Kat
July 3, 2005
*
Same day
*
"Oh my god! Are you okay?" I look up to see Vanessa a second before her arms wrap around me.
I sigh, breathing in her hair. She knows just how to make me feel better. I should have told her sooner.
She pulls back, looking at my face. "It's gonna be okay, Katie-bug."
I feel the tears forming, as I try to hold them back. They fall anyway.
"How do you know?" I whisper, unable to bring myself to raise my voice any louder.
"I just know it. You guys are meant to be." She gives me a sad smile.
How can she talk about meant to be when she can't even figure out her own love life?
"Like you and Nate?" I roll my eyes, suddenly feeling annoyed.
"Maybe. You never know." She glances around the room as though this is the first time she realized we might not be alone.
"When did you get so... inspirational?" I feel like her weirdness deserves a laugh, but I can't bring myself to make that sound.
She shrugs. "Guess after almost dying, nothing seems like that big of a deal. Either it happens or it doesn't."
I glance over at Ben. "This feels like a pretty big deal, Ness."
"Oh, no!" Her face falls. "I didn't mean this. I just meant Nate... or whatever else my future holds. You know, whoever."
She's terrible at being nonchalant. She obviously wants Nate back, but like always, she's hiding behind a facade. Although, this time she's failing miserably. Or maybe I'm just getting better at reading her.
"Right." I'm not sure how to draw her out from hiding at the moment, so I just let it go. I don't have the energy to deal with their relationship drama at the moment.
"Should I leave?" Her eyes dart around the room again.
"He ran home to shower and get clothes, if that's what you're asking." I normally should smile and tease her for being so obvious, but I'm just not feeling it right now.
"He who?" She fiddles with her bracelet, a sign that she's nervous.
The doorknob clicks, signaling someone is entering the room. Vanessa jumps up, moving to stand next to me. I guess I'm going to protect her?
At the sight of Cole, she sits back down and continues assaulting her poor bracelet. What is going on with her today?
"Hey, have you seen-" Cole walks in, clearly distracted before realizing we aren't alone.
"Oh, hey Vanessa. Good to see you?" He grimaces. "Sorry. That wasn't a question, it is good to see you. You just caught me off guard."
"Hey Kid." Vanessa gives him a quick hug before returning to my side. "It's good to see you too, just wish it were under better circumstances." She looks at Ben, wiping a tear away.
Cole glances over at Ben, but only for a second. "Yeah, me too."
I've noticed he hasn't really looked too long at his brother since he got here. He's probably trying to hold it together since he's the responsible one.
Poor Cole, he shouldn't have to deal with this. Maybe once their parents return he can deal with the emotional aspect of this situation.
The situation that Ben might not make it out of. Oh god. I need to stop thinking like that.
Please let him be okay.
"Any luck?" I shift my attention to Cole, tryinv to direct the conversation to a more productive subject.
Cole clears his throat. "Yeah. My parents are on their way. I was finally able to get a message to them and I just received confirmation of their return flight from the pilot, but I still haven't been able to speak with them."
"You contacted the pilot? You can just do that?" Ness stares at Cole with her mouth hanging open.
"Technically I can contact whoever I want, but they don't have to respond. It does make it easier when he's our pilot though." He wears a smug smile, very similar to Ben's.
Oh god. What if I never see his smirk again? Please let him be okay.
"You own a pilot?" Her eyes are wide in disbelief.
"We don't own him, but he flew my parents to their island on our jet." Wait, what? Island? Jet?
"You own an island? Like, for real?" I have to agree with her, this all sounds like a fairy tale.
"Yes, the Isle of Boëdic." He pronounces it Boy-deek in what sounds like a French accent. "It's not just ours, we share it with the Murphy's. Assuming everything goes well, they should all be back soon."
Cole knows French? I wonder if Ben knows it too. Maybe if he wakes up, I can ask him.
I mean when he wakes up. I need to stop thinking like that.
Please let him be okay.
"Right. Of course." I can tell Vanessa is struggling to grasp this reality as much as I am. We never really knew the extent of their luxury.
"Unfortunately they went out on their yacht, so it was nearly impossible to contact them. I was able to reach our captain while they docked in the Golf du Morbihan." I have no idea what more-BEE-on means, but if I had to guess, I would say his parents are in France.
"Yacht? Island? Jet?" Ness scoffs. "What no rocket for family trips to the moon?"
"Ness." I try to warn her, but she can't be stopped.
"Don't Ness me. Are you hearing this? This isn't normal. How could we date guys who own an island and not know?" And the true issue comes out. This is about Nate breaking her trust, not money or Cole's nonchalant attitude about it.
I try to rationalize with her. "They seemed pretty normal. How could we know?" It's true, both guys seemed like regular college kids.
"Normal? You call this normal?" She gestures in Cole's direction.
"Uhm, excuse me, I'm sitting right here." He waves his hands in front of his face, like that will somehow help us notice him.
"Yeah, yeah. Shut your money hole for a second." She waves him off, while acting high and mighty about an insult that made no sense.
Cole scoffs as he crosses his arms over his chest, pretending to ignore us.
"Ness! You really need to stop with this attitude. Cole didn't do anything to you." I wish I could see inside her head sometimes. I doubt she's as ready to forgive Nate as she might think.
"Kat!" Her eyes are wide, but she's looking past me. She runs to stand next to Ben's bed. "He just moved. I swear, I just saw his finger move!"
"What?" I can't even think straight. What does this mean?
"Should we call someone?" Ness grabs the call button, but Cole stands up making her stop.
"Don't bother. It's just myoclonus." We both give him a dumb look. At least I assume I look as dumb as I feel around him. "Sorry, it's just a muscle jerk. He's pretty heavily sedated. He won't wake until the doctor wants him to."
"Oh." Vanessa returns to her seat next to me. "But that's a good sign, right? Like he still has brain activity going on?"
Cole gives a soft chuckle. "Not exactly. Myoclonus can happen when patients are dying or even after death."
"Ben's dying?" I'm pretty sure he said more, but that's all I heard. I feel the tears swarm my eyes, I try to blink them away, but it's useless.
"Oh no, Kat." At some point he moved, because now he's standing next to me, rubbing my arm. "I didn't mean that. I just meant it's not a good or bad sign. It's not a sign of anything."
"So, we still have no idea?" I can't finish the rest of the sentence.
Please God, let him make it.
"I spoke to Dr. Young and he said the final test results should be in tomorrow morning, but so far everything looks pretty good." He gave me a sad smile, even though it sounds like good news.
"What else?" I just know he's not telling me something.
"Every time they wean him off the coma medicine," he makes air quotes around the term Nate uses, "his brain starts to swell again."
"Then what are they going to do?" My stomach twists into knots, not ready to hear what's next.
"Honestly, it won't be good." Cole sighs. "They may have to operate which is very dangerous, but if they leave him in the coma much longer, he may lose his memory or suffer permanent brain damage."
"So, what's the best case scenario?" Ness rejoins the conversation, clearly trying to add some optimism.
"Best case? His brain heals itself tonight and we can take him off the coma medicine so he can wake up." Again, Cole uses air quotes and I resist the urge to defend Nate in his absence.
"And what's the worst case?" I inwardly kick myself. Why does my curiosity always get the best if me?
"He dies, obviously." Cole eyes flick towards Ben.
"Okay, smarty pants, what's the middle case scenario?" Ness smirks, like she won some battle of the wits.
"Well, for starters, that's not a thing." Cole strokes his chin, as I imagine his brain racing through all the possible scenarios. "I guess waking up without his memory would be somewhere in the middle."
"Why don't you run home, Kat? Maybe clean up and get some sleep in a normal bed?" As nice as that sounds, I know he needs it more.
"You go. I'll stay." Before he can argue, I hold up my hand. "Cole, you've been dealing with crap all day, you need a break. Seriously, I'm not even that tired. Go."
He hesitates, but begins gathering his stuff. "Okay, but call me if anything happens."
"Of course." I give him a half smile. It's the best I can do at the moment.
He leans forward giving me a hug before he walks out the door.
Ness stands up, moving in front of me. "Do you want me to stay?"
"No, I'll be fine." I'm lying, but I know she wants to avoid Nate.
"Okay, but text me." She wraps me in a tight hug, before leaving me alone.
This is the first time I've been alone with Ben since the accident.
I sit next to him, like I did with my mom. I clutch his cold hand as I cry myself to sleep, face down in his blanket.
Please don't forget me Ben.