I get asked alot how I write such funny dialogue. Idk tbh. I think if you wanna write funny dialogue u know it's funny if you're actually laughing from it yourself. I never plan out most things I write everything is on a whim.
Really that's with all things you write. If u writing something scary you should be scared. U writing something sexy you should be horny. I kinda forgot that about writing hot steamy things. I dont wanna feel horny I just had a baby I guess that's why. 😂😂😂
Okay lemme shut up lls.
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"You might uh had some but you need a real one and she a bad one real-est in the buildin'…" --- Fabulous, "Real One"…
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Elijah sat in Ms.Karens chair smiling proudly that he was having his permanent position evaluation/interview.
He had been sad that Michael ran off. He looked at it as progress because he knew he was getting to his whole soul. Though, he did miss him, it was days. He said he had some financial things to take care of, that he had an important business trip to tend to. Elijah loved a hard working man so he was pretty calm about him leaving.
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"So Elijah, what about your personality qualifies you to be apart of Iron Mountain?" She asked her eyes above the rim of her glasses.
"Well I am an honorable, honest, dependable and hard working person who stands for-"
**Phone ringing** : "80 degreez when I tell dat bitch please, raise up off these nuh-teez cause you gets none of these, at eaze…."
_
"Um," Elijah struggled to go into his satchel to get his cell phone. "I'm so sorry I meant to put it on silence. I'm sorry." He apologized excessively his shaking fingers pressing ignore.
"Rollin' down the street smokin' indo, sippin' on Gin &Juice…."
"Oh my god…" He panicked about to cry at embarrassment.
"You listen to Snoop Dogg?" She smiled happily.
"In my free time. When I'm not being honorable hard working and dependable.…which is rarely. " He lied.
"I love West coast rap." She raised her t shirt sleeve and there was a portrait tattoo of NWA.
"I know what you mean Elijah. Don't be embarrassed. Youre hired." She chuckled then threw up the West Coast sign. "WEST-SIIIDE!"
"West coast connection biatch!" Elijah and her said simultaneously as Elijah crip walked out of her office.
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"Ayee!!!" Elijah shouted tongue out doing his cute little dance.
"She hired your ratchet ass?" Ray snorted shaking his head.
Elijah was too busy hyphy dancing around the parking lot.
"We going out bitch!!!"
Elijah wanted to get naked he was so hype.
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"What's my favorite word? Biatch! Why they gotta say it like Short?…" The music blasted thru out Twan's Bar as Elijah one two stepped in the middle of the dance floor.
"Oweeeee!" Elijah shouted as Ray grinded on him and they both couldn't stop laughing in general joy.
"Blow the whistle…" They shouted the whole club jumping up and down in unison.
This is when the unison was lit and not scary.
[<::>]
[{¤}]
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"My First Love" by Avant came on and Elijah and Ray was at the bar talking and laughing with sweat drenched faces.
"Aww shit, somebody gon' get pregnant tonight!" The Dj shouted on the mic as Elijah and Ray smiled at all the couples dancing on the floor.
"Love is beautiful." Ray says longingly almost sad taking a sip of his Hennessy.
He felt so weirded out, his best friend finally found someone and he knew it'd come he couldn't pretend he was his.
"Come on." Elijah pulled his arm to the dance floor.
[:*:]
Elijah rested his head on his shoulder, not a care in the world of the sweat.
"You dont have to feel sorry for me 'Li. I'm good money." Ray gave him a force ass smile and Elijah ignored him only holding him closer as the sung changed to "Flex" by Tory Lanez. He swiftly turned around ticking his hips to the beat.
"…Did I fuck around and drop the top when them niggas think I wouldn't, Did I…" The music blasted as Elijah dropped it low making his ass bounce.
"When I go outside ya know I do my thang…"
A tall light skin man with a curly fade stepped in to dance with Ray.
Ray grinned at Elijah who was still content dancing by himself. Elijah winked at him as he danced in the back of the club by himself.
"So I got a flex , I got a flex…."
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{..}
[..]
Elijah was so into the song the music still blasting when he opened his eyes it was a nightmare.
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Ray was….fighting.
Again.
He ran from the corner of the club he was at but cried when he saw Ray was being put in hand cuffs by the clubs security.
"Thats my friend! He aint do shit!"
That was a lie.
Ray's bruised knuckles with blood told a different story.
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"He aint start it! I know him." Security held him back.
That was the truth.
He didnt.
"Hell make bail." The security shook his head at his dramatic demeanor. Elijah had a horrible feeling about it all. He was on the verge of a panick attack.
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"Fuck you do to my friend?" Elijah poked the tall mans chest, crying.
He didn't have the money to bail him out. He'd have to sit and there was a warrant for his arrest from last night's shenanigans.
Either way, he's fucked.
"Dont fucking touch me!" The man's eyes seemed so scary, his orbs were blood red. But he was strangely beautiful in the most untouched and not from this Earth sort of way.
A shiver went down Elijah's spine. But he wasn't afraid of him because Mike wouldn't be afraid, he walked with the Most High. By default that meant God was with him too.
"I'm not afraid of you!" Elijah pointed. "Fuck you! Snitch!" The boy walked away feeling violently angry.
Elijah wish he would've stopped Ray from giving out a probably much deserved ass whooping but he watched as they threw Ray in the back of the police car.
"Ima bail you out Ray! I swear!"
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"Why is Ray's whole eye balls black?" Elijah thought maybe the liquor was getting to him and he was emotional so he shook the vision from his mind.
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Elijah had a bottle in his hand ready to charge but he felt someone hold him back.
"No!" He shouted as security threw him out the club.
"No! God why!" He was panicking breathing heavy. He felt horrible about his best friend going to jail. Number one he's never left Ray's side for that long. Number two because his gut still told him something evil was lurking.
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He kept turning around paranoid on the way home to the subway.
He didn't have Ray.
He didn't have Mike.
He only had himself.
He couldn't breathe. He could barely function, he had no one.
He didn't know when Mike would come back. He didn't know when that evilness would attack him. He was sure of it and he hated being a looney because somewhere, in his brain, an inch of him thought he was geeking.
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Elijah stared out of his window, feeling the evil lurk.
He put salt all around his house and put on the Seraphim pendant piece Mike left him and prayed.
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**[Flashback]**
"God is with you 'Li. God is with all of us. He sends his angels to save us. But only if we have faith in the Most High. Have faith. When you're scared, pray. Evil lurks but never with those who walks with the Father." He thought of what Mike told him and smiled at him in that moment and Elijah thought Mike was beautiful. He'd miss him when he was on his business trip.
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Elijah never had faith until Mike walked into his life.
He prayed all that night. Just having conversations with the Most High about his anxieties. It gave him great comfort.
He could have sworn he saw the pendant slightly light up after his bed time prayer but he ignored that too.
He just wanted to go to bed.
He saw too much creepy shit for one day.
Too much creepiness was going on.