***Well............... the weather has ruined my plans for the evening, so I figured in the event of something bad, a good opportunity comes! Congratulations folks, you will be granted one chapter before winter break even begins! How exciting- for you. I've come up with a goal- five chapters must be written and published before I return to school in January. Perhaps if I find myself having no life, I can get to ten! I even have this crazy dream that I will finish the series before then- but I seriously doubt that will happen. I would have to post 2 or 3 chapters per day, and writing just ONE takes me a good two hours.... so we'll see. But 5 for SURE! Enjoy :) xoxox***
There was a comfortable silence amongst them, something that had not happened in well over a month. Ever since the Yule Ball, the night after, and the night after that... both had become increasingly tense around the other. That had all changed after their talk, however. They had both gotten back to that relationship beyond a student and teacher, but not great enough for friendship. They were comfortable, and that was all that mattered.
“Did anything interesting happen to you today?” he questioned as his hand flew across the first year exams he was marking. Their relationship may have resumed normally, but the conversation had become a bit less than mundane. She had not turned the page in her book for over thirty minutes, unable to concentrate on such unimportant words.
“Well... detention was quite a riot.” she said dryly, but with a tone of sarcasm. He picked up on it instantly, raising an eyebrow as he glanced up at her. She looked at him from the chair in which she was seated, half-cracking a smile. He was slightly amused by this remark, but not enough to actually laugh about it.
“Yes,” she continued, “Filch would not stop gabbing about the latest professor gossip. You should hear the way he talks about McGonnagall. I think he fancies her.” she was at a full grin now, staring down at the small black print of her novel, still unable to concentrate on the story. Severus was now beginning to laugh at the idea. Argus Filch fancying anybody was a joke within itself. She giggled quietly when she noticed him smiling at his desk as well.
“Although, I am quite afraid she is a bit out of his league.” she laughed, noticing a sudden change in her professor's posture. She knitted her eyebrows together when she saw the troubled look on his face, although he kept his eyes down at the papers.
“Argus Filch is not the only man to fancy a woman he cannot have.” he cleared his throat, unable to muster the courage to look up at her. She looked at the ground.
“Yes...” she mused, taking in a slow and deep breath. There was now another hiatus in their conversation. There were so many things the other wanted to say, but neither of them could think of the right words to say them. Several times Lennox found herself opening her mouth as if to speak, but suddenly closing it as if her next words were going to come out wrong. Although their relationship had gone back to normal, it was still strained in different ways. The fact that they were both tortured with the idea of coexisting with but without eachother was silently driving them mad.
“Have you heard the latest news around the school? Well, I am not quite sure if the students have started this rumor, but it sure has the staff in a wad.” he changed the subject to something completely irrelevant to their love lives.
“I have heard no rumors... but then again, I do not associate myself with rumor-spreading people.” she explained. This made sense to him, so he gave a brief nod in her direction.
“Right... well it seems as though a Polar Bear has been spotted swimming around the Black Lake.” he almost laughed at the thought. It was utterly ridiculous, the thought of a creature that lived so far north being in England of all places.
“Really? Spotted by who?” she looked up at him with a great deal of confusion. He only shrugged slightly, marking a giant red letter on the top of his final test.
“I am not sure where this originated from. But it is a ridiculous thought is it not? Polar Bears live hundreds of miles north of here, what on earth would it be doing swimming in lake near Hogwarts?” he could spit at the absurdity of the situation. She said nothing, only wondering in her mind who would have started such a rumor.
“Does Dumbledore know?” she raised an eyebrow. He scratched the underside of his chin.
“I spoke with him last evening about the matter.”
“And?”
“And he seemed completely serene and very... un-shocked about the whole thing... almost as if he had already known.. but then again, he usually knows everything. Very little surprises Albus Dumbledore these days.” he told the young Slytherin, who was still in mass confusion. She lifted her hand, summoning a small flickering flame from the roaring fire. She began to twirl it around her fingertips, feeling its glowing warmth as it danced around her slender smooth hands. He watched with intense fascination as she did this, noting how attractive her tanned skin looked as the firelight licked every inch of her exposed body. He felt his trousers grow uncomfortably tight as he stared, and decided to look away quickly before it progressed into something he could not handle.
“You know,” she flicked the flame back under the brick mantle, “it is moments like these that make me appreciate you. The second task is growing very near, and yet I feel no anxiety. There is not much you can do to prepare me physically for this, but mentally I feel at ease. I thank you for that Severus.” she flashed him a genuine smile. He glanced into her eyes for the first time in what felt like years, when in reality may have only been a solid twenty-four hours. He attempted to smile back, finding it suddenly very difficult when he realized that he was in desperate need of an ice bath.
“Are you alright?” she quickly picked up on his troubled face.
“I am fine.” he lied through his teeth, which she knew instantly.
“Severus, I was blind long enough to tell when you are lying to me. Keep it to yourself if you must, but just know that you do not fool me.” she lifted her legs from the ground, snuggling up into the chair as she hugged them to her chest.
“I... do not know how to respond to that... I have a small issue that can be tended to later.. if you understand what I am trying to say.” he spoke a bit quieter than before. It took her a few moments to process his subliminal message, finally understanding what he was getting at.
“Oh... well I could-”
“No.”
“But Severus I-”
“No.”
“Will you just let me-?!”
“No. No no no no no... No.” he quickly stood up, turning his back to her, trying to gather as much self control as he possibly could. All he could think about was how long it had been since he had been with a woman, and now one was practically throwing herself at him and he had to refused. What a sick world to live in.
“Severus..” she approached him slowly. He leaned against the wall, one arm holding his body at a foot's distance from the cobblestone. She placed a small hand on his shoulder.
“Severus, I can help you... I realize what you said last night about not having a relationship... but we can do this,” she hugged him from behind, slowly running her hands down his abdomen... lower... and lower...
“No strings attached.” she whispered in his ear. He quickly grabbed her arms, spinning around with the speed of light. He backed her into the bookshelf, hitting it a bit harder than he would have liked to, although she did not wince in pain.
“You daft girl, do you not understand? I do not want 'no strings attached.' I want as many strings as there are in an orchestra! You cannot seem to get it through your head, and it is very insulting! I would not have a dalliance with a woman, making love is meant for those who mean to pursue a relationship. I do have my virtues, have some self respect!” he hissed in an angry tone. She could not believe her ears, everything she was hearing was very unlike the Severus Snape she had come to know. She had not once realized that he was a true gentleman at heart.
“Severus... I-”
“Do not play that game with me Lennocelia Kingsleigh. The wicked seductress that you are, I am surprised I have been able to hold out for this long. It is pure torture, and you are only making it worse. I am trying my best here to do the right thing, and then you stroll along with blueprints to fuck everything up.” he snarled, letting her go finally as he turned to walk to his desk once again. He sat down behind it, crossing his legs and rubbing the bridge of his nose.
“I am sorry.”
“Do not apologize!”
“Well what should I do? One minute I am a seductress, and the next I am a huge fuck up! This is not exactly easy for me Severus, do you think I like ruining your life?!” she countered angrily.
“Ruin my life? Darling you have FAR from ruined my life. Improved is more the word, but I cannot accept the benefits to their full extent.” he shook his head, looking down at his hands.
“Severus... I graduate in little over a year. Can we not try this then? When it would not be against the rules?” she bargained, almost pleading.
“I seriously doubt that.”
“Why?! What is so terrible about us being together after I am no longer your student?!” she interrogated fiercely, a fire growing within her soul.
“I cannot explain it to you now. Please just calm down, you are lucky there is a silencing enchantment placed upon this room.” he informed her.
“I don't give a fuck. Either you care about me or you don't, and right now it is looking like you don't. I am not sure what you are playing at, but your sudden mood changes are giving me whiplash. I will speak with you later Severus.” she exited the room, clearly worked up about the entire conversation. He was persistent to following her to wherever she was going.
“Lennocelia!” he called after her as he jogged to keep up with her fast walking.
“Leave me alone Severus.” she wanted to push him away, but he only kept following swiftly. The two exited the building, and it became apparent after one minute where she was headed. He could see a puffy cloud of steam emerge from his mouth as he breathed heavily.
“Lennox.” he tried again, this time showing more affection by calling her by her common name. She finally stopped by the giant willow tree near the Black Lake, when he had gently grabbed ahold of her arm.
“What? What do you want?” she thrashed her arms, attempting to rid herself of his grip, but it was firm.
“You. I want you.” he pulled her towards him.
“Yeah? Well it doesn't seem that way you bastard!” she was seriously considering kicking. She wanted to escape his grasp by other means than incarcerating him in a large stoney shield.
“Well I do. I really do, Lennocelia please listen to me.” he implored. She began to subside her violent struggling, and finally turned to him. The only light came from the moon, and the reflection from the still water.
“Tell me you love me.” she breathed finally, looking into his charcoal eyes. He felt his heart skip a beat, and he looked down at the ground.
“Lennocelia I... I can't.” he shook his head, his voice beginning to shake once more. She had seen enough of his emotional side to last a lifetime, but now it was making her grow angry.
“See. You can't. You just said it yourself, there is no reason for me to even try! You think you can just-”
“Marry me.” he interrupted her quickly.
“Walk around all the time thinking you can play with my emotions and- wait... what?” she had really hoped her ears had not just deceived her.
“Marry. Me.” he repeated, his words monotone but filled with emotion nonetheless.
“I... what? Are you mad? You told me just yesterday that you could not give me a proper relationship.” she argued.
“First you want me to tell you I love you and now you reject me when I ask for your hand? And you call me confusing.” he half-smiled. She was in pure shock, all she could do was stand with her feet firmly in the snow.
“Wh- when?” she was beginning to grasp the reality of the situation.
“It cannot be soon... it must be after you graduate, perhaps a few years after. I do not want you to be tied down to me, so I only want you to accept if you truly have your heart set on mine. If you are going to change your mind in three or four years, say no now. But I am not asking. Lennocelia Alexis Kingsleigh... Marry me, if you still want to in the future.” he took her hands in his, keeping his face a suitable distance from hers.
“I-I.. yes.”