Oblivion.
Hello darkness, my old friend.
I want it to be my home but for some reason, my body nor mind never wish to stay there for too long.
My ears pick up music in the distance and my other senses wake up to the sound of upbeat drums and guitar. My forehead feels cool as it's rested on a hard but smooth surface but it occasionally bangs into that surface. Not too hard that it hurts but hard enough to bring me back from my slumber. Groaning, I force myself to open my eyes just a sliver.
My head is resting against a glass window where everything outside goes by fast in a blur. Not that there's much to see as it's still pitch black outside. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to turn my head in the other direction and suddenly I'm hit with a pang of a headache that nestles itself in the middle of my forehead. I spot Sophie in the driver's seat, eyes on the road, her jaw clenched in sheer concentration.
"Where are we?" My voice comes out raspy, like I've been eating sand for days. I swallow several times and I find an unsettling taste in my mouth.
"We're in a car, on our way to see Greg, remember?" Sophie replies calmly though I hear the strain in her voice, like she's struggling with something.
I moan as I try to move around in my seat, realizing that we are indeed in a moving car. "How?" I groan, shutting my eyes closed as the headache buries deeper into my skull.
"I found it in the mechanic's garage. Hotwired it, removed the licence plates and stuffed you and our bags inside," she explains.
"Do you even know how to drive a car?" I blurt out, finding it hard to believe that any cop would sanction a 15-year-old the right to drive.
Despite seeing nothing but darkness with my eyes screwed shut, I can still sense Sophie's ice piercing glare boring into me.
"Of course I can," she snorts haughtily. "As long it's automatic," she adds mumbling under her breath. I hear the sound of loose plastic being rummaged through and something cold drops on my lap.
"Here, drink it," Sophie orders me. "I snagged a few from the store along with some food."
I squint my eyes open and see a water bottle cradled in my lap. Like a man suffering from heatstroke in the blistering desert, I snatch it up and gulp it greedily down in almost one huge swig. The water tastes heavenly and washes away the bad taste in my mouth. My foot touches the plastic bag and I immediately search the food. My hands grab lukewarm hotdogs and I hungrily scarf it down, like I haven't eaten in days.
Which is sort of true. . .
"Easy on the food," Sophie can't help but chuckle at my greed but I don't listen, grabbing a danish pastry from the bag and stuffing it in my mouth. My cheeks are all puffed out like a chipmunk and Sophie snickers. Eating this fast and this much in such a small amount of time does not agree with my stomach and it rumbles uncomfortably, so I force myself to chew slowly, savouring each bite with relish.
"Do you want some?" I ask inbetween chews, handing her a hotdog.
Sophie grimaces. "That's not what I need right now," she winces when she adjusts the seat and I notice for the first time that her left hand is clutching her side. It's covered in dark blood.
My eyes widen in shock. "You're hurt!" I gasp, dropping the sausage and in my panic, begin looking for bandages in the bag. It's only then that I notice the blisters and the flecks of dried flesh-coloured substance on my hands.
My stomach churns and everything that happened before I blacked out comes rushing back to me.
The ghoul.
Its head smashed to bits.
My hands holding the spade that's coated in brain matter and dark fluids.
"Oh god," I choke out, staring at my shaking hands. My throat constricts and my stomach threatens to deliver the food back out of me.
Sophie glances at me, sighs and stops the car by the road. She puts it on neutral and grabs one of my hands. "Leia, relax," she consoles me in her own awkward, brutish way. "What you did was necessary and you did good. Do you hear me?" She leans closer, her dark eyes fixed upon mine. "You did an amazing job!"
My brain hears the praise and my OCD compels me to clap my hands. But they're so dirty! However, I can't disobey. Whimpering, I clap my shaking hands a couple of times but it doesn't give me the usual relief. Instead, I'm filled with self-disgust and hate. How could I reward myself for killing a person? The emptiness rapidly fills with remorse and self-loathing, enveloping me as it threatens to suffocate me.
"I killed a person," I whisper and I can barely contain my trembling frame, looking frantically into Sophie's dark, unforgiving eyes, searching for something that could persuade me from the truth. But I find nothing, only the cold, hard, true fact of my actions.
"That thing was already dead when you killed it," she winced at her poor choice of words. "I mean, what you did was giving it everlasting peace. It won't hurt or kill anyone else ever again. It's all thanks to you. And I'm sure its soul is grateful for that."
Sophie is really bad at consoling people. It was never her thing and she relies too heavily on the "tough love" act, which I'm not accustomed to. But she's obviously trying for my sake and I'm sure it must be hard for her uncaring, undead heart. This time, though, her "tough love" does have its odd charm. My shivers lessen to a degree where I can hardly feel it and my mind isn't spiraling down a bottomless pit of despair and abhorrence.
"You really think so?" My voice is barely audible, it's so small and quiet and I almost don't want to look at my friend who probably is regarding me in contempt.
But Sophie surprises me yet again and gives me a reassuring nod and then proceeds to pour water on my hands, washing away the evidence of my heinous act.
"The car!" I squeak in an alarm but she dismisses it with a scoff.
"Who gives a shit, it's not even my car," she grunts, thrusting her hand back over her wound as another jolt of pain courses through her.
"Do you need to go to the hospital?" I ask, a bit relieved that I can worry over something else.
Sophie shakes her head. "No need," she answers, hitching up her breath as she scoots back in the driver's seat. "It's healing. Just slower than I anticipated." She starts the car again and we're back on the road.
It's lonely out here. Just the open road and us, and the occasional car or truck that pass us in the opposite side. It's just us against the world, I realize as I rest my head against the window, listening absentmindedly to the music that's playing on the radio. It feels like forever since we left my city and yet only 2 days have passed. Were the others hot on our trail? The familiar knot in my stomach tightens slightly as my worries grow more potent, so I quickly decide to break the silence between us in order to quell it.
"How long until sunrise?" I ask her. I would check my watch but my limbs have turned to lead from sheer exhaustion.
"A couple of hours," she grunts, peering at the road. "I'm trying to see whether we can park the car in some wooded area but there's nothing here! We've been driving for 3 hours and nothing but fucking fields!" she slams her hand down on the steering wheel in frustration.
"Why not go to a motel?" I ask, trying to ignore the lingering jolt from her slam.
"I've been telling you over and over again. It's too risky."
"More risky than stealing a car and drive across the Canadian border?" I ask flatly.
She glares at me.
And I see now how dark her eyes have become. They've almost become a pair of black orbs. Like a shark that has a prey locked in sight.
"Sophie, your eyes. . ." I point out, an unnerving feeling creeping up on me.
"Huh?" she checks her reflection on the visor and frowns. "Oh, they get like that when I'm in need of blood," she tries to say it casually but it sounds horrible coming from her, especially when I notice that her teeth have elongated slightly, gently brushing her lower lip.
"Is-is that so?" I'm even worse at playing casual. "Do you want me to get you a bloodbag from the backpack?"
Sophie's frown deepened. "I finished the last one this evening. It's supposed to sustain me for a couple of days but when you get hurt like this," she glanced down at her wound. "All the energy is being directed towards the healing process. Tomorrow night, I'm going to be famished."
I try to hide my gulp but am unsuccessful. My throat is still demanding moisture so I hastily take another swig of water. I realize with sudden terror that the only thing that has warm blood is me. I'm stuck with a raging bloodsucker inside a moving vehicle.
Sophie seems to sense my ever increasing fear and groans loudly. "Will you knock it off?" she snarls irritably. "I won't take a bite out of you, alright? I already said so! So stop acting like it's going to be your last moment here on this god forsaken planet!"
I say nothing, afraid that my squeaks might annoy her more and nod somberly at her scowl. But I can't help being afraid. She has told me how she acts like a wild animal whenever her Hunger overpowers her. How can she be so certain that won't happen now? I cautiously sneak peeks in her direction; her grip on the steering wheel is so tight that her knuckles have turned paper white; her jaw is clenched and her face is screwed up in sheer concentration, eyes set on the road before us. Small beads of sweat have pearled on her forehead that threaten to slide down.
I surmise that she's either in a lot of pain from the wound inflicted by the ghoul or that she's resisting the urge to lunge at me.
I really hope it's the first one.
We drive in silence until I can see the dark sky slowly becoming softer in colour, the dark indigo blending gently with the violet blue. Sunrise is upon us.
"We need to switch," Sophie says sleepily through gritted teeth as she stifles a yawn. "The healing process is zapping away the last remaining stamina I've got left."
My eyes widen. "Yo-You want me to drive?" I ask incredulously.
"Yeah, you've got a licence, right?" she asks as she pulls to the side of the road and puts it in neutral again.
"No, I've only got a permit," I mumble lamely. I avoid her gaze and brace myself for the shouting match.
"Fuck it, that's close enough," Sophie says tiredly as she climbs to the passenger seats in the back and begins to pull out the sleeping bag.
"But-but!" I splutter wildly but she cuts me off with the flick of her hand.
"Look, just keep driving until you see a wooded area. Then park the car somewhere around there so that it won't be seen from the road." She pointed at the plastic bag between my legs. "There are some energy drinks there in case you get tired."
I start arguing but suddenly her face is inches from mine, a snarl issuing from her throat. "Our safety is more important than your irrational fear, Leia," she reminds me in a low voice, dark eyes glaring. "Remember that."
I meet her gaze for a moment, try to beat her in her staring contest but sadly, I can't. I sigh in defeat. I can't win against her. When have I ever?
"Fine," I concede and shift towards the driver's seat. Sophie nods in approval and even squeezes my shoulder for encouragement.
"I'm counting on you," she yawns and crawls into the sleeping bag, rolling on the side where the sun might not catch her.
My hands grip the wheel and I look at the road ahead of us. Unwanted images of me crashing the car into a passing one fill my nervous head and I take a deep, shuddering breath before I put it into drive.
I'm in a car that we stole from a mechanic's garage and there's a sleeping vampire in the backseat that will probably be very hungry once it reawakens.
What could possibly go wrong?
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That's it for chapter 18!
The title of the chapter is from Foo Fighters, so all credit goes to that awesome band.
Do you think Leia can pull it off?
I really hope you have enjoyed this chapter and I want to thank all of my readers for still being with me on this journey.
Any feedback is welcomed in the forms of comments or a vote.
I hope you stay tuned for chapter 19 :)