local. Most have known each other from college though it depends on where they end up afterwards to.”
I wish my dad would get off the subject already. The therapy is finished. They didn’t know I had a replacement from Dr. Mayweather’s accident. I never got around to telling them because of meeting Evan and I knew they would be full of questions about it and ‘advice’.
“I see, so where are you setting up your practice?”
My father and Evan went into a discussion about the building him and Kyle constructed. I sighed with relief that the subject is changed. I wasn’t sure how they would react to knowing Evan was my therapist for the last three months of my program. My father had worked in some construction before so he bombarded Evan with building questions about new protocol or procedures that he tried to answer as best he could.
Soon as I could, I excused myself and helped in the kitchen with the cleanup. The house settled down after that in the late afternoon, everyone succumbing to their turkey comas. All I could hear were muffled comments or cheers from the living room and the sound of the evening football game.
“He cares about you a great deal,” I jumped at the sound of my mom’s voice next to me. I turned to look at her. She had a serious smile on her face and it's contagious.
“I hope so,” I said softly washing the plate I held.
“He does, the way he put up with us and our badgering, it wasn’t forced. He enjoyed it and the way he looks at you and absently shows you affection. I like him,” she took the plate from my hand to rinse and set it in the dishwasher. My mom gave me a knowing look then stared out the window.
“You love him don’t you?” She asked so matter of fact it was hard to believe she can be so dense sometimes.
“I do,” I sighed. How is it so easy to say so to my mom, but made me so nervous about telling Evan himself, I would never understand.
“But you haven’t told him.”
“No, I’m afraid of it after Jerry,” I answered.
“I don’t think with Evan you have anything to worry about…Adam is quiet about it, but he seems to understand.”
“Adam was my fault, but you can’t dwell on the past, that much I’ve learned.” My mom nodded. We washed the dishes quietly together listening to the football game drift our way.
“How strange.”
“What?” I looked up at my mom who is staring out the window.
“That man, I swear that is about a dozen times I’ve seen him walk by today and staring over here.”
“What?!” I said more alarmed now and looked up out the kitchen window that overlooked the street. All I saw was what looked like a man walking swiftly away, his back to us in the fading light in a black hooded coat. Oh no. My stomach knotted.
“Didn’t you say Jerry is being released soon?” My mom said as if she were reading my mind.
“Yes he should be out already, I forgot all about it,” my voice is low and hoarse at the possibility that could have been him. He did know where my parents lived and spent holidays here. My mouth went dry and when I tried to gulp it made me cough. “Do you think that was him? Have you seen his face?” I asked.
“No, I didn’t pay it much mind cooking all day…Looks like I’ll be making a trip to the lawyer’s office,” my mom muttered the last part. He couldn’t possibly have known I’d be here. I wasn’t even sure that it was him. We didn’t see his face. Deep down though I knew it had to be him. My hands shook.
“Think it’s time for you to get home so you can beat the traffic,” my mom smiled pleasantly at me knowing my distress. “Don’t you worry one minute on this, Evan will keep you safe and you have Stacy, Ken and Eddie,” my mom soothed me.
She doesn’t even know about the most recent events. Wow, I really have been busy in my own world to have lapsed so much on keeping her updated. Not once did she mention or complain about it. I truly am grateful for my parents and the way they respect me and let me be myself and deal with things on my own.
“Thanks mom.”
“Go say good bye, I won’t mention this to your father just be safe,” she hugged me tight.
After we said our good bye I walked quickly into the living room. “Evan I’d like to go home now,” I whispered and he immediately picked up on the masked distress in my voice.
“What’s wrong?” he asks quietly.
“I’ll tell you in private,” I stood back up from where I had leaned in close.
“Hey everyone, I think we are going to head home and try and beat traffic,” I said louder for my family to hear.
A chorus of mumbled ‘okay’ and ‘drive safe’ rang out from the cousins, aunts and uncles lounging on the furniture like beached whales. My dad and Adam were the ones who stood up.
“A pleasure as always my baby girl,” my dad kissed my cheek and pulled me into an affectionate hug.
“Love you daddy,” I said smiling, he turned to Evan next.
“I am pleased to have met you Evan you take care now,” they shook hands and exchanged pleasantries.
“I’m glad you’re happy again Sonja, it’s nice to see you smile,” Adam said to me softly.
“Thanks, you always have a friend in me you know,” I said.
“I do,” he smiled and I pulled him in for a hug. He squeezed me back more than I expected.
“Evan good luck with this one,” Adam said in a friendly tone when he let go of me. Evan genuinely smiled back at him.
“Thank you, luck brought her to me,” I blushed as I put on my coat watching them shake hands. At least they didn’t seem to feel much awkwardness between each other.
Leaving my parents is a much quieter event than arriving. I looked around for any sign of the man we saw but there is none as Evan secured me in my car.
“So what is wrong?” he asked and knowing my caution left quickly.
“Someone has been watching the house all day or seems like it. My mom mentioned it then I realized he was released this week.”
“Can he even do that?”
“He wouldn’t have known I am here. This car is new, he wouldn’t recognize it. His restraining order is just against me, but my mom is going to get one now…just in case.”
“Dammit, doesn’t it still mean he has already violated his probation? Being so far from town? Doesn’t he have an ankle bracelet? Wouldn’t it be obvious you would be home for the holiday?” Evan growled thinking more to himself than speaking at me.
“I don’t know I thought he did from the paperwork my lawyer sent me. We don’t even know that it was Jerry. Neither of us saw his face and she only mentioned it just now.”
“This bothers me Sonja if he is already searching you out…” it more than just bothered him.
“I know I’ll talk to my lawyer,” I said reaching for his hand in the hopes it would reassure him.
We were silent for most of the ride home, tired and thinking about this supposed lurker. My stomach began to growl with hunger. I hardly ate anything at my parents.
“Did you like my family?” I asked when we arrived home to Evan’s apartment.
Neither of us wanted to mention the possibility that Jerry is now out and lurking around. It’s all we need, another wrench in our new relationship. There seemed to be so many already.
“Yes, you were right your mom is quite eccentric,” he chuckles.
“Sorry about that.”
“It’s quite alright,” once we were inside he pulled me to him and kissed me deeply. “Mm been wanting to do that all day…but I believe you need something to eat,” he heard the growling of my stomach.
“Yes it’s not easy trying to eat my mom’s cooking,” I giggled.
“I’ll go get us some wine and find something open anything in particular?”
“Tacos,” I blurted out.
“Done, I won’t be long and please get comfortable,” he winked at me. All that sexy desire beginning to fill in his eyes from a different type of hunger.
“Will do,” I promised and stole a kiss before he left.
I changed out of my day clothes realizing I didn’t have anything here. Boxer is safe with Stacy since she had her family at her house this year. I didn’t think to grab a change of clothes. I hoped Evan wouldn’t mind me wearing one of his t-shirts and a pair of sweats.
Settling on his couch I searched for the remote, but his book case caught my eye, spying that photo album, the college photo album. It hit me then, what he had said at dinner. ‘Most of us have known each other from college it depends’.
At the time I didn’t think twice about it. I was too nervous about my dad talking about my therapy with Evan. Getting up; I hesitantly went over to the book case and pulled the album out slowly.
I felt wrong in holding it. What if it didn’t mean anything? Shouldn’t I trust Evan and that he wasn’t hiding anything super bad from me? Surely nothing could be as bad as what that lady did to him and he told me about that.
I stood there debating for a few minutes before I decided it would be wrong of me to snoop. Evan would tell me eventually, whatever it was. I turned so quickly to put the album back in its place that I bumped my hip against the corner of his desk dropping the album.
“Shit, ow,” I muttered rubbing my hip. When the slight sting subsided, I bent to pick up the album.
I stopped in mid bend. It had fallen open and I stared in disbelief at what I saw.
Though they were much younger in the photos there is no mistaking who it was. Slowly, I picked it up and sat down in his desk chair without thinking about it needing to catch my balance as my head began to spin.
Why did the smiling faces I looked at seem to be mocking me? What did it mean? Why did he hide this? Of course I didn’t know all the answers, but this he should have told me.
I didn’t notice the time, just sat as I tried to figure it out and keep myself from letting the anger rise when I heard the door open.
“I’m back and come bearing tacos,” Evan called and my head turned towards his voice, waiting for him to enter the room.
When he did and saw me and what I held all the color and happiness drained from his face. Replacing it with what I could only interpret as dread.
“What are you doing with that? He asked. He actually sounded angry with me. Of course it did look like I had snooped, still, it set me off, but my voice remained calm and detached.
“I was going to look…when I remembered what you said at dinner. I decided not to. I was putting it back and bumped into the desk…it fell open.”
Evan put down the bags he carried onto his coffee table seemingly believing what I said. I waited watching as he took his coat off and his tie tossing them onto his recliner before he sat down and just studied my face.
“I’ll explain it all Sonja,” he said seriously.
“Good, because I can’t figure out why you seem to be happy in these photos with Dr. Mayweather.”