The songs were incredible.
I spent quite a while up in the attic, searching tirelessly for the old CD player. When I found it, it was bulky and dusty, but I brought it down to my room where it now sat on my dresser.
My favourite was the Led Zeppelin album IV. I lost count of how many times I replayed it.
I never stopped playing the songs. They danced through my house as I slowly memorized the words. Sometimes while I was reading, sometimes as I just lay on the carpet, eyes closed and listening.
Every track reminded me of Jules. Whether it be how I felt about him, who he was, or what he wanted out of life, I could find bits and pieces of him in every song.
The look on his face was so ecstatic when he recognized a tune that I was humming under my breath one evening.
"That's Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds!" Jules practically squealed. Dog the german shepard looked up in alarm from the floor of Jules' room.
I looked over my shoulder– I had been studying the pictures all over his wall. Some were of trees or sunrises or still rivers, others group pictures. One showed everyone standing with Dan, who was blowing out the twelve candles of a birthday cake. The best thing about that picture was how young and innocent Cash appeared, laughing next to Isir, and I couldn't help wondering for the umpteenth time what his first name actually was. My favourite picture, though, was one of Jules where he couldn't have been more than six years old, holding in his arms the smallest puppy you'd ever seen. His eyes were scrunched up and he had on a wide smile, a few teeth missing. The puppy was licking his cheek, and I realized it had to have been Dog.
"It is," I smiled at my boyfriend. "This music is incredible. I can't believe I haven't listened to classic rock until now."
Jules flopped down on the bed and looked up at me. "I can give you more CD's. We literally have hundreds. Hours and hours of the best music you've ever heard."
I crouched in front of him so he was looking at me upside down. "I don't doubt it for a second."
Jules smiled, then his eyes widened. He practically flew to his feet, smacking my head with his in the process. "Woah, head rush." He stumbled. "Ouch. Oh god, are you okay, Saya?"
I laughed, the sharp pain subsiding quickly. I had become used to how quickly Jules existed. I had to run to catch up with him and his way of life. "Yeah, I'm fine. What are you doing, anyway?"
He looked puzzled for a moment, then remembered. "Oh, yeah. I want to take you on an adventure."
I cocked an eyebrow. "Where to?"
Jules held out his hand to me. "You'll just have to trust me."
I grabbed his hand and he helped me to my feet. His skin was warm, like there was a fire burning inside of him that seeped out whenever he touched me.
Jules proceeded to lead me through the house. We passed through the living room where his parents were snuggled on the couch, a blanket draped across their legs, appearing to be watching Spider-Man. "Hey you two," Jules' dad, Joel, said absently.
"Hey dad," Jules called as he brought me up the stairs. I hadn't been through this part of the house before, and we emerged in what appeared to be a large home office. Though with just an ancient computer sitting in one corner, gathering dust, it didn't make much of an office. Mostly the room had books in it, along with five guitars (four acoustic, one electric), an organ piano, a violin, and two ukuleles.
"Woah," I murmured. "Do you play all of these?"
"Some." Jules sat on the floor and pulled one of the acoustic guitars into his lap, its wood a dark and gorgeous brownish red. He strummed a few chords. "I play guitar and piano. Ruby plays piano and ukulele. Mom plays guitar, violin, and piano, and Dad plays everything. Saf sings, though she wishes she could play guitar. The prosthetic gets in the way."
I sat down in front of him. "That's incredible. I just played the recorder in fifth grade."
Jules put down the guitar and reached over to a book shelf, pulling off a recorder that I hadn't noticed before. He brought it to his lips and started to play.
"That too?" I exclaimed. "Do you have to be good at everything?"
Jules laughed and replaced the recorder to the shelf. "I'll teach you something sometime. What do you want to learn?" He gestured to the whole room.
I ran a hand through my hair. "God, I have no idea. Piano, maybe?"
"Of course."
"Is this why you brought me up here, though?" I asked. "To brag about your musical talent?"
Jules waved his hand in the air, getting to his feet and helping me up as well. "Nah. I wanted to show you something else."
I followed him to the window. The sun was setting, the sky turning dark at the edges like a burnt piece of paper. Jules opened the window and a cool summer night breeze washed over us. He hoisted one leg out of the window, spun around and stood, bringing his other foot to the sill, then he pushed himself up and out of sight.
I leaned out the window and looked up: Jules was leaning on a steep piece of roof, holding onto the next level higher, where it was much flatter. "C'mon," he encouraged. "I do this all the time."
I looked at the ground, which was several more meters away than I was comfortable with it being. But when I looked back up at Jules, I felt more confident than ever. I could do this. Cautiously, I placed one foot on the window sill, and, grabbing the wall, I brought the other foot up as well.
Jules' hand grasped my wrist, and he helped pull me up to where he was standing. I clung to his torso, I could feel his heart beating slowly against my chest. I stared down at the ground, and suddenly felt superior to the fall. Jules kissed my forehead and brought me to the flatter part of the roof. "You did great," he remarked as we sat down.
I felt my cheeks flush. "Thanks." Staring out at the sunset, I finally realized why he brought me up here. "Wow," I murmured, "this is beautiful."
"I know," he said, still looking at me.
Together we watched the sun disappear, the sky turning an array of colours. Oranges and reds in the north, purples and pinks in the south, and a deep navy blue at the base of it all.
"Jules?" I asked quietly once the stars were shining overhead, drawing out constellations light years away from us and that moment.
We were laying down now, side by side. I could feel the ridges of the roof under my back and itchy mosquito bites all over my arms and legs, but I stayed perfectly still. Breathing in the night air under a cloudless sky with the person you loved was an opportunity of peace no one could pass up. Or, at least, no one like me.
"Yeah?"
I turned my head to face him, and his grey-blue eyes were already on mine. "Do you ever think about the future?"
Jules blinked. "Not a lot, I try not to think about it too much." He sighed. "Sometimes it's just better to live in the reality of now."
I looked back at the sky, suddenly missing the sun. When Jules said things like that, I couldn't help but be frustrated that I wasn't as profound. It felt like nothing I said could ever have the same kind of meaning he gave to words.
"Why, do you think about it a lot?" he questioned at my silence. I was aware that he knew the answer, but I found it considerate that he still asked.
"I used to," I confessed. "But now, I can't imagine a future after you." I smiled at him, and was happy it was too dark for him to see how red my face had gone. "You're the most right now I've ever had. Does that even make sense?"
Jules grabbed my hand in his, lacing our fingers together. "Yeah. I know what you mean." His face was so close to mine, our noses were touching and I could feel the heat of his breath on my cheeks. "We'll always have our right nows until we have our forevers. And I'm- well, I'm lucky enough to have both."
My heart started racing, it felt like falcons were stirring in my stomach: stretching their wings and getting ready to fly. "Are you saying-?"
Jules kissed me. "I am."
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We were kissing until we heard someone whistle. Loud and sharp, like how you would summon a dog.
"Hey, lovebirds!" Dan's voice rang up from the ground. "C'mon down here! We're having a campfire!"
Jules laughed and crawled to the edge of the roof. "We'll be down in a minute!" he shouted.
"Don't forget the marshmallows!" It was Ruby that time. "I love them more than you!"
"Yeah, yeah! I know you do!" Jules called.
Together, we headed back into the house through the window and down to the kitchen. I sat at the breakfast bar as Jules searched through the cupboards. I glanced into the living room, where his parents were now sound asleep on the couch, with the TV casting a curtain of light over the room.
"I can't remember the last time I had a camp fire," I remarked to Jules.
Jules froze and looked back at me, eyes wide. "You're kidding," he deadpanned.
"I-I'm serious," I stuttered, slightly taken aback. "I've never even roasted a marshmallow."
Jules made a squeaking sound, like I had pained him by saying this, and brought the bag of marshmallows he was now holding to his heart. "You poor, deprived girl."
I chuckled a little as he put the bag on the counter and returned to peering at the cupboards. "I didn't realize you felt so strongly about marshmallows."
"Everyone feels strongly about marshmallows," he insisted, crouching down to another cupboard. "Here they are."
He returned to the counter and set down a box of chocolate bars and one of graham crackers. "What's all this?" I queried.
"If you're going to roast marshmallows for the first time, you're going to do it right. The right way, Saya, is s'mores."
I looked up at him, then back down at the junk food. "I've never even roasted a marshmallow," I repeated under my breath.
Jules scooped the ingredients into his arms and headed for the door. "That's all about to change," he told me, stepping outside. Dog looked up from where he now lay on the carpet and stared out the door, then at me.
I strolled over and held the door open for him. Slowly, he got to his feet and padded his way out to the porch, very gingerly stepping down the stairs.
I peered over to the side yard where a fire was already started, and everyone was sitting around it. Jules was handing out the snacks. Ruby, Rose, Cash and Sapphire were talking. Isir was tending the fire, and Dan and Jack were laughing about something. Dog was already curled up at Ruby's feet.
I bounded down the stairs and over to them, taking a seat next to Sapphire. "Hey Saya," she smiled.
Before I could say anything, Jules spoke up. "Topic of conversation!" he announced, glancing at me. "Saya has never had s'mores."
In that moment, everyone looked at me like I was from another planet. "That is so sad," Jack whispered in astonishment.
"You'll have to get Isir to make one for you," Cash told me. "His s'mores are legendary."
Isir poked at the fire with a stick. "You flatter me," he muttered. "But yeah, I'll make you a s'more Saya."
I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "Thanks."
Within five minutes, I had consumed a snack I could only compare to absolute divinity. "Oh my actual god," I murmured, savouring the taste of the s'more in my mouth.
"What do you think, Saya?" Sapphire asked me from behind her phone. She had been intent on getting this moment recorded.
I wiped my mouth and smiled in her direction. "That was a literal experience. Eleven out of ten would recommend."
"Eleven out of ten?" Rose raised an eyebrow at me jokingly. She was proving to be a really wonderful person, and it was easy to see why Isir was so in love with her.
I laughed. "You heard me."
Ruby chuckled and strummed her ukulele. While Isir was making s'mores, Ruby, Cash, Jack, and Jules went to grab some instruments. Now four guitars and two ukuleles had been handed out around our circle. Cash, Rose, Jules, and Jack with guitars, and Dan and Ruby with the ukuleles.
"Isir," Jules spoke, causing the boy in question to look up. "Isn't your saxophone in the trunk of your car? You should go get it."
Isir smiled, his teeth shining white in the darkness, the light from the fire reflecting off his glasses. "I like the way you think, Amberley," he commented, getting to his feet.
Within a minute he returned, saxophone case in hand. He pulled it out, sleek and golden, and asked what we were going to play.
Everyone had requests, and there were so many great suggestions we decided that we would do each one. Thanks to the CDs Jules had given me, I actually knew all of these songs. We started with Joker by The Steve Miller Band, and worked out way down the list of songs. I was surprised at how well Isir's saxophone and Dan and Ruby's ukuleles harmonized with the guitars. As we sang into the night, sometimes off-key, everything felt warm, and everything felt right. It was like trying on a jacket that had never been yours, and being surprised by how well it fit. As if, somehow, it was always meant for you.
Later on, as we drifted in and out of conversation around the still glowing fire, Dan looked around the group and sighed dramatically. When no one said anything, he sighed again, louder this time.
"What is it, Dan?" Ruby bit, crossing her arms.
"The thing is, my dear friends," Dan explained theatrically, waving his hands around as he always did when he talked, "you are all so in love with each other, and my good friend Cash and I here are so alone. It just isn't fair."
"Oh god. Don't bring me into this, Sanchez," Cash grumbled, shifting in his seat. He had been fidgeting a lot that night, a crystal clear sign of his tobacco withdrawal. He had been doing well ever since he decided to quit smoking, and said he felt good about it mentally, just not physically yet. Regardless, I admired his discipline and determination.
I stared around at our group, and realized that Dan was right: most of the people here were couples. Jules and I, Sapphire and Jack, Isir and Rose. Ruby had a girlfriend, though she wasn't here. That left Dan and Cash as the only single people. Dan always made a big deal about it, even after Ruby hit him with the truth on why she wouldn't date him. Cash, however, always seemed apathetic to the subject, though at this point it was obvious why.
Dan sighed again, resting his chin on his hand. He looked to Cash and bumped his knee with the other boy's. "But I'm so lonely, you're the only one I can relate to."
Cash shot him a warning glare, though it seemed like he was trying not to smile. "I'm pretty sure you want to stop."
Dan leaned closer to him. "Really, Cash? Because I'm pretty sure you wanna make out with me."
There was a chorus of challenging 'Oh's and miscellaneous chuckling in our circle. Cash seemed to have gone completely red, though because I was looking at him mostly through the fire, I couldn't be too sure.
After a moment, Cash shook his head in laughter. "No thanks man. I've kissed a guy before, and as it turns out- it's just not my thing."
"You've kissed a guy?" Rose asked almost immediately, leaning towards Cash's direction. I had realized she did that whenever someone was talking, like she subconsciously wanted to make it clear that you had her full and total attention. Her eyes were also open wide, like a small child waiting to be told their all time favourite bedtime story.
Cash flashed a grin at her. "That's a story for another day."
"Regardless," Dan went on, stretching his arms over his head, "it would be so very helpful if one of you would be kind enough to set me up with someone." He looked to Sapphire and Jack. "I'd rather not go stag to your wedding, guys."
Jules, sitting next to me, laughed a little, and he held my gaze as he spoke; slow and clear. "You'll find someone someday, Dan. And when you do, it'll be more amazing than you could've ever imagined."
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Hey guys, I really hope you enjoyed this chapter!
I promise there is definitely still much more to come :)
So for now, please, vote, comment, and share this story with someone who plays the ukulele!
~Paige