twenty three
TO BE OR NOT TO BE was not the question I was asking myself at the moment. I didn't know if had a myself anymore.
I felt wobbly, like existence was something I didn't belong in anymore. Everything just ... passed through me. Something hurt, ached within me, and I couldn't twist my head to see what it was, because I simply didn't have one anymore.
My body had vanished, and the only thing I felt was the low, content humming of my powers. They, if I could refer to them that way, seemed to be waiting in anticipation for something to happen.
But the worst part was the silence. The overpowering silence. It was so overbearing I found myself wishing for something to listen to, even if was just my heartbeat (which I couldn't hear, by the record.)
And like I had snapped my fingers, a clear, vivid blue path appeared in front of me. The darkness had birthed a glowing path, built out of the same neon blue of my powers, and I swayed when I looked at it.
I swayed. I moved my hands, and saw only darkness, but then a glimmer of a limb. Whatever form I was in - it would have to do.
I took the path, completely lost. My sense of direction was lost. Everything seemed to be lost.
The glowing path seemed to go in a straight line, until I spotted a sudden stop in front of me. It had just ended, abruptly. I looked down, and jumped away from the void when I saw it had curved, and ran in a straight line toward that darkness.
If the body I was in had a heart, I'd have fallen into a heap of cardiac arrest by now. Never had I felt so afraid.
And it was odd to refer to myself that way. The strong, villainous Nightspark. The vulnerable, unapproachable Rae. Somehow, they'd mixed. And what emerged - I wasn't sure if I liked it yet.
But I had no other choice than to play the cards I'd been given. Turning around, I looked for the way back, but the path had vanished, and so did my hope.
I remained standing on a small, rectangular piece of that glowing blue, so bright it hurt. So I steeled myself, and wished I could've clenched my fists so hard my nails dug into them, feeling anything but this silence, this emptiness.
Placing my foot beyond the boundaries of the path, I pitched forward, and fell into oblivion.
≠
There was a girl arguing with her boyfriend just outside a grocery store, her gesturing wildly, then she slapped him, oblivious to the security camera. A boy was crying helplessly over the screen of his phone, heartbreaking news just delivered to him by text.
Meanwhile, there was a game of soccer being played in a small stadium. Dozens of phones were recording the game, and cheers rose when a player clad in bright blue scored a neat goal. A professor sat hunched over his laptop, shaking his head at the essay one of his students had written. The webcam on his laptop flickered to life, unnoticed by him as he adjusted the glasses on his nose.
The scene changed, and again. Soon, I was not able to grasp them for moments, or scenes. They'd turned abstract, and somehow I could still see the girl arguing, the boy crying. The cheering crowd, the disappointed professor.
Somehow, I saw them, and I reached out -
The professor's laptop sputtered, the screen blinking furiously. The boy's phone began ringing. A security camera went up in flames, and I lost sight of the fighting couple.
Shocked, I retracted my hand, but it wasn't a hand more than it was the sense of one. Everything was just senses. Pure, unadulterated senses battered against my conscience, and for a moment the world tilted on its axis, and all the scenes stopped.
And as they did, my conscience came back in full force, and so did the scenes, overloading me. I hadn't the slightest clue as to what was going on, yet I had developed a bone-deep exhaustion. Warning bells were ringing in my head at falling unconscious in whatever state I had ended up in, so I pulled myself together, reigning in my fleeting thoughts, forcing some energy into me.
I tried to focus, and gradually, it worked, and the exhaustion dimmed. I focused on watching just one scene, trying not to mess up the tech in it. I saw the professor tabbing out of the essay, choosing to watch a live-streaming speech instead. There was a man behind a podium, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. I just saw his lips moving, as if the screen was right in front of me.
The feel of the whole laptop was like an object out of reach. I tried to move closer to it, but it didn't work.
I needed to know if this worked, otherwise -
Well, a supervillain killed by her own powers didn't sound like too bad of a first-page header.
So I sharpened my mind again, and this time I imagined a leash, the same bright blue as the power lines. I imagined it anchoring to the pulsing energy that was the laptop, and I pulled it closer, until I nearly cradled the feel of it. Sound returned to me, and I listened to the speech, listened to the man speaking as realisation dawned.
I had done that. The mayor had been completely right, completely spot on. I released the control I had of the computer and drifted away, lost in the sensations of the electronic devices in an entire city.
It overwhelmed me, but if I had gotten here in the first place - I could get out. I refused to be belittled by my own goddamn set of powers. I had lived through too much to be lost now, to waste the life I'd fought so hard to maintain.
Something like pride kicked in. Something like determination renewed me, and I let myself drift among the sensations awhile. If too much power had brought me here -
Too much power could bring me back. So I searched for an outlet that would provide me with it, not casting a thought to the mobile devices, or the skyscrapers. No, I needed something far greater. Far stronger.
Pushing the overwhelming senses away was tiring, and I found myself being overwhelmed once again, the pressure of the gadgets replaced by pain, and I felt as if someone had grabbed me limb by limb and pulled in separate directions.
My vision of the scenes flickered, and something like a gasp escaped me, the energy knocked out of me.
No. You don't get to do this.
And it was in that moment the words reached her.
"It's odd - I never realized to which extent she could ... could harm."
They didn't come in a straight sentence, but my mother's voice, my mother's words reached me like a punch, and somehow ...
It set off a train of thoughts in my mind. It didn't matter if I had a reason to live, to fight when I got back to the normal world - if only it would be to restore my mother's faith in me. I couldn't bother less with her antics, with our tangled family and with our problems - but leaving this world like this, with my mother only seeing me as a ... as a weapon?
I continued flicking away the irrelevant scenes, the whirring of coffee machines reaching me, TV remotes being clicked, even escalators. Every electron rushed through me before reaching its destination, and I picked through them, until I felt that pull that'd dragged me here.
And I followed it, tracing a thin blue line, reaching what seemed like a - a power station.
Using the leash that'd worked before, I hooked myself to the power station. It was large, I thought, the exhilarating rush of electricity coursing through me. Immediately, my senses felt alive again, and whatever exhaustion I had faded away.
Focus. Focus.
Focusfocusfocusfocus-
The allure of the power pulled me in one direction, while I worked hard to get in the other.
I anchored my essence into it, chained myself to that rush of intense energy, and gradually the other scenes faded.
Then it rippled. The stream of power rippled, and for a moment my grip loosened because of it, and I slipped away again.
NO.
Catching it again, I tugged it toward me this time, embedded it into my form. And the world went black and white as Dynamo City lost all of its power, and a gate-shaped beat of vibrant blue energy appeared before me. The small stream I harbored, the tug I'd felt, it now lead me here. I followed it, stumbling through that gate - and straight into a toolshed.
≠
I wept with relief. I'd always prided myself on having a sharp mind and a steel-edged heart, but for once, I succumbed to relief, to the sweet, sweet joy of feeling dusty concrete brush against my fingertips, of the damp smell of this place. I revelled in seeing the tools lined against the wall, the dark space silent despite my sniffles.
Never before had I allowed myself to break to this extent. And it was the knowledge of what I could do to myself - that really unnerved me for what I could do to others. My gift had, from the beginning, been a great one. Still was.
But it'd never been so heavy on my shoulders.
Stop it. Get up. You need to get out of here, my common sense told me, and luckily, the logical part of my brain remained intact, so I followed my own instructions, gingerly getting to my feet.
There was a mirror leaned against the wall, I realized. My vibrant, blue eyes shone back at me, as did the white hair I donned as Nightspark. I wore a shredded, burnt version of the clothes I'd 'disappeared' in.
With shaking hands, I brushed my hair back, leaning closer. The color, the intensity of my eyes - it frightened me, especially at the way they seemed to be sparking, nearly pulsing with energy.
I closed my eyes for a beat, drawing a deep breath. Getting myself together was priority number two. Getting myself out of here -
Using the power lines would be the safest route, as it was how I usually traveled, but now that they were down, I could just set fire to miles of power lines throughout the entire city.
Somehow, a part of me disagreed with that. So I settled for mumbling encouragements under my breath as I treaded over to the door, letting my hand close around the rusty doorknob. The feeling was welcome to me, who up until recently hadn't even had hands.
Inhaling deeply once again, I pushed it down, then pulled it my way.
Sunlight hit me when I stepped outside. Shy, late morning sun, hiding behind a pair of thick, bulging clouds. The sharp scent of fresh air stung my nose, and I welcome it, closing the door behind me. The power station was abandoned, to my great relief, as I spied the various lines of high metal constructions.
However, it seemed I had not watched close enough, for I recoiled in horror when one of the metal constructions began bending.
My heart skittered into my throat, and my throat dried.
Come on. You're Nightspark. You're Nightspark. Nightspark would take a stand.
And so would I.
I squared my shoulders, sweeping the area once again with my eyes. I caught nothing, besides the awful noise of the metal complaining at the forced action of being forced to bend.
"Just come on out already, you pussy. Are you too scared to face me?" I shouted, fists clenching as they shone with that lovely, vibrant blue I'd gotten to know so well.
"Long time no see, Nightspark." A voice sneered back, and I stepped forward, tilting my chin a bit higher.
I was brimming with energy, and now eager to release it. Preferably upon my metal-bending stalker.
"Just how I prefer it." I responded coolly, watching the way the energy slithered over my body in that calm blue light, "Wouldn't you say?"
"Definitely not. You left in quite a hurry, you see." It mocked me, and I forced a smile on my lips, knowing whatever it was, it had me in plain sight.
"And how would you know?" I asked, taking another step.
"I'm not stupid enough to fall into cold talk with you." It sneered, and I smirked at it's response.
"I'd never have thought." I replied, "Come at me, you bitch."
And in a flurry of motion, it did.
≠
a/n: yes it's a cliffhanger. sorry, babes. had to get this up today though, i felt so bad for making you all wait! i'm also going on vacation, so i hoped this provided you with some solace.
if you liked this chapter, VOTE and COMMENT! nothing makes me happier!
love you all so much!
qotc:
___where was rae?___
___who is her stalker, really?___
___would you like to vote so i can get next chapter out sooner!? :)___
i love you all so SO SO Much, see you all next time!
xo,
cleo
(PS. dedicated to @bunicula510 for the lovely comments left in the previous chapter! thanks for your support, it truly means the world to me x) )
(PPS. HOW COOL ISN'T BLACK CANARY IN THE GIF. JL AND JLU FANS, WHERE ARE YOU?)