Okay. I just really quickly, before I started this part, wanted to thank all of you so much! I got a lot of excellent feedback from all of you and I REALLY appreciate it! I'm super glad you guys are enjoying my story! :) I hope you guys continue to enjoy! ♡
Izaya POV
After quite a while, I finally managed to calm my breathing and stop my tears. I stayed, cuddled against Celty's stomach for a little longer. It was warm, quiet, and I felt safe. I stayed there enjoying the peace for a moment before slowly sitting up and wiping my tears away.
"I-I'm sorry." I whispered. I realized that I was completely vulnerable in those moments.
"No. No its alright Izaya. We're both always here for you. Right Celty?" Shinra soothed glancing at Celty. Celty nodded her helmet in agreement.
Yeah. We are your friends. You can always count on us. But at the same time I hate seeing you so upset. What happened to you Izaya? Celty typed and then showed me. I hung my head and fiddled with my fingers. Should I tell them what I saw? No. They wouldn't understand unless I explained my entire past, and that wasn't an option. I didn't want to see that sympathetic look. Not again. I didn't want them always pitying me. I wouldn't live like that again.
"I-i just.... had some bad memories resurface is all." I explained. I didn't lie. That was true. But that wasn't the whole truth exactly. I suddenly began to shiver. It wasn't cold in Shinra's house, it was just, the second I said that, terrible memories from my past popped into my head again. Then I heard them again. The voices. The voices swirling, yelling, whispering, always inside my head that I could normally distract myself from. But this time they were louder, more persistent. They must know I can't push them away right now. I'm exausted. But I don't want to hear them anymore! Why can't they just leave me alone!?! Then I heard those screams again. Those blood curdling, heart wrenching, soul crushing screams of agony. I heard them. But I was powerless to help that poor soul stuck in an endless eternity of torturous pain. I squeezed my eyes shut, enveloping in the darkness behind my eyelids. Why couldn't they just shut up! Why do they always talk!? WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HEAR THEM!?
Shinra POV
Seconds after Izaya answered he seemed to space out completely. The lights in his eyes dulled to nearly nonexistent. He just stared out into emptiness. He sat still, unmoving. Completely catatonic. I waved my hand in front of his face, nothing.
"Izaya?" I nervously asked. No response. "Izaya!?" I called again. No response. "Izaya please. You're scaring us!" I called out worriedly. Izaya didn't move. I took out my small flashlight and checked his eyes. He didn't even flinch. And that's when I started to get really worried. "Izaya!? Wake up!!!" I shouted. Celty looked at me. What's wrong Shinra? Will he be okay? You never get upset. Running through her thoughts. I looked at her worriedly. "He's gone catatonic Celty. Unresponsive." I explained, looking back to the frozen Izaya. Suddenly Izaya's hands rose and made fists in his hair. Izaya's breathing became faster and heavier. He closed his eyes as more tears fell down his pale cheeks. I heard him whimper as he curled up into a ball. Izaya began to rock back and forth in the ball. I then heard him whisper something that I couldn't make out.
"Izaya? A-are you okay? I-i didn't understand you." I whispered, very worried about my friend in this state. Izaya didn't answer and only rocked faster. He then began talking again.
"No....no.... just stop. Please....... stop.....i..... can't...... just......i.....silent..... darkness......." Izaya muttered shaking.
"Izaya?" I asked worried. "Y-You're really scaring us. What's going-" I was cut off by Izaya screaming. He screamed and kept screaming.
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Just be quiet! Leave me alone!! GO AWAY!" He yelled out. I was taken aback. How could I leave my friend in this state? I was really worried. Izaya had never done anything like this before. After what seemed like forever, Izaya stopped screaming and stopped rocking. Izaya then opened his eyes and took a deep shaky breath. The light returned to his eyes and he looked between me and Celty.
"W-what? W-why are you l-looking at me like t-that?" Izaya asked confused.
"Are you okay?" I asked terrified.
"Y-yeah I t-think so. W-why?" Izaya asked looking at me.
"You were screaming.... rocking..... you were telling us to shut up and go away." I explained confused.
"Oh...... so you saw what I was doing inside my head. That's weird. It's never happened before." Izaya stated slowly unraveling from the ball he was in.
"What do you mean? Inside your head?" I asked.
"There are voices Shinra. You may not believe me, or think I'm insane. Which you know......i might be. There are so many voices. Always talking. Always yelling. Always screaming. I can't stop it. Instead, I distract myself. But.....i was scared. So they took the opportunity to torment me. It's never happened when I was around others before. But...... now..... they're stronger. I wasn't telling you to shut up and go away, I was telling those voices." Izaya explained afraid. I stared at him for a little.
"You...... hear voices?" I asked carefully.
"Yes. I can't exactly make out what they are saying though, because there are so many voices all saying different things. I can't just hear one and they all won't shut up for even one second." Izaya explained running a hand through his raven black hair. "It's been happening all my life." Celty suddenly leaned forward and took Izaya into a warm hug. Izaya sighed and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm just so tired. So tired of hearing them. So tired of not being able to help." He whispered closing his eyes. I heard his breathing even out and I knew he had fallen asleep. I sighed in relief. Izaya would be alright. But what on earth was he going through? He seemed so frightened by those voices. I wished I could understand fully what he was going through. I wanted to help. But how?
Shizuo POV
I sighed and put my head down against the desk. I hadn't found anything on Izaya at all, and I had been looking for three HOURS. That stupid flea sure knew how to cover up stuff he didn't want others to find. I slowly sat up and realized where the flea must have run off to. Good god I'm an idiot! I yelled inside my head. He must've gone to Shinra's apartment. I stood and grabbed a jacket. I quickly swung it on and jogged out the door on my way to Shinra's apartment. Once I finally arrived, I heard screaming from inside the home. I crept over to the window and saw Izaya rocking back and forth in a ball. I watched this entire scene play out and eventually Izaya calmed back down. He talked about..... voices? In his head? A couple of minutes after Celty hugged him, the little flea fell asleep and I crept back to the front door. I wouldn't tell anyone what I saw. Quite honestly, seeing Izaya like that worried me. But I shouldn't care what happened to that flea! I paced in front of the door contemplating whether or not to knock. Eventually I knew that I had to see if that damn flea was alright. I mean, I'm the only one allowed to kill him. I knocked on the door trying my best to be light. Shinra opened the door slightly and peeked out.
"Oh. Ahem. SHIZUO. *cough* what are you doing here?" He asked. Obviously trying to warn Celty that I was here and to hide Izaya. I sighed in frustration.
"Shinra. I know Izaya is in there. And for once in both of our lives I'm not here to kill him." I stated.
"Your..... not here to kill Izaya?" Shinra asked cautiously.
"Yeah. You heard me. This is a one time thing I'll have you know." I muttered toughly.
"Y-Yeah of course....... do you promise?" Shinra asked again.
"Ugh. Yes. I won't hurt the damn flea until he's better." I promised. Shinra nodded in agreement and opened up the door for me to come through. I walked into his apartment and stared at the sight in front of me. Izaya was sleeping..... with tear streaks down his porcelain cheeks. I glanced at Celty before staring back at the peacefully sleeping Izaya. He truly looked so peaceful. I slowly walked over to beside the couch. I pulled up a chair and sat down beside Izaya.
"Will he be alright?" I whispered to Shinra, who had sat back down on the couch.
"I believe so. He just seemed..... exausted is all." Shinra lied. I then remembered that they didn't know that I saw what Izaya had done before passing out. I looked down at Izaya. I suddenly had the strange urge to hug the flea. It didn't make any sense. I hated him! But..... he just looked so helpless and fragile. But..... wouldn't that mean he would be easier to crush? But then again, why was comforting him my first thought and not crushing him in his delicate state? What the hell was wrong with me? I stared at Izaya's sleeping face. I lightly pet Izaya's raven black hair. I then jumped back and stood by Shinra's front door. Why the hell did I just do that!?!? I glanced at Celty and then Shinra. Shinra was looking at me with a very confused look on his face. I sighed and shook my head.
"I-i gotta go. I'll see you guys later...... make sure Izaya's okay for me alright?" I told them. I smacked myself inside my head. What was I saying!? Make sure Izaya is okay FOR ME!? Why did I care!? Ugh! I was so confused. I shook my head in frustration and marched out the door, closing it behind me. I walked through the streets of Ikebukuro, confusion filling my thoughts. What had happened to me back at Shinra's apartment. Something very strange. And that wasn't all....I felt guilt for being a part of something that made the flea cry. Seeing those tears stung. And I couldn't figure out why. I ran my hands through my shaggy blonde hair and walked home. I threw off my jacket and collapsed onto my bed. I was done with all of this confusion for the day. I closed my eyes and allowed sleep to take over. I fell into darkness as dreams began to dance in my vision.
I hope you enjoyed this part. In this I tried to give you an view on what Izaya goes through inside his head. I'm super sorry that this took a while, I had some school that's been kicking my but lately. Lol. But again, thanks so much for all of your amazing feedback and I hope to receive more from you guys! I loves you all so SO much and I'll try to update again soon. ♡ Bye! \>~</