When I wake up I am dizzy as fuck. I can't see anything, but I know something is terribly wrong. Like a bad dream, unreal somehow and there's a slight panic, telling me I need help. That I'm in serious danger. I try to move but nothing seems to work. There's a strong smell of wet asphalt and a intensive metallic hint.
Warm and cold, pulsing shudders are washing over me. I try to move my hand, but my arm is so heavy. The ground under me is cold but I feel a spreading warmth from my shoulder down to my elbow and slowly further. It's a sticky, wet warmth. Am I high? I am tired. I'm so, so tired, slowly sinking into a welcomed darkness of numbness.
Whispered, soft voices from all around me. From far away. I want them to shut up. Let me sleep...just let me sleep...
'Slash...Slash...'
No...
'Don't...Slash...Open...'
Leave me alone. So tired. I'm drifting.
'Slash...stay...stay...'- "Stay awake Slash! Fuckin'stay awake!!!"
Bang.
I think I'm screaming.
The lights are on and suddenly it's crashing down on me from all sides. Sound, images- it's so loud! The dark night sky, neon lights, cars, people and pain. So much pain it's not bearable, making me sick.
"Yes! Don't close your eyes! Oh my fuckin' god, stay with me! Fuck, fuck...oh god...look at me, c'mon look at me! Slash!"
My view clears and suddenly there's Axl face. His hair wet from rain, his eyes wide and shocked.
"Yes. Yes, like that. Can you hear me?"
I want to answer, but it seems like I lost my voice. Maybe I'm nodding, cause his face relaxes, even just a little bit. His hands are at my head, holding my neck up and when he rubs his face in a short, agonized movement with one hand I can see red, crusty fingers. Is it blood?
"A-re you...hurt...?" My voice is so weak I can barely hear it by myself, but Axl seems to, as he looks at me, surprised, then closes and opens his eyes heavily for a few times, blinking tears away, his lips pressed together to a thin, white line.
"No...no...I'm ok...you...Oh shit...just keep on talking ok? Stay awake."
The realization is slowly, painfully slowly dripping into my head and I turn my face slightly to the side, facing that wet warmth on my arm. I'm covered in blood. My shirt is totally ripped, sticky, light red liquid pouring from my shoulder into the cloth and on my hands, mixing up with rain water on the ground. I let out a low whine, realizing the pain once again, but Axl takes my head in both hands again, making me face him.
"Look at me. Just look at me. They'll be here soon, ok?"
He's stroking my hair, tears running down his whole face now, but I barely recognize anything, the pain growing so strong its knocking me out, pushing me into unconsciousness again.
"No! No, no, no! Stay awake!"
My view is dark again.
"Fuck! Help him! Help him motherfuckin' assholes!!!"
There are more hands at my body, voices I can't recognize and I can hear Axl whining out in what sounds like fear and despair and pain- then everything is blacking out.
---
Where am I?
I can't move. I can't open my eyes.
It's quiet.
So, so quiet, but there's much light, creating a dim orange curtain under my closed eyes.
"Hey...hey...sleep ok? Don't move...don't try to open your eyes...just sleep..."
"W-where am...I?"
"It doesn't matter. Just sleep."
"Axl?"
"Yes...yes it's me..."
There's panic coming up, causing me to start shuddering. "Don't...go..."
"No. No, I'm all here...sleep..."
I clear my throat, a little more strength suddenly washing over me. "I don't wanna...sleep...asshole..."
I hear him chuckling and slowly open my swollen, sticky eyes, feeling something out of plastic under my nose and seeing his face above me. I grab for the plastic stuff to remove it from my face, but Axl slaps my hand away.
"Hey!", but it sounds weak.
"You can't just throw that away, you dickhead."
"What?"
"You can't throw that away. You're in a hospital."
But I don't feel pain. I don't even feel much of my body at all.
"Why? I feel awesome..."
"Yes and that's because you're on morphine..."
"Oh, cool..."
"Not cool! What the fuck?!"
"Well, it feels like heroin..."
"It does?"
"Yeah..."
"Oh...well, then it's probably cool."
"You hate it when I do heroin..."
"Well, to be honest I am just happy you can still do anything at all..."
"Hm?"
"I was afraid you were go going to die." His face is so serious now, I can't help but believe him immediately.
"What happened? I don't remember anything..."
"We talk about that later, ok? I think you shouldn't talk that much at all."
But suddenly I jerk with the realization what is most important. I sit up, almost falling from the bed and there's a slight pain even through the drugs as I stare directly into Axls bewildered face, before throwing both arms in the air. "My fingers! Fuck! My fingers! Are- "
"Damn! Calm down!", he presses me to my back again, "they are alright."
I am moving them around, the panic still deep in my guts, even when I am able to move them all, although my right arm is bandaged. "Shit...shit...goddammit..."
"It's a very deep flesh wound on your shoulder and five broken rips, lots of bruises. No injuries on your hands. You can play as amazing as always."
I can't suppress a slightly smutty grin. "You consider my guitar abilities as amazing?"
He snarls, crosses his arms, but I see the amusement. "No ego trips, Slasher."
I feel better now, but I'm exhausted, sleepy and dammit I feel like cuddling. "Come 'ere...", I slur and Axl carefully leans in a bit. I lay the not bandaged arm to his neck, trying to push him nearer and he moves from his chair right beside me on the bed, his head resting on my chest, sighing and nuzzling my neck.
"Will you tell me what happened?", I whispers and he nods after a while.
"You've been hit by a car...do you remember anything?"
"I remember leaving the Rainbow. I remember being totally drunk. I remember a very hot blowjo-"
"Slash!"
I laugh, then cough, cause' it hurts.
"I remember we wanted to go home. Next thing is pain and blood and your agonized face."
"Shit I was scared to death...you puked heavily and damn, you were stumbling like fuck. I crossed the street, annoyed of you being wasted, saying 'Hey, asshole! Move your fat, drunken ass!' and you cursed back, giving me the finger, then suddenly it happened. I didn't even really saw it. Suddenly you were on the ground and that car in front of you...people running over and much, much blood...you passed out immediately and fuck, I thought you were going to die, so I screamed at you, trying to keep you awake. After ages emergency and police cars arrived and well...I insulted them all, shouting around, calling them cocksucker and stuff, cause' the needed so long, so they arrested me-"
"Oh damn, Axl!"
"In the end they really let me go again, cause' well, I just did it, cause' I was in fear- and I was right!- and I came here."
"For how long am I in here?"
"Just one day and a half."
"Oh fuck..."
"What?"
"I missed a show, did I?"
"Don't worry about it."
"Ok..."
I can't smell him properly with all the shit in my face, but his calm breath and his weight on my body are calming me much.
"I was fuckin' afraid, man..."
"I know..."
"Don't walk over full streets when you're totally fucked up, you dick."
"I thought you wanted me to 'move my fat, drunken ass'..."
"Oh shut up!"
I manage to press a kiss to his head, but he moves again, giving me a real one. Soft, but long and sweet, until I can't breath properly anymore. His hand is at my cheek then, but his gaze is unsteady, so very Axl like sliding from me to the bed and back again. "Was afraid to loose you..."
I smile, cause' he's blushing.
"Don't you consider that whole situation here as 'gay shit'?"
"Oh fuck the 'gay shit'!"
"Really?"
He sits up then, but just slightly to point a finger at me, his eyes slightly narrowed. "Don't take it too seriously! I'm going to kill you if you buy me flowers or shit like that!"
"I never bought flowers for someone in my whole life..."
"Good."
Another kiss, a deeper one, but just as tender, then lays his head down again.
"Ax?"
"Hm?"
"What does that mean now? You're complicated..."
"You know well what it means, idiot."
"Do I?" I am chuckling slightly. "Are we-"
"Don't! Don't ask that stupid question. Don't say it. Don't tell anyone. Don't- and that's most important- don't do anything in public!"
I should maybe be offended by his tone, but I'm just not. When there are suddenly voices in front of the door and Axl quickly jumps from the bed and back into his chair right before a doctor appears, I give him a wide, affection loaded smile and the way he responds it tells me he meant what he said.
I