"I love you."
"I love you more."
"No, I love you more!"
"Shut up. I said it first."
"You're such a bitch, Angelina."
The slap Jase receives from Angelina echoes in the dark of the night.
"God, you're so hot when you're mad."
When they start making out, I spin around at the picnic table to face Elliott and Yogi. The two are talking about jockstraps. I decide it's better to watch the toxically-in-love Jangelina instead.
"I love you so much."
"I love you so much more!"
I sigh, noting how easily they can say "I love you" to one another. I wanted to tell Elliott earlier today, but I freaked out and complimented his shirt that isn't even cute! I mean, saying that to him is going to change everything. I've never told anyone I've loved them before.
It's huge deal to me. I have to be absolutely sure of it. The urge to tell him should just be in the spur of the moment, easily rolling off my tongue.
"Hey, thanks for avoiding all my calls!"
I turn my head to the right, surprised to see Flynn standing near the picnic table. "Hi! I'm so sorry. This week has been super hectic." I stand up and give him a hug. "What are you doing here?"
"Elliott asked me to come," he says. "Apparently he has some big news. I'm just hoping he didn't go and get a girl pregnant." He nudges me as he wiggles his eyebrows. "So, how have you been?"
I shrug. "Half the time I feel like I'm being impaled by a fork and the other half I feel like a person who waited three hours in line for a ride but the amusement parks shuts down before you can go on."
He lifts his eyebrows and sits next to me. "Jesus, Ivy, the Kennedy's are really treating you that bad?"
"Well, two days ago Ethan actually did impale me with his fork, but that's not the point." I take a deep breath. "I'm going through some personal business on the side."
He nods. "So, as a concerned boyfriend and not a prying jerk, can I just ask, how is Nora involved in all of this?"
"She's not," I lie.
"Ivy, she loves hanging out with you. For the past three days she has changed the subject from your name to some chicken recipe her brother is working on quicker than you can say 'hey, Flynn, I just want to let you know that I trust and respect you enough to be honest and truthful to you about everything.'"
"That's not that quick," I say slowly.
"Not the point. I know something happened and I need to know what."
"First of all, Flynn, you don't need to know, and just for the sake of ending this conversation, I think Nora should tell you."
"She told me that you should be the one to tell me!" He shakes his head. "Women are so damn confusing."
I smile softly. "I'll talk to Nora soon, and then we can talk to you."
"You're finally going to talk to Nora?" Elliott asks, jumping in on the conversation.
"Yeah." After my talk with Mrs. West, I knew that Nora and Jett were my family, and with them I can find a home. "I think I should."
Elliott smiles softly, a proud look on his face.
"Okay. Wait. He knows? You told him. But you didn't tell me? What is this?"
"Guess my girlfriend likes me better," Elliott says, throwing his arm over my shoulders.
Flynn opens his mouth to object before clamping it shut and looking off into the distance. He remains concentrated on some object over our heads, his eyebrows crinkled together.
"Damn!" Yogi screams, breaking into Flynn's silent reaction. "Cheers to that freaking news!" He grabs Elliott by his shoulders and pushes him back and forth in excitement. "My boy got himself a girlfriend!"
Everyone cheers, whooping and clapping their hands together loudly. Angelina and Jase even stop kissing to join in. It's incredibly awkward for both Elliott and me as we sit there smiling for a whole minute of applause. Things settle down shortly after, once Yogi leaves to dive off the cliff.
"Flynn," I start nervously, "are you okay?"
He purses his lips. "Me? Oh, I'm fine." Tipping his head back, he chugs the rest of his beer. "So, you two are seriously dating?"
"I wanted to tell you, but I-"
"But you couldn't risk the kids finding out and telling your mom. I get it." He smiles warmly and winks in my direction. "I'm happy for you two." He stands up and walks to get himself another beer.
Elliott rests his elbow on the table, his fist under his chin. "That wasn't the reaction I was expecting."
I laugh. "Not everything has to be so dramatic, Li. Your siblings watch too many soap operas."
"Yeah, but Flynn is the epitome of a soap opera star. To not even react in the slightest to finding out his best friend has been dating his nanny for weeks behind his back? It's so unlike him."
I shrug, glancing over my shoulder to look at Flynn. "He was probably just hoping you had something more exciting to tell him. I mean, he thought you were about to be a dad."
"Well that's unlikely since he's not getting any action from you," Yogi snorts, plopping down at the picnic table.
I wrinkle my nose at the stench of his sweaty body and his annoying comment. "You don't know what you're talking about, Landon."
Yogi lifts his eyebrows. "Oh? So, you two are screwing?"
"I didn't say that."
"Did you take like a chastity pledge or something, Lynch?"
"Yogi, knock it off," Elliott mutters.
"You know I'm just messing around!" he exclaims. "I love your little Ivy."
I smile awkwardly. "So, when do you guys start initiating people?"
"I'd say in a few minutes," he answers. "The first bunch are some college kids Jase and Angelina know that won't last. Hardy and I picked out the keepers, you know?"
"Who picked out Elliott?" I ask, poking Elliott's stomach with my pointer finger. He smiles and takes my hand in his, gently placing a kiss on the back of my hand.
"His dad, of course," Yogi answers. "The legend of all cliff divers."
I frown and look to Elliott who has dropped my hand at the mention of his dad. "Your dad used to dive here?"
"Oh, yeah! His dad was the founder of the founders. How's the old man doing, El?"
Elliott shrugs. "Fine."
"Great to hear it," he says and stands up from the table. "Looks like the college kids are coming in now." He slaps Elliott on his back. "Wish them luck, eh?"
I watch as Yogi approaches a group of two guys and three girls, the guys in swim shorts and the girls in bikinis. One of the guys looks familiar, but I can't place where I know him from.
"What's the initiation process?" I ask in interest.
"Well," Elliott pauses, "it's kind of hard to explain. And I don't think you're going to like it very much."
"What?" I squint my eyes. "Is it dangerous?"
"I mean, what were you expecting? An easy initiation?"
"I don't know. What do they have to do?" I ask eagerly.
He sighs. "They have to get really drunk before jumping off the cliff. It's dumb, but it's tradition."
"A tradition started by your dad?"
"Yeah, Ivy. My dad's an ass. We get it."
"I didn't say that," I argue. "I'm just clarifying. It's surprising to know that you are so passionate about being part of something your dad was a big part of too."
He nods. "Yeah."
"He's a Target model!" I gasp randomly, remembering exactly how I knew that guy.
"No, Ivy, my dad's an insurance man."
"No, no," I laugh. "That guy over there." I point in the direction of the college kids. "He models for Target. I knew he looked familiar!"
Elliott squints his eyes. "The one with the rock hard abs or the dreamy eyes?"
"The dreamy-" I stop and look at Elliott with an unamused face. "Elliott, that guy over there is practically a celebrity! This is not a joke!"
Elliott's face lights up. "Flynn!" He waves his hand around frantically. "Come here!"
Flynn, who has been sitting near the beer cooler for the past twenty minutes, gets up and walks over to us. "What?"
"That guy over there is a Target model. He's practically a celebrity."
Flynn doesn't change the bored look on his face for even a second. "So?"
"So," Elliott says, dragging out the 'o' sound, "you wanted to meet a celebrity over the summer and now is your chance!"
His best friend's eyes widen. "Dude!"
"I know!"
"This is my last goal!" Flynn squeals in excitement. "This is so huge. Take our photo, Elliott." He shoves his phone in Elliott's hands before rushing over to the group.
He poses with this guy, not the target model, and smiles widely for the photo. The poor and confused man looks around awkwardly before smiling for the photo as well. Elliott takes it before I can stop him.
Just as Flynn is about to introduce himself to this stranger, I pull him away. "That's not the guy."
"Who was that then?"
"I don't know."
"Well, he touched my butt and suddenly I'm feeling violated," Flynn whisper-screams.
"And if it were the Target model you would feel perfectly fine?" I ask.
He hesitates on responding. "Ivy, that's not the point!"
I shake my head and bring him over to where the model and a few other strangers stand. "Excuse me.." I tap on the model's shoulder.
"Hey," the model says with a model smile.
"Hi," I respond, a little out of breath from being so starstruck.
"I'm Elliott. This is my girlfriend Ivy. This is my best friend Flynn. We're your biggest fans," Elliott says in the most bland voice I have heard in my life.
"Can I take a picture with you?" Flynn asks hopefully.
"Sure, man," the model says, throwing his arm over Flynn's shoulders and striking a pose for the photo.
Elliott takes the picture before giving Flynn his phone back. "What's your name, kid?"
"First of all, kid, I'm older than you. Respect your elders. But I'm-"
"Ted!" a high-pitched voice shouts from the trees.
I turn my head to see who is calling for our Target model friend, my stomach dropping when I see none other than the infamous Carter running over to us in just a bikini. She jumps into Ted's arms, her legs wrapping around his waist and her lips locking with his.
The three of us stand there awkwardly for a bit as the couple makes out. Elliott takes my hand, his thumb rubbing across my skin gently.
"Holy crap! Elliott!" Carter laughs when she sees her ex. She wraps her arms around him tightly, and he lets go of my hand to hug her back. Letting go of my boyfriend, she turns to hug Flynn next. "Flynn, you look so good!"
"Yeah, I know," Flynn says with a shrug. "It's nice to see you again, Carter."
"Babe, you know my biggest fans?" Ted asks in surprise.
Carter looks at Flynn, then Elliott, and then finally stops on me. "Who's this?"
"I-I'm Ivy," I introduce, sticking my hand out. "We've actually met before. Well...sort of." Somehow I end up rambling. "It was that night you got hit with the ping-pong ball, remember? You had your photoshoot with Tyra Banks the next morning. I was there. Flynn introduced us. You probably don't remember. I'm Ivy. I nanny for the Kennedy's."
Carter smiles. "No, I do remember you! I was so worried I'd have to be concerned about you living with Elliott, but then once I saw you I knew you weren't a threat!"
Although her voice seemed all friendly, I still felt offended by that subtle dig. "Right." I force a smile. "Well, it's nice to officially meet you."
Elliott looks at me knowingly and attempts to end the conversation. "Uh, good luck tonight, Ted."
"Thanks," Ted says. "You too?"
"No, babe. Elliott has been part of the cliff for years. He's one of the best." She bites her lip, eyeing my boyfriend up and down. "Aren't you, Liott?"
I hate the way she says his nickname. I hate the way I can't stop thinking about that dumb Polaroid of Carter I found in Elliott's room earlier today. I hate the way that my boyfriend is trying so hard to keep his eyes on just her face.
"I don't know. I wouldn't say I'm the best," Elliott says awkwardly. "I just...I just really enjoy diving. That's all."
"You're so passionate about it," Carter says, her voice full of sultry. "One of the things that made me most attracted to you."
"Same," I jump in, my voice loud and awkward. "I love you for your...hot, sexy passion."
Elliott slaps his hand against his forehead as I cringe at my own awkwardness.
Carter laughs. "Wait! So, you two are dating?" She smirks. "That's so cute."
"Babe, I gotta go start drinking. Come on, I want to do body shots off you!" Ted says, tugging on her arm.
"Takes you back, doesn't it, Li?" Carter asks, her voice slow and seductive. She spins around, slamming against Ted. I hear her mumble, "talk about a downgrade."
I growl inwardly, my jaw clenched so hard I think I might break a tooth. Before I can lunge at her, Flynn holds me back.
"Ivy," Elliott says, taking me by my arm, "ignore her. She likes messing with people. She just wants a reaction from you."
"Actually, Elliott, I think she wanted a reaction from you," Flynn mumbles.
Elliott glares at his friend and points his finger by the picnic table. "Cooler. Now."
Flynn drops his head and walks over to the cooler in defeat where he grabs himself a beer.
"He's right, Elliott," I sigh. "And she succeeded."
"What? Ivy, I don't feel anything towards Carter."
I frown and raise a skeptical eyebrow. "You felt no sexual attraction to her?"
"No!" he exclaims. "Nothing."
"Don't lie to me. Even I was feeling a little attracted to her!" I wave my hands about like a madwoman. "She just screams sex!"
"Ivy, keep your voice down," he whispers, pulling me to the side of the opening by some trees. "You sound crazy."
"You know I'm right," I argue.
He runs his hand over his face and sighs. "Okay, she is very openly sexual, but that doesn't change anything between us. I don't want to be with her."
"But I don't...you know." I cross my arms over my chest awkwardly.
"No, Ivy, I don't know. What are you talking about?"
I look around nervously and embarrassingly spit out the words, "I don't get sexual with you."
Elliott tries his best to hide the smile that so desperately wants to come on his face. He covers his mouth with his hand.
I slap at his chest. "It's not funny! I'm being serious!"
"I know, Ivy." He straightens his face. "I know. But you don't have to worry about stuff like that. It's not important to me."
"Then why do you have that photo of Carter in your desk?"
He looks at me in confusion. "What photo?"
"It-it's a Polaroid of her in just a bra and underwear," I explain. "I found it in your desk."
He concentrates, trying to remember what photo I'm talking about. It comes to him quickly, his eyes widening. "You saw that? Ivy, I took that so long ago."
"You took it! I knew it!"
"Yes, I took it," he says. "Why is that a big deal? We were seeing each other. It's not like I was with you or anything."
"It's not about that, Elliott. You're missing the bigger picture."
"I don't think there is a bigger picture. I just took it with my Polaroid camera-"
"Not what I meant," I mutter. "The fact is, Elliott, you kept that photo in your desk. And you took that photo. You've been so intimate with Carter, in ways that you've never been with me. And-and I'm not ready for anything like that anytime soon." I take a deep breath. "So, how can I possibly be enough?"
He shakes his head an inch, a frown on his face. "Ivy, you don't have to be some sex-crazed model to be enough for me. Yeah, I was intimate with Carter, but that's all we were. It was nothing like what we have."
"You told me you cared about her, back when you guys ended things." I sigh. "She wasn't just a friend with benefits to you, Elliott."
"No...but that's all I was to her," he says. "And I didn't know any better back then." He takes me by the shoulders. "Look, I didn't even know I had that picture. I forgot about it, okay? I don't like Carter. I like you, Ivy."
Like. There's that platonic word. I'm getting sick of it, if that wasn't already obvious enough.
"I love everything about you," he adds, kissing my forehead. "Even your awkward attempts to be sexy that still end up being sexy anyway."
I laugh. "Oh? Is that so?" I lick the air, moving my head around in an uncomfortable way.
Elliott laughs and pulls me in close against his chest. "I'm not going to be able to control myself much longer if you keep that up, Red."
"Okay, I hate to interrupt," Flynn says as he steps into the woods to get our attention, "but Jake Acker just showed up with your entire family."
Elliott and I look at each other in horror. I'm the first to start running, Elliott quickly behind me. Sure enough, Jake is standing over by Hardy and Val, Bethany in his arms.
"Jake!" I scream. "What the heck?" I take Bethany from him, rocking her back and forth. "Why are you here?"
"Uh...I came to be initiated..."
"You're babysitting my family!" I stop, my stomach flipping when I realize what I just said. "I mean, you're babysitting Elliott's family!" Jake smiles in amusement. "Don't make me slap you again!"
He raises his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I couldn't miss out on this opportunity. Plus, the kids practically forced me to come. They wanted to see where Elliott hung out all the time."
"Oh my gosh," I mutter. "You can forget about getting paid tonight!"
"Ivy-"
I don't even listen to his pleads, turning to see Elliott and Flynn trying to cattle the kids. I catch Ethan by his shirt collar and pull him by my side. Flynn has the twins. Elliott twists Jonas' arm while he is in mid-conversation with a girl in a bikini.
We bring the kids over by Addison, who tries to be sneaky with a beer in her hands. Elliott takes the beer from her and throws it at Yogi. It hits his friend in the back, but he doesn't seem to notice.
"You sit at this picnic table and you don't move!" Elliott orders. "If one of you does so much as to even blink, Flynn will pants you!"
"Yeah I will!" Flynn says proudly.
"Is Flynn drunk?" Addison asks after raising her hand.
"I said don't move!" Elliott snaps.
"If Flynn tries to pants me, I will kick him where the sun don't shine," Addison says sassily.
Flynn straightens up. "Okay, she scares me."
"Kids, come with me. I'll drive you home," I say.
"No way! We want to see someone jump!" Crystal argues. "I did not walk through that muddy forest for nothing!"
I sigh heavily. "Well, too bad. We're leaving."
"You can't make us do anything! We'll just go tell our mom about you and Elliott."
"Yeah! Wouldn't want that to happen!"
I frown. I understood Brianna Holden blackmailing me. But the kids? I didn't see that coming, and it doesn't feel good.
"Fine. Tell her. I don't care." I cross my arms over my chest. "Because I quit."
Okay. Am I being dramatic about this whole thing? Sure. But I'll remind you that my mom robbed me of my future and basically all the time I have spent working this summer has went down the drain. Plus, I just called these kids my family. That's a scary thing. I need to get out now, even though there are only so few weeks left before Mrs. Kennedy returns. My attachments are unhealthy.
As I look at Elliott, I can't help but think about whether our relationship is unhealthy or not. Right now, it's looking unhealthy. I'm relying so heavily on this one boy, who was sleeping with a model days before we met. He has become just about everything to me. I don't want to do that to him, not when my future is so faded that I can't even see my hand in front of me right now.
Here I was, so close to finally being unafraid of commitment, to being fearless.
And in a split second I'm more terrified than I've ever been.
I'm not sure if the Kennedy's really believed me when I said that I quit, for they don't react all too appalled. They just kind of sit there, like Flynn did when he found out about Elliott and me dating.
But I meant it. I leave the cliff, no one chasing after me. I didn't really expect them to, since I told Elliott I was just grabbing something from the car. Technically, I wasn't lying to him. I did grab my cell phone to the one person I need to talk to the most right now: my sister.
~~
AN:
okay I know we have to have some reactions to these bombshells
who wants to punch Elliott or Ivy every time one of them doesn't say I love you to the other because same what the heck the author of this story is so annoying like #teamiviott
Ivy quit??? did that make anyone else want to scream? cry? laugh? say "what the heck?" or d) all of the above
BUT CAN I JUST SAY D) ALL OF THE ABOVE TO REACHING A MILLION READS YEET
thank you so so so so much! I love you all and your support couldn't be more appreciated! it is always nerve-wracking to put your work online for everyone to see and the responses I get couldn't be more special and heartwarming. I love writing and I love being able to share it with you wonderful people :)
keep cool my nuggets
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