~ Chapter 21: The Real Question Is... ~
[ Justin’s POV: ]
I felt as if I were frozen, unable to move from my position on the floor where I had fallen. Jackie crossed her arms and hugged herself for comfort, beginning to look out at the window in order to avoid looking at me.
“I’m s-sorry, Jackie,” I mumbled. The air was excruciatingly still and it was hard to utter even a single word out in the open. “I’m so sorry… I should’ve… I shouldn’t have… I-I’m so sorry.”
“There’s a lesson you need to learn from all this,” her tone was dark enough to just kill me right then and there.
I looked up at her, tears continuing to slip from my face and down my cheeks. I twitched from the pain my hand was giving me, but the pain in my heart was so much stronger.
“I was the only one who was only interested in your well being,” she muttered. “I’m sure Alicia is a very nice girl and, yeah, I’m a fan of her music but she seems to handle fame much more differently than you do, Justin. Which means it would only be a matter of time before she completely breaks you. Then your heart will need mending and guess who’s going to be there to fix you back up?”
“You…” I whispered, surprising even myself when I said it.
“The real question now is… Are you up for it? Are you up for you and I to try and work it out? Are you over her? Are you sure Alicia’s the one you need because I know you want her, at least in some way,” she spoke softly now and sighed before looking straight at me. “Answer me all of this right now—at this very moment—and I swear to you I’ll do what you decide. If you pick Alicia, I get it, but you shouldn’t have led me on and made me think I actually had a chance. If you pick her, I’ll leave you alone and you’ll never hear about me ever again. You won’t have anyone pushing you towards me to make me feel better. No, I don’t need that. What I need for me to stay is… I need you to just tell me you want me but you have to mean it. I know you claimed to care about me, saying that by us not being together, I’m safer from the media and crap like that. I told you that I don’t care about those people. I only care about you.”
Shivers were sent down my spine and I swallowed hard, wiping my tears with my right hand and sniffling. Putting all the strength I could muster to my feet, I stood back up and regained my composure before stepping closer towards Jackie.
“I want to try…” I whispered, holding out my hand for her to take it. She gazed down at my free hand and just stared at it. Once I knew she wasn’t going to take it, I grabbed hers instead and pulled her closer towards me. Brushing her hair back, I revealed her perfect, soft skin and I began to lean slowly, my eyes locked on her lips. Just as our lips were millimeters apart, Jackie pushed both her hands to my chest and shoved me away.
“You want to try what?” she seethed, the anger she’s been keeping for me for the past few days slowly triggering throughout her.
“Being with you… I want to try it out—you and I. And see how it all goes,” I managed to smile, even though my face was stained with dry tears. Jackie stared at me, watching my every move as I attempted to approach her one more time. I wrapped one arm around her waist and locked gazes with her.
Her stunning, green eyes shone out at me like they always did, causing my heart to flutter and I suddenly got a warm feeling inside, something that never happens when I look at Alicia. Confusion surfaced inside of me and something about the thought of being with Jackie just felt… right.
“I need you,” I said softly, afraid that if I raised my voice, she would break.
Jackie’s eyes glistened with tears and, all of a sudden, a huge smile broke out on her face.
“That’s all I wanted to hear from you,” she whispered, just as two tears escaped from her eye sockets. She then grabbed my shirt with a handful and pulled me even closer towards her, crashing her lips into mine and kissing me slowly. I couldn’t control the moan that escaped my mouth as I realized that kissing Jackie was the only time I ever felt safe, alive and happy… all at the same time.
As I began to deepen the kiss, Jackie released her grip on my shirt and traveled her hand to my free one, grabbing it promptly. I let out a sharp breath and instantly pulled away, feeling pain rush throughout my hand.
“Oh my god,” Jackie gasped, just now noticing the blood on my hand. “How did you—”
“—It’s okay,” I breathed in. “I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. That looks like it hurts.”
“I’m fine, Jackie,” I smiled at her, and she looked back at me with incredulous eyes.
“Did you… break my window with your hand?!” she almost yelled.
“I’ll pay to fix it, I promise. I just had to get to you one way or another,” I said.
“Justin! I thought that a freaking burglar busted in! That’s why I had mixed feelings when I first saw your face. I was relieved you weren’t some criminal lurking around but, at the same time, you were the cause of the small depression I fell into,” her voice lowered, a tint of sadness in her tone, causing my heart to break.
“No, I’m not letting this happen ever again. I’ll be honest with you, I promise. Just don’t give up on me yet. Don’t… Please,” I was at the verge of tears again. The thought of Jackie leaving me somehow frightened me, and I couldn’t quite understand it.
Jackie was silent for a moment before she nodded. “Don’t count on me leaving that easily,” she winked, grabbing the hand that wasn’t injured and leading me out to the hallway.
“Where are we going?” I asked, following as she took me to what seemed like her parents’ bedroom.
“Mom and Dad keep a first aid kit around here somewhere. I can’t just let you walk around with that hand bleeding everywhere.”
She released my hand and leaned down to look under the bed before pulling out a box that said First Aid Kit. She opened it and took out a few things before signaling for me to follow her to the bathroom.
“Aren’t you still with Alicia?” Jackie spoke quietly while letting water run on the sink as she put on gloves.
She took my hand and applied a little bit of pressure with her thumb before dipping it to the water. I inhaled a sharp breath, the pain shooting up and down my arm.
“I tried to break up with her when I spoke to her on the phone before I drove all the way here but I guess I just couldn’t do it. I felt guilty and… I was thinking that when I get here, you’d tell me you hate me and then I’d have no one,” my voice was small, scared to speak any louder.
Jackie removed my hand from under the sink and applied a small towel to dry it. “I could never hate you, Justin,” she looked up at me. “I want to make that very clear to you.” A small smile formed at the corner of my lips as Jackie removed the towel. “This is going to sting a little bit.”
She sprayed my hand with antiseptic and I seethed air in, trying hard not to yelp out in pain. After she was done spraying, she opened a pack of bandaids and placed a huge one across my hand, where the cut was made.
“All better?” she asked, looking up at me innocently, her eyes taking my breath away.
“All better,” I confirmed, nodding my head. “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it,” she shrugged before leaning back. “So what now?”
“How about you start by opening up the door and letting Robin in? She’s been an amazing friend trying to get you out of your room, except you refused every time.”
“Robin? She’s outside right now?” she asked in shock.
“Has been for a while now, even before I got here,” I nodded. Jackie gasped and took my un-injured hand before pulling me downstairs with her and all the way towards the front door. She began to unlock it and then swiftly pulled it open.
“Robin?” she called out to her empty front yard. We stood still for a moment and, suddenly, there were footsteps coming from around the house.
“Jackie?!” Robin’s voice shook, instantly telling us she had been crying.
“Oh my god!” tears also surfaced Jackie’s eyes as she ran towards her best friend, attacking her with a huge hug. “I’m so sorry I ignored you, I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“I know you weren’t,” Robin’s smile was enough to fool anyone she had just won the lottery. “It’s okay, as long as you’re fine now.”
Jackie squeezed her tighter but Robin just returned the hug happily. Since the back of Jackie was facing me, I could see Robin’s face perfectly and she looked up at me, her smile widening.
Thank you, she mouthed, a tear slipping from her eyes. I scratched the back of my head and blushed.
You’re welcome, I mouthed back, giving her a subtle thumbs up.
As I continued to admire the two best friends catching up with days missed, I couldn’t help but have a great feeling in my heart that things are going to get better.
But there was always that small part inside of me that I created over the years. The small part of me that told me things are never going to get better for me…
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Hey guys!
It’s been a busy week and I was completely unavailable to update yesterday so I’m quickly posting the new chapter now. I have to get ready for a birthday party anyways (it never ends!!!) but I’ll see you guys next week with another chapter.
What did you think? Justin and Jackie might work it out but there’s still someone in the way… Hmm….
- Nina xx