This chapter starts out with a flashback which will be italicized.
Excuse mistakes. I didn't proof read.
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"This time won't you save me. Baby I can feel myself givin up."- Save Me by Nicki Minaj
⭐Omniscient⭐
"You ain't stupid, Yvette. You're just in love with a man. When you in love with a man, he can make you feel high. So high you just be in outer space. But a man can also make you feel low. Real low. And he can keep you there. Keep you down. If you let him. Don't even worry about feeling used. It's just temporary. Everyone gets used. Men use women, women use men. Just face the fact you're going to be used. But if you feel so used, you ain't got nothing left, if the man ain't giving you the energy you need to love his ass... even when he's acting like a bastard, you need to let it go. If you ain't got nothing to give yourself or your baby... you won't have it to give to him."
Nyla sipped on her can of Sprite, her eye's glued intently to the 60-inch flat screen TV that hung up against the wall. She was sitting comfortably Indian style on the couch besides Anthony. They were watching Baby Boy on Netflix.
After many failed attempts of trying to get her over to his house, Anthony was happy that she was finally able to spend some time with him. He looked over at Nyla, his eye's slowly raking over her body, trying to picture what she looked like without clothes. She wore a t shirt and loose jeans, so it didn't leave much for the imagination.
"I really like this movie. I can't believe I've never seen it before." Nyla shook her head.
"Dats a damn shame. Yo black card is getting revoked, if you ain't neva seen Baby Boy. It's a classic in the Black community." Anthony chuckled lightly, slightly scooting closer to Nyla. He could smell the light perfume she wore. Vanilla scented.
"Leave me alone." Nyla giggled, bringing her knees to her chest. She bit down on her bottom lip, feeling butterflies swirl around in her stomach once her and Anthony's arm's briefly touched.
"Nyla?"
"Y-Yes?" She croaked, looking at him.
"You're beautiful, ya know dat?" Anthony spoke, piercing her heart with his intense gazes.
Nyla shook her head no fervently. "No I'm not." She whispered, looking down, and playing with her finger's. She felt like she didn't come close to the description of the word.
Anthony lifted her chin up, connecting their eye's once again. "You are beautiful. And I mean dat. Don't let anybody tell ya different. Pick ya head up love. Smile."
Before Nyla had a chance to respond, she felt Anthony's plump lips over hers, indulging them into a deep kiss. She immediately gasped at the body contact, since she was caught off guard. She wasn't expecting Anthony to touch her, let alone kiss her. She felt tiny sparks all throughout her body as Anthony kissed her nice and slow.
The two made out for a few minutes, before things started to get real hot and heavy. Nyla was laid on her back, as Anthony hovered over her, sucking and biting on her neck. She moaned out loud, feeling his finger lightly circle her clit, before pulling his hand out of her pants.
"What's wrong? Did I do something wrong?" Anthony frowned, pulling away.
"No it's just that..." Nyla stopped talking, taking a deep breathe. "I've never done anything like this before." She answered truthfully. Nyla was the definition of a true virgin. She had no sexual experience of any kind.
"So you've neva' been fingered before?
"No."
"Not even a lah' head action?"
"No."
"Damn," Anthony muttered, completely shocked. Most of the girl's he knew were "fake" virgin's who shouted that they were clean and pure, when they was receiving or giving other forms of sex. He could see the innocence and purity reflecting off of Nyla's brown orbs.
"I don't want ta do anythang that'll make ya feel uncomfortable. I just wanna make you feel good. I think you'll really like it." Anthony said, pecking her lips over and over again. He snaked his hands back into her pants, gently pulling and rubbing at her pearl.
"Ooh... Oh my god." Nyla hissed, feeling pleasurable sensations she had never felt before. "You like dat?" Anthony chuckled, slowly sticking a finger inside of her.
"Mhmm." She nodded, never opening her eye's. She moved her hips with the pace of his finger's, feeling an intense pressure build up in the pit of her stomach.
"I-I think I have to pee!" Nyla squeaked, feeling herself dripping. "Dats not pee." Anthony chuckled, curling his finger inside of her. "Cum fa me."
Nyla moaned out loudly as she felt the pressure from her stomach, build up until she couldn't hold it in anymore. She released, feeling her orgasm explode throughout her entire body. A pleasurable wave came across her, sending her into complete ecstasy. Her body trembled from the intense sensations, as she felt her breathing slowing down. She had experienced her first orgasm.
From there more clothes came off, till there was nothing left to hold back. Anthony pressed his erect penis which was covered by a condom, against Nyla's entrance, staring directly at her. "Are you sure you want ta do dis?" He asked. Even though this was what he wanted all along, he knew he had to be gentle with Nyla due to her inexperience.
"Yes." Nyla's body and partially her heart was doing the talking at the moment. She was caught up in the heat of the moment of passion, and lust.
Anthony leaned down, kissing her deeply. "It's gonna hurt at first, but I'a promise you, once I'm fully inside, it'll feel good." He whispered.
"OK." Nyla clung to his arm's for dear life. Anthony lined himself up at her entrance, slowly sliding the tip in, causing Nyla to scream and gasp at the same time.
"Oh my." She cried out in a shaky voice, feeling a wave of heat suddenly overcome her.
"Relax. I'm not gonna hurt you." Anthony stated softly.
"Fucking liar!!!" Nyla screamed, shooting up from the bed, panting heavily. She looked around her dark bedroom, touching her forehead which was beaded in sweat. She had just snapped out of bad dream which just so happened to be a flashback of her first time. For the past two day's she'd been having reoccurring flashbacks of her and Anthony that she desperately wished she could delete from her memory. The memories that once made her smile, brought her nothing but pain and misery.
Nyla reached over, turning on her lamp. She grabbed her phone, checking the time. 6:25. Nyla couldn't believe she had slept most of the day away. But whenever she found herself seeping into the black hole of depression, sleeping her life away was a mechanism to cope with the pain. After the events on Thursday with Anthony and her mom, Nyla skipped school the next day because she couldn't bare to see him. Instead, she drove all around Houston from Alief to Fort Bend to Missouri City and other surrounding areas. The time on the rode allowed Nyla to clear her head a bit and think about life. Today was Saturday and instead of reporting to her weekend job at Fashion House, she called in sick. Nyla was not in the mood to deal with demanding customers.
She opened up her messages, seeing she had texts from Gabby, Christian, and Lucas, along with a number of missed call's from Gabby and Lucas. She was supposed to be at the skating rink, having a good time but Nyla ended up not showing. She didn't feel like putting on a mask of happiness, and pretending like she was fine when she felt like shit on the inside.
💖Gab👭: Hey we were supposed to go skating with the guy's today. I haven't talked to u since Thurs. R u okay? Call me when u can. I'm really worried about you.
🔫Christian🔪: Where tf are u, ya lil bigheaded girl?? U stood us up. 😒 that's fake asf. And u not answering your phone😑 nah but real talk you been ghost for like 48 hour's. What's up?
“Ugh I can't stand him.” Nyla chuckled lightly, reading Christian's message. She was surprised at his subliminal concern for her, even though he tried to play it off.
🇫🇷Prince Of France🇫🇷: Hey Nyla. I've been calling you like crazy ever since five. You weren't at school yesterday, so I assumed you wasn't feeling good. We went skating still, but it would've been more fun if you were there❤
A smile transcended across Nyla's full lips reading over Lucas's text. She was amazed at his humble and genuine spirit. It was qualities she least expected a guy like him to have. A yawn escaped her mouth as she stretched, working the sleep out of her body. Nyla was fully awake now.
Vzzzt! Vzzzt!
Nyla picked up her vibrating phone, seeing it was Lucas calling her. She took a deep breath, before answering it.
“Hello?”
“I swear this feeling of relief just washed over me, hearing your voice,” Lucas's deep embroidered voice filled Nyla's ear. “Are you okay?”
“I'm just-”
“Nyla we was worried about yo ass! The hell wrong with you?! Got niggas worrying and shit!!” Christian yelled in the background.
Nyla giggled at his foolishness.
“Calm down man.” Lucas chuckled. “So Nyla what's going on with you? You wasn't at school Friday. You went ghost for skating, and you haven't been answering the phone,” he pointed out.
“I haven't been feeling well.”
“Are you sick? You got a cold or something?”
“No. I'm- it's just that-” Nyla bit her bottom lip, contemplating if she would be upfront with him.
“It's just what?” Lucas pressed. She fiddled with the ends of her T-Shirt. “I've just been really sad. That's all I'll say.” She answered.
The phone was silent for a moment. “You home right now?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Get dressed. I'm about to pick you up. I think a trip to Krispy Kreme would be lit right about now.” Lucas announced. “Krispy Kreme is my shit!” Christian cackled. “They donuts go hard!”
“Thanks Lucas, but no thanks. I don't feel like going anywhere and-”
“Send me your address. I'll see you soon.” Lucas cut her off, before hanging up the phone. He wasn't taking no for an answer.
Nyla inwardly groaned, forcing herself to get up. Even though she wanted to sulk in her feelings, she knew it wouldn't do her any good. Nyla texted Lucas her address. She didn't waste anytime taking a quick shower, and brushing her teeth. Once she was done with her hygiene, she threw on some sweats and a long sleeve shirt to conceal over her scars from cutting a couple days ago.
Nyla was brushing her hair up into a neat bun, when she heard a car honking. She looked out her window to see a shiny red Toyota Camry in front of her townhouse. Lucas stepped out of the car, waving at her.
“Bonjour belle.” Lucas showcased his smile, looking up.
Nyla covered her mouth, to conceal her cheesy grin. She laughed, seeing Christian get out of the car with his shirt tied up, revealing his many tattoos.
“Look who it is.”
“What! Come on!” Christian yelled, holding his arms out.
“Shut the hell up before my parents hear you!” Nyla hissed, knowing her parents were probably downstairs catching up on Stranger Things.
“Hurry up and come down. I'm about to take his hyper ass home anyway.” Lucas jingled his keys as he spoke. Nyla nodded, before closing her window. She grabbed her small messenger bag, making sure it was filled with her essentials, before slowly trudging down the steps. Once she reached the end of the staircase, Nyla was surprised to see her parents nowhere in sight. A smirk formed on her face hearing moans, grunts, and the sounds of the headboard banging coming from their bedroom. She was going to tell her parents she was leaving, but since they were occupied with other thing's, she decided against it.
She shrugged before darting out the house, quietly closing the door.
>>>>
“It’s too late for donuts.” Nyla giggled, sipping her fruit punch, as her and Lucas walked to an empty table. After dropping Christian off at home, they headed straight to the popular donut place. Nyla was happy that she decided to go, because she enjoyed Lucas's company. He made her feel comfortable and was super cool.
“It's never too late for donuts.” Lucas said, as they slipped into a booth. He popped a donut hole into his mouth. “You want one?”
Nyla shook her head no. “I'm fine with this juice. Besides donuts are really fattening.”
Lucas stale faced her. “Aw don't tell me you're one of those girl's?” He chuckled. Nyla furrowed her arched brows at him. “What are you talking about?”
He shrugged. “You know the kind of girl who obsesses over her appearance, and watches every little thing she eats in fear of gaining weight.” He pointed out.
“No I'm not like that. In fact I wish I could gain weight. But no matter how hard I try, I remain the same size.” Nyla grumbled solemnly. All her life she had been skinny. She had small curves, but it seemed like girls who had big butts, small waists, or big breasts got the most attention. Girl's her size were always being overlooked.
“You're fine the way you are.” Lucas replied. “Thanks.” Nyla let out a small smile.
“I feel like all women, should feel comfortable in their own skin. Girl's are so insecure because they obsess over what someone else has, wishing it was theirs, instead of embracing their own features. Seems like everybody wants to look the same these days, instead of realizing that beauty comes in so many shapes, sizes, and colors,” Lucas said.
Nyla just looked at him for a moment, utterly speechless at his last words because they spoke right to her heart. “I like the way you think Lucas. I wish more people thought like you,” she tucked her hair behind her ear.
Lucas zeroed in on her exposed wrist, noticing the cuts that decorated it. Nyla noticed him staring, quickly pulling her sleeve down.
“Are you cutting?” Lucas whispered, grabbing her wrist. “No.” Nyla lied, snatching herself away. She abruptly got up, walking towards the entrance doors, with Lucas right on her tail.
“Nyla! Nyla slow down!” He called after her.
“Take me home please. Just take me home now.” She pleaded with trembling lips. Lucas grabbed her wrist, staring intently at her. “No. I'm not taking you home until you tell me what's going on with you. This isn't okay.” He spoke, pointing to her wrist. “It's not normal, and if you're trying to cope with something, harming yourself isn't the way to do it.” Lucas peered into her brown orbs and saw nothing but a broken, fragile human being. And it made his heart break for her.
Nyla broke down, crying. She was barely shedding tears. After all the crying, she had done the past two days, she felt like she didn't have any left.
A few passerby’s eyed the two strangely. “Shhh, stop crying.” Lucas said guiding Nyla to the car. He got in on the driver side, starting up the engine. The sounds of Nyla sniffling was the only noise being made along with the rumbling of the engine.
Lucas glanced at Nyla, as he drove. “Nyla I know we don't know each other that well, but please don't think I'm trying to be all in your business. I'm only asking about the cutting out of genuine concern. My sister use to cut, and I was really shook when I discovered that. I only want to help. Even if it means having somebody to talk too. Whatever it is, that you're feeling, you can't keep it inside, letting it fester and rot. That kills you on the inside. Just let me help.” He stated softly. "Do you want me to take you home?"
"I don't wanna go home." Nyla grumbled, thinking about how miserable she felt in her own house.
"Where do you wanna go?"
"Anywhere but home. I can't go back to that house." Nyla muttered, barely able to keep her puffy eye's open. She knew her parents would flip once they realized she had left the house without their permission, but she didn't give a flying fuck at the moment.
Lucas gripped the steering wheel, clutching it tightly, as he contemplated. “You can spend the night at my house. Hopefully my Dad doesn't kill me.” He said after a moment, making a right turn on Hwy 6.
>>>>
"Ooh you're bringing girls in the house. I'm telling Dad." Lucas's fifteen year old sister Paige snickered, as him and Nyla walked through the door.
“Where's dad anyway?” Lucas smirked, kicking off his shoes. “He went out for some drinks with friends.” Paige answered, flipping through the channels. She stopped at a channel that was playing reruns of Sister Sister.
“Nyla this is my annoying little sister Paige, and Paige this is my friend Nyla.” Lucas spoke, introducing the two.
“Hi.” Nyla forced a smile, waving. “Hello.” Paige smiled, taking her eye's off the screen briefly.
“Follow me. I'll show you the guest room.” Lucas motioned for Nyla to follow him.
“I'm still telling Dad!!” Paige yelled after them! “Girl bye. I already text him.” Lucas responded. Once they reached a door, Lucas opened the door, revealing a fully furnished bedroom.
“You can sleep in here. I'll get a t shirt for you to sleep in and whatnot.”
“Where's your mom?” Nyla questioned randomly. Lucas looked down at his Jordans chuckling. “She's… Uh serving a six year prison sentence,” he replied.
Nyla’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh I'm sorry to hear that.” She mumbled.
“It's all good. She got a year left.”
Nyla sat down on the twin bed, instantly sinking into the soft cushion. “Thank you for letting me spend the night. I would've cried if I went back home,” she sighed.
"You don't have a good relationship with your parents?"
Nyla shook her head no. "I'm so distant from the both of them. Especially my mom. They pay more attention to their secular careers instead of me. We live in the same house, but lead separate lives." She answered, pulling her shirt over her head, revealing her undershirt.
“Your skin is so pretty.” Lucas commented, mesmerized by the dark melanin glowing off of her.
“Thank you.” Nyla said through tight lips.
Lucas frowned at her tenseness. “You don't believe me huh?”
She rolled her eyes, looking away. “Honestly, I don't see what other people see when they compliment me. I mean you don't know what's it like to be in my shoes. To be a dark skinned female in this society. I have to deal with micro aggressive racism from white people, and colorism from black people. I'm the minority of a minority. It's not fun being in this skin.” She whispered bitterly. Painful memories were beginning to hit her at once.
Lucas sat next to Nyla on the bed. He was now beginning to get a full scope of Nyla's insecurities, and he hated that she didn't feel comfortable in her own skin due to societies idiotic beauty standards, and ruthless bullying. “Your skin is unique, and beautiful. I want you to know that I honestly and genuinely mean that. I know my words won't mean nothing to you, until you believe it yourself, but know that no mistakes were made when you were created. You're fine just the way you are."
Nyla ran her fingers through her hair, gazing intently at the white wall. "You ever had a friend with benefits?" She asked, changing the subject.
"A couple times. But it never worked out because someone always caught feeling's while the other didn't." Lucas responded. "Why you ask me that?"
Nyla inhaled and exhaled deeply. "Well I had a friends with benefits thing going on with a guy, and caught feeling's. He told me he felt the same way, but in the back of my mind, I knew he never wanted me as his. He was only using me, and pretended like he didn't know of my existence in public. I allowed my feelings to overshadow common sense, and make excuses for the treatment, thinking he would come around. Every time I tried to pull away, the sex would draw me back in..." Nyla's voice trailed off as she let out a small laugh. "You probably think I'm stupid huh?"
“No you're not stupid. Sometimes sex makes you hold onto people you should've let go of a long time ago.” Lucas said. “It's easy to get emotionally involved once you share an intimate act together.”
“Well I know that now. Even though it was hard, I'm happy I finally cut Anthony off. He was nothing but a fuckboy,” she mumbled.
Lucas looked taken back. “Are you talking about my friend Anthony? Anthony Jenkins?” He asked, not wanting to assume anything.
Nyla’s shoulders slumped for a brief moment. “Yeah.” She confirmed, not surprised by the shocked look from Lucas that followed.
❤💙💚💛💜❤💙💚